Disclaimer: The author is in no way, shape, or form in any form of association with World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), any of the wrestlers mentioned in this story, or anything else. I just wrote the thing. Please enjoy.
Set after the 8/13/15 Smackdown tag team match. Really, this piece is more dedicated to why one of tags for them on tumblr is "otp: i'm not bruno mars you're on your own".
Hope you guys enjoy!
Kevin storms backstage after Smackdown goes off air and is looking for one particular asshole in general. The one who just so kindly decided to disappear after their match instead of sticking around to help him kick ass; the one who didn't come back to help him before he got his ass handed to him. You know, that fucking coward Seth Rollins.
Kevin kicks over a chair in his rage, his face dark with hatred as he grabs one of the little backstage monkeys by their stupid shirt and drags them close. "Where is he?!" he hisses out in a demand, because he knows they'll figure out quickly who he wants to see.
"Hey, hey, put 'em down! He's one of the best guys we have back here!" comes the coward's voice and Kevin is immediately releasing the terrified guy who scurries off. "We got a problem, Owens?"
"Are you seriously asking me that?" Kevin demands, looking directly at Seth with a pissed off look on his face. "After you left me out there with no backup to have my ass kicked?"
"It's not my fault that you're an unbearable ass who doesn't know when to leave well enough alone," Seth quips back with a scowl on his face. "I got us the win then I hauled ass and got out of there to protect myself. You should have done the same."
Kevin gives a furious, mocking laugh before he is shoving Seth backwards. "That's not how tag team partners work, you dumbass. Or have you forgotten how tag teams work since you turned into a scumbag and betrayed the only two guys who were stupid enough to actually like you?!"
Seth actually has the decency to look offended. Kevin thinks he even sees a dash of hurt on his face. Good. "What the hell are you talking about?! You act like you were any better! You let Cesaro throw me to the ground when you could have caught me!" He doesn't even address the comment about the Shield, especially considering that Kevin was apparently stupid enough to actually like him too.
"I asked if you were okay!" Kevin huffs out, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Oh, I'm sorry, are you okay, Kevin?" Seth deadpans, looking annoyed. Kevin presses his lips together in aggravation. "Then, after you asked if I was okay, you basically pushed me into Cesaro's line of sight while you jumped away."
Alright, so, they were both shitty tag team partners. Not that Kevin would ever admit that. "Well," he starts out, raking his brain for something to say, "I'm not Bruno Mars. You're on your own."
And just like that, he walks away, leaving Seth bewildered and wondering what the hell he might by that.
Okay, but everyone take a minute with me and imagine Kevin Owens singing Grenade by Bruno Mars. That is all.
Thank you so much for reading!
Reviews would be great but are never expected!
~Ash