Codename: Kids Next Door copyright Time-Warner
A Very Kuki Christmas
Part 1
Posted: 22 Dec 2005
Kuki Sanban hummed merrily to herself as she hung everybody's stockings over the fireplace. It was the first time she was in charge of the year's Christmas decorations. Which only meant one thing.
It was going to be the best Christmas ever.
Kuki was going to decorate the tree, string out the popcorn chains across the walls, tape up the Christmas cards that friends and family send on the wall, and help mother prepare the Christmas feast. Mother was going to be so proud of her. And nobody was stopping her.
"When do you think I'm ready to decorate, Kuki?" Mushi was lying on the couch looking up to her, both literally and figuratively.
"When you're older," Kuki assured her.
"When will that be?"
"Not for another few years I'm afraid." Genki stood by the hall holding a load of laundry in her hands. "In the meantime, you could help me fold laundry."
Mushi hopped down from the couch. "Yay!" She followed her mother into the hallway.
Kuki hung up the last stocking and nodded to herself in satisfaction. Now everything was ready for when her friends come by. Which, by the look of the clock, should be any minute now.
At least that was the plan. Though Kuki couldn't imagine what could be keeping the others.
The doorbell rang. They were here!
Kuki rushed over and opened the door, But instead of her teammates, as she had been expecting, she got a rude surprise. Numbuh 13 was visiting her home. Her sanctuary. "What are you doing here? This is a Sector V only party."
"But I don't I count as member of-"
"No. You're a member of Sector Q."
"But…"
"You should be joining their Christmas party."
Thirteen kicked an imaginary pebble. "But nobody would let me in."
Then Kuki did something she was sure that she would reject. He was a jinx. "Okay. You come in."
"Oh thank you, Numbuh 3." He pumped her arm up and down. "You'll never regret this."
"We'll see."
Kuki let him in and thunderous down blast announced the arrival of the bus-rocket. Kuki knew that it was carrying all the rest of Sector V. She waited eagerly for them to emerge.
She winched. Unfortunately something fragile had crashed in her house. And she had a good idea who had caused it. She was torn on whether to return into the house to see what had broke or to wait on the porch for her friends. Her mother's scream decided for her. She went running in.
When she reached her mother in the kitchen and saw the shards of glass on the floor, she still wasn't sure what had been broken. "What's wrong, mom?" Kuki noticed that Numbuh 13 was nowhere near the room.
"That friend of yours," Genki accused. "He broke your great grandmother's crystal poodle just by touching it."
"What was it doing in the kitchen in the first place?" The crystal poodle always stays on the dresser in Kuki's parents' room. She couldn't imagine it being anywhere else.
"I was going to give it to you to hang from the tree."
"I'm honored that you would trust me with such a responsibility, but Numbuh 4 isn't the most careful of people."
Genki seemed to consider it. "It's all moot now. Your clumsy friend smashed it to pieces."
"He's not my friend!"
"Is someone going to let us in?" Numbuh 5 said from the porch. "Or is that something we have to do for ourselves?"
Kuki rushed to the front door. "Hi, guys!" she said when she reached her friends. They were lined waiting patiently for Kuki's welcoming them into the house. She hesitated.
"What's wrong, Kuki?" Numbuh 5 asked.
"I have some pretty bad news."
"Whatever it is," Numbuh 1 said, "it couldn't possibly dampen my Christmas spirits."
Kuki took a deep breath. "Numbuh 13 is here."
"Oh." Kuki could see that it did dampen his Christmas spirits. "I see."
"I'm sorry, but nobody would let him into their parties."
"You think that there is a reason for that?" Numbuh 2 asked.
"Nobody likes him," Numbuh 2 added. "He's nothing but bad luck."
"But I can't just kick him out, guys," Kuki objected. "That would be rude."
"Rude or not," Numbuh 1 said sternly. "It still needs to be done."
Kuki planted her hands on opposite sides of the doorframe. "He'll behave himself. I'll make sure of it."
"But…"
"It's my house, so it's my decision."
Numbuh 1 deflated a little. "All right, Numbuh 3. It's your responsibility."
Mushi was leaning on the back the couch, apparently waiting for them. "Whacha gonna to do?" she asked, seemingly innocent. But Kuki knew better. Mushi was up to something.
"What do you want?" Kuki asked her.
"Nothing. I just want to join you guys."
"But, Mushi, we play together all the time."
"Not with them," Mushi pointed out.
"She does a point, Numbuh 3," Numbuh 2 pointed out.
"Alright," Kuki conceded, "we'll do something with my sister. But first you have to tell my parents are here, while I track down Numbuh 13."
"Oooh," said Mushi. "What are we going to do?"
"We'll see," Kuki assured her. "We'll see."
"Where are they?" Numbuh 1 asked.
"I know Mom's in the kitchen, but I'm not sure where Dad is."
"Then we'll go meet your mom then." The others agreed to do that. "Alright, team, let's move out."
As her team mates headed for the kitchen, Kuki went for the parlor. She didn't know her parents even had a parlor. They hardly invited anyone over, and they always met them in the dining room. And Mom was an architect in her spare time, so the Sanbans had built their own house. Now all it held were Dad's few golfing trophies. After a mere moment's look into the room confirmed that Numbuh 13 wasn't in that room. That left the dining room, Dad's office, the library and the laundry room on the first floor alone.
Kuki decided to check in the laundry room first. It had to be the worst possible place for him to be. Genki was running another load of laundry in the washer, and if Kuki didn't miss on her guess, her party dress was in it. Her own party dress. She wanted nothing to happen to it. She was going to wear at the Christmas party.
She took a look into the room. "Don't you dare touch that!"
Numbuh 4 was leaning over the washing machine toward the shelf above it. "Well, why not?"
"We're not supposed to play with the laundry detergent! Duh!"
"For your information, Kuki, your mother asked me to get it for her."
That didn't make any sense. "Why would she do that for?"
"How should I know? She's your mother."
Kuki grabbed his sleeve. "Come on. Let's go see what see wants."
"We're forgetting the detergent!"
"Oh right," Kuki blushed. "Grab it then." Numbuh 4 did and Kuki led him toward the kitchen, where Kuki had last seen her mother.
Genki was sitting at the kitchen table sharing tea with Lizzie. They seemed to swapping laundry tips. "Crestor bleach always worked best for me," Lizzie said.
"Lizzie," Kuki said, "I thought you said you weren't able to come."
"My parents agreed that I should spend more time with my Nigey and allowed me stay in town. Provided I find someone who would keep me."
"Which is me," Genki added.
"But that means that Numbuh 1 will be spending far more time here!" Kuki slammed the table with her palms. "Don't we spend enough time with him already!"
"How is that problem, Numbuh 3?" Numbuh 4 asked. "Fighting adult tyranny is gotta be the coolest thing in the world."
"Yes, Numbuh 4," Kuki said, turning to face him. "But there's no adult tyranny here."
"Are sure, Numbuh 3? Parents can be quite tyrannical."
"Yes, Numbuh 4, I'm quite sure."
"Is this the little club you go to? The Girls Next Door?" Genki asked.
"That's the Kids Next Door, mom!"
"Well, whatever is, Mr. Boss is constantly talking about your club. It seems he as some kind of grudge against you kids."
"That's because he's a super villain, mom."
"Don't be silly, Kuki. Don't you think I would be able tell if he was a villain or not?"
"Apparently not," Kuki murmured.
"Kuki," Genki wagged her finger at her, "don't mutter under your breath."
"Yes, mother."
"What did you want the laundry detergent for, lady?" Numbuh 4 asked.
Genki smiled. "Thank you, Wallabee. I just wanted to show Lizzie the detergent that I use."
"Lizzie! What does she know about detergent? It's not like does any laundry anyway."
"Hmmph," Lizzie said. "I do the laundry at my house all the time. And I suppose that you don't even do your own laundry."
Numbuh 4 cringed back. "How did you know?"
Lizzie lifted her chin. "Just as I thought. You boys are the same. You always expect a girl to wash your clothes."
"For your information, Lizzie," Numbuh 4 shot, "my mom doesn't let me any near the washing machine or the dryer. Says I break them too often."
Silence descended upon them. Kuki could tell that she wasn't the only one comfortable. Numbuh 4's mouth fell open as it apparently and slowly dawned on him that what he had just said made him sound like idiot. Genki silently gasped. Lizzie broke the silence. "Figures," she said as she brought the cup up to sip.
"And I asked you to get my detergent for me," Genki said in horror.
"Come on, lady, I didn't even touch the stupid thing."
"This is all well and good," Kuki said, "but I'm looking for Numbuh 13."
"That nerdy-looking kid?" Lizzie asked.
Kuki nodded.
"He went upstairs, saying something about seeing your room or something."
"And you let him?"
"I don't see what the problem is."
"You always let strange boys into your room?"
"Of course. It's my shrine to Nigey," Lizzie said lovingly.
Kuki screamed in frustration and stomped in the direction of the stairs. Letting strange boys into her room? Just what was wrong with Lizzie Devine?
As she was stepping onto the first stair, Mushi appeared at her side. "Where are you going, Kuki? Your friends are here and the decorations are still not finished. What are you doing?"
"Tracking down a jinx."
"What jinx, Kuki."
Kuki looked at her sister with a zen-like expression. "The nerdy-looking kid."
"Oh. He went up these stairs. I think he needed to use the bathroom or something."
"Thank you."
Kuki climbed the stairs.
She heard a crash in her room. So ran down the hall and flung open the door to her room.
There Kuki found Numbuh 13 in her room with her most prized possession. Her holiday-cheer Yule-time Rainbow Monkey. It was so big that he had to hold with both arms. "Put that down now, or things are going to get real ugly real fast." At least her chandelier was still intact.
"What's the matter? You act like this is fragile or something. It's not like it's smash to pieces if I drop it. Not that I'm going to do that of course," Numbuh 13 added hastily.
"And just what did you break?"
"I don't know, Numbuh 3. I was just looking around and something just fell."
"Fell? Fell where?"
Numbuh 13 pointed. Unfortunately he had neglected to let go of the Rainbow Monkey first, so it got ripped in half in the process.
Kuki screamed.
"Oops," Numbuh 13 said.
That didn't help him.
Kuki decided to take out all her rage onto him. She lunged forward. He ducked. Kuki pounced onto him so hard that his head slammed against the floor. The impact was so hard that Kuki was afraid that he was hurt. "Uh oh."
She looked in the direction that Numbuh 13 had indicated. "What in the world?" A broken open snow globe laid on the hardwood floor, dripping out snow globe fluid. "I don't remember ever owning a Jamaica snow globe."
She got up and walked toward it. She picked it up and a yellowish gas started escaping from it. "That's not right."
She breathed in the gas.
And everything went black.
-OOO-
"Has anyone seen Numbuh 3?" Nigel Uno, a.k.a. Numbuh 1, asked.
The KND operatives sitting in the living room with him, Numbuhs 1 and 5, both shook head. "No, she went in search of Numbuh 13." Numbuh 5 shivered. Nigel didn't blame her. Numbuh 13 had to be the worst KND operative ever.
"Just what is Numbuh 13 doing here anyway?" Nigel wondered.
"I don't know, baby. But Numbuh 5 don't like it." She sipped her punch.
"Neither do I, Numbuh 1," Numbuh 2 said. "Maybe we should help Numbuh 3 look for that creep."
Nigel nodded. "Yes, I think we should. Who knows what kinds of mayhem he's capable of causing?"
They stood up. And Numbuh 3's little sister came skipping came in dragging Numbuh 4 behind her. "Wally is most amazing guy EVER, guys! He just saved my big sister from those Delightful Children From Down the Lane all by himself." Numbuh 4 blushed and sheepishly rubbed the back of his head."
"So just where is Numbuh 3?" Nigel asked.
"She went to take the walking broken mirror home."
"You mean Numbuh 13?" Numbuh 5 asked.
Mushi seemed to ponder that. "I suppose that's his name."
"Wait a second," Numbuh 5 said, "you were gone for a few minutes. What happened?"
"And what were those Delightful Brats want with Numbuh 3 anyway?"
"Do I really have to tell this story, Numbuh 1? I'm really beat."
"I'm afraid so, Numbuh 4. If the Delightful Children were in this house, I have to know about it." Numbuh 1 struck his palm with his fist. "We need to know all we can about those Delightful Creeps."
Numbuh 4 sighed. "I suppose you're right."
"Of course he's right, Numbuh 4. Come on, tell us your story."
"All right." Numbuh 4 began relating his story. "I was wondering what was taking Numbuh 3, so I went up the stairs…"
-OOO-
Wally climbed the stairs following Mushi who had just talked him into meeting Numbuh 3 upstairs. He had the feeling that Mushi was up to something. But whatever it was, he wasn't going to fall for it.
When they reached the top of the stairs, Mushi froze. "Oh, now what?"
"Something's wrong," Mushi whispered nervously. She looked over her shoulder. "Could you go see what it is?"
Wally rubbed the top of her head. "Just leave everything to me, little girl."
Mushi nodded aquievesly. Wally stepped forward. And then he remembered something. "Which one is Kuki's room?" Mushi pointed. It was the second door to the left. "Thanks, kid."
Mushi nodded.
Wally carefully approached the door. Kuki was probably having some trouble with Numbuh 13. Fortunately, he knew how to handle to handle such an emergency. He opened the door.
And found the Delightful Children headed for the door with Kuki over their shoulder. Actually she was over the tall blond boy's shoulder, but it really didn't matter which shoulder she was over. The Delightful Dorks had Numbuh 3, and they weren't taking her anywhere. "You put her down now."
They stopped and turned toward him. "Why, if it isn't Numbuh 4 of the Kids Next Dumb."
Wally faced the Delightful Children. "If you want Kuki, then you'll have to go through me."
They shook heads. "What makes you think that would any kind of deterrent for us?"
"Deterrent?" Why must the bad guys always use words that he didn't know?
"When we use force to intimidate."
"I knew that," Wally said lamely.
"You never were the smartest one in the neighborhood. Taking Kuki here should a snap."
"I may not be genius like Numbuh 1 is, but I still know how to kick your butts."
"We'll just have to see about that." They dropped into a stance to deflect the attack that Wally was sure to send them. Wally didn't want to disappoint, so he jumped into the air and grabbed hold of the chandelier and began swinging. Each swing was more pronounced than one before, so soon the chandelier threatened to fall off the ceiling. And take him with it. So he had to act quickly.
"What do you think you're about to, Wallabe Beetles?"
"You'll see." With final swing, Wally jumped off and landed right on top of Lenny, the one with helmet. The rest of them soon followed.
-OOO-
"And that's how I was able to take them out and save Numbuh 3 from the creepy Delightfuls," Numbuh 4 concluded.
"Is that really true?" Abby asked in disbelief. What were the chances that the Delightful Children were in the same building they were in without them knowing.
"It most certainly is." Mushi jumped up and down. "I watched it all from the door."
"Let's just wait until Numbuh 3 gets back," Numbuh 2 said, "and she if she vouched for him."
"Yes, let's do what he suggests," Numbuh 4 said, nodding.
Abby sighed. "Alright, let's wait and hear what Numbuh 3 has to say."
Numbuh 1 got up. "While we wait… does anyone want a refill on their drink?"
-OOO-
Kuki stomped down the snow-covered sidewalk a reluctant Numbuh 13 back to his house. But she was getting second thoughts about the whole thing. It was Christmas after all.
"Phooey with this," she said.
She suddenly turned back around, and started dragging Numbuh 13 back home. She knew she was going regret it, but it was Christmas!
"Where we are going?" Numbuh 13 asked. "I thought you were taking me home."
"We are. My home."
"Oh, but I didn't think that anyone liked me and you didn't want me there anymore."
"Didn't. Changed my mind."
-OOO-
As Numbuh 3 was dragging Numbuh 13 back to her house, five pairs of eyes watched her from the shadows.
This was supposed to only have part, but it kept getting longer and longer, so I thought it best to divide in half for ease of reading, and so that I can get something actually posted by Christmas. The conclusion comes New Year's Eve.