His desire had steadily grown over the period he'd gotten to know his master, not just because of the fact that he'd been able to 'touch' Aoba in the way that humans did, but he grew to love his master very much. Aoba was very kind, more and more he found himself in his master's company, whether through Aoba visiting, or he going to see him. His favorite part of visiting, was though he didn't always understand, he did his best to hear out the questions Clear had about life and death. It had taught him a great deal of things, how humans perceived that when they died and discarded their physical bodies, what they called a 'soul' or life essence, moved on. While the body decayed, they were free to move on into a realm of paradise with their creator. Some, who were evil, did end up in what Aoba had called 'Hell' as opposed to the promised land of 'Heaven'. "Why can't all humans go to heaven..would it not make those who were bad in their lifetimes even more angry at their creator?"
Aoba didn't know how to respond at first, it was definitely a question that needed a great deal of thought. "Because..rewarding bad behavior won't make you stop doing bad things, would it?" he asked, "You wouldn't learn, and just do them over and over again." but there was a contradiction to this, "Sometimes..you do what you have to do, and though it could be looked upon as 'bad'..it's up to whomever is waiting to judge."
Clear nodded, doing his best to understand the concept further. "But Aoba-san, you don't punish me when I do bad things. You talk in a calm manner, to let me know I've done wrong, and I do my best to correct it." even when he'd beaten up those thugs, Aoba had scolded him only very lightly, though he was on the verge of killing them. But he had managed to brush off the topic.
Aoba nodded, "Because you're different, Clear." he said, "If I yelled at you..or threatened some kind of punishment, I wouldn't be a very good 'master' would I?" maybe he was a total pushover when it came to Clear, in general. It had been odd, that Clear still used the label of 'Master' for Aoba, instead of 'lover' or 'boyfriend'. Maybe he just didn't know that that's what humans called someone they'd done intimate things with and both reciprocated each others feelings.
Clear shook his head, "Aoba-san is a very good master." he didn't even entertain the idea for a moment. "I couldn't think of a better master." even his grandfather couldn't compare to Aoba, it was a strange thing to find someone you put over a beloved family member. Aoba was someone very precious, that Clear always wanted to protect above all else. His master was just that kind of person, even if he didn't realize it.
"Well...thanks." Aoba rubbed the back of his head, smiling softly, feeling somewhat embarrassment over that statement. "Are you sure there could be no one better?" he still felt a little bit insecure about the whole situation, it was embarrassing to talk about, but he did want to make sure he and Clear were on the same page about things.
"Yes." Clear nodded, "No one is better than Aoba-san as my master." he paused again, looking to the stars, smiling, before glancing back at Aoba, his curiosity will still at its pique, "What is the hardest thing to endure as a human?" as he'd asked that, his hand reached for Aoba's hand and interlocked their fingertips.
"You've really been thinking these through.." Aoba again was stumped, though touched about what Clear had said. But, eventually the answer found him. "For some people it's the emotional turmoil, they cave beneath it because some people can't deal with their issues. Not everyone can, especially when they try it alone, some people get depressed..or angry and some people decide that..." he glanced at Clear, before wording it the same way he had when speaking about his grandfather "sleeping is better then continuing on."
Clear was on full alert at the last statement, "Aoba-san won't go to sleep, will he!?" he asked, latching on to his master, "Right, Aoba-san?" he was so distressed that he hadn't given Aoba any time at all to respond.
"I don't plan on 'sleeping' for a very long time, Clear." Aoba didn't know how to comfort him, but he did try his best. He returned the 'hug' that Clear had started, and stroked his hair, not knowing if it offered any sort of comfort to him, but he did it regardless.
"I don't want Aoba-san to fall asleep, I want to be with Aoba-san for a very long time." Clear didn't want to think of the time that Aoba would die, because he'd once again be alone. Without his master, he wouldn't know what to do with himself, he didn't think he could possibly find someone else to love like he did his master. And, he could say it right now, there wasn't another human being on this earth that he wanted to be intimate with in the way that he was with Aoba.
"Alright." Aoba smiled, though blushing lightly at Clear's desire to always be with him. "I can't promise you something like 'forever', because you'll outlive me by a few lifetimes I'm guessing. But, I'll promise you that- as long as I'm living, you can be by my side." he tried to be reassuring, since he'd caused Clear an obvious amount of distress by his careless comment. He'd have to be careful, because Clear did tend to take things very literally.
"Thank you, Aoba-san!" Clear smiled, feeling more at ease. Aoba very likely had decades before his 'sleep' was coming, but such a short manner of time could disappear in the blink of an eye.
"Are you going to stay the night?" Aoba asked, changing the subject, but continuing to smile at Clear's antics.
"The thought never occurred to me." Clear blinked, "May I, Aoba-san?" he asked, locking his eyes with Aoba's for a moment, he knew he didn't have to ask at this point, but he did nonetheless. It felt odd, to be informal at all toward Aoba, even after their sexual encounter upon his 'death'.
"Of course." Aoba nodded, "You don't have to ask, you know?"
"Wouldn't it be troublesome if I just showed up, and never bothered leaving again?" Clear asked with a child-like curiosity, Aoba's invitation seemed to imply he'd never have to ask. But Tae would definitely have something to say about that.
"Maybe." Aoba shook his head, grinning, "You knew what I meant." he nudged Clear gently, "Grams probably expects you to stay over every now and again, anyway so it shouldn't be a problem."
"Maybe you could stay at my place, sometime?" Clear offered, he found it only natural to invite Aoba, "Perhaps Tae-san, as well?" he didn't want to show up whenever he wanted, without repaying the favor in some way.
"I don't know if Grams would do it, but you could try to invite her." Aoba nodded, "I could stay over, sure. It's not too far from work, so it's not that big of a deal." he added the last part as a bit of an 'excuse' to stay over. He already knew his grandmother wouldn't care if he did, but it was embarrassing to say he was staying over at Clear's. His actions hadn't exactly hidden how he felt toward Clear very well, in the year that he'd been repairing him with little to no success.
"I'd like to." Clear nodded, sitting beside Aoba once again, "Maybe she'll like my cooking, just like Master does."
"How come you switched back to 'Master' all of the sudden?" Aoba asked, it wasn't irregular, or anything, it just caught him a little off guard. He was happy regardless of what Clear called him, but hearing his name..added a layer of intimacy that 'Master' seemed to be lacking.
"Preference?" Clear asked, thinking back to the time he'd asked Ren about such things. "Is it no good?"
"No..it's fine." Aoba shook his head, "Call me what you like."
"Okay, Master." Clear smiled, "Aoba-san." there definitely was a discrepancy between the two titles that he called Aoba, but why did it matter one way or the other what he called him? So long as they were together, nothing else should matter, right? Aoba just reacted differently to either or, even if he didn't say so.
"Huh?" Aoba asked, confused on why he now used 'both'.
"Which is it that you prefer?" Clear asked, but he knew that 'Aoba-san' definitely won it of the two.
"Whatever you'd like to call me is fine by me." Aoba smiled, truth be told, they both held a bit of nostalgia for him. When they'd first met, being called 'Master' only by the strange white-haired boy who refused to use his name, thinking he was beneath Aoba. And, then, finally, while on the verge of death he asked to call him by name.
"Are you sure, Aoba?" Clear dropped the prefix this time, he leaned over to Aoba, studying him closely this time, his voice had taken on an oddly serious tone. He was waiting very patiently for Aoba's reply.
"Yes." Aoba nodded, he had hesitated for a moment, only because Clear was being eerily serious in the moment.
"Aoba it is, then." Clear smiled, he noticed Aoba yawn, and began to hum his jellyfish song, before finally serenading the night with his words. To his surprise, he was shushed by Aoba. His eyes questioned, because his mouth couldn't.
"I don't want to fall asleep yet, Clear." Aoba clarified, "Your singing..always puts me to sleep, because it's always so beautiful." he removed his hand, though he said he didn't want to sleep, his eyes were beginning to shut, as his head propped up against Clear's shoulder.
"I see." Clear continued to smile, "But you're falling asleep, Master."
"No I'm not." Aoba said stubbornly, as he opened his eyes and tried to stay awake, to fight the sleep.
"My mistake." Clear chuckled lightly, "Please, continue to sit with me, then. I'm tired." it wasn't exactly a lie, he did feel the need to sleep, but he just liked to watch Aoba. In case he didn't wake up, it was a terrifying thing, to not know if his master would wake up or not.
"Sure.." Aoba agreed, sleepily.
Clear began to hum the song once again, not hearing any protests from Aoba, seeing him sleep was an interesting thing. "Sleep well- but not forever, Aoba-san." he lifted his master easily and gently, before bringing him inside and placing him on the bed. He shut the door and promptly locked it, before choosing to sit and or sleep on the floor. Aoba wouldn't mind at all, if he decided to sleep in the bed with him, he'd most likely prefer it, but Clear would be too distracted by Aoba's presence to sleep. Clear.. his ears perked up as he heard his name, "Master?" he asked, before seeing that Aoba was definitely still asleep. Dreaming of him? He began to sing gently to Aoba once again, seeing the peaceful look on his masters face made it worth it.
A short and sweet fanfic. I watched the anime/game, so it's a bit of both, actually.
-Rachel
