Beauty and the Beast...sort of
A BTVS/DK Cross story.
Disclaimer: Don't own either franchise. Wish I did so we can bring back DK into the present after so many years since we last so these outcasts.
This is not meant to be something serious but rather my contribution to the Halloween episode that 20 years ago sparked so many stories on based on it.
You know I love my Xander and Cordy duo so if you are not a fan turn back now.
If anyone wants to continue this give me a call and we'll talk, but for all intents and purposes this is a and remains a one shot.
Sunnydale High, October 31st…
Xander knew something was afoot as he entered what was the bane of all teenagers known as High school…more so in his case given that it was literally at the epicenter to a portal to said Hell or Hell like dimension.
It wasn't until he got close to his two best female friends (Jessie forever holding the place of male best friend God rest his soul) that his danger senses went overboard.
"You ok Xander?" Buffy asks as she sees him look a tad jumpy.
"Just felt a chill crawl up my spine Buff, evil is afoot."
"O…k, and where is said evil if you don't mind me asking?" the blonde (cough Bullshit cough) Slayer asks her friend.
Xander's immediately scans the area before it settled on one bald, dwarf and bitter man known as Snyder who was grabbing random people and making them sign something.
"Oh, ok yeah I can see that, but what is he doing?" She curiously asks.
"Oh it's a tradition here, each Halloween students volunteer to escort kids around town for trick or treating." Willow provides while also feeling that Xander was right in his feelings of dread.
"Note the interesting take he has on the word volunteer." Xander quips as he is known for before his face pales.
"Oh shit I think he saw us."
And indeed the troll did do so much to their regret, now in the regular course of things that would be the end of it. Buffy and her friends would bemoan the situation and then go to Giles, Buffy's watcher, and further lament that the one day of the year the supernatural took a break they would be forced into labor…but that isn't exactly what happened.
At the student lounge…
"What just happened?" Willow asks in a confused state, something she does not really fancy.
"Well Willow, we just got thoroughly and unequivocally screwed, as in balls to the walls screwed." Xander bitterly comments, while Buffy nods while she silently fumes at the little troll's audacity.
*First I will find out where he lives, and then I will get as many eggs and rolls of TP I can find. Oh he will rue the day he messed with Buffy Ann Summers.* She thinks before taking a calming breath.
"Egg and TP his house before midnight?" She asks them.
"Deal!" Xander replies while Willow nods in camaraderie.
"Ok with that said you got any idea what to go as?"
Sadly before he could respond, someone broke in much to his chagrin given who it was.
"Oh we all know what that is going to be don't we Harris? Or should I say the so called two dollar King?"
*Murphy must be on a roll today eh?*
He thought as he faced a smirking Cordelia Chase and her entourage of sheep.
"Cordelia, what a lovely surprise, have you rode any brooms lately?" He retorts feeling proud at whipping the smirk off her before she rallied herself.
"Funny dweeb, just as funny as you'll look in another hand me down."
"Oh yes, it is truly a shame that not all of us have Daddy Warbucks for a father." Xander fires back.
"At least I can afford a decent costume."
"More like trampy your highness."
At this point several other students had come to bear witness to another verbal brawl between the self-proclaimed Queen of the school and the unofficial King of the Cretins.
"It is not trampy, it's stylish something you wouldn't know about even if it snuck up on you and bit you." Cordelia fired back.
"Hey I can pull off a decent costume, I just don't want to." Xander retorts as he stands his ground.
"More like if you could afford it." She responds with an eye roll.
"Sorry for not rolling in cash my lady, but if I did have the money I bet you I can pull one off."
It is at this point another divergence took place as Cordelia suddenly came up with wicked idea.
"Ok dweeb, you talk a big game but let's see if you can back it up." She smirked as she pulled out a quarter.
"One flip, you win I pay for a costume for you to prove you can pull it off. I win you pay for mine." She speaks out earning a shocked gasp from the congregation of students; she felt something of a thrill at that surprisingly.
Xander contemplated this for a moment, it was risky no doubt, if he lost that meant goodbye road trip fund.
"Scared Harris?" Harmony chimed in both unwantedly and snidely.
"Yeah! Don't be such a pussy." Larry also added.
Both comments lit a fire in the young man while his two friends look on with worry, that worry soon turned into panic.
"I got a better idea Cordy, one flip…you win I pay for any costume you pick and you pick out my costume, and no matter what it is I will wear it an let you take evidence that I did so."
A gasp echoed from the mob at hearing such a daring bet.
"It finally happened, he snapped, dear god he has snapped." Willow whimpered for her secret crush while Buffy blinked owlishly at the young man who clearly has lost it.
"He's a madman…A MADMAN!" The voice of one Andrew Wells could be heard.
Cordy bit her lip at that, it was a pretty bold bet no doubt but that left one question…
"And if I lose?"
"Then the opposite, I get to pick our costumes, take evidence and you pay so…" he says as he holds out his hand "…you ready to put up or shut up Queen C."
Now the ball was in her court and everyone wonder what she would do. On the one hand it could provide blackmail gold, but that was also true on the opposite end.
*Damn it Xander! Why did he have to developed a back bone now of all times? Aw hell with it!*
"Let's do this." She responds as she clasps his hand and gives it a firm shake.
"Ok we need someone to throw a coin and be impartial, any takers?" Xander asks out loud towards the student body.
"Eh I'll do it." A rather laid back young man with oddly colored hair says as he steps up and takes the coin of destiny™. Xander had seen him around with the local band Dingoes ate my Baby, Oz was his name if he was not mistaken.
"Here goes…" the young musician says as he flips the coin before catching it and placing it on the top of his hand and covering it with the other "…call it."
"Heads!" Cordelia answers before Xander could.
A deathly silence permeated the room as all waited on the result of this fateful coin toss that could spell victory or defeat for two teens. Slowly Oz pulled his hand away and a shock gasp was heard the result was revealed.
"Oh…my…God!" Willow shouts.
Later at Ethans…
"Right this way me lady." Xander cheerfully says as he holds open the doors to a despondent Cordelia.
"How could I lose?" She asks miserably for the fifth time today as she stepped inside followed by Willow and Buffy. They would be lying if they didn't feel a bit happy at the cheerleader's misery but she did bring this on herself.
"Oh let it go Cordelia, you didn't have to accept the bet you know? Besides you would be gloating over him if you had won and don't deny it." Buffy snapped at her as she felt her attitude was too much given what she would have done.
Willow agreed both because her crush dodged a bullet and to stick it to the other woman.
Xander quickly made tracks towards the costumes before the inevitable happened and Cordelia blows her top.
"Now let's see what we have to work with here." He says out loud as he begins his search to see what costumes would work for himself and Cordelia stopping only to go over costumes he finds of interest.
*Hmm Emma Frost and Wolverine, nah can't work the spandex.* he thinks before shaking his head, so he moves on.
*Han Solo and Leia? Tempting but no way would she wear the slave girl look.*
"Ryu and Chun-Li? Put this on the may…oops too late they got snatched."
Finally he came to another pair of costumes; he didn't recognize them at first but checking the tags made him smile widely.
"Someone looks happy, found what you needed young sir?" a man suddenly spoke up behind him.
"Oh jeez! Give a warning why don't ya?" The startled ten let out as he calmed himself.
"My apologies young man." The man says apologetically, or at least as much as a chaos worshiping mage can so the ruse can continue.
Ethan knew quite well who the young man was; after all he kept track of his old chum Ripper activities after that mishap with the mark of Eghyon. So this was a chance to further the chaos so to speak.
"No big, just be careful who you sneak up on, PCP gangs tend to make people jumpy." Xander replies feeling embarrassed he reacted that way to the man.
"I see, once more I apologize, oh but where are my manners Ethan Rayne proprietor of this little establishment at your service." The man says as he holds out his hand which the young man did so kindly.
"Xander, soon to be customer of these two costumes if you will permit."
"But of course my good man, allow me to get them ready for you and ring them. Though permit a man his curiosity but who is the young lady to wear the rather provocative attire?" Ethan asks in genuine curiosity.
"Tall brunette who looks like she swallowed every lemon in existence, let's just say she isn't making any bets in the near future with me." The teen says proudly.
"Ah, playing some mischief eh, a man after my own heart. Just for that I will make sure to make them extra presentable and offer a discount." The mage spoke as he thought about what to do to make this a night the two won't soon forget.
Xander just shrugged and went to get Cordelia, oh how sweet it would be when she saw her costume and had to take pictures to prove she had worn it.
"Best Halloween ever." He says not knowing the far reaching changes about to take place.
Streets of Sunnydale, after the ritual is performed…
"Ugh…" The teen, or at least the teens body, groaned as he slowly rose from the pavement.
"Oh what the bloody hell." He groans as he holds his head as he gets his bearings
*Where the devil am i? Last I recall I was with Felicia during one of her auditions.* He thinks before he opens up his senses.
"Ugh, smells like a weaker version of Makai." He says out loud in distaste before his hearing picked up another sound, one he was familiar with…hostile growling.
He faced the direction it was coming from and saw a par of small demons heading towards him. He reached towards his weapon of choice, a silver nunchaku that was given to him by his sensei, it was no ordinary one either as it was enchanted to be both durable, change size to accommodate his other form and inflict some damage on supernatural foes.
The two demons paused when they felt this giving the man time to preemptively attack them by suddenly bursting in a brilliant corona of blue flame and shoulder charge the one on the left with incredible force and launching it into a car adding the bonus of startling the other one to flee soon followed by the other one after it got up.
"Hmph clearly not Makai, as that usually is taken as an invitation to go all out." The man mused before he heard footsteps running towards him and prepared for another attack, what he got instead was a scantily clad redhead.
"Xander! Oh thank goodness I found you, listen something seriously freaky is going on." Willow quickly let out in a panic.
"I'm sorry miss but I believe you have me mistaken with someone else, my name is Jon Talbain." The now identified man explains to her as tries to put a comforting hand on her shoulder only for it to pass through her.
"Bloody hell!"
"That's what I'm trying to tell you! I dressed as a ghost and now I am one and you aren't Jon you're my friend Xander. Look at your reflection if you don't believe me." The redhead pleads as she is struggling to keep her composure.
Giving the ghost a cautious look he approached a car and look at the window.
*GASP!*
"W-what devilry is this!?" He shouts as he sees a face that is not his own as well as younger.
"See, something Hellmouthy is going on and we need to find Buffy."
"Buffy?" He can't help but ask as he still gazes at his face.
*Who names their kid Buffy? Well maybe Felicia would.* He can't help but think before they hear a scream.
"That sounds like Buffy!" Willow shouts before she takes off in that direction with Jon in tow as she did have answers and he didn't want to see people hurt by whatever is going on.
The pair soon found a frightened young woman in a dress that looked to belong in the 18th century.
"That's your friend I take it?"
"Yeah but she doesn't normally act this way." The redhead replies as they approach the transformed Slayer.
"If what you say is true and we have indeed been affected by whatever is going on than by that logic she too would be under the same effect no?" He points out getting a grimace from his companion that told him that she did indeed consider this.
*Well at least things can't possibly get any worse.* He thought before a new player appeared.
"My, my what have you stumbled into this time wolfy?" a woman with a Scottish brogue asks in a sensual and playful tone.
*Oh bollocks! Not her, anyone but HER!* he thinks as he turns towards the source and groans that his worst fears come true.
Dressed in a skin tight outfit that did nothing to hide her curvaceous form stood the Empress of Makai Morrigan Aensland who was looking at the scene with amusement.
"Hello Morrigan." He greets her cautiously as he knows enough about her to tell she can go from playful to lethal at the drop of a hat.
"Cordelia!?" Willow shouts earning the two Darkstalkers attention.
"Oh? Who is this delicious morsel you have here?" The woman in Queen C's body asks as she looks at Willow with bed room eyes that make the girl blush.
"Morrigan…" Jon chides at her as this was hardly the time or the place for her to indulge in her hedonistic tendencies.
"Oh don't be a pooper Jon, I promise to let you watch and even join in on the fun." The Succubus pouts, though she has a glint in her eyes that tell him she isn't really sorry.
"Eep!" the redhead naturally lets out.
"Morrigan!"
"Oh fine, be that way…" she huffs before turning towards Willow and Buffy "…now introductions are in order I believe, I am Morrigan Aensland daughter of Belial Aensland, current head of House Aensland and ruler of Makai." She says with a small bow in greeting.
"Willow Rosenberg and Buffy Summers…or at least that's who she is when she doesn't think herself a 18th noblewoman." The girls replies dismally at the end as her female friend doesn't recognize her at all as she too is affected by whatever is going on.
"I am not your friend; I would never associate myself with a harlot!" Not Buffy rebukes.
"Hey!"
"Oh ignore her; I for one think you look just fine." Once more Willow felt like the woman possessing Cordelia was undressing her with her eyes.
"W-we s-should head towards Buffy's house, to um stay s-safe." The blushing teen barely manages to get out before turning around and walks in the direction of Buffy's home.
Jon just gave the Empress a look that said "Really Morrigan?" before he gently led the confused Buffy after her.
"Not my fault she dressed in an outfit that's just screams fuck me sideways." Morrigan says out loud knowing he will hear her while she catches up to them.
Later…
Once they arrived at the Summers home and found it empty the group took a moment to get their bearings.
"So what you are saying is that I'm currently in the body of a west coast cheerleader? One that reluctantly aids you in keeping this Hellmouth as you call it shut? And one who dressed me after losing a bet with the boy Jon is possessing?" Morrigan asks Willow as she sat in the single person chair while Jon and Buffy sat on the sofa, with the blonde sitting rather close to him.
Apparently she did not take much amusement to Morrigan interest in ridding her of her purity and sought to us him as a barrier between the two. Understandable but frankly he just wanted this whole affair to be over and done with.
"Yes."
"Well…at least this evening is not boring, and I can still turn heads even across dimensions." The Succubus comment as she throws a smirk Jon's way.
"Why couldn't it have been Felicia I was stuck with? Her and her eccentricities I can deal with at least." Jon lamented as he rubbed his eyes.
"Oh hush now, I didn't hear you complain when we had that little romp in Edinburg." Morrigan rebutted as she cradled her face in her hands as she leers at him.
"I was drunk at the time and you know it." Jon replies despite sporting some red on his face when the redheaded ghost looked at him in shock.
"Not that drunk given how long we went at it, oh the things we did, shall I tell you in detail little red just how much an animal he was in the sack?"
"Eep!" Both Willow and Buffy went.
Morrigan giggled at their reactions before her hearing caught movement from the back door. Jon also heard but let her take the lead though his body was ready to move at a moment notice.
The intruder was the ensouled vampire Angel who came in search of answers as it was pandemonium out there on the night things should be the most quiet. However before he could even set foot in the place his shoulders were skewered by two spiked tendrils.
"ARGH!"
Out of the shadows stepped out Cordelia with teal colored air, but his senses told him she wasn't human right now.
"Oh my, caught a little rat I did." She spoke with Scottish accent rather easily and the way she looked at him was like he wasn't even a threat to her.
"He smells wrong, not human…" someone spoke, in an English tone, behind her and despite the pain he looks to see Xander Harris looking on unconcerned, there wasn't even the usual disdain he got from the boy "… but definitely undead."
"Wait! Don't hurt him!" Willow shouts.
"Bit late for that." Morrigan replies before releasing him and letting her wings resume their usual shape.
"What the hell was that!?" Angel yells as he tries to work through the pain.
"It's not them Angel, something happened to us, we dressed up in our costumes and somehow became them. See?" She says as she walks through a wall.
"What about Buffy?" He can't help but ask about his love.
"Her too, she became a 18th Century noblewoman and she doesn't have her slayer powers anymore."
"Ugh, fantastic…" The vampire snarked as he managed to get up despite the wounds "…I saw Spike rallying a group to get her, he must know where she lives so we better fortify this place."
"Well at least we will have some fun this evening, now do be a dear and tell us who this Spike is." Morrigan asks as she resumes her seat while Jon barricades the backdoor.
*I swear I will gut the person responsible for this mess.* He thinks as he heads back towards the others to hear on this latest SNAFU.
20 minutes later…
Spike had indeed come with a group of real and not so real monsters to finally kill his nemesis, despite Drusilla's warnings not to go out he felt this was too good to pass up so here he is ready to unleash some carnage.
"Oi Slayer, care to come out and play with me and my mates here?"
Only silence came as there was no sign of activity in the house.
"Well time to play big bad wolf then, alright lads have at it." Spike ordered his forces to begin the assault. However that was when the door opened and out stepped the two most unlikely of people that being the sidekick and cheerleader.
"What the hell? Where's the slayer!?" Spike shouts with anger in his tone because he wanted the Slayer not her entourage.
"Ugh he does look as stupid as they said, let's get this over and done with." Morrigan spoke with disinterest.
*If this is what passes off as a vampire in this world then I actually find myself missing Demitri.* She thought as she watches Jon remove his muscle shirt.
Suddenly his body begins to shift as muscle and bone shifted and grew as he assumed his other form.
"What the fuck!?" The former Scourge member lets out in shock as the teen transformed into what can only be described as a half man/half wolf. A werewolf the likes of which had not been seen in their world.
"Hmm, is it wrong I find it arousing when you do that?" She coyly asks as her wings flare out for the coming curb stomp, for that was what this was really, I mean none of the creatures here could take them.
"Later Morrigan, there is a lesson to be taught." The Werewolf retorts as he pulls out his weapon and throws himself into the fray soon followed by the Empress.
The battle was quick and to the point, the children who had been changed were no match for the Darkstalkers and the true demons were a joke compared to the nightmares both beings faced.
Spike had put up a fight against Jon; the werewolf would give him that at least but it still didn't save him from Morrigan dismembering him with her duplicate until all that was left was dust.
"Is it over?" Willow asks after the fight ended, quite frankly she was both in awe and fearful of both creatures skills. Frankly she doubted Buffy would last long with Morrigan, and Jon looked like a master of his art in either form.
*And what a shock was that one.*
"Too soon I say but alas the vampires of this world are clearly an inferior breed." The succubus idly comments as she removes some dust of her shoulder.
"Hmm, Demitri would probably agree." Jon adds as he looks around in case any more surprises pop up.
"Well now what then?" Morrigan asks just before a wave of energy suddenly came and both Darkstalkers collapsed.
"Oh that can't be good." Was all Willow got to say before she banished.
Meanwhile Buffy was also regaining her body as evidence as she tore off the wig she used in disgust.
"Ugh freaking useless she was!"
"Buffy? You ok?" Angel asks as he carefully approaches her despite still being wounded.
"Oh my god Angel! Are you ok?" She suddenly asks as she gets to him first.
"Sort of, but forget about me it's your friends we got a check." He responds as they were lying outside after the battle.
Buffy was confused for a bit before her eyes widened and she rushes towards the front door and suddenly stops, Angel soon follows suit as he gazes at the two who had defended them.
Xander was looking at his transformed hands in shock while Cordelia was desperately tugging at the batwings on her head in pain and distress. Both turned to look at Buffy with surprise on their features while her Slayers senses told her that her two comrades were not of the human species anymore, she summed up the situation quite nicely in just two words.
"Oh shit!"
The End.