How do I get myself into these situations?
It's Kidd's fault. He passed out from an asymmetry overload and Liz dragged him home, leaving me to look after his hyperactive weapon, Patti.
"Come on Hakase!" She squeals. "I need to find a pretty dress to wear to the dance!"
I groan. Dress shoppong? There are several things I'd reather do. Like dissect this child and find out what's wrong with her brain.
"STEIN-HAKASE!" She chirps loudly, shaking me from my throughts.
"What?" I inquire, twisting my screw slowly.
"Are YOU going to the dance Hakase?"
"Unfortunately" I reply. "All staff has to be present to make sure you kids behave."
"Aww...You make it sound like such a hassle!" She says, wagging a finger in my face.
"It IS a hassle." I retort. "I have no interest in...festivities."
"But won't Spirit-san be there?" She says slyly, pulling on my sleeve.
My breath hitches slightly and I begin twisting my screw nervously. "W-why would I care?"
"We can see everything Stein-Hakase. You may be able to fool the male students and teachers, but us girls know better. I know you've got eyes for Spirit."
Her revelation startled me so much I almost acccdentally pull my screw out of my skull. "Gyaaaa!" I screech, pushing it back in. "S***, that hurt..." I say, wincing.
"HAKASE SAID A BAD WORD!" Patti shouts, smacking me across the back of the head.
"Gomen" I say, uncaring, and light a cigarette.
"Stein-Hakase you can't smoke in here!" She screeched.
I frowned and put it out.
"If you don't behave and be a GOOD PERSON, I'm going to make YOU try on dresses."
I sweatdrop. That would be terribly embarassing.
"Fine. I'll 'behave'" I say, punctuating the word 'behave' with air quotes.
She pulls me by the arm towards the dressing room, where's she's already begun amassing dresses.
"You're going to try ALL of these on?" I groan.
"I have to find the perfect one!" She chirps happily.
I stand outside the dressing room while she changes into the various dresses, occasionally entering to awkwardly help her zip up the backs and tie the bows.
"Which one did I look the best in Hakase?" She says beaming.
"hnn... the blue one" I mumble, twisting my screw. "With the poofy bottom".
"YAY! Me too!" She squeals. "Now can you help me clean up?"
I survey the dressing room. All of the dresses she had discarded are on the floor. "H*** no!" I say, backing out of the room"
Stein-Hakase swore again! AND he was mean to Patti" She screeched, fire burning in her eyes.
'Oh crap'I think. 'I've done it now.'
"Stein-Hakase has to put a dress now as punishment", she says evily.
I back up. "NO WAY IN H***!"
Then she does it. While shoving a dark red dress at me, she does it. She uses the bad guy voice.
I whimper. "I'll put it on." I say meekly.
It's not like anyone I know is around.
Cursing under my breath I stalk into the dressing room and lock the door.
I look at the dress. It's not ugly, and I'm sure it would look lovely on a pretty young girl. It's dark red, the color of Spirit's hair, I note, with three roses at the waist. I notice that there's relatively no chest space. Leave it to Patti to find a dress that can actually fit a guy.
Sighing, I pull off my clothes, folding them neatly and setting them in the corner neatly. Blushing to myself slightly, I put on the dress, zipping up the back and trying the ridiculously cute bow in the back. I look at myself in the mirror. I chuckle slightly. I don't look half-bad for a doctor in a dress. It shows a bit to many stitches for comfort but hey, I'm hot.
Patti bangs on the door loudly.
"HAKASE! I wanna seeeeee!" She yells.
I chuckle again. Why not? Might as well humor her."
I push the door open and walk out.
"See! I told you he looked pretty" Pattie squealed.
My blood runs cold.
Guess which death scythe went dress shopping with his daughter today?
...I passed out.
It's Kidd's fault. He passed out from an asymmetry overload and Liz dragged him home, leaving me to look after his hyperactive weapon, Patti.
"Come on Hakase!" She squeals. "I need to find a pretty dress to wear to the dance!"
I groan. Dress shoppong? There are several things I'd reather do. Like dissect this child and find out what's wrong with her brain.
"STEIN-HAKASE!" She chirps loudly, shaking me from my throughts.
"What?" I inquire, twisting my screw slowly.
"Are YOU going to the dance Hakase?"
"Unfortunately" I reply. "All staff has to be present to make sure you kids behave."
"Aww...You make it sound like such a hassle!" She says, wagging a finger in my face.
"It IS a hassle." I retort. "I have no interest in...festivities."
"But won't Spirit-san be there?" She says slyly, pulling on my sleeve.
My breath hitches slightly and I begin twisting my screw nervously. "W-why would I care?"
"We can see everything Stein-Hakase. You may be able to fool the male students and teachers, but us girls know better. I know you've got eyes for Spirit."
Her revelation startled me so much I almost acccdentally pull my screw out of my skull. "Gyaaaa!" I screech, pushing it back in. "S***, that hurt..." I say, wincing.
"HAKASE SAID A BAD WORD!" Patti shouts, smacking me across the back of the head.
"Gomen" I say, uncaring, and light a cigarette.
"Stein-Hakase you can't smoke in here!" She screeched.
I frowned and put it out.
"If you don't behave and be a GOOD PERSON, I'm going to make YOU try on dresses."
I sweatdrop. That would be terribly embarassing.
"Fine. I'll 'behave'" I say, punctuating the word 'behave' with air quotes.
She pulls me by the arm towards the dressing room, where's she's already begun amassing dresses.
"You're going to try ALL of these on?" I groan.
"I have to find the perfect one!" She chirps happily.
I stand outside the dressing room while she changes into the various dresses, occasionally entering to awkwardly help her zip up the backs and tie the bows.
"Which one did I look the best in Hakase?" She says beaming.
"hnn... the blue one" I mumble, twisting my screw. "With the poofy bottom".
"YAY! Me too!" She squeals. "Now can you help me clean up?"
I survey the dressing room. All of the dresses she had discarded are on the floor. "H*** no!" I say, backing out of the room"
Stein-Hakase swore again! AND he was mean to Patti" She screeched, fire burning in her eyes.
'Oh crap'I think. 'I've done it now.'
"Stein-Hakase has to put a dress now as punishment", she says evily.
I back up. "NO WAY IN H***!"
Then she does it. While shoving a dark red dress at me, she does it. She uses the bad guy voice.
I whimper. "I'll put it on." I say meekly.
It's not like anyone I know is around.
Cursing under my breath I stalk into the dressing room and lock the door.
I look at the dress. It's not ugly, and I'm sure it would look lovely on a pretty young girl. It's dark red, the color of Spirit's hair, I note, with three roses at the waist. I notice that there's relatively no chest space. Leave it to Patti to find a dress that can actually fit a guy.
Sighing, I pull off my clothes, folding them neatly and setting them in the corner neatly. Blushing to myself slightly, I put on the dress, zipping up the back and trying the ridiculously cute bow in the back. I look at myself in the mirror. I chuckle slightly. I don't look half-bad for a doctor in a dress. It shows a bit to many stitches for comfort but hey, I'm hot.
Patti bangs on the door loudly.
"HAKASE! I wanna seeeeee!" She yells.
I chuckle again. Why not? Might as well humor her."
I push the door open and walk out.
"See! I told you he looked pretty" Pattie squealed.
My blood runs cold.
Guess which death scythe went dress shopping with his daughter today?
...I passed out.