Solitaire
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When the missions get to be too reminiscent of the times we shared I pick up a pack of playing cards that I keep near me. It always lays nestled in my right pants pocket, a tattered blue plaid print. The cardboard box it came with had been worn to tatters, sewed together with huge squares of duct tape. And then out come the cards, chewed, dog-eared flannel pieces of cardboard.
Usually, I deal two to three times till I get an ace on the first faces. I work backwards from there, slipping cards soundlessly in place. Other than that first move I never cheat or sneak a peek.
Kakashi and Sakura talk around the campfire, but I just hold onto my suit stacks. And flip through my deck. The cards feel good beneath my hands. They are smoothed by Time's sand. I can still see the over serious little boy peering around my shoulder to look at them. He always kept on pointing out these useless tips about card placement.
Do you still remember him?
After the first few games I can get through a one sorting in three minutes. But now, if I'm stuck in a loop I can't help but battle it out. And I was stuck in a loop. The gap between one card and the other row stacks were too great.
I flipped though my deck; just my luck all royalty when I needed serf. A shatter of kunai splits the card I'm holding in two. I look up to see Kakashi and Sakura already in action. They didn't look surprised, only confused.
I held my hand closer to me. It was unhurt still pinching an invisible card.
It's useless to remember anymore.
The fight was conventional. Afterwards, I looked back at my cards. Most were beyond repair. But, it didn't matter. Because, after the first card broke the rest became worthless. When we packed up I left them on the floor.
What made me cry within wasn't the act it was that it didn't hurt…. Those were the days, Sasuke.
I don't remember that once upon a time I played a game of cards with a stoic partner.
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Done.