Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.
Silently I swung, back and forth. My music blaring through my headphones as I was lost in my own world. Daydreaming, of course, but what else did I really have at this point? This was where I normally go to escape my harsh reality. However, because it was currently winter in Bumfuck Illinois it was rather hard to escape reality with my fingers, face, and toes going numb in the negative weather at night. Yes, I was wearing gloves, boots, and even a scarf (that I knitted myself) but the cold was proving greater than all of those things combined. At the same time, I really didn't want to go home, I just wanted to sit there on that swingset and imagine being something greater. Honestly, I do this every day almost. Listen to my colorful library of music and swing until I decide it's time to go home.
I guess I should clarify a couple of things. I live in a small city known as Lincoln, Illinois. I'm twenty-three years old, my older sister lives with me in a small apartment about ten yards from the park I'm currently freezing to death at, I'm the only one currently working, and my name is Tammy Sherebs. I'm a little heavier set than most people my size being only 5'2.
Quietly I came to a halt on the swingset, kicking snow up as I did so, looking down at my tiny MP3 player I couldn't stop the scoff that left my mouth in irritation. The battery was running low, typical, I forgot to charge it last night. I stood up in the snow and could feel the snow slowly seep into my boots and decided it was high time to go home.
I put my mp3 player back into my pocket and walked the long way to my apartment. Within five minutes I was jogging up the long flight of stairs immediately getting winded by the time I got to the top. I lived here for three years now, and the stairs kick my ass every time. Still, I tucked my hair behind my ear and opened the door. A hot blast of air hit my face making me sweat uncomfortably and my glasses to fog up horribly.
First thing I noticed was that my sister, Julia was sitting on the pull out couch bed watching TV with her friend, Karen. Or as I like to call her: Karen 'who unofficially moved into my apartment as she's been here for a month and still hasn't left'. Now, before I continue any further I feel like I need to get a couple of things out in the open, Julia is my older sister by nine years. I don't live with her, she lives with me in my tiny studio apartment. You see my sister did some time in prison for stealing and doing hard drugs (heroin) and was having trouble getting back on her feet. Enter me, I was doing great I had been on my own for about a year and was sucked into believing that my sister had changed for the better. I was also rather lonely. So, after some convincing, I talked to my landlord into letting my sister stay with me. Long story short: My sister is a big fat liar and I'm the fool who can't open my mouth to kick her out.
I shut the door behind me and quickly kicked off my shoes. Instantly my sister perked her head up at my arrival.
"Oh, good you're home! Look I have a job interview tomorrow at the Burger King and I need twenty dollars for a cab." Julia started almost instantly.
"I can give you twelve dollars, it's six dollars to and back," I responded shedding my thick jacket off of my shoulders and throwing it on my bed.
I watched as a frown tugged at her lips instantly and she pouted. "Well, I was probably gonna get something to eat at Burger King while I was there. I'm honest to god not lying."
I couldn't help but scoff at her, she really thought I was an idiot. Dammit, I don't have a lot of money! I only have ten dollars in my account and everything I have saved up is for rent and I'm not giving into her today! "I don't have money." Again, it wasn't a lie. I really didn't and I wasn't about to dip into rent money. Her nose scrunched up in anger.
"Wow, you're really that selfish that you can't give me twenty fucking dollars? I guess I'm just not gonna get the job!"
Hold strong. Don't do it, don't give in. My mind raced before I snapped back. "I don't have the money! Are you not listening?!"
"I am listening!" She stood up now and angrily slapped her hands to the side. "This is about getting to a job interview! Just give me some of the rent money! I'll pay you back!" She shouted back at me.
Don't give in! Don't! "No. I'm sorry, I was late last month and I'm not gonna be late again." I tried my hardest to sound stern but my voice was shaking something horrible. Karen was no help as she just sat in my favorite chair and continued to watch TV.
"Wow, you are a selfish bitch, you know that! Thanks for your fucking help! I said I'll pay you back! So just give me the twenty! I promise you'll have it back after you get off work."
Don't- do you really want to put up with this? Rolling my eyes I grabbed my wallet out of my back pocket. "I expect that money in my hands tomorrow morning at six AM. Got it?" I demanded with a growl in my voice as I handed her a twenty.
"Of course." She smiled her personality completely flipping to a sweeter version. She sat down on the hide-a-bed and continued watching her show, acting like nothing happened. Meanwhile; I was punching myself in my mind for giving it. This always happens. Always. Yet every time I expect myself to stay strong and not give in, it never happens. Defeated I put my wallet back in my back pocket before grabbing my phone and checking the time. 8:49 pm. I still had thirty minutes till my ride was coming to pick me up. I unlocked my phone and immediately went to messenger.
I miss you ;^; I sent to my best friend, Candace.
Candace, god if it weren't for her I'm pretty sure I would have ended it a long time ago. She and I met in high school. I was a senior when she was a junior had just transferred and had to retake a couple of junior classes. We met in history and well, just hit off. Funny enough we both moved to Illinois in the long run. She's more upstate and on the occasion, I can see her via the train.
C: Aw, I miss you too! How are you holding up?
T: I'm living with my sister, how do you think I'm holding up?... I want to run away from my own home. How sad is that?
C: Kick her ass out!
T: It's not that easy.
It was just rapid fire texts between the two of us after that, mostly it was me bitching, but still, she listened and gave her honest response. Then at the same time as I was texting her, I pulled up Skype. I stared at the only contact that I wanted to talk with intensity.
Leon.
I tapped my phone's screen a couple of times trying to find a good icebreaker. Not that it would matter really. I meet Leon through a writing site. We both found enjoyment in a book that not many people do. A children's book made for third graders. The funniest thing is how much we both have darker themes wanted for this happy-go-lucky book about magical adventures and what not. The day we first got to talking we sent almost a hundred emails to each other, then we started talking on Skype. He was a nice guy, and I've been talking to him for about year now. Slowly I learn a little more about him. Like his real name, and other things. Now don't get it twisted, this isn't some love story or anything like that. He's a friend. Besides, I'm pretty sure he doesn't even like girls. He's nice company to have. Though there are times when our convo's die down and I'm stuck trying to break the ice again. So, sitting there on my bed thinking until I finally found something to start with.
So, I was thinking, if Atti could turn into an animal they'd probably be a crow.
Atti Nell. My OC for the book we both love. I love this OC of mine and written them into every fanfiction of mine so far. I think at this point Leon has gotten sick of it because his response was rather funny.
It has now been 0 days since Tammy mentioned Atti Nell!
I couldn't help but chuckle softly at my phone. Silently I typed him back.
T: I had to get your attention somehow. Whatcha doin'?
L: Nothing much, you?
T:... I gave my sister some money.
L: Seriously? Again? This is like the 4th time this week!
T: I… I'm not strong-willed. I'm like Trevor in the story, I can be broken so easily by so many. She keeps guilt tripping me and I just can't… I can't say no.
L: Trevor stood up against his abuser You keep letting yours push you down. You have to stand up to her before it's too late. Anyway. I'm getting ready for bed, I have work in the morning and school afterward.
Instantly my head snapped towards the time on my phone thinking it was time for me to get going, but I relaxed once I saw the time. 9:15 PM. I could only sigh out and reach into my coat pocket to pull out my pack of smokes. I rattled the box a little, mainly out of instinct. It was getting low I was gonna have to buy a pack at work it seemed. I didn't have enough for Julia to take, but I did have just enough money in my account to get me a pack of smokes. I know my priorities are messed up, but I just cannot put up with my sister and cigarettes help quell the urge to smash her head in. I opened the back and took a cigarette out, placing it between my lips I lit it up before relaxing just a little bit more.
I did have one thing to look forward to tonight. I loved the midnight shift, that's no joke, 10pm-6am in an empty gas station with only three other people? Perfect. It's never busy so I mostly get to dick around with the other coworkers, of course, I do prep work and stuff that needs to be done, I know how to spread it during the night. I got up from the bed to walk over into the kitchen where an ashtray sat on the table. I simply flicked my ashes into the tray before snubbing the cigarette out. I then made sure to tuck my shirt into my khakis for work.
Nametag? Check. Belt? Check. Keys? Wallet? Phone? Check. I was all ready to go. After brushing my long hair and placing it into a ponytail Julia must have sensed that I was ready to walk out the door before she looked away from her show to watch me grab my jacket. "Thanks again for the money, Sis! I don't know what I'd do without you!" She made sure to rub it in with a smile on her face and happy chirp in her voice. I didn't respond, I couldn't bring myself to respond, it would only cause a fight. So, I put my jacket on and walked out the door. Quietly I went down the steps and waited patiently outside for my ride.
Oh, yeah, I don't drive. It's too nerve-wracking, so for $50 a week I pay a woman to regularly take me too and from work. It's a nice set-up we got going on really.
I can't afford shit, I can't bring myself to say 'no' when it's needed, I just want to get away from here. I really just want to run away for days on end and be free… but what are the odds of that happening? I'm too scared to run away and where would I go? Florida? I don't think dad would take me in so kindly. I mean he loves me and I love him, and my stepmom, and Jackie, but they have enough problems. Plus, I'm giving up on my job, which I've worked hard at and make good money. I think it's best I just stay put and be miserable… maybe a miracle will happen one of these days.
The first thing I always do when I get to work on the midnight shifts is immediately clean the hot dog cookers. That normally takes about ten, maybe fifteen minutes, but it seems tonight was just going to kick me in the ass. Both hot-dog cookers were heavily soiled to the point that I actually had to let the burnt on cheese and hot-dog skin in degreaser for about ten minutes before scrubbing it as hard as I could. Then, of course, I called up front halfway through cleaning. My coworker had to use the restroom, of course, they did, this happens every time I'm on shift. So, that didn't help my attitude a bit. I slammed the bucket of hot soapy water down in the kitchen of the subshop, where I'm stationed at, and ripped my oily gloves off of my hands before throwing them in the trash can and storming back out. The thing is, I know this attitude and behavior is insanely childish, but it always happens, which ticks me off even more.
"Go. Make it quick," I told my coworker as I ushered them out from behind the register. I really did have better things to do and this was just wasting more time than I had to give. So, I stood there with my hands on my hips, staining my black shirt white with the powder residue from my gloves. I've stopped caring about that after a while. My coworker came back after a few minutes and I was gone. I grabbed fresh gloves and snatched the bucket of water back and just continued to angrily scrub at the hot dog residue. Finally, after forever I got them clean enough to put the cooker back together and get fresh hot dogs going. My eyes drifted to the clock on the wall, it took a whole hour to complete that task. I could only shake my head hopefully that was the hardest task for tonight.
Shoving a freshly delivered doughnut in my mouth, I licked my lips to get rid of any unwanted frosting. I love the jelly doughnuts we sell here, but they're best when you get them fresh, at two am when they get delivered and that's one of the best perks working here. I can get a doughnut for sixty cents and the Jelly doughnuts have cherry jelly which makes it even better. Taking another bite, I looked at the clock on my phone. 2:10 am. A little under four hours to go and nothing to do now. I completed most if not all my prep work. So, now I had a little bit to relax-
"Sister."
"Nuh-uh…" I audibly spoke up as I stopped eating my doughnut and turned to see my sister standing at the kitchen window. I walked up to the window and put my hands on the prep table in front of it. "What?"
"Look… I went out to eat with Karen and spent the twenty dollars… I need another twenty."
"No fucking way." I spoke each word as slowly as possible.
"Look, I can get the money back by six! I just… I need it-"
"No! I gave you money!" I spoke a little louder now. Lower your voice… my thoughts told me. I listened to them before I got unwanted attention from other coworkers. "It's not my fault you spent it." I told her quietly before storming away. I left the kitchen to check on the hotdogs, still, it wasn't in my sister's nature to back down. She knew weakness and fed on it.
"Just give me a twenty, okay?" She asked quietly as she got close to me while I was inspecting the hotdogs and brats.
"No."
"Stop being selfish-"
"I'm the selfish one! Ha!" I laughed at her, oh god, I actually laughed at her as loudly as I could despite my thoughts yelling at me for doing so. "Oh, that's a good one!"
"Do you want me to get a job or not! Just… give me another twenty…" She hissed the last part of her sentence quietly towards me through clenched teeth. For a moment I wondered why she whispered, then I looked over my shoulder and saw my coworker for the diesel desk, which was only five feet away if that, looking up from her phone and over at us. More importantly, I saw an escape.
"No. You spent it. I'm not your bank," I snapped back quietly at her as I started walking towards the office. Suddenly my arm was grabbed and my sister gave me a creepy smile, she knew what I was trying to do, I could tell just by looking at her, and I knew if she got me alone she'll con another twenty dollars from me.
"Let's talk outside-"
"No. I'll stay in here, I have a job to do."
"It's dead as a doorknob, come on, sis, you can talk outside for five minutes-"
"I said. No!"
Maybe it was because I knew I had coworkers around me, or maybe because I was in a 'safe space' so to speak and that I had more power over here in this truck stop, but I felt braver and stood my ground.
"Stop being difficult!" She yelled back at me. "Just… come outside, I want to talk in private-"
"Leave." I snarled at her. Every fiber of my being was screaming at me for doing this. I knew I was going to regret what I was saying the moment I got home. I do live with her after all.
"What?"
"..." I couldn't speak. I felt frozen, it was like I was standing in front of a dangerous animal. I just wanted to get away safely.
"Goddammit! Fucking forget it! Thanks for the fucking help! Fuck you!" She gave up screaming the whole way as she stormed towards the back door, where the truckers parked. I stood there shaking horribly. For a moment I wondered if I had actually done it if I had actually managed to stand up to my sister. When I turned towards the diesel desk and realized what really scared my sister off. My coworker had the company phone pressed to her ear and seemed to be ready to dial the cops. Of course, she was only two feet away now and heard the whole conversation. I only shook my head at her. "Don't," I told her softly.
"You sure, sweetie?"
"They can't do anything."
So, she hung the phone up. I looked towards the front of the store. Of course, the UT and Gas desk person was also there. So, the whole store probably saw the whole thing. Or, they at least heard her cussing. Either way, I was getting a headache, I was mad, and I wanted a cigarette. Without saying a word to anyone I promptly turned, walked into the kitchen, grabbed my fresh pack of cigarettes and made my way outside. There wasn't a trucker insight, of course not, it was too cold for that shit. Even the other parking lot next to ours was empty. I knew it was fine and I was safe from my sister from the messages on my phone. There were about twenty new messages by the time I had walked out into the freezing cold to enjoy my smoke. Basically, my sister was calling me every foul name number the sun. Finally, I just shoved my phone in my pocket.
"Fuck you…" I huffed out in my own anger. I do all this shit for you, I give you a home, and you just shit on me… My nose was already turning numb from the cold and I wasn't even 1/3rd of the way done with my cigarette yet. I shivered and shook, cursing myself for not bringing my gloves out in my anger. Now, I was getting angry over not having my gloves, I was just a little fat ball of anger tonight it seemed "Stupid winter… fuck you, winter!" I yelled to the sky as fresh snow started to fall for the night making sure to give it the bird.
I can't even fathom what happened next properly. Something fell from the clouds. I thought it was a bird at first, but I realize that it was way too large to be any kind of bird. All I saw was silver. I giant mass of silver go crashing into the empty parking lot next to ours. It kicked up a mountain of snow in its wake. I just couldn't process it in my mind. What was it? From where I was standing I slowly, step by step walked forward. Crossing our parking lot, out of the camera's view. My manager is going to wonder what I'm doing…I dumbly thought with my half-smoked cigarette clenched tightly in between my trembling lips. Still, despite my thoughts, I walked closer and closer to the thing that landed. Should I call the cops?
It was massive, like, I stood next to semi's before, this was probably two semi's big. Then, I heard it, a voice. A female's voice. "Well, that landing could have gone better!"
It's a plane! A plane from the sky! Yes, I see it's wings! And it's… tail… and it's head… is it… in the shape of a dragon?
Then the 'plane' moved it's head up. "I agree! Are you alright Sorrel?"
My cigarette dropped in the snow as my mouth fell open. An audible gasp leaving my mouth while my cigarette sizzled out in the snow. Instantly the actual, literal, honest to god… dragon was looking at me.
"Oh… this is bad…" The female voice spoke from the other side of the dragon. I could only watch in stunned silence as… what I believe to be, a furry came out from behind the dragon. She wasn't that much taller than I was, her ears gave her a little extra height above me, but still! She was all brown with yellow polka dots all over her fur and she was talking actual words at me.
I was so stunned that I didn't even feel cold anymore. I could only stand there with my mouth open. I am seeing this right… that's a dragon? With a furry…
"Oi! You, human! You have a name?" The furry asked me.
"... T...Tamm… Tammy- don't eat me…" That's the only thing I could think of at that moment to say. This wasn't making any sense. It just wasn't.
"Okay, Tammy Donteatme! You saw nothing! Understood-"
"Sorrel wait… maybe she can help us…" The dragon spoke calmly to Sorrel as he turned his attention to me. I still couldn't bring myself to move from my spot. Every inch of me was screaming to run away from the giant dragon and furry, but I couldn't move. Maybe I was literally frozen in place from the cold weather- "Tammy-"
Nope. I found out I wasn't frozen in place as I suddenly collapsed to my knees. The snow soaking into my thin Khaki's as I sat there.
"This is… not happening…"
"Tammy, please focus. Are we in Florida?"
"Florida? Psh. No." I scoffed to them as feeling starting to come back to my body. Was that the magic word for me? Florida? I didn't know, but I was now less in a stupor as I found myself chuckling a little. "It's too cold in Florida… You guys are in Illinois." I told the dragon like he was just an ordinary truck driver looking to see where he was.
"Where is that?" The furry demanded as she yanked a piece of paper out of a bookbag. I found myself looking more at the bookbag than the furry. Pikachu was the bookbag I wondered if she stole it. Suddenly a map was thrust in my face.
"Where is this Illinois, we're close to Florida, right!?" She almost sounded desperate. My eyes darted from Sorrel to the dragon. The dragon was looking at the map as well, wanting an answer.
"Uh. well, this is Illinois-" I pointed to Illinois on the map before trailing my finger down to the end of the map.
"And I hope you know that Florida is waaaay down here."
"Death caps! Okay! Fine! I can't read a map..." Sorrel huffed out in anger.
"Sorrel! I knew we should have brought Barnabas along… We don't have a lot of time to waste…"
I was completely and totally numb from the waist down at this point. I couldn't move my fingers and my Khaki's were soaked. Yet still, I stayed put to just say something has nothing to do with nothing. "My dad lives in Florida. He likes it there, it's a lot warmer… You can't be here."
"We don't want to be here-"
"No, I mean!... I'm dreaming right! This… a dragon? You just… cannot be here! This isn't real!" I finally spat out in my confusion as the reality started to set in for me. These creatures were really in front of me. I wasn't dreaming, I knew I wasn't because the coldness started to get to me. My body started to shake terribly and I was beginning to feel dizzy. Slowly I shakily stood up and looked at them as they looked at me with equal curiosity. I really didn't know what was going on in my mind at this point. I was just drawing blanks.
"I can assure you, Ms. Tammy, we are very real," The dragon told me softly. To prove his point he breathed out through his nose on me. His breath was warm and welcoming as I was freezing something horrible. My eyes shifted towards Sorrel, she was rummaging around the Pikachu backpack now, clearly lost in what she was doing. "You guys… if you are real, you have to leave!"
"Found it!" Sorrel yelled out before jogging up to the dragon a small vial of some sort of liquid in her tiny paw. "Hey, can you read a map?" She asked me as she opened the vial. I watched as she poured the drink into his open maw. The question seemed so surreal to me as I watched the two of them.
"I-I can." I stuttered against the cold as a gust of wind went rushing past me at a high speed.
"Okay, I don't want to do this, but… can you show us which way to go?" Sorrel asked me as she showed me the map once again. I wanted to; I wanted to so bad. But I just couldn't move anymore. My fingers were so cold that I couldn't even wrap them around the thin paper. So, I looked down at my numb fingers they were white. Now I'm generally pretty pale, but this was unhealthy levels of white.
"I-I'm s-so cold…" I shivered out violently. My whole body was shaking and I couldn't even think properly.
"This is bad, Firedrake-That's worse! Another human just came out of the building-" Sorrel gasped out loudly.
"Pr-Probably Jared, He has to…. C-clean out the…" I tried to explain, but my teeth were chattering so bad that I'm sure my words came out as a garbled mess.
"Get her on my back!"
By this point, I had no idea what was going on, or what really happened. All I knew was that I was cold. Then, I suddenly felt warmth reenter my body. I was slowly coming back to reality, it was like I blacked out with my eyes open. Now, I could see. I was sitting in front of a bright blue fire, my glasses fogged up from the mixture of cold and heat in the same small space my hands were already out in front of me as I wanted nothing more than to warm them. They felt like they were on fire as the warmth completely overtook my cold fingers.
"Feel better?" The dragon asked me as he poked his head over my shoulder.
"A-A little… where are we? Are we still in Lincoln?" I asked Firedrake as I looked up at him. I honestly couldn't see anything past the bright blue fire and I didn't care.
"We only flew a little ways away from where we found you," Sorrel answered for Firedrake as she was nibbling on a root of some kind, I didn't want to know. I moved my bulky jacket a bit to get as much warmth as I could into my cold body. "So, if you could read this map for us and we can be on our way-"
"You're not just gonna leave me here, are you? I have to be back at work, I mean I've been missing for-... where's my phone?" Instantly my hands moved frantically from pocket to pocket. Wallet was in the back, cigarettes, and light in the front, but my phone wasn't in any. My hands went to my jacket pockets, nothing.
"That weird square thing?" Sorrel asked.
"Er, yeah, the weird square thing!"
"You dropped it when we got you on Firedrake's back."
"What?... fuck man!" I ran my fingers through my hair before suddenly being struck with a thought. 'Maybe…' I looked up at the two of them. "Can I see the map now that I have feeling in my fingers again?" I asked. Sorrel took it out of the backpack and handed it to me with a shrug. Unfolding it, I sat beside the dragon. "You are here." I pointed to the middle of Illinois. "Where in Florida do you need to be?"
"The south-west part. We need this flower-" Firedrake started to explain and instantly my mind was spinning with excitement.
"Are you kidding me?! I use to live in the south-west!" I couldn't stop from yelling out excitedly. "Duuude! I can help you guys!" I jumped from my spot a little so I could face him more clearly. Sorrel gave the dragon a worried look before looking back at me a little more cautiously. It was too late, I was excited and there was no stopping my mouth. "You don't understand! I live in Florida for m-m-m-m-" They where now looking concerned as I just couldn't get the word out. "-M-most! Of my life! More specifically the south-west. I can show you where to go! Plus! I can help read the signs."
"Signs? What signs?" Sorrel with a pout on her
"Well, for starters, I know cities. For example, if we get to Tallahassee-"
"Talla- what now?"
"Tallahassee. It's the capital of Florida, if we're there we're not in the south-west. If we're in Miami we aren't in the south-west. Are you getting it now? You need someone who knows where is where. Besides, you also have to cross into three different states to get to Florida. See? It's faster if you cut through Kentucky, Tennessee, and Alabama to get to Florida." I pointed to each state on the map. Sorrel's ears folded back as she seemed more than confused about everything with every passing second. "You're gonna need someone, me, who can point you which way. Also, if we got lost, I can easily talk to someone and ask where we are. So? What do you say?"
"One moment please?" The dragon asked of me, I nodded and crawled closer to the fire. I could hear them having a whispering fight with one another.
"-you can't be serious about bringing her!-"
"I am serious, Sorrel. She has a point on all fronts-"
"-Oh, Death caps! We can't just invite every stranger we meet along for the ride, You know this!"
"Sorrel…Ben's life is hanging by a string right now. We need all the help we can get…"
'Ben? Now, that doesn't sound like a mythical creature to me.' I thought. I heard Sorrel sigh in defeat and instantly I tried to make it look like I wasn't eavesdropping on them by bringing my hands out by the fire to warm them.
"Tammy, we've decided that it's probably for the best if you come with us," The dragon told me softly.
"Yes! You won't regret it! I promise I'll help in any way that I can!" I yelled at him as I suddenly hugged the dragon around his mighty neck. Firedrake chuckled while Sorrel gave a bitter.
"Bah! I don't like it! Not one bit, but Firedrake wants you with us!" Sorrel threw her arms up.
"Firedrake? That's your name?" I asked him, he nodded at me and I smiled brightly at him. "Well Firedrake, I'm Tammy Shereb and I'm glad to be helping you!"