The silver moon climbs into the lace of shining stars and fathomless black. The leaves rustle in the trees, seeming to talk to me; if I listen hard I can almost hear her voice. Closing my eyes blocks out the beauty around me, the bittersweet brilliance of the night, but closing my eyes opens my mind to all those thoughts I seek to hide from.
Though all I can see is the back of my eyelids, my eyes see further. In the shadows of my mind thoughts come creeping, small, disfigured creatures that crawl into my memories and poison them. I can see the glittering raven strands of her hair float in the wind, and the delicate curves of her smooth white skin…
Blood marred her cream coloured top, red brilliance to stain her perfect skin and flawless clothing. I smiled then at her pain and at the crimson flaw, now I wonder, did she live? How much pain did I cause? Did the depths of her all-seeing eyes hide a deeper pain behind their tranquil infinity?
In my mind I see her, tall and strong, a goddess in the golden sunlight; the creeping creatures however, slowly take away her strength and resolution leaving her pale and fading in the eye of my memory. She starts to fall and my pain goes away, only to be replaced with hers, searing agony caused by betrayal. My treachery.
I open my eyes again, but all I can now see is the pain of ages in her eyes and the wordless gasp of anguish on her lips. Her fall is forever, endless in front of my vision. I try to reach out to her, to catch her hand but I can't. The arrow shot by her hand holds me back from her touch. She could have killed me with that arrow, could've taken my life, but she didn't. I was spared by the love of a goddess. Did I kill her for her kindness?
Reaching for her forever, never able to grasp her hand. She is my ethereal ghost of always, so close but unreachable. I can see her pain, her agony, and her death every day before my vision; there is nothing I can do. Tears stream down my face, I howl my horror and despair to the heedless skies, but no one hears. She cannot hear the cry of the damned. Not anymore. If anyone could see, if anyone looked, they would see the pain of hell written in amber-gold eyes. No one will ever see.
I scream. Guttural agony echoes in the skies, filling my whole world. My eyes fly open…
The silver moon climbs into the lace of shining stars and fathomless black…