last christmas, an ugly betty fanfic

Giovanni Rossi's Journal 25/12/08

I got told to write down my feelings when they over whelm me, when I was back in High school. I have never felt the need to until now.

I can't believe it. This will be the worst Christmas ever. She has no idea of what she has done to me. I hate her, but I love her too. Stupid Betty Suarez. It is however, as much my fault as it is hers. I was the one who left her apartment four months ago and I haven't heard from her since. I gave her my heart and she threw it away, just like that. If only she had realised that she was my world.

Although I haven't heard from her and have kept away from her, I still see her every now and again but try to keep my distance. I can't face her yet. I want to be angry with her, but it's just not possible. She still has a hold on my heart. When I left her apartment that day, I left her a note. Nothing has ever been said to me about it but then again I haven't spoken to her in ages. It said: "I love you" and I meant every word. I just wish she knew it.

I want to speak to her and I know if she came to see me and kissed me, I would forget everything that has happened recently and forgive her instantly. She has that sort of hold on me. I used to be strong and would never have let a woman control my emotions like this, but then she came along. She's not like anyone I have ever met before. Betty Suarez, my Betty. I just wish she was my Betty.

Nella keeps telling me I'm stupid. She says that Betty used me to help get over Egg Salad. Although this is partly true, I would never hold it against her. I love her too much. Damn her! I hate her… no I don't, that's a blatant lie. I love her with my whole heart.

I was invited to Mode today. They had a Christmas lunch and she was there. A room full of people, yet when our eyes met I felt it again. There was that feeling in my chest, butterflies in the pit of my stomach and nothing I could do about it. That was until she walked over. She admitted she made a mistake and that she missed me. I was ecstatic. I pulled her to me and embraced her – I couldn't resist. She didn't struggle, just held me close. I looked down at her and noticed tears falling down her face. I held her tighter and took her outside. God knows why I was invited to the Mode Christmas Party – maybe a thank you for the sandwiches, but I am not complaining.

She looked wonderful, but she always does. Holding her in my arms was amazing and I had missed it so much. She spoke softly and gently, saying she realised how big a mistake she had made when she let me go. That was it. I was hers forever after that moment. The rest of Christmas Day flew past. We went to B's house and then to my parents and then headed back to my apartment. The rest is X-rated and am not writing it down. All I need to say is it's true – I love her more than ever and she is finally mine. This Christmas was the best one so far.

Inspired by the song Last Christmas by Wham! Just wanted to end something happy as everything I'm writing atm involves Betty getting hurt.

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance
But you still catch my eye
Tell me baby
Do you recognize me?
Well
If it's been a year
It doesn't surprise me
"Merry Christmas"
I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I love you"
I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now
I know you'd fool me again

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Ooooo
Oh oh baby

A crowded room
Friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you
And your soul of ice
My god I thought you were
Someone to rely on
Me?
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover but you tore me apart
Oh oh
Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

SPECIALLLLLL

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart ( Gave you my heart)
A man under cover but you tore me apart
Next year I'll give it to someone
I'll give it to someone special.
Special
Someone someone
I'll give it to someone,I'll give it to someone special
Who'll give something in return
I'll give it to someone
Hold my heart and watch it burn
I'll give me to someone,I'll give it to someone special
I've got you here to stay
I can love you for a day
I thought you were someone special
Gave you my heart
I'll give it to someone,I'll give it to someone
Last christmas i gave you my heart
You gave it away
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone