Yiku: Hello! Welcome to my insanity!
Hiei: Shouldn't you be working on your Tears of Venus fic?
Yiku: Eh, eventually. No one seemed to like it that much, and I'm losing inspiration.
Hiei: Oh..so, what'll this fic contain?
Yiku: ~evil smile~ You'll just have to wait to find out. Oooh, the authoritah that I possess..
Hiei: That doesn't sound too good.
Yiku: It could be. It's actually another one of my attempts at humor. Sheba helped a bit, too, so I suppose I'll give her some credit..
Hiei: Who does it feature?
Yiku: Let's see..you, Kurama, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Yukina, some others.
Hiei: Wait, WHAT?!
Disclaimers: I own nothing except the ideas in my head.
Chapter One: What the hell?!
The sun shone into the window of Hiei's apartment at about eight in the morning. The room was so cluttered, that the only way you could tell someone was actually living in it, was by seeing a trail from the bed, to the bathroom, then to the door. Also, a sock would appear each day from Enma knows where. My guess is Hiei's feet? Does he even wear socks?
Anyway, Hiei opened his eyes slowly, only to be blinded by the sun. Ironically, the song "Staring at the Sun" by The Offspring was on the radio.
Hiei yawned and stretched, not really wanting to get up. But, he had to, or else Kurama would come in ten minutes later to jump on Hiei's bed, scaring him awake. Hiei chose blindness over unwanted surprise, and stood slowly.
After three minutes of getting dressed, Hiei walked out of his room to see Kurama making breakfast, Yusuke sitting on the couch and watching TV, leaving the baka absent.
Kurama smiled upon seeing Hiei. "Good morning, Hiei", he said kindly as he offered his friend a plate.
Hiei "hn"-ed and took the plate, piling it up with eggs, ham, some pancakes, and a biscuit. He sat down at the table and looked down at the newspaper.
The fire demon nearly choked on his biscuit as his eyes rested on an article titled, "Man Goes On Rampage Due To Love", with a picture of a very distraught Kuwabara smacked on the front.
Hiei growled. This had better not been about Yukina.
Just moments after skimming through the article, the door burst open. The three turned to see Kuwabara panting, his eyes puffy. It looked like he had been crying. "Guys..Yukina dumped me", he said sadly, trying not to break out into sobbing.
The only sounds that kept the next two minutes from being silent was the sizzling of Kurama's eggs on the oven. Soon, it was broken by a rather loud, "Ah, shit!" from Kurama. He had apparently made a stupid mistake by placing his hand on the hot stove. Poor Foxy.
Hiei felt like cheering. It would be an understatement to say that he was enthralled with the fact that his sister had seen the human for what he really is.
Yusuke looked over at Hiei, and got spooked by the demon's face: It was a happy face, one that Yusuke had never seen Hiei make before.
{Either he's really happy for his sister, or he scored.} Yusuke thought.
He discarded the thought and finally asked Kuwabara, "Is there another guy or something?"
Kuwabara sniffled a bit and nodded. "She wouldn't tell me who."
There was a bit more of a silence, until it was broken by a small knock at the door. Kuwabara, being closest to the door, answered it. He gasped. "Yukina?"
Hiei's eyes widened slightly, but he didn't let it show as he drank from his coffee mug.
Yukina saw them all, and smiled politely. "Good morning, everyone. Sorry to be a bother, but might I have left my tear gem here?"
Yusuke immediately got to his feet, and said, "I'll go check. Just sit tight. Do you want some breakfast?"
Yukina nodded, and started serving her own plate. As she walked by Hiei, she gasped lightly. "Excuse me, Hiei? What's that around your neck?"
Hiei set down his mug and looked at the chain. Not wanting her to see what it was, he simply said, "It's just a chain. No big deal."
Hiei took his coffee cup back, and began drinking it, but it was lost from his throat as Kurama came up behind him and yanked on his necklace. Hiei heard Kurama say, "Oh no, Hiei, it is a big deal. You seem to have an identical tear gem to Yukina's."
The demon spun around, grabbing his necklace from Kurama. He put it back beneath his shirt as Yukina gasped again. Hiei shot a glare at his so- called friend, and looked at Yukina. He was about to say something, when suddenly..
"Hey look, Yukina! Found your necklace! It was in the hallway in the corner", Yusuke said triumphantly.
Now it was Hiei's turn to gasp. {Damn! Now she'll know that we're brother and sister! I have to remember to maim Yusuke later.}
Yukina pointed at Hiei's chain, then looked back at her tear gem. "Wow, the same gem..how coincidental", she stammered.
Hiei sensed that Kurama was about to say something, so shot him a brief deathglare before he could speak. Damn, now he had to tell her..
"Does that mean you guys are meant for each other?" Kuwabara asked.
If Hiei had been drinking his coffee, he'd have spit it out all over the baka ningen. But alas, he had none.
Yusuke and Kurama were trying not to crack up as Yukina's eyes widened and she blushed lightly. Hiei could feel himself blushing as well. Kurama put his hands on Hiei's shoulders. "Congratulations, Hiei. You have a new girlfriend."
Hiei didn't bother holding himself back as he punched Kurama in the face forcefully. He could hear Yusuke laughing and kicked him in the shin. Kuwabara screamed and ran into his room, sobbing. Yukina looked at Hiei. "Is that true? Am I your girlfriend?"
Hiei slouched his shoulders. He looked at Yukina, and noticed that it looked like she was about to cry if he said no. His eye twitched as he grabbed the tear gem out of Yusuke's hand, and gave it to Yukina. "I think you should go", he mumbled to her as he pointed to the door.
She blinked and nodded, showing herself out and shutting the door behind her.
Hiei screamed in rage after he knew the door was closed and kicked Kurama and Yusuke once again. "You are so dead! Next time Yukina shows up, you'd better keep your mouths shut or you won't have mouths to keep shut!!"
He stormed out the door, leaving Kurama and Yusuke laying on the floor, cracking up. "Where's he going?" Yusuke asked, finally calming down.
"I'm not sure. Maybe following Yukina?" Kurama asked, stifling another laugh.
Sobs from Kuwabara's room could be heard. Yusuke and Kurama shared a blink. There was a silence but then a very loud crash. "There goes the TV", Yusuke said.
Another loud crash was heard, as Kurama commented, "Stereo system."
Yet another loud crash. "Picture from the left wall out the window", they both said.
Then, a loud screech sounded, as Yusuke and Kurama said puzzled, "His kitten?"
They ran into the room, to see no one there. The TV was on the bed, screen busted in, the stereo was on the floor, shattered, and there was a very angry ningen out on the street below yelling mean things to whoever the asshole was who hit his new Ford F 150.
Yusuke looked outside to see the guy flipping him off, and said, "Shut the hell up! That truck sucks ass anyway! He did you a favor!"
"Oh, oh, so now you're a car expert?! Come down here, hot shot!" the man yelled, scaring poor innocent children away.
"I don't have to", Yusuke said, pointing his index finger at the man. "You see? I can use my finger, too! Except I'm actually going to put someone in serious pain!!"
He fired at the scary man, and then saw nothing but a pile of ashes where the ningen had been. The crowd that had been circled around the action cheered, but the children were still afraid.
Yusuke was a very good people person. No wonder he meets so many interesting people.
He turned around, as Kurama said, "We should probably go find Kuwabara. There's no telling what he'll do if he finds Hiei."
"I know what he'll do: Die slowly and painfully. We should probably find Hiei first", Yusuke told him.
Kurama nodded, and the two jumped out the window. Yusuke landed successfully on his feet; Kurama did not. "Ow.." the demon mumbled as he lay on his face on the cement.
Yusuke helped him up, to see that it wasn't quite Kurama. He yelped. "Aah! Why are you Yoko now?!"
Kurama blinked and looked down at his arm. "AAH! It can't be now! Why now? Damn it all!"
"What's now?" Yusuke asked, a bit confused.
"Once every few months, I turn into Yoko, temporarily. It's all because of that stupid Dark Tournament."
Yusuke nodded, understanding. "Oh, like a period right?"
Kurama fwapped him. "Idiot! You don't have to just ask that in public! But, yes, that's a pretty good comparison."
Yusuke held his head as he and the fox demon ran down the street in search of Kuwabara and/or Hiei. Yusuke just hoped that they were both alive.
Wait a minute, no he didn't.
~ End Chapter! ~
Well, that was fun, now wasn't it? Would like more of my deranged insanity? Sure ya would! Just review like a good little reader, and more'll come soon!
Now..Review!
[Yiku]
Hiei: Shouldn't you be working on your Tears of Venus fic?
Yiku: Eh, eventually. No one seemed to like it that much, and I'm losing inspiration.
Hiei: Oh..so, what'll this fic contain?
Yiku: ~evil smile~ You'll just have to wait to find out. Oooh, the authoritah that I possess..
Hiei: That doesn't sound too good.
Yiku: It could be. It's actually another one of my attempts at humor. Sheba helped a bit, too, so I suppose I'll give her some credit..
Hiei: Who does it feature?
Yiku: Let's see..you, Kurama, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Yukina, some others.
Hiei: Wait, WHAT?!
Disclaimers: I own nothing except the ideas in my head.
Chapter One: What the hell?!
The sun shone into the window of Hiei's apartment at about eight in the morning. The room was so cluttered, that the only way you could tell someone was actually living in it, was by seeing a trail from the bed, to the bathroom, then to the door. Also, a sock would appear each day from Enma knows where. My guess is Hiei's feet? Does he even wear socks?
Anyway, Hiei opened his eyes slowly, only to be blinded by the sun. Ironically, the song "Staring at the Sun" by The Offspring was on the radio.
Hiei yawned and stretched, not really wanting to get up. But, he had to, or else Kurama would come in ten minutes later to jump on Hiei's bed, scaring him awake. Hiei chose blindness over unwanted surprise, and stood slowly.
After three minutes of getting dressed, Hiei walked out of his room to see Kurama making breakfast, Yusuke sitting on the couch and watching TV, leaving the baka absent.
Kurama smiled upon seeing Hiei. "Good morning, Hiei", he said kindly as he offered his friend a plate.
Hiei "hn"-ed and took the plate, piling it up with eggs, ham, some pancakes, and a biscuit. He sat down at the table and looked down at the newspaper.
The fire demon nearly choked on his biscuit as his eyes rested on an article titled, "Man Goes On Rampage Due To Love", with a picture of a very distraught Kuwabara smacked on the front.
Hiei growled. This had better not been about Yukina.
Just moments after skimming through the article, the door burst open. The three turned to see Kuwabara panting, his eyes puffy. It looked like he had been crying. "Guys..Yukina dumped me", he said sadly, trying not to break out into sobbing.
The only sounds that kept the next two minutes from being silent was the sizzling of Kurama's eggs on the oven. Soon, it was broken by a rather loud, "Ah, shit!" from Kurama. He had apparently made a stupid mistake by placing his hand on the hot stove. Poor Foxy.
Hiei felt like cheering. It would be an understatement to say that he was enthralled with the fact that his sister had seen the human for what he really is.
Yusuke looked over at Hiei, and got spooked by the demon's face: It was a happy face, one that Yusuke had never seen Hiei make before.
{Either he's really happy for his sister, or he scored.} Yusuke thought.
He discarded the thought and finally asked Kuwabara, "Is there another guy or something?"
Kuwabara sniffled a bit and nodded. "She wouldn't tell me who."
There was a bit more of a silence, until it was broken by a small knock at the door. Kuwabara, being closest to the door, answered it. He gasped. "Yukina?"
Hiei's eyes widened slightly, but he didn't let it show as he drank from his coffee mug.
Yukina saw them all, and smiled politely. "Good morning, everyone. Sorry to be a bother, but might I have left my tear gem here?"
Yusuke immediately got to his feet, and said, "I'll go check. Just sit tight. Do you want some breakfast?"
Yukina nodded, and started serving her own plate. As she walked by Hiei, she gasped lightly. "Excuse me, Hiei? What's that around your neck?"
Hiei set down his mug and looked at the chain. Not wanting her to see what it was, he simply said, "It's just a chain. No big deal."
Hiei took his coffee cup back, and began drinking it, but it was lost from his throat as Kurama came up behind him and yanked on his necklace. Hiei heard Kurama say, "Oh no, Hiei, it is a big deal. You seem to have an identical tear gem to Yukina's."
The demon spun around, grabbing his necklace from Kurama. He put it back beneath his shirt as Yukina gasped again. Hiei shot a glare at his so- called friend, and looked at Yukina. He was about to say something, when suddenly..
"Hey look, Yukina! Found your necklace! It was in the hallway in the corner", Yusuke said triumphantly.
Now it was Hiei's turn to gasp. {Damn! Now she'll know that we're brother and sister! I have to remember to maim Yusuke later.}
Yukina pointed at Hiei's chain, then looked back at her tear gem. "Wow, the same gem..how coincidental", she stammered.
Hiei sensed that Kurama was about to say something, so shot him a brief deathglare before he could speak. Damn, now he had to tell her..
"Does that mean you guys are meant for each other?" Kuwabara asked.
If Hiei had been drinking his coffee, he'd have spit it out all over the baka ningen. But alas, he had none.
Yusuke and Kurama were trying not to crack up as Yukina's eyes widened and she blushed lightly. Hiei could feel himself blushing as well. Kurama put his hands on Hiei's shoulders. "Congratulations, Hiei. You have a new girlfriend."
Hiei didn't bother holding himself back as he punched Kurama in the face forcefully. He could hear Yusuke laughing and kicked him in the shin. Kuwabara screamed and ran into his room, sobbing. Yukina looked at Hiei. "Is that true? Am I your girlfriend?"
Hiei slouched his shoulders. He looked at Yukina, and noticed that it looked like she was about to cry if he said no. His eye twitched as he grabbed the tear gem out of Yusuke's hand, and gave it to Yukina. "I think you should go", he mumbled to her as he pointed to the door.
She blinked and nodded, showing herself out and shutting the door behind her.
Hiei screamed in rage after he knew the door was closed and kicked Kurama and Yusuke once again. "You are so dead! Next time Yukina shows up, you'd better keep your mouths shut or you won't have mouths to keep shut!!"
He stormed out the door, leaving Kurama and Yusuke laying on the floor, cracking up. "Where's he going?" Yusuke asked, finally calming down.
"I'm not sure. Maybe following Yukina?" Kurama asked, stifling another laugh.
Sobs from Kuwabara's room could be heard. Yusuke and Kurama shared a blink. There was a silence but then a very loud crash. "There goes the TV", Yusuke said.
Another loud crash was heard, as Kurama commented, "Stereo system."
Yet another loud crash. "Picture from the left wall out the window", they both said.
Then, a loud screech sounded, as Yusuke and Kurama said puzzled, "His kitten?"
They ran into the room, to see no one there. The TV was on the bed, screen busted in, the stereo was on the floor, shattered, and there was a very angry ningen out on the street below yelling mean things to whoever the asshole was who hit his new Ford F 150.
Yusuke looked outside to see the guy flipping him off, and said, "Shut the hell up! That truck sucks ass anyway! He did you a favor!"
"Oh, oh, so now you're a car expert?! Come down here, hot shot!" the man yelled, scaring poor innocent children away.
"I don't have to", Yusuke said, pointing his index finger at the man. "You see? I can use my finger, too! Except I'm actually going to put someone in serious pain!!"
He fired at the scary man, and then saw nothing but a pile of ashes where the ningen had been. The crowd that had been circled around the action cheered, but the children were still afraid.
Yusuke was a very good people person. No wonder he meets so many interesting people.
He turned around, as Kurama said, "We should probably go find Kuwabara. There's no telling what he'll do if he finds Hiei."
"I know what he'll do: Die slowly and painfully. We should probably find Hiei first", Yusuke told him.
Kurama nodded, and the two jumped out the window. Yusuke landed successfully on his feet; Kurama did not. "Ow.." the demon mumbled as he lay on his face on the cement.
Yusuke helped him up, to see that it wasn't quite Kurama. He yelped. "Aah! Why are you Yoko now?!"
Kurama blinked and looked down at his arm. "AAH! It can't be now! Why now? Damn it all!"
"What's now?" Yusuke asked, a bit confused.
"Once every few months, I turn into Yoko, temporarily. It's all because of that stupid Dark Tournament."
Yusuke nodded, understanding. "Oh, like a period right?"
Kurama fwapped him. "Idiot! You don't have to just ask that in public! But, yes, that's a pretty good comparison."
Yusuke held his head as he and the fox demon ran down the street in search of Kuwabara and/or Hiei. Yusuke just hoped that they were both alive.
Wait a minute, no he didn't.
~ End Chapter! ~
Well, that was fun, now wasn't it? Would like more of my deranged insanity? Sure ya would! Just review like a good little reader, and more'll come soon!
Now..Review!
[Yiku]