The Line Begins to Blur Chapter 1: The Line Begins to Blur, a gorillaz fanfic

Chapter 1: The Line Begins to Blur

"As I lie here and stare
The fabric starts to tear
It's far beyond repair
And I don't really care
As far as I have gone
I knew what side I'm on
But now I'm not so sure
The line begins to blur"-Nine Inch Nails

Unzip, reach in, pinch, pull out, roll, light, breathe deep.

Sigh.

This was the ritual of young Noodle. She felt her pupils dilate, her lungs burn, her heart race, her body relax.

Then pour a shot, smirnoff, jager, captain, patron; whatever.
Feel the sweet fire race down her throat, splash into an empty stomach, repeat until her vision was blurry and the room was spinning. Then she could feel good about life. She could take the sheet off the mirror and look at herself. She could run her hands along her body like he should, place a finger pad on her lips, cup her breasts; things he should be doing. Look herself in the eye and keep the tears locked up for another night.

Angrily, she ripped off her shirt, her jeans, her bra and panties and stared at herself. She had trouble focusing for a moment, and almost fell over, but soon regained her balance and stared intently at herself. She was not ugly. Quite the contrary, to be honest. He would be lucky to have her! He should know how to treat a woman like herself.

Okay, so, maybe not a woman, but he should know how to treat her anyway. There were certain things that should happen, and so far, she had not had the courage to do any of them. He obviously wouldn't take matters into his own hands, what did that leave? She must do it.

Noodle had been in her room for almost two days, and still no one had come to find her. In her mental state, someone should have come by now to fish her out of her depression. The guitarist had never assumed that she would have an addictive personality, but now she may as well consider herself a boarderline alcoholic. If you set aside the cigarettes, weed, and the shrooms; which she recently discovered were an instant paradise, everyone had a nasty habit. They weren't supposed to be addictive, but she found herself needing them to be happy, that life was even worse without them, and that she needed twice as much every time she took them.

"Oh, window to my happiness.." She trailed off because she wasn't even sure if she was thinking of the substances or of him. He was like a drug in himself, really. Forbidden, illegal, dangerous. She wanted him, so much she could die when a hug ended after she had held on a bit too long to begin with. When she was lying in his bed, against his chest and she needed to press her lips against his, roll around scratching, biting, licking, caressing, moaning and screaming; but never had the courage to do it. Following through with her fantasies could have disastrous consequences, anyway. The band would break up, Russel and Murdoc would kill him and hate her. It was best to keep her fantasies in her head, only act upon them in her mind when her door was locked and she lay awake all night, haunted by her missing heart.

The horrible thing was, he didn't even know how bad she wanted, no, needed to be with him. He was her savior, her white knight, her Prince Charming she had read about so much. Their passion would be incredible, and the taboo would be too much to bear. They could sneak off into one of their rooms at night, or perhaps the recording studio and he could take her away from the hurt, and make her forget; if only for a little while. She felt her own hand move down her stomach and imagined it was his. When she reached between her legs, she pretended it was him, when she moaned under her breath, she said his name. She imagined him whispering to her, calling her "lil'love" and promising to love her always.

In reality, who was she hurting other than herself with her imaginary games? No one, really. Noodle allowed herself the small pleasure in exchange for never acting on her feelings in real life. Disaster rang out in her subconceous as she threw her head back and moaned again.

Just as she was getting to her favorite part of her fantasy, there was a knock on her door. She was sobering up, which was bittersweet in her mind, but probably a good thing in actuality. Silently, she cursed and scrambled for a t-shirt and boxers to cover herself up.

"Lil'Love?"

Fantastic.

Fan. Fucking. Tastic.

"2D?" Came her small voice, barely above a whisper.

"'Ey! You're alive! I been worried sick 'boutcha! I even went ta tha store ta get ya some meds-

'Stop teasing me, you don't care', she thought silently. As much as she tried to ignore him, her body tingled with apprehension and suddenly panic. What if he over heard a too-loud moan?

"Dear? Ya gonna lemme in?"

She kicked her discarded clothes under her bed, padded to the door and opened it slowly. She was met with the grinning face of her fansty. He held a paper bag in one hand, and a stack of movies in another. He awkwardly elbowed past her and dropped the stuff on the floor. Turning quickly, he held an even face, even when obviously noting the half-empty bottles of liquor on the floor and ashtray filled with roaches and cigarette butts.

She hid her face, and was nearly brought to tears of shame when he sat down and poured a shot of patron for himself. What would she say if he asked? Her band mates had no idea she was doing the bad things she shouldn't be. She was only 17.

Suddenly, 2D's face broke out into a gap-toothed grin as he downed the shot and quickly poured another.

"Gettin drunk by yoself is no fun, Love. We can get a lil messed up, and watch some movies, maybe even smoke a lil bud while we're at it." He winked and motioned for her to drink the shot.

Getting drunk with 2D was risky. She knew a lot of accidents could happen while intoxicated, and even though she was still a little buzzed, she was thinking clearly enough to know better. Hesitating a second and weighing her options, she made the biggest mistake she could have made at that moment; young Noodle looked down directly into 2D's eager face. He was so wonderful, really. At that moment, she imagined running her hands through his spikey blue hair, tracing her tongue over his ear while whispering dirty things to him, pressing her body against his and feeling like he would never let her go. Hastily, she sat down and swallowed the strong tequila. Suddenly, she felt drunk; maybe from allowing herself to fantasize about him while staring directly at him, possibly from the apprehension of what may happen. And, really, how bad would it be if they let themselves have a night of alcohol induced passion?

A few shots later, 2D was obviously feeling pretty good, and Noodle was nearly falling over as she sat on the floor. Somehow, they had ended up in a position of Noodle leaning back on the palms of her hands with a leg outstretched into 2D's hand. He had somehow managed to find a marker and draw faces on the bottoms of her toes. She, in turn was drunkenly giggling up a storm and squirming at his touch on a very ticklish part of her body.

"Aha! Lil'Love! I tink I jus thought o' somfink!" 2D slurred, releasing her foot and taking a long swig from the nearly empty Smirnoff bottle. The shot glasses had been discarded three shots earlier and the pair were now just taking drinks straight from the bottle. After swallowing, the blue-haired man fell onto his hands and started crawling over her small frame.

Immediately, the hair on the back of Noodle's neck stood on end and she took a sharp intake of breath involuntarily. She was lying back on her hands and two inches from her chest was 2D's. She looked up, eyes wide, into his black dents. Still holding her breath, she could feel the electricity between their bodies, she felt that wonderful sliding feeling in the pit of her stomach, her lips were centemeters away from his own and slightly open. She closed her eyes and tilted her head, readying herself; nervous and excited and drunk off her ass. Suddenly, his hands were on her sides, his weight on her pelvic bone, and she opened her eyes just in time to realize what was happening.

He was tickling her!

She would have cried right then if she weren't laughing from the merciless attack. He was laughing along with her, childishly throwing his head back in pure delightment. His hands tickled up and down her sides, thoroughly enjoying himself until one slip of the hand changed the mood. He stopped abruptly, causing Noodle to be forced to focus on him. His right hand had landed on her breast which was covered by nothing but a thin tshirt. Before either of them knew what was happening, her body responded by itself; her little nipple hardened under his light touch and 2D made no effort to hide his interest. He lightly brushed over the delicate curve of her breast, as if testing her reaction, looking at her widened eyes the whole time.

"I'm sor-

Noodle made a bold decsion; the young girl placed her finger over his lips, narrowed her eyes and licked her lips.

"I like it."

She didn't need to elaborate. 2D tilted his head to meet her lips, grabbing the back of her head and tangling his fingers in her purple locks. She earerly accepted his tounge in her mouth, letting it explore as she moaned slightly. She decided to act on her fantasy, she wanted to fuck him. No love-making. She didn't want respect, or tenderness, just cold lust and drunken passion. Her hands took on a life of their own as she ripped his shirt over his head and nearly clawed at the exposed skin. Their tounges fought for control as their bodies grinded together roughly, rolling over each one fighting to be on top. 2D pinned her down and tore her shirt over her head, exposing a pair of perfect breasts. He stared intently at the small pink nipples standing on end at her highly aroused state. At that moment, he was sure he had never had as hot a moment as this, and he had had some pretty insane moments of sexual pleasure. He groaned roughly, and lowered his mouth to the small bud, licking and biting her, earning a string of moans and broken sylibles of his own name. She pulled his hair and ground her hips into his, feeling like she would go out of her mind with pleasure.

2D's mind was blank. He had reverted to the most primal insticts known to humans. His one thought was to pleasure this woman lying underneight him. Swiftly, he picked her up, keeping their mouths locked together, and threw her on the bed. She squealed with delight, backing herself up and blatantly spreading her legs in a very inviting way. His eyes widened, and his erection stiffened. Noodle shifted out of her boxer shorts causing 2D to do a double take at her beautiful naked body. Quickly he undid his belt, and let the remainder of his clothing fall to the floor. Noodle's eyes nearly popped out of her head, her arousal peaking at that moment.

He knelt down in front of her, pulling her by the ankles so her slim legs dangled over the edge of her bed. She gasped, but quickly settled into a rhythm of moans as his tounge invaded a very new place. She clawed at the blankets covering her matress as she felt the nearness of a feeling she had only ever given herself. When he bit down softly on her tender clit and began to flick his toung over it, she fell over the edge grinding her hips into his face, and screaming at the strong orgasm. He didn't let up, feeling much too turned on by what he had done. Instead he moved his face back and replaced his tounge with two fingers. Quickly, she fell into motion with him, but realized it was not enough.

"Fuck me, 2D."

...2D...

He looked down, shaking his head trying to unblur his vision. Something clicked in his mind, finding its way through the drunken stupor and he realized what he was about to do.

"Noodle?"

Her response was a small groan and thrusting her hips lazily into the air. Her young form a picture of perfection in his eyes. He wanted her so badly, he could almost taste her. His common sense was severly impaired, but he still thought a moment about what was about to happen.

Noodle opened her eyes, wondering what was taking so long. She sensed his indecision and felt something inside break. Even drunk he didn't want to be with her. She felt the bitter sting of tears form on ther surface of her eyes, and sat up, circling her arms around her knees as if to cacoon herself. She buried her head in her arms and squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears. Meanwhile, 2D sat stunned at the realization of who he was with and what he had just done. Noodle...sweet, innocent Noodle...and he...he just...

"Oh, God! Noodle, I'm sorry...I-I don't know what ta say..." He looked away.

She looked up, drying her eyes and putting on her best seductive expression.

"No, no, 2D-san. I love what you are doing to me...I-I want more..." she grinned wickedly and pushed him onto the floor. She pinned him down so that her pert little breasts were inches from him lips. He bit his tounge to keep it in his mouth and looked down, noticing how close the smooth plane of skin was to his dick. She moved her hips slightly against his dick, just to let him know how truthful she was being. He felt the wetness immeadiatly and fell back into his drunken state, loosing the moment of clairity and the realization of what he was doing. He as only a man after all.

Noodle didn't know what she was doing. She couldn't tell if this was a fantasy, or real life. She couldn't comprehend anything but the hands roaming her body. She was on fire, her head was reeling with the sensations of his lips and his teeth. She decided this must be a strange drunken dream and that she would wake up soon with a splitting headache and the bitter taste of dissapointment, so why not go with it?

He flipped her over onto her back and got on top of her. His dick stroked the length of her womanhood and she moaned his name, begging him to go farther. It took him a second to fit all the way inside her, but when he did, they were both in heaven. Roughly, he thrusted into her, earning loud four-letter words from his little love.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck..." she trailed off, digging her nails into his back. He nearly growled at the new sensastion, flipping her over onto her hands and knees. The new position caused a gasp from both involed, and the way he reached infront of her to caress the small bud in front of her opening made her cry out. He thrusted harder, rubbed her harder, hoping to send her over the edge again before he fell off himself.

"Love, cum for me." He urged, biting his lip to control himself. Almost as if on que, he felt her tense and grow silent for a second before she started panting. She was getting very close, but he knew he wouldn't hold out too much longer. She cried out and he felt her muscles tighten around his member. A few seconds later, he couldn't control his body and he drove into her with such force, her moans with distorted. He came soon, falling back to avoid landing on top of her. Quickly, he climbed on the bed and gathered her in his arms. She was slick with sweat, as was he, but he cuddled her to him and kissed her lips, then her nose, then her forehead, whispering all of the things that convinced her this was a dream. She smiled and laid her head on his chest, suddenly very sleepy.

"You are tha mos' beautiful girl in the 'ole world." He mumbled, lazily twirling a section of her hair around his finger. She felt near tears, never wanting to shut her eyes and wake up from this perfect world. But upon hearing the rhythmic breathing of her partner, she soon fell into a deep sleep. The first night in weeks she had fallen asleep with a smile on her face.

Noodle awoke to a beam of light conviently placed in her eyes. She groaned and rolled over, sleepily rubbing her eyes and running into something solid. She muttered under her breath and opened her eyes to see a concerned looking 2D staring down at her. The bags under his eyes were darker than normal and he looked like he hadn't slept much the night before. Immeadiatly, she wondered why he was sitting on the edge of her bed in only his boxers. His hair was a mess and there were thin red lines trailing down his shoulders and chest. She offered a look of confusion to the man and reached under the blankets. Her confusion was replaced with shock as she realized she was completely naked. Her head shot up and her eyes widened as she looked at 2D. Could her vivid dream have been reality? No...this was a coincidence...it must be very hot outside and that was why 2D was walking around in boxers. And she had fallen asleep drunk, fantisizing about him like always. He must have gotten worried about her staying in her room for so long and come to find her. Yes, there was a solution to this.

"Noodle Love...I'm s'sowy. I don't know what ta do...what I did ta ya last night...what happened..."

2D felt sick to his stomach. Noodle was just 17, not old enough to have done to her what he did. She couldn't even understand the feeling he felt for her, much less act on them. When he had woken up with her in his arms with her silky skin against his, he had never felt so complete. Her har fell over her angel face and he had selfishly pulled her close to him for a few moments before falling into reality. He was a horrible person, he felt so bad, like he had taken advantage of young Noodle. He new he was too old for her, it killed him inside to admit that, last night was a glimpse of what they could never be. He may be slow, but he knew that much. For Noodle's own good, she couldn't be with him.

Her youthful face was full of confusion. Her jade eyes filled with wonder and he could tell something was bothering her.

"2D," She started slowly. "Do you remember last night? Do you think it was a mistake?"

He chose his words carefully, not wanting to hurt her. Everything he needed to say, he couldn't express.

"Yes...I 'member, Love. 'Twas great...but I don't think it should 'appen again..." he whispered, looking away. He heard a small sob, but was too ashamed to look at her. It would break his heart to hurt her.

"Why?"

How did he answer that? He loved her, would do anything for her, and now the one thing he had wanted forever had happened and it shouldn't have. Their physical relationship should have stayed a fantasy, for the good of the band, but mostly for Noodle's own good.

"'Twas a mistake, Love. We was both drunk..." He never made eye contact with her, afraid to see the pain in her eyes. He could feel his own heart breaking as he stood to leave. 2D bent over and put his pants and shirt back on, turned around to grab the near-empty liquor bottles and threw them in a bag, all the while avoiding Noodle's face. He was almost to the door when he heard the sobs, muffled by a blanet.

"Please don't go, 2D-san." She whispered, her voice broken and numb. Tears flowed from her eyes, down her cheeks and she just left them, tasting salt in the corner of her mouth.

"I needa go..." He muttered, feeling tears come to his own eyes.

Completly out of character, Noodle stood up, completely bare yet unphased, and walked to him. She grabbed his arm and made him face her. They looked at each other for a few seconds before Noodle looked down and played with the carpet with her toes. 2D sighed, not knowing how to handle the situation. He followed his instincts and bent over to huddle her in his arms. Cries escaped her lips, but she held onto him anyway. He felt the wetess of her tears on his shoulder, and felt her small frame shake as it was wracked with sorrow.

"I love you, 2D." She whispered after awhile.

2D reeled back, letting go of her and falling to a seat on her bed. His eyes were wide and his mouth agape. He wanted to scream at her, tell her 'no, you're too perfect for someone like me. It could never work.' He wanted to tell her to go on, and leave him alone with his broken heart that only she could fix. At the same time, the small portion of selfishness in his mind told him to love her. To cup her face in his hands and make sweet love to her right there to make up for last night. They could make it work...he would be happy. But 2D was not a selfish person, and he knew what needed to be done.

"I needa go." He repeted, more firmly this time, standing to leave again.

She stood infront of him, seemingly enraged. Her cheeks were red and her fists were clenched.

"Tell me it didn't mean anything!" she challened, loosing her strong stance and expression. Her scowl quickly crumpled into that of a broken little girl.

"Noodle-

"No! You fucking tell me right now what last night meant!" She yelled, not caring if anyone else heard her. She was so overcome by emotion that she was not thinking clearly.

"I love you."

Now it was Noodle's turn to be taken aback, clearly astonished. Her face brightened and she walked towards him, trying to embrace his thin body.

He wrapped his arms around her, preparing to do the hardest thing he had ever done. He took a deep breath and buried his face in her hair.

"But...ya hafta listen, Noodle Love. Ya could neva be 'appy wif me. You're too perfect and wonderful. I can't make ya 'appy and that would kill me."

With his voice choking up, he pulled away from her and grabbed her hand.

"I love ya, Dear, but I'm too old, and I can't hurtcha anymore than I already 'ave. I'm s'sowy." Tears fell from his eyes when he stared at her astonished expression. 'I'm so sorry, Noodle, so so so so so sorry.'

2D walked o the door, slowly, fighting an inner battle against staying and leaving. He opened the door, closed it behind him and heard the load sobs. He slid his back down the door and buried his head in his lap.

Inside the room, Noodle was in her own personal hell. She sobbed until she had nothing left. She stared at the wall until her vision went blurry and she couldn't breathe. Slowly, she rolled a new joint and began to smoke it. For the rest of the day, she repeted over and over again that it had been a dream. She blurred the line between reality and fantasy. It would be best kept that way. Finishing the rest of her joint, she began to think about 2D and how wonderful t would be to be with him...smiling to herself, she took a shot of patron, savoring the taste. She held the glass bottle at eye-level sloshing the clear liquid around.

"Oh, my window to happiness..."

Reviews would be greatly appriciated. This may turn into a story if I get the inspiration...

Thanks for reading!