Author: Me! Tina

Description: Sirius had always loved being a man. He loved the feeling of control and power, and most importantly, being a major pervert. One day when a potion went horribly wrong, Sirius was was turned into a woman! Sirius realizes slowly that being a woman is tough, and he also realizes that he does have feelings for another boy. Damn it, why can't he just be a male again?!??!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or it's characters. Unfortunatly, that privledge is going to J.K Rowling.

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This was all a joke.

Sirius sat on his bed at the dorms, trying hard to convince himself that this was all a stupid joke James thought of. What else could it possibly be? James would have told him if there was something going on between him and… Lily. Didn't Lily hate his guts anyway? Sirius shuddered as he remembered the gasping and moans he had heard from the other side of Lily's door. He had felt a sudden heat radiate his face, and he also felt blood rushing to another place, slightly southward. Then of coarse, there was the name.

"Oh God, James!"

After fleeing as quickly as he could from the door, Sirius found peace and tranquility in his dorms. His face was no longer warm, but he could tell that his lower regions weren't going to calm down, any time soon.

He sighed and decided to go to the library. Yes, the library but not for reading. No, so he could see Remus. Remus had always some how been able to tell him things that helped. He halted in his tracks. How was he supposed to confront his best friend (Who wasn't screwing Lily) and tell him he had a very painful Erection, and really needed to calm down, or he would have to wank off in the showers? That was question he could answer on his own. Don't.

He headed quickly to the shower's, stripped himself, and turned the shower onto the coldest he could handle. He leaned his forehead against the cold wall and felt his erection slowly deflate. Feeling quite satisfied, he walked out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. Once he reached his room, he pulled on a pair of pajama's and crawled into his bed.

Ah, it was good to be a man.

***********

Sirius awoke alarmed when he was thrown out of his bed. Literally.

He stared at his assaulter, and smirked when he saw it was James. "Hey! Heard you got a piece of Lily! Bout time actually, I was wondering if you were going to be a virgin for the rest of your life."

James glared at him, but a fresh crimson blush crept up his cheeks. "Uhm. No comment actually, I don't feel you need to know." He muttered and threw some clothes at Sirius. "Get dressed, you lazy bum. You're going to be late for your potions class!"

Sirius grumbled and changed his clothing. The only reason he went to potions class was because Remus was in it, and he loved to fluster his innocent friend.

***********

Sirius walked inside of the classroom to find Remus in his normal spot. His nose was shoved into a book, as usual, and the seat next to him was free. He expected this, considering the last time someone tried to sit in his spot, Sirius nearly ripped their head off. And some limbs. … and maybe something which all men should have if they want children.

"Hiya RemRem! What are you reading?" He asked cheerfully as he plopped down in the seat next to Remus.

Remus side glanced at his friend, then continued to read. "I'm reading a book called Carpe Diem, you wouldn't like it." He side glanced once again. "Not that you ever read anything."

Sirius crossed his arms and pouted. "How do you know I wouldn't like it? You haven't even told me what it was about!" He exclaimed as he leaned in closer to read over Remus's shoulder.

Remus sighed and closed the book after placing the book mark in. "Padfoot, I know you wouldn't like it because it's a romance novel." He flushed as a devious smirk grew on Sirius's lips. "A romance novel that does not have sex in it. Only small kisses and touches. You know, something with actual feeling in it?"

Sirius's eye twitched. "Why would you something as bloody boring as that? There's no point."

"I like reading things for the feeling meant behind them. Not to see if the two main characters would nail each other in a cave. Honestly, is that all you ever think of?"

Sirius shrugged. "Not all the time." He winked. "But if you like it when we talk dirty then I can deafinatly only think of that." He smirked in victory as he saw Remus blush ferociously and shove his head in his book once again.

I love being a man! Sirius thought as he leaned back and waited for the teacher to come. Potions would pass by very easily.