Title: Fragments of Her Memory
Summary: (Gift Fic for HPS19 :) ) When she suddenly remembered him after eight years since that summer camp happened, he had never left her mind, even once, though he was just a friend in her childhood years. As fragments of her memory of him came back to her, little by little, she found herself torn between destiny and her decisions. Will she ever see him again? [NaLu]
A/N: Happy 18th birthday to my awesome friend here, HPS19! She's the most adorable writer in the whole wide hyperbolic universe! Hahahaha! XD
To HPS19: Rayray, na-pressure ako sa pagsulat diri. Huhuhuhu :'( Miss ta na ka ray, one year na ta wala kakit-anay hahahahaha! Musta ang love life? Ayieee 3 I wish you happiness, blessings, love, peace, dreams, and all other things that don't cost anything! Hahahahahaha! God Bless and enjoy your day! :D
P.S.: I love your profile in twitter! XD For all your readers and fans (including me, of course) who were touched by your stories, you are the best writer ever! XD I look forward in the future to see your stories published in the book stores all over the world! I'm proud to be your friend. Hahahaha!
(A-Not-So) Trivia: This story was inspired from the experiences of my friend which she truly treasures. :D
Happy (long) reading everyone!
='*'=
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There were a few moments in life which she couldn't forget.
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='*'=
[present]
It was six o'clock in the morning and the first class she had that day was still a few hours away. She stretched her arms up, yawning and rubbing the sleep off her eyes, and started to get ready for a walk. It had become her habit ever since she went to that university. In a way, it relieved her stress from the pressure of being a college student.
A fresh feeling to start the day, she thought, smiling.
She opened the door of her apartment, the warm rays of sunshine enveloped her and the cold morning breeze blew a few strands of her blonde hair away from her face. Placing both of her hands inside the pockets of her sweatshirt, she strolled in a place inside the school campus that most people called "The Famous Lane of Lovers."
It was named that way because most students who were dating each other would walk there, a place where they can spend time with each other. The setting was very close to nature: the lane was lined with cherry blossom trees on both sides, beyond them were the luscious green football field on the left side while a mini forest was on the other.
The leaves of the trees filtered the sun's rays as she walked. A few other morning people were jogging around the area.
She turned her attention to the farthest thing that she could see: the silhouette of the mountain range against the vast blue sky above the field on her left side. They were a bit darker blue in contrast to the background but in reality, they were vibrantly green.
She had always loved looking at the sky. Something about it made her feel refreshing, relaxed and calm. On a few days like this, the white cottony cirrocumulus clouds were floating by and she could see them move ever so slightly because of the wind currents above.
A slight, sudden bump at her right arm brought her attention from sightseeing to see what has caused it.
Or rather, who.
"I'm sorry," they both said.
When her chocolate brown eyes met his face, a sense of familiarity surrounded her.
He has a brown hair that was hidden behind a cap, a pair of onyx eyes, and the way the edge of his lips curled upwards - it tugged something inside her.
He gave her a quick glance and continued jogging past her.
She only watched at his retreating figure, then shook her head sideways.
She seemed to have seen his face in every person who could be him.
And it was not for the first time.
='*'=
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His face, eight years ago, was a bit blurry in her mind, but she still remembered that the feeling she had when they were together were as bright as day.
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='*'=
[past: eight years ago]
Alone in a room full of strangers, she briefly glanced around then sighed as she rested her face on the palm of her hand. Most of the kids her age were chitchatting with each other while a few were sitting silently like her.
It was the first day of the summer training camp held inside a huge building in Crocus, a few hundred miles away from her home town. It consisted of representatives from different regions all across the country that would participate in various activities sponsored by a national elite academic group. She didn't know why her school chose her in her grade, though. They say it would be fun and enjoyable for her because she had "undiscovered talents," whatever that were, she hadn't discovered yet.
The brighter side was that Loke-san , her senpai who was a year older but from a different school which was near hers, was also chosen. Apparently, she had liked him ever since she first saw him. It was a small town, after all. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to know her, and he was in another room. Their groupings were based on what grade they were.
Carrying three books in her arms, a red-haired woman, probably in her mid-twenties, entered the room and placed her things on the table at the front. The noise turned into hushed murmurs.
She showed a smile and greeted them.
"Good morning, everyone. I'm Miss Erza," she cheerfully said.
"Good morning too, Erza-sensei," they replied in chorus.
She scanned around the room like she was looking for someone.
"Before I begin, I would like to ask the following persons to stand up as I call their name," she opened the first book on the table and a moment later, she was holding a piece of paper.
"Gray Fullbuster from Seiko Elementary School?" she glanced up and saw a boy with a raven hair slowly stood up from his chair.
"Good. Where's Lucy Heartfilia from Magnolia Academy?"
The moment her teacher called her name, she felt surprised and hesitantly, rose, thinking of anything she had done wrong without her knowing it.
"and, Natsu Dragneel, from Carnation Center School?"
A few feet away from her stood a pink-haired boy who was really calm about it, though his eyebrows seemed to be furrowed.
Erza-sensei beamed at them.
"Okay, the three of you will come with me. Let's go," she motioned them to follow her, and added to the rest of the class, "I'll be back!"
They walked behind her, past a series of turns along the way. She had noticed that the rooms they had passed had started their discussions already, some in Math, while others are in Science or English.
Before she knew it, they stopped outside a room near the end of the hallway, beside a staircase.
"There you go, you three," the teacher said to them. "Enjoy!"
She turned back to them, and walked to the direction of where they came from.
They looked at each other, confused, but they didn't know better than to enter the room and have a seat.
The students were a little less talkative than that of the previous room, and the teacher hadn't arrived yet.
She found an empty seat, and before she could arrive at it, another person had beaten her to it.
"Oh, I didn't notice you also coming here. Do you want to sit here?" he asked her.
She smiled. "I'm fine, I'll look for another." She looked around the room, and the only remaining seat was the one behind him. "I guess I'm all right..." she sit beside him, "...here."
He grinned at her. "I'm Natsu, by the way. I'm from -"
She cut him off.
"Carnation, I know, Erza-sensei had called the name of our schools aloud. It was my parents' home town and our family would always have a vacation there. And I'm Lucy, from Magnolia."
"The places we come from are near to each other," he cheekily said.
"Yeah," she agreed. "Do you have a companion from your school here?"
He shook her head no. "What about you? Are you alone, as well?"
Her eyes darted from one person to another around the room, trying to see a familiar face. They widened and she tried to gasp silently when they landed on Loke's face.
"He's here..." she muttered breathlessly.
They were in the same room, so it must mean that she went one level up! Why?
"Huh?" Natsu asked in confusion.
Turning her head to the boy beside her, she casually replied.
"It's nothing. Yes, I'm the only one here, too! But...I just thought I saw a familiar face from my hometown..." she trailed off.
He smiled at her, "Really? That's great! Who?"
She timidly pointed to the said person, making sure that the two of them were the only ones who knew this conversation.
"You can ask that person and be friends with him!" he suggested.
"But. . . I'm shy." she countered.
He shook her head. "Just ask him, " Hi, are you from Magnolia?" It would just be seven syllables! Come on, you can do it!" he encouragingly told her.
She grinned at him, "I'll do it next time...or not."
='*'=
.
Because at the back of her mind, she still believed she would recognize him when they would bumped into each other someday.
.
='*'=
[past: eight years ago]
Days went by, and she was surprised that the lessons from different subjects were very advanced, like three levels up from her current grade.
The thing that bothered her was that she could cope up easily. Maybe that's her "undiscovered talent"?
She also found herself always in the company of her new friend, Natsu. He was really kind and innocent, for a boy. She really liked him. He had a gentle voice, a warm smile, and his truthful eyes had always reminded her of the saying, " The eyes are the windows of the soul."
He was like a little brother to her.
Whether it was in group discussions, presentations, or even in games, they were always together.
At first, she felt awkward since all of her close friends in school were girls. From time to time, she adjusted, though.
She was happy to have a boy best friend.
[present]
She was walking down the hallway towards her first subject, glancing down at her wristwatch.
'A good five minutes to go,' she said, now half-running.
Wiping the sweat forming on her forehead with a handkerchief, she smoothed her hair neatly and entered the room.
Her course mates were all lively on that morning, as usual. Greetings were exchanged to each other as she found herself a seat near the side of the room where the windows reached from floor to ceiling, making the whole area brightly illuminated.
The soft, tiny pink petals from the trees outside were slowly drifting inside the room. When a single one landed on the top of her desk, she picked it up and stared at it, studying it carefully.
.
She knew that they had to part ways. However, she didn't remember how they said goodbye to each other back then.
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='*'=
[past: eight years ago]
They were staying at the balcony on the second floor of the building.
As she was writing down on a piece of paper, she felt a hand touching her hair.
Surprised, she turned to the person beside her.
He grinned, holding out a pink petal in between his fingers.
"Something fell on your hair," he cheekily said.
Pretending to be annoyed, she told him, "You're not doing your homework, are you?"
"I finished writing it."
"Okay, you're the master," she laughed.
"Tomorrow's the last day of the camp, right?" he asked her.
"Yes, what about it?"
He looked at her without saying anything for a few seconds. She stared back at him, waiting for his words.
"What?" she tried again, confused. He seemed to be really deep in thought.
He broke his gaze on her and stared at the distance, a smile forming on his lips. "Thank you, Lucy. For this camp. For being my friend."
She had felt warmth when he said those words. "Me too, Natsu. Thank you..."
For everything.
She chose the words to left hanging in the air.
That was the last fragment of him in her memory.
='*'=
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Deep inside her heart, she believed that some people may be a part of her history, but not a part of her destiny. 1
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='*'=
[present]
"Most people argue whether which is true: that destiny controls each person's life, or whether we actually make our own destiny," the professor said, eyeing each one of us inside the room.
"On the first one's scenario, things that must happen must happen, whether we like it or not, whether we worked hard for it or only do it with mediocrity. Whatever we do, we can't alter the future, because there is only one. When we faced a certain circumstance in which we must decide, we would likely choose what destiny would dictate us, without knowing it, of course. It's like life is predetermined. No matter what you do, you can't change your future."
Hushed voices filled the room. She looked around to see her classmates silently making discussions with their seat mates, a few nodding or shaking their heads while the rest were in deep thought about it.
She tried to think what those words meant.
The person at the front walked to and fro around the room as she continued saying,"The other scenario told us that we can, in fact, change and shape our future, depending on the strength of our will and the decisions we made. We make our own destiny, our future. Most people believed it because it gives them hope that they will achieve their dreams. When we passed a certain crossroad, we are free to make a choice. Whether it would turn right or wrong depends on you. If you want to go back to where you started, you can. There's no limitation to it. There are many possible futures, and what you do now will determine what your future will be."
Her professor returned at her table, placing her hands down on top of it. She briefly glanced at her wristwatch.
"Now, for the remaining thirty minutes, I want you to think which of the two would you believe, and make a stand for it. Pass the output next meeting. That ends our discussion today, but you can do brainstorming your ideas with each other. I have an urgent appointment now, and I'm a bit late. See you and goodbye!" she said, grabbing her things and quickly dashed out of the room.
She smiled. Her prof was a little bit carefree, and cool.
She leaned her head on the palm of her left hand, her elbow on the desk as she toyed a ballpen with her free hand.
Looking outside the window, she stared at the school grounds, and gazed at the blue sky above, her thoughts wandering thanks to the last discussion.
For her, she preferred to believe that both worked (not to be safe, but just... yes. It was a safe answer, after all.) Destiny may brought everything together, but the will of and decisions that are made by each individual may also affect his or her life.
Like what happened, when she suddenly remembered him, out of the blue.
='*'=
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She believed that destiny brought them together, but circumstances separated them. She couldn't fight back.
.
='*'=
[past]
Destiny is pretty mean to her.
Just as she slowly realized her feelings, it was a little too late.
But then, she felt like in a way, it also because of her fault.
Her will was weak.
When she faced a crossroad, she hastily chose a path that she thought would make her trip easier.
It didn't cross her mind that the other road would mean she could see him, once again - Oh, how wrong she was - until she found out what he's been doing through his profile in social network recently.
-'-'-'-'-
It was just a miraculous coincidence.
If she hadn't arranged her old t-shirts in the cabinet, she would not see the green one with the words "Without Geometry, Life Would be Pointless," printed on it, and another dark blue t-shirt with a big pi at the front and its approximate value at the back (which is actually 3.141592..., and it goes on).She would not remember that summer training camp in her fourth grade. She would not remember her fated meeting with him, nor the way how happy he made her be, just by being himself. She would not find out that she really missed him, a lot, that if she could replay a memory from the past, she would choose that, and play it over and over again.
Apparently, she would not find out that not only had she forgotten his last name, but she was also having trouble remembering his first name - was it Haru, or Natsu? (she had remembered one time, though, that he has an identical twin brother, and she made him describe their differences that his name was in danger of extinction due to her not-so-good memory of remembering a person's name), though she felt that the name Natsu suited him - he gave her a warm feeling like 'summer' in her heart, just like right now.
Not only that, she would probably not search for related documents that would lead her to rediscover his last name. She didn't remember a single letter from it. Then, she wouldn't find herself looking through ever single file in her mother's drawer, and she wouldn't exhale a sigh of relief when she found out that it was just Dragneel (she was glad that her mom had printed a copy of the students that had also attended the camp, which was on the internet, because to see her daughter's name on the list made her very proud).
And lastly, she wouldn't try to Google his name to see how he had been doing, only to find out that not only once, but twice that they had a chance to meet once again.
Regret filled her heart as one by one, memories of the past that were obviously the chances she was looking for to see him came crowded in her mind.
='*'=
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Because she did not had enough confidence to believe in herself that she could do it, . . . because she had to choose between an easy and comfortable life or a challenging and difficult one, . . . she had regrets, but only for a second.
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='*'=
[past]
It all had happened in the past now, there's no use turning back time.
Whatever must happen, it must happen.
She learned her lesson that way.
After her elementary graduation, she took entrance exams in various schools, though her dream one was Fiore Science High School, one of the most prestigious junior high school in the country. When she heard the news of her passing the exam, she felt genuinely happy. It was an opportunity for her but it would also mean that she would be a few hundred miles away from her parents and siblings and would try to live independently, at such a young age. Her parents were worried because she was born with a weak body.
It bugged her for weeks.
When it was a month before the start of the school year, she decided to enrol at a nearby school in her home town, Magnolia High.
-'-'-'-'-'-'-
"The Director of the Fiore Science High School wants you to reconsider, Lucy," her mom told her while covering the bottom part of the telephone with her hand.
"Mom, I was grateful, but hadn't I already enrolled at the nearby school?" I softly said to her so that the other end will not hear me.
"She says that it doesn't matter that last week's the deadline of confirmation, you can still go there," she told her.
"I thought we already discussed -"
"Yes, ma'am. We'll think about it again and thank you," she said, and after a few seconds, she placed down the telephone. "It's an honour, child, to be called by the most important person in that school just to pursue you," she smiled at me. "But think about it, okay? Whatever you chose, we'll be there to support you."
-'-'-'-'-'-'-
She was glad for that decision.
During her stay for three years in junior high and another three years in high school, she had experienced how fun it was, and she also did well in her studies. She met her most trusted friends there. Unexpectedly, she had fallen in love when she was in second year in middle school and it hurts even more that he likes her friend. He taught her what love was, and for that, she was grateful for him.
He made her realize that love is not only a feeling. It is also an act of making someone happy; of loving the truth of whoever person he or she is; of always thinking of that person's sake. It was a selfless thing.
That's why, as stupid as she was, she decided to be his fairy godmother who would make him happy. It was like Cinderella but there's a twist: the poor orphaned boy was the protagonist, and the princess was the center of the ball.
In the end, the boy and the princess were together.
She was glad that she had told her feelings to him before they graduated in high school. Kind as he was, he accepted it and thanked her.
Now, they both went into their own path, chasing their dreams.
It was all in the past. She treated him like a close friend now.
Then, when she (again) took entrance exam for the Fiore University (it has a main campus - in Crocus - and other five campuses throughout the country), because of her high entrance results, she could be qualified to study in Crocus. She knew that it would result to the additional cost of their schooling, not to mention that her sister's in college, too at the Carnation branch near Magnolia. She decided to study near her home town, together with her sister.
That's where she was now, towards her second year in college.
-'-'-'-'-'-'-
"Do you remember that you promised me that you will think about transferring to Crocus after the second semester?" the voice of her mother called over the phone.
"Yes, I do remember," she replied.
"So, what's your decision? Your teachers were also recommending you too, because it would be a greater opportunity when you apply for jobs in the future."
She laughed silently. "Mom, if I would transfer, I'll adjust all over again. I'll look for a place to stay, and the living expenses there were three times than in here. Not to mention that the tuition fee would double."
"It's all right," even through the phone, she heard her try to convince herself. "We could sell our new house and we would stay with our old one! If it's for your dream, my child, we'll do everything."
"Mom..."
"Lucy, if you just tell us, we would do it."
After calming her mind, she finally said.
"No, mom. I'm okay here. I fell in love with my course now, and if I will transfer and shift to another degree program now, I would be behind for a year," she tried to laugh, even though her heart clenched. She must do it.
"Besides, this university is a system. It doesn't matter what campus I would graduate, what is important is that I will finish what I have started," she continued.
-'-'-'-'-'-'-
When she clicked about his profile, it says:
Studied at: Fiore Science High School
Currently Studying in: Fiore University - Crocus (Main) Campus
Taking Bachelor of Science in Chemical Engineering I
Her fingers trembled and her heart was beating rapidly inside her chest.
Maybe, they're not meant to see each other once again, after all.
='*'=
.
If she could choose between going out of her way just to see him again or staying where she was now, she would choose the latter, for both of their sake.
.
='*'=
She was surprised that she meant her words.
She truly believe that he was just a thing in the past now. Destiny may brought them together for such a brief time, though it kept them apart for years. If only she made a different choice, things would be different.
She truly miss him.
Though his face was a bit blurry in my mind, she could still remember his kind eyes looking at her. She could still picture out his grin that made her day a little brighter, though she had never noticed it way back then.
He's just a childhood friend of hers. He's just a best friend from those days. She bet if they didn't get separated by distance and circumstances, they were still bestfriends.
She wondered how he's doing.
Sometimes, she daydreamed that if she had gone to the same school as his, would he still remember her? She's just a tiny fragment of his past. Would he change? If he didn't remember her, would they ever got a chance to start again as friends, being a huge university and all? Heck, maybe they couldn't even cross each other's paths.
There's no use thinking of what if's.
She couldn't change the past; all she had to do is to accept it, move on, and face the present. There's a chance for a better tomorrow, if each one of us only believed in ourselves, she thought.
If she could do anything she wanted, she would wish to see him again. She didn't care if he would recognize her or not. Just to see him would make her happy. The important one is that she won't trouble him by bringing up the past.
She must let him go.
='*'=
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Yes, she truly believed that whether an individual's life is written by destiny or by the person himself, it doesn't matter because there's a greater force than all that governs and watches us from above.
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='*'=
It's like what she had read about:
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"... I am supposed to share with you what life has taught me, ... first, life teaches us that, whether we perceive it as predestined or as random, it is beyond any person's control. "2
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What is referred to in the last phrase is related to destiny, she thought.
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"... Second, there is no template for the meaning of life. Instead, the meaning of life is what you choose to make it mean. In making your choice, when you reach my age, your journey becomes an affirmation of the warning that life is a consequence of our moral choices."
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Partly, life depends on the person's will and the choices he/she made.
Her wish that she could see him again was beyond her control now, but if she tried hard enough, it might still come true in the future.
No way, she muttered. It couldn't be.
"Life is a consequence of our moral choices." Yes, it is very true in her part. Because of her decisions, she would never see him.
Depressed, she closed her eyes and rested her head at the top of her desk. Her intense thinking for almost half an hour squeezed all of her brain cells.
Even though she tried to rest, why did her mind shouted incoherent thoughts, as if it contained a series of moving gears that still keep working and thinking.
If life would permit her to see him someday, despite the fact that they are so far away now, if they were truly meant to meet again, maybe the distance between them would be zero. Sadly, if it wouldn't, maybe things were better left as they should be, for both of their sake. She didn't want to bring him trouble by showing up like a ghost in the past, after all. If she ever got again an opportunity, she was sure that she'll grab it without having second thoughts. Life taught her to keep going on; it also reminded her that she would got to live it to the fullest.
She had made her resolve.
='*'=
.
='*'=
[present]
The bell rang, and one by one, her classmates exited the room. She felt a hand tapped on her shoulder. Turning around, she saw her bestfriends grinning at her.
"Let's eat lunch, Lu-chan," Levy told her.
"Yeah, and let's hurry! Gray-sama had already went to the canteen," Juvia said, dragging both of them.
Five minutes later, she found herself seated beside Levy, who was also seated beside Gajeel. Juvia and Gray were facing them, much to the former's delight.
They talked about random stuff, and Lucy can't help but smile as how Juvia joyfully tried to make her beloved happy by offering to feed him herself, in which Gray rejected. Meanwhile, Gajeel teased Levy about how a midget like her must eat more food.
She suddenly noticed that another person took a seat beside Gray, which is also facing hers.
"Hi, Gajeel, Gray," he casually greeted them.
The said persons looked at him, surprised, and greeted him back., with a surprisingly gentle voice,"Hi, buddy!"
Gajeel cleared her throat, then said, " Guys, I hereby introduce to you a friend, the twin of my classmate in high school. His hometown is here but he's studying in Crocus -"
The boy who was apparently her friend's acquaintance ignored his introduction and smiled at her.
He was the one who bumped her, no - who she bumped - earlier in the morning when she took a walk.
Then, looking back at him,
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the way his onyx eyes sparkled,
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the way his smile turned into a familiar grin that made her heart feel warm,
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and the way his messy brown hair had pink hues at the top of his head which she hadn't notice at first,
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made her realize that
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Life has its own surprises.
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His lips curled upwards.
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And he cheekily asked her,
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"Hi, are you from Magnolia?"
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*Fin*
A/N: Whahaha! (hides in embarrassment) XD
1This quote was taken from Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso, one of the most favorite animes of mine! XD "Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny."
2 This was an excerpt from Sen. Miriam Defensor Santiago's speech, "Paradigm for the Happy Life," March 31, 2014, from her best-selling book, Stupid is Forever. :)
Bye2x everyone!