"Wait," Rachel Berry exclaimed, closing the door to the choir room after all the boys had filed out and trapping her remaining team members inside. "We need to talk Gaga!
Santana rolled her eyes, "Chill, Berry. We already agreed we'd work on the choreography this weekend."
"Lady Gaga is about so much more than just choreography!" Rachel scolded.
"As much as I hate to admit it," Kurt said, "she's right. We're going to need a lot more than our usual jeans and color coordinated shirts to pull of this number."
"So..." Tina started, "who knows how to sew?"
Kurt raised his hand, staring at the six girls in front of him incredulously. "None of you know how to sew?"
Quinn shrugged, "I sewed a button on one of Finn's shirt once."
"Fabulous," Kurt spat sarcastically, "if Lady Gaga had a costume consisting entirely of buttons."
"Britt," Santana elbowed her.
"Oh, right," Brittany whispered, shooting her hand up in the air and waving it wildly.
Rachel stared at her, eyes wide in complete and utter disbelief that Brittany was capable of doing something that she wasn't. "You know how to sew?"
Mercedes raised her eyebrow skeptically, "Santana has to help you tie your own shoes."
"Sometimes I forget," Brittany answered blankly.
"She's actually really good," Quinn offered. "She's the one who has been sewing all the belly panels into my glee costumes for me."
"Okay," Kurt said, shaking his head. He'd learned that sometimes when it came to Brittany it was best just not to ask. "Anyone else in addition to Homemaker Barbie over here?" They stared at him blankly and he sighed, "Then we better start early because it's going to be a very long night. Everyone meet at my house at 3:30. Bring diet coke."
Mercedes smirked, "I thought you said you didn't drink that stuff."
"Desperate times call for desperate measures."
"And this is where I made out with Kurt," Brittany explained, sitting on the couch in the corner of his room. "His lips are really soft."
"Gross," Santana groaned, folding her arms across her chest. "Where the hell are Aretha, Preggers, and Streisand?"
"Mercedes said they'd be here soon," Kurt replied, glancing at his phone to see if she'd texted him again.
"Sorry we're late," Mercedes said as she rushed down the stairs.
Tina looked at her and saw that she was alone, "We? Did you forget somebody?"
"Huh?"
"Did Rachel and Quinn finally murder each other?" She asked jokingly.
"No, I'm coming," Quinn voice came from the top of the stairs in a whine. "Lugging around fifteen extra pounds is harder than it looks."
"Fifteen?" Santana smirked evilly, "try thirty."
"Shut up, Santana. My baby hormones are making me cranky."
"She's going to be upset when she can't use that as an excuse anymore," Kurt whispered to Mercedes and she nodded.
"So, you killed Rachel then?" Tina prodded when Quinn arrived at the bottom of the stairs with no Rachel in sight.
Mercedes sighed, "Rachel's not coming."
"Yeah," Quinn added. "Major Berry family drama…" she was about to tell them all about Rachel and Shelby and what happened when they were spying on Vocal Adrenaline when Mercedes looked at her disapprovingly. She thought about how bad she'd felt when her private business had been made public and quickly shut her mouth. God, when did she start caring about Rachel Berry's feelings? Pregnancy really was making her soft. "She just can't make it."
"Alright," Kurt said, sitting down at his desk and waving them all over, "we need to decide on costumes. I'm going to replicate the Alexander McQueen outfit Gaga wears in her "Bad Romance" video, so don't even think of claiming that one." He turned on his computer and brought up a Google search window, eliciting an excited squeal from Brittany.
"Can you teach me how to do that one day?"
"What? Use Google?"
"No, turn on the computer."
Kurt blinked, "You just press a button, Britt."
"But there are so many buttons."
"Anyways," Kurt said, turning his attention back to the computer screen, "any preferences?"
Mercedes immediately spoke up, "I trust your judgment, Kurt. Don't really care what costume you make me as long as I get to wear a cool wig."
"Alright, I can do that."
"I want something sexy," Santana leaned over him and typed 'Lady Gaga + sexy' into the search engine.
"Yeah, because that's not going to bring up any inappropriate pictures," Quinn scoffed.
"She wore that black lace thing. Black lace is sexy and fierce." Tina offered, flipping to a page in one of Kurt's entertainment magazines and pointing to a picture.
Santana smiled, obviously pleased with the selection. "Can you do that, Kurt?"
"Please," he waved his hand, "can Rachel Berry hit a high F?"
"Since we're trying to find Tee a new look, I think her Gaga should be totally different from how she usually dresses." Mercedes said, pulling Kurt's laptop towards her so she could type.
Tina nodded, "basically the opposite of dark and depressing."
"BUBBLES!" Brittany exclaimed.
"What?"
"Bubbles are see through so they're definitely not dark and they make people really happy."
"That's actually really genius." Tina said with a smile and Brittany beamed at her proudly. "Thanks, Britt."
Kurt looked at her, "I think that may be the most intelligent thing I've ever heard you say, Brittany. Which Gaga do you want to be?"
"I just want to wear a duck!"
"And she's back…." Kurt remarked snarkily.
"There's no duck costume, Brittany." Santana told her gently. "She did wear that lobster on her head though."
Brittany wrinkled her nose and jutted her bottom lip out, "I don't like lobsters."
"But Britt," Santana said, linking pinkies with her, "lobsters are kind of like ducks because they live in the water too."
Her lip remained jutted out as she considered what Santana said. "Okay," she agreed with a smile after a few minutes, "lobsters are cool too. But they're still not as cool as ducks."
"Of course they're not," Kurt agreed to pacify her. "What about you, princess?" He asked, turning his attention towards Quinn. She'd lost interest in what they were doing and her back could only tolerate standing in the same position for so long, so she was lying curled up on her side on Kurt's bed as she traced lazy circles on her belly.
"What?" she asked, looking at him.
"Your Gaga costume. Do you want to hide that belly or flaunt it?"
"Flaunt it, girl!" Mercedes encouraged her. "You look gorgeous."
Quinn shook her head, "hide it, please. For just once I'd like to be someone other than the pregnant girl."
Kurt walked over to his bed and sat down beside her, "How about this one?" He asked, putting his laptop in front of her. "I can't do it in silver, but I have tons of pink fabric and I think we've got some old hula hoops in the garage to use on the body."
Quinn's eyes lit up when she saw the picture, "do I get to carry the spiky ball?"
"Sure, as long as you promise not to use it no matter how cranky your baby hormones are making you."
Quinn smiled, "It's a deal!"
"Uh, you guys," Tina said, looking at the list of costumes she'd jotted down. "Who wants to tell Rachel she's stuck with the Kermit Gaga?"
Tina and Mercedes were busy cutting out yards of hot pink and silver fabric while Brittany sewed and Santana worked meticulously to glue rhinestones on Kurt's high heels.
"Ouch!" Santana hissed, throwing the hot glue gun she was wielding onto the ground. "This is ridiculous, Hummel, I keep burning myself! If you want these stupid jewels on, you're going to have to do it yourself."
"I'm busy," he reminded her, reaching around Quinn's belly and wrapping a tape measurer around it.
"If you tell anyone that number I swear you'll meet with an unfortunate accident involving my spiky ball."
"Calm down, I'm not going to tell anyone," he repositioned the tape against her belly. "And hold still or I'll get your measurements wrong and your costume won't fit."
"It's not me," Quinn explained, "It's the baby. She's kicking."
"Aww," Brittany cooed, abandoning her project and rushing over to place both her hands on Quinn's swollen abdomen. "Drizzle wants a costume too! She can be our baby Gaga."
Quinn raised her eyebrow, "You call her Drizzle too?"
Brittany nodded, "I thought that was her name!"
"Her name isn't Drizzle," Quinn replied, rolling her eyes. "That's a ridiculous name for a baby."
"Then what is her name?" Brittany asked, palms still pressed firmly against Quinn's belly.
Five pairs of eyes stared at her waiting for an answer. "She doesn't have a name yet."
Brittany looked confused, "then how is she going to know when you're talking to her?"
"I don't know," Quinn said with a shrug.
"Well what are we supposed to call her?"
Quinn huffed, "Whatever, I don't care. Call her Drizzle."
"Hi, Baby Drizzle," Brittany beamed, poking Quinn's stomach gently. The baby kicked back in response to the stimulation and Brittany giggled in delight. "She knows her name!"
"Don't encourage her, Britt, or I'll never get these measurements taken. Quinn, make your fetus hold still." Kurt demanded.
"She gets really agitated when I'm hungry. I just need to eat something and she'll settle down. Can we order the pizzas now?"
"Sure," he tossed his phone to Santana, who was trying to make herself look busy by filing her nails. "You think you can at least handle that?"
"I think I can manage," she snarled at him. "Is one cheese and one pepperoni okay with everyone?"
"Sounds good," Mercedes answered and Tina nodded.
Kurt shook his head, "I need a veggie pizza if I'm going to justify putting that much grease into my system."
"Okay, so one cheese, one pepperoni, and one veggie?"
"Would you please ask them to put bacon on with the pepperoni?" Quinn requested, licking her lips.
"I guess bacon's okay…"
"And maybe ham, sausage, hamburger, Canadian bacon, and Italian sausage too."
Santana curled her lip in disgust, "are you sure that's a baby you've got in there and not a carnivorous dinosaur?"
"The baby just likes meat," Quinn retorted, glaring at her.
"I think it's sacrilegious for a half-Jewish baby to like pork products that much…" Kurt mused.
"All in favor of Preggers getting her own pizza raise your hand." Santana said, waving her own hand above her head. Four other hands shot up, including Quinn's. "Britt?" she asked, looking at the blonde.
"I don't know who Preggers is."
Santana rolled her eyes and dialed the pizza place.
"Kurt?" Finn said, coming down the stairs. "Did you order four pizzas for yourself? 'Cause I'm kinda hungry too." He froze in the doorway and stared at the disaster that was their room. Fabric, glitter, and jewels were scattered over every surface and everywhere he looked there was a girl from glee. "Uh, hi guys."
"Hi, Finn," Brittany flirted, waving at him suggestively. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't a little bit disappointed Santana had gotten to him first.
"We're working on our Gaga costumes," Tina told him.
"I see that…"
"You don't know how do sew, do you?" Mercedes asked, looking at him hopefully.
Quinn let out an audible snort. "Sorry," she apologized, covering her mouth with her hand.
"We've got plenty of pizza," Kurt offered, "you can stay if you want."
Finn looked at the pizza longingly. Then he looked at the girls and imagined them painting their nails and putting crap on their faces and talking about their periods or whatever it was that girls did when they were together. "No thanks," he finally answered, "I think I'll just go upstairs and watch Deadliest Catch with your dad."
"Bye, Finn," Brittany winked, blowing him a kiss. He backed up the stairs nervously, tripping up the stairs and causing the all to burst out laughing.
"I think he's scared of you, Britt," Santana said with an evil laugh.
They all abandoned their projects in favor of pizza, having every intention to return to them once they were done eating. Except that kind of never happened because it turned out that a full belly served not only to sedate Drizzle but Quinn as well, and Kurt barely had time to take her measurements before she collapsed in front of his bed with a pillow. Brittany sat behind her, working her long blonde hair into a loose French braid until she was so relaxed she was practically comatose.
"Oh my, God!" Santana yelled as she flipped through Kurt's DVD collection. "You have the Spice Girls movie?"
Damn, he thought to himself, note to self- hide that next time you have company. Scratch that- burn it. It's horribly embarrassing. "Uh…yeah…you see it was…." He started, trying to come up with a legitimate reason for owning the movie.
"I love this freaking movie!" Santana interrupted, "can we watch it?" She asked, even though she was already loading it into the DVD player.
"Hell yes!" Tina squealed.
He stared at them, trying to process the fact that both Santana Lopez and Tina Cohen-Chang were closeted Spice Girls fans. Except they totally weren't even closeted. "Alright, but we have to work on our costumes while we watch."
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Santana said, her eyes already glued to the screen. "You got any popcorn, Hummel?"
"Um, sure, I can go get some."
"And some of those double chocolate brownies your dad makes!" Tina requested, sliding next to Santana on the bed.
"Right."
"And something to drink," Quinn chimed in
Kurt looked at her, "I thought you were asleep."
She shrugged and rubbed her rounded belly, "Drizzle's thirsty."
He came back downstairs with popcorn, brownies, cups, and a bottle of Sprite (because God knows they were hyped up enough about the damn Spice Girls movie) only to find that while he was gone they'd managed to push his and Finn's beds together to create one giant bed they positioned directly in front of the TV.
"Doing a little Feng Shui?" he asked, raising his eyebrow.
"It's more comfortable like this," Brittany explained.
"It's true," Mercedes said, patting the bed beside her. "Join us."
"This is fantastic," Quinn reached over to grab and handful of popcorn without taking her eyes off the screen. "I can't believe I've gone my whole life without the Spice Girls."
Tina looked at her horrified, "You've never heard of them?"
"I've heard of them, I was just never allowed to listen to their music."
"I've got all their CDs," Santana said, biting into a brownie. "I'll burn them for you."
Rachel Berry showed up halfway through the movie, right in the middle of a performance of 'Say You'll Be There'. She stood blinking; eyes wide and confused because she was pretty sure she'd stumbled into some alternate dimension.
"Rachel!" Mercedes said when she saw her. "What are you doing here?"
"I thought I'd come help you guys work on your costumes. Did you finish already?"
Santana sighed forcefully and paused the movie, obviously less than appreciative of the interruption.
"Not exactly…" Kurt started. "We sort of got distracted."
"By?"
"Baby Drizzle and then the Spice Girls," Brittany offered unapologetically.
"Oh, okay. Well, seeing as you aren't in need of my assistance I guess I'll just be going."
Quinn's first instinct was to just let her go because she was annoying as hell and Quinn was pretty sure if she stayed they'd end up having to get back to work. But then Quinn looked at Rachel and in the light of the TV could tell that she'd been crying. It made her heart ache a little. Pregnancy was definitely making her soft. "Wait," she said, "you should stay."
"I don't want to intrude on your night. You look like you're having a lot of fun."
"Stay," she repeated. "We have brownies." she waved the plate in front of Rachel.
Rachel seemed intrigued. "Are they vegan?"
"Sure," Kurt nodded, "Vegan enough, anyways." It's not like they had any actual animals in them, and he figured that was the really important part.
"I do love this movie," she said, already removing her shoes and climbing onto the bed.
"Can you all just shut up now so we can start the movie again?" Santana asked, her tiny bit of patience quickly waning.
"You know," Rachel mused as she watched the Spice Girls on screen, "their vocals are only mediocre. We could totally do that better than them. I'm thinking an all girls mash-up of 'Wannabe' and 'Spice Up Your Life'. Maybe I'll pitch it to Mr. Schuester on Monday."
Finn stumbled down the stairs sometime later, tangling himself up in various pieces of fabric and tripping over one very high pair of heels as he tried to make his way to bed. He was exhausted and all he wanted to do was close his eyes and fall asleep. Except his bed wasn't where it was supposed to be and when he finally found it in the dark, there were people in it. There were girls in it, Santana and Brittany and Quinn to be exact. He stood awkwardly for a few minutes while he tried to decide what to do before finally poking Santana's shoulder gently. No response, so he poked her again harder and she swatted his hand away.
"Can I at least have my pillow?" he whispered desperately.
"Tired," Santana groaned. "Go away."
"Fine," Finn relented, picking up a decorative throw pillow off the floor before heading upstairs to the couch. All the while thinking that maybe Kurt had the right idea because he was the one snuggled up in bed with six pretty girls and Finn was the one who was going to spend the night on a cramped couch. "Should've stayed for the pizza," he grumbled to himself.
A/N: I don't own these characters (although I wish I did). Authors love feedback, so please leave a note and let me know what you think!