A/N: This first chapter may not be all that, but its setting the scene for the hilarity in the next few. Please bear with it! :) -Mufin
Warning: K+. Also, this is pure crack. Nothing more, nothing less.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the franchise.
Please note: This story is crackish. As such, some characters may do things they normally wouldn't as otherwise these crackish scenarios would never burst into their splendid existence.
Oh gibbity, adhere to the order! ~MufinXoxo
Chapter 1: Three choices
He stood in front of the wooden door, contemplating if he really should knock or if this would just be a waste of his time. A slight chill hung in the castle of Hogwarts, a sign that winter was coming and would sweep over the castle grounds soon. His last winter within these walls.
Well, better get the meeting over with. He rapped on three times.
"Come in." a voice from the other side said, and he entered.
"Ah, Tom, please have a seat." Professor Dumbledore gestured to the chair opposite his cluttered desk, peering at Tom over his half-moon spectacles.
"You wanted to speak with me, Professor?" He regarded Dumbledore, suspicious. Conversations with the man had never boded well, and probably never would.
"Yes. As part of a student support program, we asked you to fill out a questionnaire about your future aspirations, as I'm sure you recall." Dumbledore placed his feathered quill on the table and pulled out a piece of parchment.
"Yes, I remember." Tom settled down in the chair opposite reluctantly, feeling that this conversation was going to drag on. The cushions were comfy, fluffy like cotton candy, and he was pleased that at least he was sitting comfortably in an uncomfortable situation.
"Well, the teacher responsible for you, your head of House, Professor Slughorn, is very busy. I'm sure you're aware why, with the, how shall I say, questionable people in your house destined to become Death Eaters oh my!" Dumbledore was visibly surprised, his thin eyebrows reaching his hairline.
"Death Eaters is not a term I've come across before, Professor." Tom pointed out, wondering what on earth the old man meant, when really, his cat was waiting for him back in his dormitory to be fed.
"Exactly, Tom, exactly! It is not a term any of us know. Even I don't know where it came from. I wonder..." Dumbledore mused, "Not very imaginative as well, I think. Purple Pumpkins has a nicer ring to it..."
"Professor, I really have something I need to do." His cat was not getting any less hungry whilst he was wasting time here. Tom suspiciously eyed the wizard. Was that Dumbledore's plan? To make Tom's cat so hungry that the cat would hate Tom forever more?
"Yes. That is exactly it, why I must speak with you. On the career section of the questionnaire, your first choice was world domination."
Tom did not reply. What was there to say? Everybody had different aspirations in life.
"It's not a branch where many wizards find themselves with a successful career. In fact, it's a ludicrous option at best."
"But it's been my dream for as long as I can remember." Tom protested.
"Yes, I understand." Dumbledore said, understanding in his eyes. He stood up and placed a consoling hand on Tom's shoulder, "But sometimes the limitations of career opportunities force us to make grave sacrifices."
Tom didn't say anything.
"Let me show you something." Dumbledore went to a large bookcase in the corner of his room, pulling out a bright red book. He handed it to Tom, "I once dreamed of being able to knit socks, but alas, it seems I never caught the gist of it."
Tom's eyebrow twitched imperceptibly, "I do not understand what this has to do with my career choice."
Dumbledore sat down, the old chair creaking, "Just an anecdote. Let me see." He tapped his chin.
Tom tapped his foot.
"Ah, yes! How about this? Leave world domination on the list, but reverse the order of it."
"Reverse it, Professor?" Tom recalled not putting that much effort into his third choice. He had prioritised his A and B plan, "Do I have no other options?" What had his third choice been?
"I am afraid not."
Tom sighed, getting the distinct impression that he would not be able to go unless he agreed. "Fine."
"Excellent!" He heard Dumbledore exclaim as he left the room, and he shook his head to get his mind to focus.
His poor cat must be starving by now.
A/N: Any thoughts about what the other career choices were? – Mufin