Disclaimer: no part of Rurouni Kenshin belongs to me, it belongs to the genius Nobuhiro Watsuki.

Warning: language and sexuality.

Note: I've always wanted to delve into Sano's psyche, so here we are. This has been brewing in my head forever now, and I'm glad I finally wrote it down. Hope you enjoy!

The Real Reason

Softness. Warmth. Sanosuke could feel lips brush against his own. A breeze started and a sweet, flowery scent filled his senses. Dark hair like silk tickled his face, and eyes the most pure brown gazed down on him with love. He could feel strong arms pull him closer into a tight embrace. Only one thought crossed his mind as he was being held; he must be in Heaven.

Through the wind he could hear a voice whispering. Sano could almost pick up what it said, but it seemed so far away. The figure holding him gently drew him up, and their lips met in a tender and chaste kiss. Sano wrapped his small arms around the man's petite shoulders, and slowly deepened the kiss until they felt as one...

Sanosuke awoke with a start. He sat straight up in his futon, sweat dripping down his face and neck. His eyes were wide open, soft tears streaming down his flushed face. The feeling of the dream continued to linger and Sano felt his body tingling where he had been touched. Sano brought his hand to his face and felt the salty wetness. He looked at the moisture in surprise. He hadn't had that dream for some time, not for at least a few months...

His crying soon turned into soft sobs as the memories of his first love invaded his mind. Memories not only of who he was, his beauty and courage, but of his horrendous death. He could still feel the gentle hands on his face, the loving voice in his ear. The young man tried to push these thoughts to the very back of his mind, lingering on them would only cause him more pain.. Sanosuke slowly stood and grabbed his aku jacket, slinging it on as he walked out the door. He had to get away, to be alone with his thoughts.

The young man stepped out into the night, the chill air cooling his hot skin. He looked up at the moon, and realized it must be some time around midnight. It didn't matter though, it's not like he had a job or anything to get to in the morning. In fact, Sanosuke had almost nothing, except the friendship of Kenshin and everyone else at the Kamiya dojo and at the Akebeko. The thought should have cheered him up, but he felt even more empty than before. He was missing something in his life, and it's absence was eating him up inside.

He walked the empty streets for some while, before he found himself at the Tokyo police headquarters. He didn't know why his feet had led him here, and turned to leave when he heard a match flick behind him. Sano looked hard into the shadows, and saw a tiny red light burning in the darkness. He didn't have to see who it was to know exactly who was standing there. He started to bristle and began to speed up as he quickly walked away. If it was one thing he did not need to tonight, it was a verbal (or physical) sparring match with that man. But he only got so far before he heard a familiar condescending voice behind him.

"What are you doing walking around this late at night, ahou?" The pet name that Saitoh had so cleverly made for him almost made Sano forget his melancholy in a fit of rage.

Quickly turning and ready to murder the sarcastic wolf Sano yelled, "None of your goddamn business, you slanty-eyed bastard!" Saitoh merely gave him a smirk at his outburst and took another drag from his cigarette.

"It is my business, being a policeman. So unless you tell me why you were skulking around so late, I'm afraid I'll have to arrest you." The smile on Saitoh's lips grew wider as Sano huffed in indignation. Sanosuke knew that Saitoh wasn't bluffing. In fact, even if he did tell the wolf anything, he'd probably just through him in jail anyway for the amusement of it. He really did hate the bastard.

Saitoh watched curiously as Sano ran through all his options. Saitoh smiled to himself. Sano was so easy to read, everything he thought was stamped clearly on his face. Any moron could tell what the rooster-head was thinking at any given time. Saitoh supposed that's why he had come to enjoy the ahou's presence. He was one of the only consistent people he had ever met.

Knowing Saitoh would most likely see through any lie Sano could come up with, he decided to tell him a part truth. "I had a bad dream." he said somewhat embarrassed. Saitoh's brow raised in interest. "What about?"

Sano had just about had enough of this lovely encounter, and said, "It doesn't matter! I just couldn't sleep, okay?" Saitoh took another drag as Sano began to walk off. The young man thought he had gotten away when he heard the deep voice behind him, "Was it a man or a woman?" Sano turned to face the wolf yet again. "What the hell are you talking about?" Saitoh finished his cigarette and dropped it still burning to the ground to stamp it out.

"Your dream. Was it about a man or a woman?" Sano still couldn't get what the wolf was trying to get at, but by the wicked smile on Saitoh's lips he knew it wasn't going to be pleasant.

"I don't know... a man. Why?" Saitoh's smile widened as he stepped away from the wall he was leaning on. "Hm. Didn't expect you to like men rooster-head." Sano was taken aback by the comment. "W-what do you mean? I never said it had anything to do with, with... that." By now Sano was blushing slightly despite himself, and Saitoh knew he had guessed correctly.

"Ahou. People only walk around with that look on their face when they've been thinking about loved ones. So who was it about? Your captain?" All teasing had disappeared from Saitoh's voice and Sano had no words to describe his surprise. His anger at Saitoh's knowledge flared, and he raised his fist to hit the prying cop. How dare he mention that, thought Sano as he rushed at Saitoh's face.

Saitoh realized suddenly how young Sano looked at this moment when he was truly angry and ready to kill him. It made the ahou almost... attractive. Saitoh had realized Sano's sex appeal long ago when he first met the younger man. But that didn't stop the former Shinsengumi captain from driving a sword through his shoulder. The memory made the wolf smile.

Sano was still charging, and launched himself at the Mibu Wolf with all his might. Saitoh just laughed as he deflected his attacks with ease, parrying his fists as Sano became more frantic. The younger fighter then tried to use his Futai-No-Kiwami, but against Saitoh it was pointless. If he couldn't even hit the bastard, then his ultimate attack was useless. Sano tried one more time to get a hit in, but failed and flew back as Saitoh recoiled from hitting the younger man square on the jaw. Sano stepped back several feet before crumpling to the ground. Saitoh stood where he was, not even a scratch on him as he fished in his pocket for another cigarette.

If Sano didn't feel like shit before, he sure as hell felt like it now. The right side of his face ached and would probably turn into a black eye by tomorrow. His lip had split open and blood that looked black in the dark began to drip onto his white jacket. He wiped off the offensive blood before he heard Saitoh light another cigarette. The intense nicotine smell invaded Sano's nostrils, and he found it strangely comforting. Sano laughed to himself. To think anything about the Wolf of Mibu could be comforting.

Saitoh stared down on Sano with intense amusement, and when Sano looked up into the wolf's eyes Saitoh found something there that he thought he'd never see in the younger man's eyes. It was a confusing look, and to Saitoh it appeared to be one of respect, but it also had something else mingled in with it. Then it struck him, and his eyes widened slightly as he walked up to the still sitting Sano.

Stepping directly in front of Sano, Saitoh said in a tone that called for the younger man's attention, "I think you have a problem." Sano looked up into the wolf's amber eyes with confusion. "Yeah, I keep getting beat by an old man. That's my problem." Saitoh ignored Sano's remark and continued. "I think you have a problem when it comes to separating your emotions from the physical. You seem to confuse respect with love, and admiration with... lust." Sano was taken aback. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that whenever you come across someone who is stronger than you, which must be quite a lot..." Sano growled. "...and who can beat you in a fight, you develop an infatuation for them." Sano was furious by the strange accusation. "Your full of shit, Saitoh! What makes you think something as perverted as that!" Saitoh was now becoming exasperated with the ahou's ranting, although he did like it when he became angry.

Taking another drag and slowly releasing the smoke into wisps he began. "Where do I begin? One; you were, and seem to still be, in love with your captain from the Sekihoutai army. Two; you've latched yourself to Battousai and I imaging have sent him not so subtle signals about how you really feel towards him. Three; I've seen you looking at Shinomori, and the lust in your eyes is obvious. And last but not least four; you will find any reason you can to come and see me, and every time I beat you down, a look of pure enjoyment mixed with wanting comes in your eyes. Is that enough evidence for you?" Sano didn't know what to say. He wanted to deny everything that Saitoh had accused him of, but found that it all had a startling ring of truth to it.

When Sano made no protest to what he had said, Saitoh added, "And the real reason you keep coming to me, is I'm the only on of your living infatuations who will actually harm you. And you love it." Sano slumped further to the ground. How could Saitoh know all that? How could he know that he had a deep seeded love for Kenshin? And what he said about Aoshi; was it that obvious? Damn it, Sano cursed to himself, why couldn't I just fall for Megumi or some other girl like I'm supposed to?

As if he could read his thoughts Saitoh said, "Because you are attracted to power, and you have a fetish for pain." Saitoh smiled. And I have a fetish for dishing it out.

Sano slowly stood and was careful not to meet Saitoh's gaze. He wouldn't be able to look the man in the eyes again after what he had said. He turned to go for the last time before he suddenly felt a strong hand grasp his shoulder. He turned and found himself staring directly into cold, amber eyes.

"And where do you think you're going ahou?" Said Saitoh with a smirk. Sano brushed off the older man's hand and practically yelled, "Get off of me Saitoh! What the hell do you care? You probably can't even look at me after all that you just said!" Saitoh let out a loud 'hmph' before he threw his second cigarette to the ground.

Stepping closer to Sano, Saitoh said, "And what makes you think that, rooster-head?" Sano inadvertently took a step back as the wolf closed the already close distance between them. Saitoh stepped closer and closer, and each time Sano would move back more to keep the distance equal. The wolf had a frightening look on his face, and Sano felt like it was the first time he had met Saitoh at the dojo so long ago. Then suddenly Sano realized that Saitoh was corralling him to a building nearby, but it was too late when he felt his back hit a wall. Saitoh placed his hands on either side of Sano's head, blocking any means of escape.

In a slightly shaky voice, Sano asked, "W-what are you doing Saitoh?" The wolf gave the young man a predatory smile before he crushed his lips to Sano's. Sano let out a gasp at the sudden movement and tried to turn his head, but Saitoh quickly grabbed his face in one hand to keep him still. This time he ran his tongue along Sano's still bleeding lip, and bit at it, drawing more blood. Sano gasped as Saitoh began to lap up the coppery tasting blood. Sano moaned from the feel of the hot tongue against his lip and began to relax. The wolf brought his lips to Sano's again, but this time Sano kissed him back.

Sano opened his lips to the wolf, and Saitoh impatiently slid his tongue into Sano's mouth. Sano arched his back and brought his arms up to wrap around Saitoh's broad shoulders. He loved how strong and capable Saitoh felt through the fabric, and wondered how his naked skin would feel...

xxx

Sano awoke the next morning to the happy chirping of birds. He groggily wiped his eyes and ran his fingers through his disheveled hair. Then in a rush all the nights previous occurrences flooded his mind. He remembered the dream about Sozo, and then walking to the Tokyo police station. And then fought Saitoh, and soon after the wolf had said some very disturbing things. Sano then recalled trying to walk away, but Saitoh stopped him. And then the feel Saitoh's lips against his, and the heat rising off his body as he crushed himself against him.

He couldn't remember much else after that, but he assumed that he had walked home. But had he been alone? Of course he was, Saitoh was on shift at the time of their... encounter. Sano covered his mouth. He had actually made out with the Wolf of Mibu last night. A blush ran over Sano's face. Did they do more than just kiss? He didn't think so. He'd remember if he had done anything more. But still. He would have to talk with Saitoh about all of this. He was still in his Aku jacket, and looked somewhat presentable, so he hurriedly got up and headed out the door towards the police station...

A/N: That was sooo fun to write. I might add more chapters, since I have kind of a story line in my head But yeah, I hoped you liked it, and please leave a review with constructive comments. Thanx!