Warning: This South Park Fan fiction story has very foul language and a great mass mockery that the show is widely known for over the years. That I don't owned or created South Park by Trey Parker, Matt Stone and Comedy Central because I write my own stories between season breaks .It is intended for mature reading if you find it too vulgar to read that you have the choice to do not read it at all or do not a give a crap at all which I hope that you will be enjoy it and laugh your ass off.
Worst Flu Outbreak ever
One snowy morning in the small mountainous community of South Park at the Marsh household in the dimmed lighted front room Stan and Shelley were fighting each others as usually to grabbed a spot on the sofa to lay on which they are both sick with the stomach flu that going around which it wiped the kids out first but now it is wiping almost the entire adult population out who haven't gotten a flu shot now. Early morning hours which it was still black outside inside the Marsh home in the dim lighted living room which both sickly Marsh Siblings are fighting over the sofa to rest their chilled and sickly form at that moment.
Shelley: This is mine turd so give it up or I will pound the snot out of you again (pushing Stan off the sofa but he hold on to the sofa cushion while trying to fight her) Aw you stupid turd now I'm going to kill you!
Stan: Oh Come on Shelley we can share this damn couch (Which their racket has brought their own mother out of the kitchen bless her soul which she stays home today to take care of her two ill young children and husband now)
Sharon: Stanley Parker and Shelley Claire Marsh knock it off now which you will wake your father up at last he went to sleep after taking some cough syrup so stop now
Stan and Shelley: Sorry mom (But Shelley pushed him off which he lands on his face) you are a fucking bitch Shelley! As he sneered at her as he walk away up to his room to go to sleep which the flu bug has prompted the closings of the local schools and cancellations of meetings at city hall and its offices curently closed today do as well to a mass call ins to illness only emergency personal stay open and untouched from the flu bug which they all gotten their flu shots.. Up inside Stan's bedroom he was on his I-phone with Kyle who is laying in his bed shaking from chills and aches now
Kyle: (Coughing very hard) I know dude my dad is very sick now and so is Ike also I heard almost the most of town is sick minus the police, Fire and Medical are not still around and Kenny got it very bad now (All sudden a sickly Ike came in which he wants to get in bed with his older brother at that moment Kyle let him on his bed) All sudden he heard Stan's dad hollering for Sharon now
Randy: Sharon!(Inside the master bedroom)
Stan: Oh God damn it now my dad is up which he is fucking annoying as hell when he is sick Kyle( feeling wants to vomit)
At Cartman's house which little sick Eric Cartman was laying on the sofa watching TV and enjoying the day off from school now which his ill mother stay in her bed at that moment
Cartman: Where the hell is that bitch for a mother of mine at. I want my Cough syrup now! (Looks pissed) Mum where the hell is my damned cough syrup Gawd damned woman (begins to cough very hard) AW my lungs hurt!
Cut to the mayoral mansion the same time in the dark master bedroom a very ill Mayor McDaniels lies in her bed trying to sleep but bodily chills and achness it was getting the best of her at the moment and left her regretting not getting a flu shot while she has been busy with the Christmas decorations fiasco .. All sudden her phone rang which it arouses her from her much-needed slumber it was the Park County Health Dept who was calling to see how many people in South Park are sick.
Mayor McDaniels: (without her makeup she looks older which you can see her age lines when she answers it and looks very annoyed too)Hello ? This is Mayor Martha McDaniels Well sir you are from the county health Dept which you are asking for stats on the flu patients in this town which I'm one of them and why you just call the Local hospital for the status update then I'm not a doctor that I'm the mayor of this town which you woke me up from my much-needed slumber good day sir (hangs up) God damn idiots can I'm be sick just like everyone else in this godforsaken town!(Lie back down)
Later that day at South Park Police Station in the large squad room which many police officers were at their desks eating their lunches and doing paperwork now and Sgt. Yates was looking for Chief BarBrady who is coming out of his office to head home to bring some hot chicken noodle soup to his wife and boss but Yates caught him in his tracks at the moment
Sgt. Yates: Chief I need to talk with you about something
BarBrady: What is it Lou?
Sgt. Yates: Sir I know that Mayor McDaniels is out with the flu now that I'm requesting more teasers and bean bag guns to our weaponry Dash
BarBrady: When she get back from being ill I will personality ask her about it, well then I'm coming home to make some soup for my sick wife now (Only few minutes later He arrived home with Tom Barton's soup and sandwiches bags in one hand has he went up to the door to let himself inside which McDaniels was her pastel green silk long-sleeved PJs still feeling cold while she was laying on the sofa with purple wool blanket covering her up) Martha I thought you are still sleep in bed well I brought some lunch like Chicken Noodle Soup and Sandwiches
Mayor McDaniels: (which she thought to herself a sandwich does not sound good but Soup does) Yuck Sandwich does not sound good to me George but that Chicken Noodle does you can have my sandwich!(She lay back down with her cup of soup)
BarBrady: Greez Martha you look horrible right now maybe you should go back to bed
Mayor McDaniels (give the finger to him) Greez George I know that I look like hell now!
Later that afternoon at the local Pharmacy which it is too crowded with large group of sick townsfolk who are getting more cough drops, tissues, Ricks Vapor rub , cold and Flu medicine at that very moment which the supplies are running low and they are getting very pissed at that moment .. All sudden a small group of South Park Police officers arrived to keep the peace and everyone in line from rioting over the stupidest shit that you ever thought about has happen in this town then suddenly all of them shut up when BarBrady and McDaniels who is in her casual clothes in a hunter green zip up fleece jacket, long-sleeved white turtleneck shirt under it and blue jeans who is still looking very rough and not in the mood for stupidity now only came there for more medicine for herself to take walk in
Crowd: We want our Medicine Now Rabble, Rabble, and Rabble! (Yelling and raising their fists in the air but a Furious and worn out Mayor McDaniels step forward to stop to keep from them rioting now)
Mayor McDaniels: Do you idiots just shut up now there are 5 other pharmacies like Ritz Aid and MelGreens in this town so don't have a fit (scream at the top of her lungs so hard that she begins to have a serve coughing attack) Awe my lungs that is it I going back to bed that I should not come out today!(Which BarBrady Help the ill mayor back to his squad car's front passenger seat and he went back into the store for her to buy the much-needed medicine to help to her sleep through the night without the violent coughing attacks which the semi sick boys walking by which the ill mayor was resting her sickly form now in her car seat they quickly notices her)
Cartman: Hey guys what guess we are going to do today to pisses Mayor McDaniels off (has the most evil smile on his face to put the mayor through his timeless tortures)
Kyle: Oh come on Cartman she is sick just like us now Ugh not today when she is not feeling not good at all she turns into a one grumpy ass bitch which she ripped everyone a brand new ass when she is sick or pissed!
Cartman: Oh Shut up Kawl I 'm don't care about your Gawd damn opinion you day walker
Kyle: I not fighting with you again fat ass uh wait a minute you are a day walker yourself via Scott Tenorman's dad is also your dad too just shut up!
Stan: For Christ's sake seriously that bull crap is getting old (doing his usual seen faceplam)
Kenny: Please guys don't wake up the mayor from her nap (mumming through his hood and that moment the chief came out with a plastic bag which their fighting indeed wakes the sleeping giant for their mayor up who look up from her seat looking a bit angry while BarBrady was looking dumbfounded at this spectacle which she rolled the window down on the squad car to scream out at them.)
Mayor McDaniels: Will you little fucking out of control foul-mouthed bastards just shut up which you all making me feel me much worse than I'm already am!
Cartman: Oh shit the grouch of South Park has awaken from her sick induced sleep now
Stan: Oh we are so sorry mayor for waking you up from your needed much sleep
Kyle: Oh let's go now guys she looks mighty pissed now (quickly run off from her sight)
Kenny: I'm hope you feels better soon Mayor McDaniels and goodbye !
Mayor McDaniels: (rolls her eyes in great disgust) Those God damned Kids they literally drive me insane George!
BarBrady: Uh come on Martha we were like it when we were younger but the kids of today are more out of control and out spoken these days now! (In the driver seat)
Cut over an alleyway the boys were walking down there which Cartman was laughing his plump face off at that moment and the other three just look at him very funny. That Kyle was just rolling his eyes with great anguish toward the fat kid whose in a red jacket and a powder blue/ yellow beanie with a yellow puff on top who have a bitter smile on his lips.
Kyle: What the hell you are laughing at Cartman?
Cartman: Well Kawl I'm happy now that Mayor McDaniels is pissed off
Kyle: You are the most evil asshole that ever lived on this planet like Hitler Fat ass!
Cartman: Well whatever Kawl I know I'm an evil asshole you dirty Jew!
Kyle: You fat asshole how many times I've told you about belittling my people!
Kenny: Come on Stan help me to hold them from fighting before Kyle beat the shit out of him
Stan: For God's sake Cartman why you have to be the biggest asshole in the world to pisses everybody off (Kenny holds Cartman and Stan holds Kyle back which they tried to get loose and go for each other's throats )
Kyle: Stan let me go now I want to punch that fat ass which I'm have been waiting to do it for a very long time
Cartman: Well then Kawl come at me bro! (Acting tough as bad ass muthfucka)
Stan: Oh no not that Bro Down crap again damn you guys you are starting to sounds like dad now (Looks very embarrassed)
At last both Kyle and Cartman has decided to walk away from the fight which they can't get a blow at each other's thanks to their two friends to keep them from beating the crap out of each others
Next few days later Mayor McDaniels was starting to feel better and she returns to her office to get the city rolling once again from the shutdown of government due from the flu outbreak that crippled the town the last few days and her two top loyal aides Johnson and Fred returns as well. But half of the city offices are still closed due to the flu outbreak now. She has decided to return to work if she stay home another day that she will completely goes insane at her desk she sit in her fancy brown leather executive chair which she was on her laptop looking at her group wise account to check any e mails that she gotten while she was out !
Mayor McDaniels: Yes, yes, yes I know there is flu bug is going around here which it is getting out of my system now, this what I'm getted for quitting smoking for my New Year resolution this year !
Johnson: Mayor I think you are doing great on not smoking now (She rolls her eyes)
Mayor McDaniels: oh just shut up do your work that I pay for you to do and tell me on city's issues
Johnson: yes madam I'm will get on it (The both aides walk out to attend work duties like paperwork which Fred pulled him to the side)
Fred: Look like we are in hell week for us all Johnson that she is withdrawing her temptation to smoke and overcoming the flu at the same time will make her into one crabby person now
Johnson: Fred I has known her for years that she only smoke when she is completely stressed out and that the fact is she is only doing it to here around her grandkids for a long time
Mayor McDaniels: (came out of her office with her black/orange Princeton Alumni coffee mug) Do I hears bitching and moaning now!
Both aides: no madam there is no bitching and moaning at all
Mayor McDaniels: Good now get to work!
Flash at the bus stop there is still no school at all again which the boys are out again and feeling a lot better busy making a snowman now at that moment BarBrady with unknown officer drove by in the powder blue/ white squad car
BarBrady: Hiya there boys are you getting into any trouble today at all (he stop the car)
Boys: No not today Officer BarBrady we are going to relax that is all for the day
BarBrady: Okay then carries on with building that snowman by day's end boys
Cartman: What a dumb ass cop I 'm that ever seen!(Thinking about his plan about bursting into city hall and take over as mayor)
Kyle: Okay Cartman what you got on your evil mind again
Cartman: Nothing concerns you Kawl, well then I working home then to watch some TV now bye then
Stan: What the fuck was that
Kyle: I'm wonder why cartman is in a big hurry for
Kenny: I think he is up to something bad now that I'm can sensed it
Later on that night at South Park Police Station the three boys came running inside the room which Sgt. Yates was sitting at his desk doing some paperwork and many genetic detectives and officers look on while at their desks
Sgt. Yates: Oh it's you three what you wants now (take a long puff from his cigar)
Kyle: Sergeant Yates we have major problem on our hands now
Sgt. Yates: like what kid (chuckles lightly)
Kyle: Once again you are making me looks like a fucking ass I sees now why the police around here are fucking useless which they thinks everything is a sick joke to them
Stan: Where the hell is BarBrady at can we talks to him instead? (Which Kenny walks into the bathroom to change into his Mysterion costume to get action started from the police which he hid his other clothes up inside a ceiling vent?)
Mysterion appeared out of nowhere before the fiery Irishman police sergeant who looks very shocked when he saw the masked mysterious pint-sized crime fighter which he stood by Kyle and Stan at that moment
Sgt. Yates: Mysterion what a great surprise to see you on short notice
Mysterion: Sgt. Yates that Fat kid Eric Cartman has something devious ups his sleeve now (But Cartman had back out on his plan at that moment which his flu medicine has kick in)
The town of South Park at last running again which everyone was feeling a lot better and heading back to work or school since the week from hell being sick all week-long only 4 deaths came from it and the real reason everyone did not get flu shot because the fear of tainted vaccines that happened over the summer. At the local bus stop the boys are there waiting for their bus to arrived at that moment all sudden they all look up and saw Butters skipping away as happy.
Butters: Bye there fellas I'm hopes you all feels a lot better which I'm
Cartman (in low whisper) Gawd why the hell we still hang around him for!
Kyle: Oh what matter Cartman your little lapdog is embarrassing you very badly which you just used him your selfish and devious needs fat ass!
Cartman: Well fuck you Kawl! (Gives him the finger)
Stan: Oh fuck not this again (have his usually seen nose pinch with embarrassment)
Kenny: Well dude I'm seen we are back to our old selves again Stan which Cartman and Kyle are trying to kill each other again (At that moment the bus arrived which the other kids were happy to see them well expect for Craig who gave them the middle finger)
Cartman: Craig you son of bitch did you gave me a fucking middle finger
Craig: Yes I did Cartman because I hate your fat ass (Gave him another)
Stan: Let's go cartman now (grabbing him to move and they sit down in the back of the bus)
Flash at City hall inside the mayor's office which the short and spiked blue-green hair petite and aging woman is seated at her desk looking a more calmer and relaxed at last after quitting smoking the cold turkey way but is on the patch to control her cravings to smoke now. Busy with signing important documents to get out the way now.
Johnson: Mayor I seen that you are feeling a lot better and calmer too
Mayor McDaniels: Well Johnson I'm feels a lot better and doing good on not smoking which I started on the patch to control my cravings now, so I can have my gold star on quitting smoking
Flash at South Park Elem. School in Mr. Garrison's class which everybody is acting themselves again that is when Mr. garrison walk in the room which they are acting crazy at that moment
Mr. Garrison: Will you little bastards just shut up which I quite enjoy my little quiet vacation from your asses
Cartman: Well Mr. Garrison we enjoy our rest without your yelling your crazy fucking bald asshole
Garrison: Eric did you call me a fucking asshole well go to the principal's office then
Cartman: yeah I know to that bitch Victoria let me guess detention again (walk out of the classroom)
Stan: Holy Shit dude (in a low whisper)
Kyle: Look like that we never left here at all!
The END