Special thanks to KitchenSink for being my beta!
Twas the Worst Christmas Ever
Twas the morning before Christmas
When up in the tower,
Yakko affixed Dot
With a lingering glower.
She'd interrupted his daily
Breakfast Cappuccino
With a plea to take her jogging,
To which he'd said "Eeeeehhh…No,"
"It's too early, it's too cold,
And I'm watching 'King of the Hill'
If you want to run that bad,
Just go get on the treadmill."
She'd begged and she'd whined
And she gave her best pout,
She absolutely desperately
Wanted to go out.
He could argue all he wanted
It didn't matter, the point was moot.
On a treadmill no one would be able to see
Her adorable new pink jogging suit.
It's not that she needed him
She could easily go alone,
It's his company that she'd wanted,
And not a chaperone.
But he would have none of it.
He staunchly refused,
And her attempts to persuade him
Were only leaving him amused.
He'd already gotten himself comfy,
Set to enjoy his day off,
He could just spend time with her later
So it wasn't a total brush-off.
"Why don't you ask Wakko to go with you?"
Exasperated, Yakko finally said.
Dot frowned with annoyance.
"I would if that oaf wasn't still in bed!"
"You know a little exercise wouldn't kill you."
She said with a huff.
She put her hands on her hips
And waited for his rebuff.
But Yakko didn't respond.
He wasn't going to rise to her bait.
He knew the best way to get rid of his little sister
Was just to ignore her and wait.
The tactic paid off
For it wasn't too long
Before she got bored
And decided to move on.
He said as she left,
"Don't forget your cell phone."
She could only roll her eyes,
His fathering she'd long since outgrown.
He may be the oldest,
But he wasn't her dad.
He'd best not forget that
Or the consequences would be bad.
"Who does he think he is?"
She asked herself peevishly,
She was easily the most mature of the bunch
If he believed otherwise then he believed foolishly.
She headed out of the studio lot
And on towards Griffith Park.
She would start her jog at the recreation lake
And end it at the statue landmark.
Sitting on a park bench
Halfway between the statue and the lake
Sat a down-and-out junkie
By the name of Richard Blake.
He was new to the addiction
And hadn't rationed out his stash.
Now he was out and withdrawal was close.
But he was unemployed and without any cash.
He glanced up just in time
To see Dot rounding the bend.
He grinned a little grin to himself
His money problems were about to end.
He recognized her,
He'd been a fan of her show.
And as a television celebrity
She must be rolling in dough.
He waited last minute
Before blocking her path
Startling her and cornering her
Beside the old stone birdbath.
She had still been annoyed
By her brother's dismissal
She hadn't even seen Richard hiding there
Frightened, her fur began to bristle.
She'd been accosted by fans before
But this guy gave her a bad vibe,
And in such a deserted, isolated area
The fear welling up was hard to describe.
He easily dwarfed her
At his tall six-foot-eight
And the way he was looking at her
Made her feel a lot like jailbait.
"Do exactly what I say,
And this'll be over real quick.
But don't you dare scream.
I don't want to have to do anything drastic."
Dot quickly glanced around
For a means of escape
Convinced by his word choice
That his intention was rape.
When all he demanded was her money
She couldn't help but be relieved.
This was only a mugging?
A heck of a lot better then what she'd first believed.
If not for one small problem
She would have happily handed it all over
But she didn't have any money
She hadn't brought her wallet with her.
"I-I don't have any money,"
She said with a tremble
"I was only going jogging I didn't think I'd need-"
Her fear was making he ramble.
"But I can give you my cell phone,
And here, take my ipod."
Furious he interrupted:
"You're lying! Drop the façade!"
"You're a freaking child celebrity,
By definition that makes you rich,
So shut your yap and hand it over,
What, you think I'm some kind of idiot, bitch?"
At an absolute loss
Of what more she could possibly do
She dissolved into helpless tears,
"I don't know what else to tell you."
She had to be lying
Attempting to play him a fool.
A celebrity without money?
It went against all the rules.
He grabbed her by the throat
And lifted her off the ground.
He tightened his grip
So she couldn't make a sound.
"You must think you're really something,
With your money and your clothes.
But I tell you now it's only luck
That separates you from the hobos."
Desperate for air
She began to kick and flail
But with his strong height/weight advantage
Her efforts were doomed to fail.
He saw her distress,
But he was on a roll
He was sick and tired of those
That felt they were better because of their bankroll.
"It's all the same with you rich Hollywood brats,
The world gets handed to you on a plate.
You think you're entitled to everything
But in the real world you're only just deadweight."
Had she been able to speak
She would have pointed out,
That she and her brothers had worked hard for their living
And had never once looked for a handout.
She would have mentioned how they were orphans
And had to take care of each other,
They had never had parents to take care of them
She'd relied solely on her older brothers.
But even if she'd been able to say these things
It's doubtful it would have made a difference.
She was only Richard's scapegoat now
A captive audience as he shouted his grievance.
She had never wanted to see her brothers more
Then she did at that very moment
The thought of never seeing them again
Was the most unbelievable torment.
What would they do without her?
She wondered as she struggled for breath
She knew that Yakko would consider himself
An important instrument in her death.
He would blame himself
Of that, she was so sure
He would torment himself with the 'what ifs'
Was it something he'd be able to endure?
She wished she'd never invited him along at all,
Just so he could avoid the guilt.
Something like that hanging over his head,
His spirit surely would wilt.
And on Christmas no less
Could the timing be worse?
Her brothers would never celebrate it again
It would seem entirely too perverse.
Richard was still ranting at her
About what, she didn't know
All she could hear was her own heartbeat
Which was now beginning to slow.
It didn't hurt as much as she thought it would
It was way worse at the beginning.
But now her body had mostly gone numb
And her peripheral vision was thinning.
When she suddenly went limp
Richard was surprised,
He'd only meant to frighten her
Not cause her untimely demise.
But she was so small
And his grip was so strong
He was in a panic now,
He knew that he had done wrong.
He checked her for breath
But was horrified to find none
He could attempt to resuscitate,
But instead he decided to run.
He took a quick look around him
To ensure that the coast was clear,
If anyone had seen what he had just done
The repercussions would likely be severe.
It was all her own fault.
If she'd only just decided to obey,
If she had just handed over the money
He would have let her on her way.
Before ditching the body
He decided to frisk her.
Hey, he still needed the cash
Why stop at just murder?
He reached into her pockets
And around his hand pawed
Finding exactly what she'd said he'd find,
A razor cell and an ipod.
He felt a little sick to his stomach
After he'd finished his search.
She really hadn't had any money
His intelligence she hadn't been trying to besmirch.
But there was no way to reverse it,
What was done was done.
So he hid her body under some bushes
Then nonchalantly walked out into the sun.
There had been no witnesses
And no security cameras were around
He'd sell her phone and ipod on ebay
And a link back to him would never be found.
He would have to keep his head down
And keep attention off of him.
He'd just try and forget that dead little girl
And learn not to attack on a whim.
He smiled brightly to a passer-by
Half a mile down the trail
So far so good, he'd get off clean
And never see the inside of a jail.
Yakko and Wakko
Back at the tower
Were starting to wonder about their sister
Who'd been gone for several hours.
"I really hate when she does this."
Yakko muttered as he hung up the phone.
She often turned her cell off
When she wanted to be alone.
He hated not being able to reach her
It drove him crazy to no end.
It defeated the purpose of even giving her the phone
Another stress with which he'd have to contend.
It was hard enough being a guardian
When he himself was only a child
If only they wouldn't make it so hard sometimes.
He thought as he picked up the phone again and dialed.
"Hi! You have reached the voice mailbox of Princess Angelina Contessa Lou-"
Yakko sighed and hung up again.
"Could the network be down?" Wakko asked,
As he played with the remains of a chewed ball-point pen.
"She's just messing with me."
Yakko said with annoyance.
"I wouldn't take her jogging
Now she's punishing me with avoidance."
"What part of 'keep it on in case of an emergency'
Is so hard to understand?
We need to be able to reach her,
It's not an unreasonable demand."
"She is so in for it
When she gets back here.
I'll ground her, just watch,
She won't leave home for a year."
He decided to give up for the moment
And went to sit with his brother.
Dot would eventually come back
And they would argue again about how he wasn't her father.
Usually he and Dot got along wonderfully,
Their relationship was incredibly close,
But whenever he had to pull rank on her,
A heated confrontation usually arose.
She could be the sweetest thing on the planet,
Until you incurred her wrath.
Nothing was as innocent as cute little Dot,
Until she went on the warpath.
She could be very independent one moment
And very clingy the next
Yakko figured it was just a girl thing,
But quite often it left him perplexed.
What would trigger a fight tomorrow
Wouldn't necessarily do so today
It all depended on her variable moods
Which seemed to change with every weekday.
But he loved her unconditionally
Of that he had no doubt
And any fight they had would end
As soon as she gave that pout.
When the phone finally sounded
He was confused for a time
Because it wasn't his cell phone that was ringing,
It was their landline.
"I'll get it!" The brothers shouted
As they both lunged towards the phone
Yakko easily got there first.
"I never get to get it!" Wakko said with a moan.
Yakko smirked at his younger brother
'phone war' was their custom
And Wakko as the slowest runner
Made an easy victim.
But Yakko's smile did not last long
As the caller began to speak
His eyes went wide, his body went rigid
Wakko's curiosity was instantly piqued.
"What's wrong?" He asked as Yakko's legs gave out
And his brother dropped to his knees
His expression was blank but his eyes said a lot.
"You're scaring me, Yakko, please!"
But for once in his life Yakko had no words
His mind had completely gone blank
Then a thought occurred to which he desperately clung
Maybe this whole thing was just a horrible prank.
"This isn't funny,"
He growled at the 'fake' cop.
"If you've hurt her, I swear to God I'll…"
But what the officer said next caused him to stop.
He was silent for a few moments
Before saying softly, "I understand."
He hung up the phone and sat very still.
The weight of it all more then he could withstand.
By this time Wakko was losing his mind
Yakko looked like a zombie and still wouldn't speak
He was desperate to know what could cause this affect
And why his brother's expression was so utterly bleak.
"There's been an… incident."
He was finally able to say.
But he could go no further,
His face crumpling in dismay.
"Is it Dot?" Wakko asked
Already fearing the worst
Yakko could only nod
As he fought back an emotional outburst.
The drive to the morgue was silent
In the car of the studio psychiatrist.
Dr. Scratchansniff had been quick to help
Fortunate, as he was the only human they'd grown to trust.
But he would be left in the lobby
When the brothers went in for the viewing
This was reserved for family only,
Some liability thing to keep people from suing.
She was laid out on a table
Covered completely in a white sheet
The table was meant for a full grown adult,
The effect made her look especially petite.
The brothers clung to each other
Dreading when the coroner would make the reveal.
Hearing Dot was dead was one thing,
But to see her would make it real.
"She was found in a bush by an old lady's dog."
The C.S.I. coroner was saying.
"Cause of death was asphyxia due to strangulation,"
He gestured to where she was laying.
"All we need is a positive I.D.
And permission to perform an autopsy.
I'm pretty sure of cause of death,
But I'd like to perform a biopsy."
"Do they know who did it?
Do they know why?"
Wakko asked softly,
Trying his hardest not to cry.
"We think it was a mugging
Her pockets were picked clean
It's unlikely that we'll catch him
There was no evidence at the scene."
"We're unlikely to find a fingerprint
On a jogging suit made of velour
I can try to match bruise patterns on her neck
But how helpful that will be, I am unsure."
He stepped up to the table
And took the edge of the sheet in his hands
He waited before he did it,
Allowing them to give the command.
When the brothers were ready they nodded
And the coroner pulled back the sheet
There she was before them clear as could be
The horrible truth sealed in concrete.
There was no denying it now,
It was not some cruel sick joke.
Their little baby sister really was gone
And for a long moment nobody spoke.
Yakko was the first to break down
Overcome by grief he openly wept.
Wakko withdrew into himself
Feeling completely inept.
Yakko draped his left arm over her
And with his right hand he stroked her hair,
The guilt rising up inside of him
Was entirely too much to bear.
If only he'd gone with her.
If only he had been there.
He would have defended her with all that he was,
Now all he had was despair.
He had been so outrageously selfish
Blowing her off to watch some stupid show
All she'd wanted from him was attention
Just a little one-on-one time and he'd refused to go.
He'd failed her as a brother and guardian
Was he ever any use to her at all?
The one time she ever really needed him
And he had dropped the ball.
"I should have gone with her,
She shouldn't have been alone.
Thanks to me we'll spend Christmas
Picking out a headstone."
Wakko didn't speak
For he had nothing to say.
Because he'd over slept he'd missed out
On saying anything at all to her today.
Everything felt hazy
Like it was all some kind of nightmare
Like the world was in slow motion
And he was the only one aware.
He watched his brother cry
As he stroked their sister's hair
Wakko couldn't think of anything they'd done to deserve this
It all seemed so terribly unfair.
After giving them time to say their goodbyes,
The coroner led them back out
He'd promised his best to find out who'd hurt her
But of the odds of his success he was obviously in doubt.
They returned home to their tower
And numbly looked around.
She had presents under the tree and a stocking on the mantle
Reminders of her abound.
Scratchy had offered to stay with them
But they had decided not to intrude
Despite it all it was still the night before Christmas
And he deserved his holiday too the brothers had to conclude.
He had left with a promise to check in tomorrow
To see how the brothers were coping.
Which seemed pretty stupid, it was all pretty obvious
That tomorrow would be filled with nothing but moping.
They sat together on the couch
Each lost in their own thoughts,
Each wanting to be closer to the other
For comfort against emotional onslaughts.
They would probably never get closure
But that was the way it sometimes went
The universe was often unpredictable
And acts of fate you couldn't prevent.
It had never even occurred to them
That their brother/sister relationship could sever
Damage done they had no choice
But to sit and await the worst Christmas ever.
The End
Me being the evil person that i am i have an illustration posted on my deviantart account. The link is in my member profile.