Ropes and purple Christmas trees
Author-note: Yeah, I have no excuse for this one, I just wanted to do a really strange cross-over.
"Dinnertime! Dinnertime!" a voice called down the hallway loudly.
Every villain looked up from their cots watching as a guard rolled the dinner cart towards their cells. Getting up as he approached, the guard stopped at the first cell and picked up a tray. On it was three different types of salad and three gingerbread men.
"Here's your supper, lady redundant woman."
The overly stressed looking blond woman reached out and took the tray from him with a glare then disappeared back to her cot. Whistling, the guard went to the next cell and removed another tray. This one had a whole cooked chicken and a gingerbread man on it.
"Here you go, Butcher!"
"Thank yous, Bill. Oh, look, a lil' cookie!"
The large man smiled down at his tray then took a seat on his cot as the guard went to the next cell. Picking up a tray with a large hunk of cheese and a gingerbread man on it, he handed it to the tall, white-haired man who eagerly seized it.
"Dinner's on, Doctor Two-Brains!" the guard announced.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, go away, eating now." the man said around mouthfuls of cheese.
Moving on, he picked up a tray with a plate of spaghetti on it and handed it to a tall, very thin man who frowned down at it.
"Suppertime, Amazing Rope Guy!" the guard said with a smile.
Amazing Rope Guy continued frowning. "How come I always get spaghetti?" he demanded. "No one else gets spaghetti every day."
The guard seemed surprised by this. "Oh, would you prefer something else?"
Amazing Rope Guy looked down at the spaghetti again then wrinkled his nose. "Yes, I would, spaghetti every day for months is a bit boring."
"How about linguine?" the guard asked. "Or we could switch to some nice angel hair pasta."
"How about if we stay away from pasta?" Amazing Rope Guy suggested.
The guard scratched his chin as he thought. "How about some Twizzlers Pull n Peel?"
"Why would I want that for a meal?"
"Hey, Twizzlers are fun!" the guard protested.
Amazing Rope Guy didn't seem impressed.
"Fine then, how about some shoe-string french fries?"
"I think I'm beginning to see a pattern here..."
"I think you're just fussy." the guard stated. "We go out of our way to make everyone feel comfortable with who they are so we serve themed meals, but you don't like yours!"
Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Amazing Rope Guy said. "Just because my thing is ropes doesn't mean I like all my food to look like rope. Can't I just have a salad like Lady Redundant Woman? That looked good."
The guard couldn't seem to wrap his mind around this. "But a salad isn't stringy or ropey at all!"
"It doesn't need to be." Amazing Rope Guy answered grumpily. "Or at least it shouldn't be."
"Er...okay then, I guess I can get you one if that's what you really want..."
"How come I didn't get a gingerbread man?" Amazing Rope Guy asked looking down at the tray.
The guard shrugged. "Must have run out."
"That's not fair! Everyone else got one! Lady Redundant Woman got three!"
"Amazing Rope Guy, knock it off, you're holding up the lunch cart!" Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy called out. "I'm hungry, just eat the spaghetti and let him do his job! It's not that big of a deal!"
Amazing Rope Guy held out the tray to the guard. "No, I won't. It wouldn't kill the jail to give me something different for a change and a cookie."
"Fine, I'll see what I can do." the guard answered.
The guard took away the tray then went on to the next cell.
"Here's a really great sandwich for you today, Chuck!" the guard could be heard saying.
"Psst, Amazing Rope Guy!" came a whisper.
Amazing Rope Guy looked up and saw several of the other villains regarding him in curiosity. Ms. Question, who had the cell across from him, had a brow raised and her arms crossed.
"Why are you always so grumpy at Christmas?" she asked.
Amazing Rope Guy crossed his arms as well. "I am not. I just felt like something different today, that's all."
"No way, Amazing Noodle Guy!" Whammer called loudly. "You're always wham at Christmas! You need some cheering up!"
"There's nothing wrong with me, I'm not grouchy, grumpy, or in any way bad-tempered around Christmas!"
"That's my line!" Lady Redundant Woman piped up, annoyed. "No stealing my schtick! And you are by the way."
Amazing Rope Guy's brow furrowed as he gave them a gloomy look.
Lady Redundant Woman looked down at her three cookies and picked one up. "Here pass, toss and hand this down to sulky."
The gingerbread man was passed down the line of cells until it reached Amazing Rope Guy's cell and the Butcher held it through the bars with a large grin.
"Merry Christmas, here's yer cookie." he said.
Amazing Rope Guy took the cookie a bit reluctantly feeling a little bit silly about the fuss he'd made. "It's not Christmas yet." was all he could think to say.
"Well, it will be in two days!" an over-enthused Mr. Big announced. "My chocolate advent calender has been helping me keep count!"
Amazing Rope Guy curled up on his lumpy, bent up mattress and took a bite of the cookie.
"We have the best Christmas party planned!" Chuck put in, "I don't know why you didn't want to help us with it."
"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I'm Jewish?" Amazing Rope Guy stated irritably. "And that Christmas just really isn't my thing?"
"Yer not Jewish, yer just grouchy." Butcher said. "'sides, even the Jewish have their Harmonica holiday this time of year so everyone is in the spirit. You should cheer up and have some fun."
Amazing Rope Guy rolled his eyes and gave a heavy sigh.
"Rabbit food's here!" the guard announced, walking back down the hallway.
He held out a new tray and Amazing Rope Guy got up to take it. The villain stared at his salad a moment then narrowed his eyes.
"You put spaghetti noodles on top of the lettuce!"
The guard held up his hands defensively. "Lots of people put noodles in their salad!"
"Ugh, whatever." Amazing Rope Guy muttered, turning away.
Curling back up on his bed, he picked off the noodles and began munching on his salad not realizing how much he'd missed eating something with a bit of colour. After spending months of eating nothing but beige it was refreshing to eat something different.
"Yer eating green...did you notice that?" Butcher asked in concern. "I don't see any meat in there..."
"It's a salad, it's doesn't have to have meat in it or a carcass or a corpse of any kind." Lady Redundant Woman stated. "Did you forget that I'm vegetarian? I don't eat meat and I'm very happy with that."
Butcher gave an obvious shudder. "No, I didn't forgot, I just tried to that's all. It's creepy. It's not right. You're like one of them leaf-eating things in magazines. Jee-raffs."
"A Giraffe?" Whammer jumped in. "Whammer loves Giraffes! With their long legs and little spots they're so wham!"
"Don't call me a giraffe you meaty strange, oddball, weirdo!"
"Hey! No need to be offenasive!" Butcher said, holding up his hands in defeat. "I didn't mean it like that!"
"Oh, really?" Lady Redundant Woman snapped. "And what exactly did you mean?"
As the villains argued back and forth, Amazing Rope Guy leaned back on his cot trying to get comfortable. He wasn't sure why he always felt so wound up and agitated this time of year but it happened every time. He supposed he never really liked holidays to begin with and this was the mother load of them with all of the lights, decorations, music and panic everywhere. Not understanding what the big deal about Christmas was, he gave a sigh just wanting it to be over and for everything to go back to normal. The other villains didn't even commit crimes this time of year because they were too busy celebrating. In his opinion that would be the perfect time to strike, Word Girl wouldn't be expecting it.
His mind turning, he rolled over, facing the window and closed his eyes. That would definitely make Christmas a lot more tolerable if he were able to commit a successful crime. He could only imagine the shocked look on Word Girls face when she read the paper on the 26th and found out he was out helping himself to the city while she opened her presents from santa. His mouth curled up into a smirk.
Amazing Rope Guy awoke several hours later cold and with a headache. He hadn't meant to fall asleep that early and now regretted it as it had messed up his sleeping pattern for the night. Rubbing at his temples, trying to ease the headache away he glanced at his watch and frowned. It was two in the morning and everyone else was sound asleep in the cells near him and would be for hours yet. There was no light to read by and already he was growing bored. In the back of his mind he realized it was now Christmas Eve but didn't put too much thought on it.
Standing up, he stretched the kink out of his back and looked at the bars of his cell. Everyone was asleep so he supposed if he did want to escape to start his plan, now would be a good time to do it. He'd only ever escaped from jail once before so he wasn't exactly sure how to go about it this time. He never actually succeeded in committing many crimes so usually they just kept him in jail for three days then let him out again on the equivalent of a timeout. It was humiliating but at least he was getting a lot of practice with his ropes each time he was let out.
Amazing Rope Guy paused for a second as a thought occurred to him then he counted on his fingers. Frowning, he leaned against the bars and squinted into the hallway for the night watchman. Seeing him sitting on a stool a few cells away he called for him.
"Psst, hey, guard!"
The guard jumped slightly almost falling out of his chair, having been dozing and glanced around in confusion.
"Guard!" Amazing Rope Guy whispered, trying not to wake the others. "Come here!"
The guard squinted in Amazing Rope Guy's direction for moment trying to see who it was then got up and approached the cell.
"What are you doing awake at this hour?" the guard stated. "You should be sleeping."
"I couldn't sleep." Amazing Rope Guy replied. "Now, I have a question for you. How long was my sentence, this time?"
The guard gave him a strange look. "The usual three days, why?"
"Then why have I been here four days? Five counting today."
"Oh," the guard said. "Well, the warden said you'd be wanting to stay with the others for Christmas, especially since they planned that big Christmas party. You're in and out of here so often anyway, he figured you might as well spend Christmas with your friends. There's no point in you spending it alone."
Amazing Rope Guy frowned at him. "I don't want to stay here for Christmas, I want to be released."
The guard seemed completely surprised by this. "What? Not stay for Christmas? But you'll be all by yourself!"
"That's my choice. Amazing Rope Guy has his OWN plans for Christmas for once!"
"Oh, are you going home to visit your parents?"
Amazing Rope Guy stared at him a moment then gave a slight cough. "Yeah, something like that."
"Well, as long as you're not by yourself tomorrow, I suppose I don't feel bad about letting you out." the guard said. "As long as you're happy that's all that matters."
"Oh, I'll be very happy."
The guard took out his key ring then slowly opened the cell door. As Amazing Rope Guy marched past him proud as can be, the guard had a strange feeling about this. He walked the villain out of the prison like he'd done dozens of times before then watched as he literately ran off into the night. Wiping his brow, he knew he'd have to tell the warden about this in the morning which would result in him probably eating his hat.
Amazing Rope Guy couldn't believe that was so easy. He knew this had to be a sign he was meant to be the Amazing Christmas Bandit and had to make sure everyone knew he was the best villain ever. He was tired of being made fun of and he knew from last time he couldn't just pretend to be one of the other villains to steal their glory, he had to earn the respect himself.
Knowing the most logical place he should hit first would be the bank, Amazing Rope Guy wondered how he would get in and out without tripping any of the alarms. Whenever anyone opened the bank-safe the alarms immediately went off so he needed to find a way to get in without opening it or else he'd be found out. He pondered for a moment then decided his best bet would be to take a look through Doctor Two-Brains lab to see if there was anything he could borrow for the heist that would get him inside. The scientist was brilliant at being sneaky after all so he was sure he wouldn't mind if he borrowed something. It was Christmas after all.
One very long, awkward bus ride later, where he was the only person aboard, he arrived near Doctor Two-Brains hideout. He shivered as he walked down the street towards the hideout hoping the lair would be warm. When he arrived, he tried the entrance but it was locked tight, the henchmen obviously not there. Sighing, he walked back up the steps and promptly slipped on a patch of ice.
Limbs flailing, he hit the pavement hard and lay for a moment stunned but otherwise unharmed. Glowering, at his usual bad luck, he slowly sat up and rubbed at his backside irritably hoping he wouldn't bruise. Getting up, he eyed the ice warily and edged around it then looked at the outside of the hideout. Seeing a window, he approached and tested it, pleased when he found it unlocked. He slid the window open fully, glad Doctor Two-Brains henchmen didn't think to check the window. Slipping himself inside easily because of his thin frame, he shut the window then squinted into the darkness. He couldn't see a thing and wasn't really familiar enough with the Doctors lab to know where the light switch was.
Stumbling slightly, he hit the light on his watch trying to get a small amount of light. It lit up a very tiny area around him for about five seconds then went out again. Hitting it again, he moved a few steps looking along the wall. It was a slow process but by hitting it over and over again, he eventually was able to find a light switch.
Now that he able to see, Amazing Rope Guy gazed around the surprisingly neat lair, not sure where to begin. He could see several large inventions that looked like some sort of laser or gun probably related to cheese of some sort and also quite a few small bits of machinery in a box near a worktable. Approaching, he read the label on the large inventions, seeing they either shot cheese or turned objects into cheese, nothing that interested him. Knowing Doctor Two-Brains also created other things now and then for his heists, Amazing Rope Guy approached the worktable.
Sitting down beside the box of machinery, he began digging through it, looking for something good. Most of the inventions weren't finished yet and several of them couldn't be used for anything crime-related but a few had potential. Setting aside the ones to consider, he went through the whole box then looked at his choices thoughtfully.
There was a teleportation watch, a gun which melted through anything it shot, a grappling hook and a super-shovel for digging under buildings.
He thought about it a moment wondering which of these would be the best to try. He was never really one for physical labour so that cut out the shovel and he considered the grappling hook. It went along with his rope theme so he'd keep that for backup purposes and attached that around his waist for later. He picked up the melting ray and turned it over in his hand smiling suddenly. He wouldn't have to use a door, he could just melt his way right through the bank to get what he wanted!
In his enthusiasm, he grasped the trigger a bit too tightly and with a loud 'zing' and flash of blue light, he melted the worktable in front of him. Staring at the puddle of molten metal just inches from where he sat with wide eyes, Amazing Rope Guy gave the gun another glance. With his luck, he could now picture this heist going horribly, painfully wrong if he used this gun. He was rather attached to all of his limbs so he very carefully set the gun down. Turning his attention to the teleportation watch he picked it up.
It didn't really look like it was fully finished as there wasn't any casing on it but all the parts looked like they were in place. Wondering if this was something Doctor Two-Brains was planning on using himself on his next heist, Amazing Rope Guy wondered if it worked. If it did, it would be even better than the melting ray-gun as he would leave no evidence he'd been there until they opened the safe.
Pressing the on button, the watch lit up, displaying a small screen. Amazing Rope Guy squinted at it, reading what it said.
"Coordinates? What's that mean?" he asked with a frown. "Word Girl probably knows but I'm trying to keep her away until at least after Christmas..."
He stared at the spots he was supposed to type something in and thought. "Could it be asking the address of where I want it to take me? That would make sense."
He pondered a moment trying to remember what the address of the bank was then began typing it in and he wrapped it around his wrist.
"4512 13th street 1st floor, so 4512131."
Once it was entered, he pressed the teleport button anxiously. The watch let out a crackle and the numbers on the screen seemed to blur together as the device tried to make sense of the coordinates. Unable to find what it was looking for it gave another crack, then a pop. Amazing Rope Guy stared at the watch in surprise, then realized something wasn't going quite right. The watch felt red-hot against his wrist and he winced in pain. The watch pulsed spasmodically then began to crack, steam rising out of the holes rapidly.
He gasped as the watch seemed to expand, the cracks spidering everywhere. The watch was glowing and blinking through several shades of red, blue and yellow, loud hissing of steam filling the air. It gave one final pulse then the glass proceeded to explode, showering him in debris as he was blinded by a bright light being released. The light seemed to pull at his skin uncomfortably for a moment almost feeling like a physical presence and lasted much longer than an explosion should have. With a last great flash, it retreated inwards with a deafening crack of thunder that left his ears ringing.
Amazing Rope Guy quickly pulled the watch off and threw it away from himself where it landed in a snowbank. There was a seconds hesitation. Wait, why was there snow inside Doctor Two-Brains hideout? He paused and very, very slowly looked up. His mouth promptly dropped open. He was no longer inside Doctor Two Brains lair, in fact he was no longer in Fair City at all. He was in the middle of a street of the smallest town he'd ever seen in his life. There was only a couple dozen buildings in the entire town and there was so much snow everywhere, it looked like a winter wonderland. Amazing Rope Guy had never been outside of the city before so it was strange to see such a tiny town and so much snow. Usually all the snow was plowed away in the city so there was never more than slush or the occasional snow-banks so he found himself a little awestruck.
Scrambling back to the watch, he picked it up and turned it over to look at it. All the glass was broken out of it and as he touched one of the buttons, it sparked, causing him to drop it in alarm.
"I broke it...Ohhhhh. Two Brains is going to kill me!" he stated in despair. "Great, how am I going to get home? I wonder if one of the other villains will buy me a bus ticket if I can find a phone?"
Shivering, he picked up the broken teleportation watch and tied it around his wrist again, knowing he had to eventually return it to Two Brains. Hugging his arms around himself he gazed down the street, wondering where he should go. It was still very dark out and there wasn't a light on in any of the houses so he knew he couldn't just go knocking on doors. In his costume they'd likely call the police.
Amazing Rope Guy gazed up and down the streets again and then realized something very surprising and strange. This town didn't have a police station. It had a town hall, grocery store, a bakery and several other stores but no police or jail! A sense of awe seemed to come over him and he looked around and around, sure he'd just missed them. When he saw the town indeed didn't have a police station or jail, a new thought occurred to him. Who was protecting this town from criminals? How were they kept in line when they broke the law?
Walking up the street slowly, he couldn't help but consider what Fair City would be like without any jails, police or guards. That's when he found himself standing in front of the town bank. He stopped and looked up at it in silence, for once feeling a sense of confidence. No one was here to stop him. Even if they did see him, what could they do about it? Amazing Rope Guy gave a smile. Even if this wasn't his city, it would still count as a crime if he could pull it off and he couldn't see any reason why he couldn't.
They probably didn't even have bank alarms if they didn't think they needed police. Inspecting the outside of the building, he raised an eyebrow at the giant pig-snout on the front but dismissed it as some sort of small-town joke. The building looked easy enough to scale with his ropes so he shouldn't have to much trouble to actually get inside.
Amazing Rope Guy looked down at his watch and saw it was only four thirty in the morning so if he hurried he'd be in and out before anyone woke up. Wondering where he could find some rope in this town he glanced around. Not really wanting to search around all through the town, he looked down at the grappling hook attached to his waist. Technically it was rope but he'd never used a grappling hook before but he supposed he could give it a try.
Removing it from it's holder, he pointed it towards the roof and aimed carefully. Pressing the trigger, the rope shot up and attached itself to the flagpole on the roof.
"Yes!" Amazing Rope Guy yelled, pumping his fist triumphantly.
Grabbing a hold of the rope, he expertly began to climb, excited about the heist he was about to pull off. He was about halfway up when he realized the grappling gun was making a beeping sound and looked down at the belt uncertainly. He climbed another step but the rope suddenly started to retract the loose rope from below him and the rope above him started being pulled upward as it was still attached to the flagpole. His torso got tangled in the rope in the process and in only a moment he was stuck fast, halfway up the side of the building.
"Ah, crap."
The rope was tight against him and he shifted slightly, causing himself to rock back and forth. He sighed heavily and looked down. At least he was only about eight feet off the ground, it wouldn't hurt too badly if he fell.
"Hello, there!" a bright cheery voice called from below.
Amazing Rope Guy looked down and saw a strongly built man wearing all blue, donning a blue hat as well. He was smiling up at him, head cocked, looking curious.
"What are you doing?"
Amazing Rope Guy stared back at him then up towards the roof of the bank a bit nervously. "Er...climbing?" he said innocently.
"That's dangerous, you shouldn't do that, you could fall!" the man gently scolded. "There's plenty of other games and sports that are much safer."
Amazing Rope Guy just stared at him.
"You're looking a bit tangled up, do you need help?"
"...yes."
The man smiled wider, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Reaching up, the man grabbed onto part of the rope then gave it a hard tug, pulling it and Amazing Rope Guy down. Amazing Rope Guy flailed in panic as he fell expecting to hit the ground painfully and was surprised when the man caught him. He was set gently on his feet and the man stood hands on hips, happy smile in place.
"I don't believe I know you." he said. "My name is Sportacus, I'm the town hero."
Amazing Rope Guy shifted slightly, feeling awkward and averted his gaze. "I'm Amazing Rope Guy."
Sportacus now seemed genuinely interested and looked the others costume up and down. "Amazing Rope Guy? Are you a hero too? Or perhaps a sidekick?"
"...no."
"Then why do you go by that name and wear a costume?" Sportacus asked.
Amazing Rope Guy felt a tiny surge of pride surface and puffed out his chest. "Because I'm a villain, the best there is!" he answered.
Sportacus seemed surprised by this and regarded the man in front of him thoughtfully. "It's a bit early in the day to be causing mischief, isn't it? Are you scheming anything?"
"You're asking me?"
"Yes."
"Er, no?"
Sportacus clapped him on the back. "Well, good, it's Christmas so I didn't think you'd be planning anything. Welcome to town, I hope you like it here. And be sure to introduce yourself when the children get up, they'll be happy to meet you."
Amazing Rope Guy was confused. Why was the town hero not angered or annoyed by his presence and why would children want to meet him? This was really strange.
"I'm not staying." he stated. "I ended up here by accident. I'll be leaving shortly."
"Oh, well, that's too bad, we don't get too many new faces around here. It would have been nice to show you a Lazytown Christmas."
"Lazytown? Is that where I am? Where's that?"
"You're lost?" Sportacus asked doing a few push-ups in front of him.
"No, I just don't know where I am."
"That sounds like lost to me. Even a villain needs help now and then. Our town villain Robbie needs help all the time, it's alright."
"It's fine, once this town is open, I'll be calling someone in my city who will hopefully get me a ticket home from wherever this is."
"But it's Christmas Eve!"
"Yeah?"
"The buses won't be running in Lazytown until after New Years!"
Amazing Rope Guy's eyes widened. "What? Why?"
"It's such a small town that every Christmas the buses stop and even when they do run, they only go outside of town once a week. We don't really need them during the holidays."
Amazing Rope Guy crossed his arms and kicked at a pile of snow. "That's just great. I'm stranded here. I always have rotten luck."
Sportacus looked concerned. "Do you need to get to your family's for Christmas?"
"No."
"Are you planning on spending Christmas with your friends then or maybe your neighbours?"
"Well, no..."
"Are you planning on spending Christmas alone?"
"I suppose, yeah. Why?"
"Then why do you need to go back in such a hurry? If you're stranded here for a couple days, you might as well enjoy Christmas with us."
Amazing Rope Guy hrrumphed and looked away not wanting to deal with Christmas at the moment. "I'm going to look around the town." he said.
As he turned to walk away, Sportacus called after him. "Wait, you forgot your rope gun!"
Quickly bending down to scoop up the rope and gun, he then made a hasty retreat, only glancing back once at the strange blue hero. He saw the man flipping off through the snow like a professional acrobat not once making a mistake.
It was now after five and Amazing Rope Guy was positively frozen. His body suit wasn't exactly insulated so he felt like one giant icicle. He wound the rope back into the grappling gun as he walked, making note that it was timed so he didn't actually need to climb, it would pull him up. That would be useful later on.
A heavenly smell making him more alert, he turned to find it's source, quickly zeroing in on the bakery. Approaching, he pressed his nose against the window and looked inside. He could see the baker just bringing out all of the fresh baked goods and laying them on the cooling racks where customers would be able to see them. Seeing a tall dark-haired man inside looking at the pastries, he wondered if they were open yet. Digging inside his pocket for a moment to see what he could come up with, he found a five and a bit of change.
Pleased he wasn't completely broke, he decided about seeing if he could buy himself some breakfast. He tried the door and found it unlocked so he walked in, a little bell announcing his entrance. Both the baker and the man glanced over at him then did a double-take at his costume. The man gave a shrug and went back to donut shopping but the baker just gaped at him dumbly.
Feeling rather awkward, Amazing Rope Guy approached the display case to see what they had. Whole wheat bread, whole wheat buns, whole wheat kaisers, he couldn't see any white bread at all.
"Why is everything whole wheat?" he asked.
"The whole town is on a health kick. Revolting, isn't is? It's all Sportaflop's fault." the man stated, being handed his purchases. "Everybody's so noisy and healthy now, it's horrible. It never used to be like this."
"It can't be that much of a kick, they still sell pastries here."
"Yes, ONLY here and that's because I pitched a fit and the bakery really doesn't want to lose my business considering how much of this stuff I eat. You can still get wrapped candies at the grocery store but everything else is gone now."
"That's weird." Amazing Rope Guy stated trying to decide what he wanted. "Can I get one of those cinnamon buns?"
"Please." the baker corrected him holding her hands on her hips.
"Are you kidding me?" Amazing Rope Guy asked, dumbfounded.
The man beside him smiled. "Nope, Lazytown's like that. Sportacus has been forcing pleases and thank yous down everyone's throat."
"Fine. Please?"
The baker handed one over to him with a napkin as she took his five with another strange look. As he waited for his change the man next to him touched the sleeve of his jumpsuit curiously then pulled at it slightly.
"What are you doing?" Amazing Rope Guy asked.
"Your costume, I was just looking at it. I was trying to see if it was boughten or custom made."
"Custom. You can't have a boughten costume if you're a villain, that's just lame."
The mans eyes widened. "You're a villain? From another town?"
"Yes, I'm Amazing Rope Guy, I'm the best there is."
"Hey, come sit down with me for a second." the man said, tugging him over to a table in the far corner of the bakery.
When they were both seated, Amazing Rope Guy gave the other man an odd look, not sure what he wanted exactly.
"My names Robbie Rotten, I'm the villain of Lazytown." the man introduced himself, pointing at himself with a flourish. "I've been trying forever to get rid of Sportacus since he ruined nice, quiet Lazytown. I haven't been able to do it so far. Lazytown has never had more than one villain before, I think we should team up for something big, something that will make Sportacus want to leave Lazytown FOREVER!"
Amazing Rope Guy took a bite of his cinnamon bun. "Why would I do that? He's never bothered me."
Robbie's brow furrowed. "You're a villain! Wreak havoc with me, Christmas is Sportacus' favourite holiday and I really want to ruin it for him!"
Amazing Rope Guy looked up from his food. "Ruin Christmas? As in no happy singing, no lights, no big meals and no decorations?"
"I want to completely ruin it! They never invite me anyway! I tried to last year but it didn't go so well. It would serve them right for following Mr. flippity flippity anyway."
Amazing Rope Guy had to admit he was intrigued. "Okay, I'm listening."
"I'm not really sure how to do it but I want to completely devastate everyone in town by taking away Christmas, which will cause Sportacus to go nuts from trying to help them all. Being overcome by pleas for help he'll flee town FOREVER!"
Amazing Rope Guy finished off his cinnamon bun and raised an eyebrow. "Have you seen the movie 'The Grinch who stole Christmas' by any chance?"
Robbie thought hard a moment. "Yes?"
"You're reminding me of it. Why don't we do that? Steal the presents? Our ending will be much better though."
"Take away all the presents and stuff? Leave them with nothing?" Robbie asked, starting to grin.
"Why not? If that Sportacus loves Christmas that much, then he'll have a heart attack when he wakes up and the town has been ransacked!"
Robbie clapped his hands together excitedly. "I knew we were meant to work together! Come on, let's go to my lair and make some plans!"
As they both stood up, the baker eyed them suspiciously having heard the last thing Robbie said. "You two boys better not be planning any trouble or I'll be sure to tell Sportacus on you!"
"Who me? Trouble? NEVER!" Robbie declared, seemingly offended. "And at Christmas too, how dare you! I've always been a perfect citizen!"
The baker rolled her eyes, everyone in town knowing Robbie's strange ways and odd moods. "Just keep your nose clean." she advised. "You, here's your change."
As they left the bakery, Robbie pulled him down the street hurriedly. Amazing Rope Guy was quite shocked however when they veered off the main road and started cutting across an open plain, covered entirely in snow. There was a small path made from footprints which they followed and after a minute or two they came to a large billboard with a picture of a cow on it. Robbie motioned for him to follow and they walked behind the billboard to a large pipe hatch sticking out of the ground.
"Your lair's underground?" Amazing Rope Guy asked incredulously.
"Of course, it's more secret that way."
Robbie opened the hatch with a groan of effort then crawled inside and began his decent into the pipe. Amazing Rope Guy followed a little cautiously, never having been in an underground lair before. After the initial ladder, the pipe went smooth and you had to slide the rest of the way and as he zoomed down through the pipe, he hoped there wasn't anything sharp at the bottom.
Amazing Rope Guy landed on top of Robbie who he himself had landed on top of some sort of fluffy orange chair. He gave Robbie an apologetic look then carefully slid off of him.
His first impression of the lair was that it was dark and dreary and sort of drippy. The steaming metal pipes and grating surrounded the area gave it a intimidating look, making it seem like some sort of factory instead of a hideout. There were inventions and bits of machinery strewn all throughout the lair, covering almost every surface like a child had thrown some sort of tantrum and hadn't cleaned up. A large purple Christmas tree sat in the corner, no gifts underneath, just decorated and sitting there by itself lonely and seemingly forgotten. Curious, Amazing Rope Guy looked over at Robbie.
"Are you an inventor?"
Robbie sort of waved his hand dismissively. "Yeah, I dabble. I have to make my own devices to defeat Sportacus so sorry for the mess."
"Is there any way you could fix this?" Amazing Rope Guy asked, holding out his wrist with the broken teleportation watch.
"A watch?"
"It teleports, that's how I ended up here and now I'm stuck because it's broken."
Now interested, Robbie removed the watch and then looked it over carefully. "I've never seen something like this before. I can take a look at it but I'm not making any promises."
Amazing Rope Guy nodded relieved he at least had a chance to leave sooner.
"So, I'll show you the map of lazytown and we can decide which houses we're going to hit first and how."
Robbie pulled off his winter coat, hat and gloves and tossed them aside, eager to begin planning. Amazing Rope Guy stared at the mans strange attire, wondering if that was his villain costume. Robbie was wearing a purple and burgundy striped pant-suit with the pants pulled up much too high, almost underneath his armpits with the smallest possible vest barely covering his chest. His shoes were black and white like the old fashioned spats men wore in the twenties and his hair had so much gel in it, it looked practically solid. Although his own costume was blue and yellow nylon/spandex Amazing Rope Guy still considered Robbie's much stranger.
Robbie shoved the loose machinery and tools off of his worktable creating a loud clatter then quickly spread a large sheet of paper open. Amazing Rope Guy approached and looked over his shoulder.
Every building in the town was crudely sketched out, including the streets and park. He had the names of each building written on them but what Amazing Rope Guy found interesting were the names written on the houses. The names Twiggy, Stinky, Pinky, Poodle and Trouble stuck out to him the most and he raised a brow wondering what that was about.
"Okay, here's the town." Robbie said, proudly. "There's six houses, shops, the mayors office and other buildings. We have to figure out what we're hitting first."
Amazing Rope Guy studied the map thoughtfully. He was terrible at being a villain but he did have some experience in this field so he grabbed a pencil and began numbering the houses.
"We should work from the outside in. It'll be faster that way."
Robbie hurriedly nodded. "That makes sense."
"What can we use to carry everything? Do you have a car? Or a truck?"
Robbie tapped his chin in thought. "I have a giant tractor we can use." he offered.
"Well, I suppose that might work, if we can find a sled or something to attach to it."
"I'm sure I can come up with something but when should we do it? Sneak in while they're eating Christmas dinner? That would be magnificent!"
Amazing Rope Guy's eyes widened. "No! Do you want to get caught! I get caught enough on my own! We should do it when they're sleeping, sometime after midnight."
That thought hadn't occurred to Robbie. He was awake all night anyway so it made sense to steal the gifts then. He would sleep all day through the noise and mayhem then wake to ruin Christmas for Sportaflake and the little noisemakers!
Thinking of sleep made Robbie yawn and he gave his orange fluffy chair a longing look.
"Why do you hate Lazytown anyway? Why not just leave? There's bigger cities you could be in."
Robbie paused mid-yawn. "Hate Lazytown? Who said I hate it? It's my home. I hate noise and children and stupid blue elves! I'm the laziest guy in town but they just can't seem to understand that and won't leave me alone. It's horrible! When I can, I sleep all day long and that's the way I like it!"
Amazing Rope Guy looked up from the map. "If you're the laziest man in town then why were you up so early?"
Robbie gave him a smirk. "I haven't been to bed yet. Night is the only time I can concentrate because it's quiet so I sleep during the day."
"Oh."
"Why are you up this early? You're not one of those early-bird risers, are you?"
"No. I kind of took a really long nap yesterday after supper and have been up ever since."
Robbie gave him a grin. "I knew we were meant to be! Best partnership ever! Our laziness will be legendary in Lazytown once we destroy Christmas!"
Amazing Rope Guy wasn't sure whether to be offended or not but didn't comment. Reaching out and taking one of Robbie' weird, frosted cupcakes, he watched as the other man sketched out a sleigh. He noticed this drawing was a lot better than the map as it was a technical drawing of how he was going to put it together and what parts were needed. As he munched on the cupcake, he watched in fascination as the drawing seemed to come together.
"Huh, it looks like a santa sleigh."
"Well, it is Christmas and don't get crumbs on my paper."
"How about side racks?" Amazing Rope Guy suggested. "Just in case things fall off?"
Robbie held up a finger. "Good idea."
Modifying the drawing slightly so it now had side racks, Robbie set down the pencil. "There, now when I wake up, I'll build it. I'm going to bed."
"Now?"
"Well, I'm certainly not going to stay awake all day! I sleep in my chair but there's a bed somewhere in the other room, I've kind of forgotten where it is. You're welcome to sleep there if you want. You'll have to look for it though."
Robbie didn't look like he cared either way and flopped down on his chair with a loud sigh of satisfaction. Amazing Rope Guy licked the last of the icing from his fingers and watched in disbelief as Robbie started snoring almost immediately. At first he thought he was faking but longer it went on, the more surprising it became.
Amazing Rope Guy looked one way then the other not exactly sure what to do with himself. He wasn't tired yet and he didn't feel safe digging around in the lair as a lot of the inventions looked quite menacing. If they didn't maim him horribly then he was bound to kill himself on the loose bits of machinery and metal laying about everywhere. He had terrible luck after all.
Deciding he'd prefer to look around town a bit now that it was later, he glanced towards the pipe and shivered. Figuring Robbie wouldn't mind seeing as he was asleep, he grabbed his coat, hat and gloves. Slipping them on, he knew the purple must clash horribly with his costume but he didn't care. Satisfied, he grabbed the ladder to the pipe and began climbing. The ladder went up to the pipe itself then stopped and he realized he was supposed to shimmy up the rest of the way. Glad he was thinly built so he had some manoeuvring room, he began his slow, careful ascent.
He couldn't imagine having to do this several times a day, no wonder Robbie didn't have any body fat on him! When he finally saw the top, he paused to try to figure out how to open it. Seeing the handle, he turned it he pushed with all his might. The top opened but Amazing Rope Guy's feet slipped and he fell down a metre or so, his legs ending up twisting above his head and his back wedging against the other side of the pipe. He took a deep breath and winced.
"...ow."
Carefully disentangling himself, he continued up the pipe glad he was flexible. When he reached the top, he grabbed the outside of the pipe and hoisted himself out. When he was safe on solid ground he closed the pipes entrance and let out a sigh of relief. When he turned around he almost bumped into Sportacus. He jumped back startled and tried to block the lairs entrance with his body
"Hello, again." Sportacus greeted. "Everything alright?"
"Yes, why shouldn't it be?"
"Well, you were in trouble just a moment ago, I wanted to make sure you weren't hurt."
Amazing Rope Guy gaped at him. "How would you know that?"
Sportacus smiled at him and pointed at a crystal on the front of his vest. "Whenever anyone is in danger, my crystal flashes and beeps and I know they're in danger."
"I'm fine, nothing's wrong."
Sportacus noticed how he was standing in front of the pipe and tried to look around him curiously. Amazing Rope Guy instantly stepped into his field of vision so he couldn't see.
"What are you doing?" Sportacus asked.
"Nothing, just looking around. There's an old rotted pipe here, better not go near it, I think it's an old sewage pipe. Raw sewage can be dangerous, better tell everyone to stay clear of this field."
Sportacus couldn't help but give Amazing Rope Guy a warm smile. He was trying to protect Robbie which endeared him to the elf instantly. Not many people stuck up for Robbie so he figured it was because the two of them were villains that he felt he had to hide the others home. It as too bad he didn't know that everyone already knew where Robbie lived.
"Sure thing." he said to the villain. "You should come meet everyone, the children are playing in the park. It's a lot of fun."
"Uh, no thanks. I'm going for a walk." Amazing Rope Guy said, giving the hero an odd look.
Sportacus seemed surprised by this. "You are? Good for you! I'll join you!"
"Uh..."
"Come on, I'll show you around town!" Sportacus cried excitedly, grabbing him by the arm.
Much against his will, Amazing Rope Guy was pulled a lot faster than he would have liked across the field and back into town. As Sportacus dragged him from one spot to another at a fast run telling him the street name, what the buildings were and who lived or worked there. After several minutes of constant running, Amazing Rope Guy thought he was going to die. When they finally stopped at the park and Sportacus released his arm, Amazing Rope Guy was panting hard, glaring at the hero like his gaze would shrivel him.
"W-water!" he gasped out. "Going to die!"
Sportacus stared at him in concern then looked upwards. "WATER!" he called loudly.
Instantly a bottle of water fell from the air and landed in his hand. He handed it to Amazing Rope Guy who downed half of it in one gulp then looked at Sportacus angrily.
"I said I wanted to go for a walk, not an Olympic race!"
"Oh!" said Sportacus a bit sheepishly. "Why didn't you tell me we were going too fast?"
"I did! Six times, but you couldn't hear me because we were going so fast!"
"I'm sorry, but at least you had a good workout."
Amazing Rope Guy took another swig of the water then looked at it a bit suspiciously.
"How did you do that with the water?"
"It came from my airship." Sportacus said pointing upwards. "It's where I live, everything is voice-commanded."
Amazing Rope Guy looked up and saw a huge, blue air-blimp and felt his mouth drop open. "You live in the sky?"
"Yup!" Sportacus said proudly.
He said nothing more, simply staring at the monstrosity in the sky. The children who had been having a snowball ball fight, saw them and came over curiously.
"Hi, Sportacus!" a little girl called, who had pink hair and was also completely dressed in pink.
"Hi, hi, hiiii!" one little energetic blond boy called happily.
"Is that him, Sportacus?" asked a little black boy with gizmos and gadgetry all over himself. "Is that the new villain you were telling us about?"
Sportacus gave them a nod. "Yes, Pixel, this is Amazing Rope Guy. He'll be staying here for a bit."
"That's a weird name." A small boy wearing all yellow commented. "What's so amazing about him?"
"Stingy, that's rude!" Sportacus admonished.
"Are you going to cause trouble like Robbie?" the pink girl asked.
Amazing Rope Guy didn't answer which caused her to frown.
"We already have one villain, we don't need two." she pointed out. "Our town's very small."
"Sportacus, will you show me, how to build a snowman?" the little blond boy asked.
"Sure thing, Ziggy!" Sportacus said, walking several feet away with Ziggy to show him how to get it started.
A brown-haired girl with pig-tails crossed her arms as she stared at Amazing Rope Guy. "Those look like Robbie's clothes you're wearing. Are you two working together to get rid of Sportacus?"
Amazing Rope Guy just stared at her.
"Why are you wearing a mask?" the pink girl asked.
"Haven't you read comic books Stephanie? It's so no one knows his secret identity!" Pixel said in exasperation.
"Robbie causes us enough trouble! He's fun sure, but I wouldn't want double the trouble!"
The other children had to nod their agreement.
"He should find a new home, in another town!"
Amazing Rope Guy sighed and wondered if he should get into a whole conversation with small children about why he's not staying and why he's even here in the first place. Looking over at Sportacus he saw the hero had built the bottom of the snowman already and was helping with the middle ball.
He was shocked when he was suddenly hit in the head with a snowball. Looking back at the children he saw they were all armed with them and were looking at him determinedly.
"We already have one villain." Stephanie said, the others standing by her side.
"Go home!" Trixie yelled at him. "We don't need two Robbie's, go bother someone else!"
"Just go!" Stephanie urged. "Please go!"
He was hit with another snowball.
"Go on!" Stingy ordered. "This is my town and I don't want any new villains here!"
"Go back where you came from!" Pixel yelled. "Go!"
Being hit with tons of snowballs in the head and face, Amazing Rope Guy turned away and did the most logical thing and retreated. Fleeing back in the direction of Robbie's lair, he figured it would be safer to wait there for the day.
Sportacus spun around when he heard the yells and saw Amazing Rope Guy being pummelled with the snowballs and heard what the children were saying to him. Shocked speechless for a moment he saw Amazing Rope Guy take off at a run then turned to the children.
"What do you think you're doing?" he demanded in a tone they'd never heard him use with them before.
Instantly every child dropped their snowballs.
"We don't want another villain in our town!" Trixie said defensively. "He's going to play tricks on us!"
The others nodded their agreement.
Sportacus crossed his arms.
"Did it ever occur to you that he has feelings too?" he asked. "And that they can be hurt?"
The children exchanged glances.
"I just finished telling him what a nice bunch of kids you were and what a friendly town this was and I brought him over to introduce you. He doesn't know anyone here and is probably very lonely, especially since it's Christmas. Even if he is a villain, mean words can still hurt his feelings."
The children looked rather uneasy as none of this had occurred to them.
"Next time you see him, I want you to apologize, okay?"
The kids all nodded, already feeling bad about what they did.
"Good, now let's finish this snowman, shall we?"
Halfway across town, Amazing Rope Guy stopped when he heard a shrill yelling of his name. Turning around, he saw an older lady with garish makeup and high-heals hurrying towards him.
"Yoohooooo!" she called when she saw she had his attention. "Hi, there!"
Once she was standing in front of him, she stood straight and proud as she extended her hand.
"You're new in town, Mr. Amazing Rope Guy so I would like to welcome you! My name is Bessie Busybody and I work at the mayor's office!"
Taking the offered hand somewhat awkwardly, he shook it much to the woman's delight.
"Well, now! I see you're more polite than Robbie!"
"Ah-"
"I would like to invite you over for tea." Miss. Busybody stated, businesslike. "I'm the ears of this town and can tell you anything and everything! It would be a great opportunity for me to learn alll about you!"
She was smiling at him in a hungry fashion and he found himself backing up. "Er...no thank you..."
"Oh, no dear, I insist!"
Backing up further, he shook his head. "I, ah, have to be somewhere...maybe another time..."
As he retreated with as much dignity as possible, she called after him.
"In lazytown? Where would you have to go in lazytown?"
When he was a safe distance away, he slowed down to a walk then headed across the field to Robbie's.
When back in the lair, Amazing Rope Guy took off the coat, hat and gloves and threw them where Robbie had left them. In a considerably worse mood than before, he glanced over at the still snoring Robbie. After that little scene in the park, he'd have no problem at all taking the presents from those little brats. He'd do it with pleasure.
Deciding to sleep for a few hours so he'd have the energy for the heist, he decided to go seek out the bed that was mentioned. There was a door which led into a hallway so he decided to investigate. There were several other doors off of the hallway so he opened one and squinted into the darkness. Flipping on the light switch he found a bathroom so he turned off the light and tried the next room. He had success with the next one, as he found a bed barely visible at all, buried in machinery and other small inventions. Setting everything down on the floor, he was eventually left with a bare bed with oil stained sheets.
Frowning down at the soiled sheets, Amazing Rope Guy wondered if there was even a remote possibility of there being a clean set somewhere. He didn't really want to sleep in motor oil or whatever type of oil that was, so he began digging through drawers and opening the closet.
He was quite surprised to find clean sheets pushed at the very back of the closet and pulled out a set. Quickly changing the bed, he left the ruined sheets on the floor then crawled into bed, sore and tired from the run. Used to a deformed, lumpy jail cot, a normal mattress seemed like heaven and Amazing Rope Guy felt himself drifting off almost immediately.
When Amazing Rope Guy woke up he had never felt more rested in his life. He stretched causing his joints to give a crack then gave a yawn. Sitting up, he glanced at his watch then did a double-take. It was already eight-o'clock? He'd slept that long?
Getting up, he rubbed at his eyes, then wandered out of the room in search of Robbie. The chair was empty so he glanced around the inventing room. The dark-haired man was nowhere in sight. Frowning, he tapped his foot in thought.
"Robbie?" he called.
"Out here!" came the yelled reply from outside.
Looking up at the pipe, Amazing Rope Guy sighed and began climbing the ladder. Making sure not to slip this time, he made it to the top without incident and pulled himself out. He found Robbie standing beside a large tractor, the finished sleigh hooked behind it.
"You finished it already? I could have done something to help!"
"I just finished. You were still sleeping so I didn't want to bother you with the sleigh. Sleeps important, I should know."
Amazing Rope Guy still frowned. "I could have like tied on ropes or something..."
Robbie stared at him. "It doesn't need any ropes."
"Everything's always better with ropes." Amazing Rope Guy muttered, inspecting the sleigh.
He had to admit it was quite impressive considering it was built in a day. Robbie certainly seemed pleased with himself and patted its side affectionately.
"This is my best plan EVER, Sportacus will be heartbroken!"
"Our plan."
"Fine, fine, whatever, ours." Robbie acknowledged. "Also we don't have to wait until midnight, you know, to go ahead with it."
Amazing Rope Guy gave him a questioning look.
"Everyone goes to bed at eight oh eight exactly. The towns dead after that."
Both of Amazing Rope Guy's eyebrows rose in question. "What?"
"Yeah, I know. Another one of the elf's influences. That's why he needs to go. He's weird."
"We should wait later just to be safe."
Robbie was obviously already all set to go and gave him a 'look'. "I don't want to wait, I want to go now."
"We might get caught!"
"Everyone's sleeping!"
"The kids might still be awake because it's Christmas Eve!"
"They won't be, I know it! They're too much of goody-two shoes!"
Amazing Rope Guy crossed his arms.
"Wait, we should stop fighting. Sportaflops crystal will go off if we don't."
"Are you sure everyone will be asleep?"
Robbie nodded.
Amazing Rope Guy thought a moment then sighed. "Okay, let's do it then but if we get caught, it's your fault."
Robbie clapped his hands excitedly and jumped onto the tractor. "I have our costumes ready!"
"Costumes? I already have a costume."
"This one is for the Christmas heist!" Robbie said, holding up two costumes.
One was a red santa suit and the other was a green elf suit complete with pointed hat.
"I'm Santa, naturally."
Amazing Rope Guy stared at the costume in disbelief. "I'm not wearing that."
Robbie looked down at it. "Would you rather be a reindeer? I can get you some antlers if you like."
"No. Why do you want to change costumes at all?"
Robbie looked at him like he'd grown a second head. "If you're committing a crime that has to do with Christmas you dress up as something Christmasy or if it has to do with say hockey, you dress as a hockey player, you dress up for the occasion . It's the power of disguise. It's how it's done."
Amazing Rope Guy stared at the elf costume then let out an over exaggerated sigh. "You do realize it's pointless for me to put a costume over a costume right? It's going to look stupid."
Robbie simply shrugged.
Amazing Rope Guy had dressed as many strange things throughout his career so an elf actually wasn't that bad considering. After you've worn a dress and heals with an old lady wig, nothing looked too strange anymore.
"Fine." Amazing Rope Guy said, snatching it.
When both were in their appropriate costumes, Robbie turned on the tractor ignition and put it into gear.
"Okay, let's get started!"
As they drove their way through town to the first house, Amazing Rope Guy couldn't believe that all the lights were really turned out this early. It was crazy! They parked the tractor in front of the first house, the one that had been titled 'Stinky's house'. The house was the largest in the town and much more immaculate.
"I bet we can get a lot of good things out of here!" Amazing Rope Guy commented. "Look at it!"
Robbie sort of curled his nose up at the house then said. "This is a good one to start on, you were right. This kid needs to wake up to a bare Christmas tree. That would give him a rude awakening."
"It would be even better if they woke up and there was coal there." Amazing Rope Guy stated.
Robbie laughed, thinking of the children's crushed expressions when they realized they got nothing for Christmas and that it was their fault. "Why didn't we think of that sooner?"
Amazing Rope Guy shrugged.
"That's too perfect to pass up, I'm going back to my lab to get some coal. You get inside and unlock the door for me."
"You want me to go in by myself?"
"Just start moving the presents onto the sleigh and I'll help when I get back."
Amazing Rope Guy was used to working alone so he nodded. "What are you doing with coal anyway?"
"I have lots of things I experiment on in my lab."
As Robbie hurried off, Amazing Rope Guy regarded the house wondering how he was going to break in. By the stickers on the windows he could see they had a really good security system so he couldn't break the windows or kick at the door. Glancing up, he looked at the roof. It had an old fashioned chimney on top and he rolled his eyes.
"Tis the season."
Pulling out the grappling gun, he aimed it at the chimney and fired. It clasped around the brick securely and this time, he knew to wait. Sure enough several seconds later he heard a beeping then the rope began to retract, pulling him up with it. When he was on the roof, he put the grappling gun away, then inspected the chimney wondering if he would even fit down it. Glancing down, he saw it was surprising large on the inside and with his thin frame he wouldn't have any problem at all.
When he was sure there was no fire lit, he slid his legs into it and slowly began sliding himself down the chimney. When he reached the bottom, he crawled out and was met with the site of a Christmas tree and the largest pile of presents he'd ever seen in one spot.
"How many children do these people have?" he wondered out loud staring at the mound of presents in awe.
Knowing these presents would take up a large portion of the sleigh, he hoped the other houses didn't have quite so many children living in it. Quietly tip-toeing out of the living room into the hallway, he found the front door and unlocked it. He hurried back out to the sleigh and grabbed one of the sacks off the back of it. Seeing no sign of Robbie yet, he went back inside to start moving the presents.
Trying to stay as quiet as possible, Amazing Rope Guy looked the pile of presents over, not even sure where to begin. Finally just grabbing one and tossing it into the sack, it got him started so he began throwing everything he could in the sack. Some of the presents weighed quite a bit and he wondered what was in them. What could a child ask for that would be so heavy? When the sack was full, he went to hoist it over his shoulder so it could be carried out. He pulled but nothing happened. Furrowing his brow, he stanced his legs and tried again with the same results. Now determined, Amazing Rope Guy braced himself them lifted with all his might, groaning at the effort and strain on his arms. His knuckles were white from the force and his arms shook but he managed to lift the sack off of the floor.
It only lasted a second or so however because his knees buckled and he dropped the sack with a loud 'thwump'. Frowning, Amazing Rope Guy rolled his eyes and began dragging the sack towards the door. Even just dragging it was hard work and he was out of breath by the time he reached the front door. He yanked the sack across the snow and then looked up at the sleigh. There was no way he was going to be able to lift it up there, it would just have to wait on the ground until Robbie came back to help him.
Panting slightly, he grabbed another sack and headed back inside. Just wanting to catch his breath for a moment, he entered the kitchen which was right off the living room wondering if he could find something to drink. Figuring that he was robbing them anyway, he opened the fridge to see if they had coke or something. What he saw caused to pause and simply stare.
Every item in the fridge was labelled with the word 'MINE' in all capital letters. The fruit, vegetables, meat, milk, EVERYTHING was labelled with 'MINE'. Upon closer inspection, he actually found one item that wasn't labelled as 'MINE'; the jug of eggnog was labelled as 'NOT MINE'.
"Apparently he doesn't like eggnog?" Amazing Rope Guy hazzarded a guess.
Grabbing the eggnog and closing the fridge, he twisted off the top. Eggnog wasn't his favourite but it was the season. Taking a swig from the jug, he nearly choked on it when someone said.
"What are you doing?"
Spinning around, Amazing Rope Guy was relieved to see it was Robbie. He held up the eggnog and Robbie raised an eyebrow.
"You're stealing their food?"
"I was thirsty." he said defensively. "Besides we're already stealing from them so it hardly makes a difference."
He held out the eggnog to him and Robbie wrinkled his nose. "What's that?" he demanded.
"Eggnog."
"Eggnog? Isn't that stuff healthy? It has milk and eggs in it! Yuck."
"Eggnog's not healthy, it's full of sugar and fat and stuff." Amazing Rope Guy said.
Robbie now seemed interested. "Really? Well, I might try some if it's not healthy..."
He took the jug and very hesitantly brought it up to his lips. He tried a sip and did find it very thick and sweet not all healthy tasting so he took a few hearty gulps and handed it back.
"Not bad but a little weird."
Amazing Rope Guy took a drink himself then recapped it. "There's still a lot of presents here that we have to sack up, we should hurry."
Deciding to take the eggnog with them in case he got thirsty again, he tucked it under one arm, and led Robbie back into the living room.
"Okay, let's get these into the sack and then get out of here." Robbie said. "Here's the bag of coal for this house, the rest is outside."
He set down a small bag which clunked when it hit the floor.
Amazing Rope Guy opened the empty sack and Robbie began tossing presents in hurriedly, humming jingle bells as he did so. When they finally had every present, they both dragged the sack out of the house and to the sleigh. It took the both of them to lift it and then they lifted the other sack onto the sleigh as well, securing both with cords.
"I'm good with knots." Amazing Rope Guy informed Robbie. "Ropes are sort of my thing you know?"
"Can I have some more of that eggnog? This is hard work."
Passing him the jug, Robbie took a long drink from it and passed it back. Amazing Rope Guy drank some for himself, then re-capped it.
"Let's get to the next house, the Pink house is next."
"You mean Pinky's house? That'll be fun. She's a pain."
Crawling onto the tractor, Robbie started it up and drove them to the next house.
"So how did you get in last time?" he asked, when they got there.
"Through the chimney."
Robbie smiled. "Genius, but you have to be careful not to get stuck there. That happened to me last year."
Hopping down off the tractor, he set down the eggnog, pulled out the grappling gun and aimed it at the chimney. Firing it, the rope attached like he wanted and he waited for it to retract. Robbie watched with interest and picked up the eggnog. He found the stuff strangely addicting and swigged at it as Amazing Rope Guy made his way up to the roof. He watched as the other villain disappeared down the chimney and only a minute or two later the front door was opened.
Amazing Rope Guy was looking particularly proud of himself and he seized the eggnog. He hadn't eaten anything since that morning and was rather hungry so he drank several large gulps of the eggnog before following Robbie inside. In the living room, they found a rather modest little Christmas tree with several presents underneath. When they saw the presents underneath, they both started giggling at the same time.
"All the presents are pink and sparkly!" Amazing Rope Guy cried.
"It looks like a unicorn threw up in here!" Robbie said.
"This is that little pink girls house?"
"Whose else would it be?" Robbie asked with a snort. "She takes the whole pink thing a bit far! Ick, pink!"
Both laughed again, having a good time, neither feeling nervous anymore about their heist.
Robbie opened the sack and Amazing Rope Guy threw the presents inside, it only taking a moment and only filling a quarter of the sack.
"You got the coal?" Amazing Rope Guy asked.
Robbie grinned and held it up. "She'll be devastated the worst when she thinks she's she's been bad!"
Robbie put it under the tree and they both ran out of the house in good spirits. As they loaded up the sack, they each drank some more eggnog and practically jumped onto the tractor. They went to Pixel's house next and Amazing Rope Guy immediately pulled out the grappling gun. His hand a bit unsteady, he aimed and the shot missed the chimney completely.
Robbie thought that was hilarious and laughed at him, pointing at the limp rope. "You missed!" he said.
"Yeah, I'll get it this time!" Amazing Rope Guy said also laughing, retracting the rope so he could try again.
His second shot hit target and he gave Robbie a triumphant look. As the rope pulled him up onto the roof, Robbie grabbed another empty sack off of the sleigh. A couple minutes later they were both inside the house, looking at the strange metallic-looking Christmas tree. There was a small pile of gifts underneath, and each took a drink before getting started.
They began putting presents into the sack and were almost done when Robbie stopped him.
"Hey, see if you can get one in!" Robbie called holding the sack open and backing away several feet.
Amazing Rope Guy looked down at the gift in his hands and grinned. Reeling back his arm, he whipped it at the other man and Robbie managed to catch it in the sack with a laugh.
"Okay, okay, now try over here!" he moved across the room and jumped up on the couch.
Amazing Rope Guy picked up another gift and threw it and again got it in the sack.
"Try to see if you can get it in if I'm moving!"
Robbie began moving back and forth from one side of the room to the other and Amazing Rope Guy picked up the last gift determinedly. He threw the gift but at the same time he lost his balance and fell over backwards into the tree. He knocked the tree over with a crash and the gift that he'd thrown hit, Robbie in the shoulder, knocking him over into a ceramic village scene. Little people and houses were scattered all over the floor as well as ornaments and lights. Both villains exchanged shocked looks. Robbie grabbed the last gift and shoved it into the sack.
"Er... I think it's time to go to the next house..."
Amazing Rope Guy glanced around. "...uh...yeah, we should leave."
Running out of the house as fast as they could, they threw the sack on the tractor and drove off as fast as they could. When they were to the next house, they stopped and stared at each other for a moment then burst out into laughter.
"Oops." Robbie said in-between snickers.
The drank some more eggnog as they sat there a moment trying to catch their breath, in good spirits and smiling.
"You know, I think it's getting warmer out." Amazing Rope Guy stated. "I'm not even cold anymore and I'm not even wearing a coat."
Robbie nodded his agreement. "It's very warm, I hope the snow doesn't melt, or the sleigh won't be much good."
"Whose house is this?" Amazing Rope Guy asked.
"Miss. Busybody's." Robbie said distastefully. "She's really annoying, she's always yelling at me. She's an old crank."
"Let's go ruin her Christmas then!" Amazing Rope Guy said, jumping off the tractor, almost losing his balance. "I didn't like her."
Robbie got down as well watching him as he fumbled with the grappling gun. This time it took him five tries to hit his mark. Once he was on the roof, he wobbled around a bit then gripped the chimney for balance. He took longer this time getting down and unlocking the door but Robbie didn't notice as he was in such a good mood.
In Miss. Busybody's living room they found an immaculately neat Christmas tree like something an OCD person would put up. Each ornament was exactly the same distance apart as well as the lights and beads. Robbie knew she had probably made her boyfriend, the Mayor Meanswell, put it up for her and snorted. She had several presents under her tree so he handed Amazing Rope Guy the sack and approached.
As he picked one up, he grinned wickedly and laughed. "Oh, you're a mean ooone, miiister grinch!" he sang. "You reeeally are a heeeal!"
Amazing Rope Guy laughed.
Robbie continued as he threw the present in. "You're as cuddly as a cactus! You're as charming as an eeeeel, Mr. Gri-inch!"
"You're a bad banana with a greasy black peeeel!" Amazing Rope Guy finished for him, his voice cracking.
Robbie winced then laughed again. Shoving some more presents into the sack, he found he felt a little strange. His mind seemed rather fuzzy but he assumed it was the excitement of the heist doing strange things to him.
After the last present was in the sack, they turned their attention to the tree and decided to mix up a few ornaments just to mess up the evenness of the tree. They switched quite a few all around, giggling all the while then left the bag of coal and quickly slipped out the door. Both were staggering slightly and had trouble getting to the sleigh for some reason. When the sack was loaded and they were finally on the tractor, they took another drink of eggnog and continued on.
At this point neither of them could remember how many houses they had left so after the next two they hit they weren't really sure if they were done or not. Robbie was sure that was everyone but at this point neither of them could remember why they were even dressed up as santa and his elf, or outside in the first place.
"I feel a little sick." Robbie said. "I think I drank too much eggnog."
"What eggnog?"
"This stuff!" Robbie said, pushing the now empty jug at Amazing Rope Guy.
"Oh."
"Let's go home." Robbie said, starting the tractor engine.
As they drove back towards the billboard, the tractor was swerving all over the place. It slipped and fish-tailed all over the place as they crossed the field and Robbie didn't seem to see the big drift of snow ahead of him. Hitting it, they instantly came to a standstill, stuck in the snow.
"Aw, shoot." Robbie said.
Both got down and saw the tractor was half buried in snow. For some reason they both thought that was hilarious and started laughing. Robbie crawled up onto the sleigh and sprawled across the empty sacks. Amazing Rope Guy gave him a questioning look.
"What good is that going to do?" he asked.
"Dunno, but it's comfy up here. Come up."
Amazing Rope Guy pulled himself up beside Robbie and laid beside him. They both stared at the huge pile of presents behind them and giggled.
"This is the best Christmas ever." Amazing Rope Guy said. "I should make this a tradition."
"Yeah," Robbie agreed, pulling some of the sacks overtop of himself.
They both looked up at the sky and noticed how clear it was, not a cloud in sight.
"There's so many stars." Amazing Rope Guy said. "You can't see them in the city."
"We should steal those too."
Both giggled at that then fell silent. Amazing Rope Guy had never gotten into Christmas before and also loathed this time of year. This was the very first time he had a Christmas that he had truly enjoyed and it had been with a partner of all things! Robbie began to snore beside him and Amazing Rope Guy smiled. Maybe he'd come back next Christmas...
Pulling some sacks over himself, Amazing Rope Guy edged closer to Robbie and curled up. He was feeling really tired for some reason and could barely keep his eyes open. Before he could really consider this in too much depth he had passed out, warm and snug beside Robbie both covered by the empty bags. That was where Sportacus found them the next morning still sound asleep.