She stood in the center of her penthouse apartment and spun around taking it all in. She had just moved apartments, from her old apartment up to this penthouse in New York City. It was her dream. Ever since he had left 5 years and 355 days ago she had risen to the top. By miracles she had become somebody. Her dreams of becoming Mrs. Halstead were thrown out the window the day he walked out.
Jay Halstead had lived next door all her life. They were inseparable. Nothing anything could do would break the two apart. Around the age of fourteen Jay had kissed her at a high school football game. Their high school had just won, and Jay turned his head and watched her excitedly jump up and down. She turned her head and stared into Jay's eyes. Their faces remarkable close to each other, electricity high between the two best friends. Jay leaned in the inch, and pressed his lips to hers. From that point on, they were together. High school sweet hearts, prom king and queen, the couple that all other couples looked to for hope.
Their plans for the future were always individualized; however, they had always included each other. Erin wanting to be the big CEO of her favorite company, she had big plans. Jay wanted to be a cop. They were going to move from Chicago to New York City.
That was until her 20th birthday, and she woke up in her bed with a note on his pillow. The note saying not to contact him and along with all of his things gone were enough evidence to say he wasn't coming back. The clothes he left at her place for the days he unexpectedly slept over, and the shampoo in the shower, all of it had disappeared. She built her own company; forget the ladder climbing of an already established company. She was a lawyer. Her fortune came from two years of experience after graduating from law school. Not a word from Jay since the day Jay had left. But her dreams had come true. She was all she had ever wanted to be at the age of 26.
She walked through her living room and into her kitchen. Grabbing a cold water bottle from her fridge she continued to her bedroom. Huge windows over looking the city of New York illuminated the room. She took off her pantsuit and threw on her large t-shirt. Well not her t-shirt. It was Jay's. She hasn't slept a night without it since she found while folding her laundry 2 weeks after he left. The memories of Jay were imprinted in the shirt, but the smell had faded. Jay's cologne washed out with the scent of her after work perspiration. She fell asleep on her bed mentally preparing herself for another tough case tomorrow.
XXX
The shrill of her alarm clock poured through her bedroom. She sat up, remembering the tough day she had ahead of her. She was defending a domestic violence case. Some man had gotten drunk and beat his wife and 16-year-old daughter. She showered and got dressed for the day. Hair down in waves around her shoulders, and the light make-up on her face, she headed out the door and into the real world.
She walked 3 blocks to her favorite intimate coffee shop. It wasn't the typical New York coffee shop. It reminded her of a small town café, that's why she enjoyed it so much. She came here every day since she could remember. Krista the barista was her best friend. The line had moved and she was at the counter. "Erin, your usual," Krista smiled and handed her the coffee.
"You're a god send my friend," she winked and gave her the five dollar pill she found in her purse. ""Keep the change girl, I still owe you a pizza, beer, and a movie. How does tonight sound?" She asked.
"Perfect, I'll come over around 8."
"Sounds good," Erin continued out of the café and towards the courthouse a couple more blocks. She walked up the steps and into the courtroom she knew she was assigned to. She loved arriving early, reviewing the case and greeting the mother and daughter of the case. However, as soon as she heard a laugh she turned her head. She saw the familiar face that is Jay Halstead. The man she had yet to let go of for 6 years.
"Short and sweet right?" The mother asked while Erin was distracted.
"Huh?" Erin responded.
"I asked if this case was going to be short and sweet, or do you think it is going to drag on?" The client asked again.
"Well, I think we have all the evidence we need to put him away," Erin smiled. "Would you excuse me? I just have to speak to someone real quick," Erin stood and walked out of the courtroom. Taking deep breaths. The man that had left with no reason or explanation was sitting inside her courtroom. She looked at her watch and realized that she had 10 minutes before court started. She took one last deep breath and turned around she bumped into a strong body. "Oh, sorry," Erin apologized. She looked up to find the one person she didn't want to talk to.
"Hey, what happened to the CEO of a major company?" Jay asked.
"Why do you care? You left, I assumed that meant that you didn't care anymore," She spat back.
"That's not fair," Jay frowned.
"I think that's totally fair. Bye Jay," She smiled and walked back into the courtroom. The case was fairly easy to win, but time seemed to be ticking slowly. Jay was apparently the arresting officer on the case. Emotions aside, she interviewed him. Jay overall helping her win her case. Erin stood, packed up her brief case, and exited the courtroom. The doors opened and she saw his face again. "For god's sake Jay. Leave me alone. I'm not happy to see you, in fact I believe what I'm feeling is a mix of anger and hate. So will you just quit it?" Erin asked as she began walking away. Jay following.
"Let me explain myself. Please? There are reason's why I did what I did. I promise you," Jay tried to keep up with her.
"I don't want to hear your excuses. I am not the same girl you left in the middle of the night 6 years ago. So stop trying to get back into my life. I'm not interested. Leave me alone," Erin stated as she turned and walked in the direction of her new apartment.
On her way she had stopped to get her next caffeine hit. She walked into the exact same café she was in that morning. "Hey Krista, you got a break? This can't wait until tonight," Erin called to her friend behind the counter.
"Yeah, let me tell my boss," Krista went to the back of the café while Erin took a seat. A couple minutes later Krista returned with her purse. "Let's go, you have 30 minutes," Erin stood and pulled Krista in the direction of her apartment. They took the elevator to the top floor, and walked into the kitchen.
"Jay's here," Erin paced. "He showed up at my court case this morning and was all charming. Like he didn't up and left me in the middle of the night. Like he didn't completely shatter my heart, stomp on it, and put it back in my chest. 6 years later there's still a large size hole in my heart. The ass is acting like we can just get back to where we were before he left me. I am exactly where I wanted to be in my life. I'm successful and I'm hot. He doesn't deserve me anymore," Erin ranted.
"You're right," Krista nodded.
"But he looked good. Like he gained 20 pounds of muscle over the years. His skin tanned, it was almost like he was glowing. These 6 years of aging has definitely enhanced his appearance. I mean I thought I was attracted to him before, and now? Seeing him today made my heart jump. The love of my life is within reach, yet I can't bring myself to not hate him," Erin confessed while pacing in the center of the kitchen.
"Well, what do you want to do? I mean you could try to listen to what he has to say, or you could try and move on. But I think the only way you can move on is to get closure. I mean I bet he is a good guy, and I'm sure he had a valid reason to leaving you, but you need to decide what's good for you."
"Yeah, you're right," Erin looked back towards her.
"Look, I've got to get back to work. So we'll continue this conversation tonight over pizza and beer. Don't worry too much. Everything will work out," Krista stood and gave Erin a hug. "You'll be okay, I promise," Krista left Erin alone in her apartment to think about what she was going to do.
She feared that if she was left alone with him, she'd fall into his arms. Which could be a good thing. However, she was angry, and heartbroken, and still completely in love. There's not much he could do. But she wanted an explanation. She had spent that first year a zombie. Not sleeping, not eating, attending classes in hope to become the someone she had always wanted to be. But then something had occurred to her. She had decided that she didn't need him to make a future. She held that in the palm of her hand. So the idea that she could accomplish anything she wanted without her led to her being a top lawyer at the age of 26.
She looked at the clock and it read 7:50. "Shoot," she exclaimed. She went into her room and took off another pantsuit and put on a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt. When she heard a knock at the door. She went and answered it. "Hey I haven't ordered the pizza yet. I was just about to…" she didn't see Krista at the door. It was him. The guy she had just spent 4 hours thinking about. "Sorry, I was expecting someone else. How'd you know where I lived?" Erin asked.
"I called your mom. She gave me you address," Jay smiled. "So? You going to let a guy into your penthouse?"
"Oh…Um, yeah I guess come in?" Erin asked wearily. He wondered into her apartment and began looking around. Walking slowly from the foyer and into the living room.
"This place looks like no one lives here," he turned around to look at her.
"Yeah, well I just moved in last week. I haven't had time to make it mine yet," Erin responded.
"You know I knew you were going to be successful when I came back," He sat on the couch and patted the cushion next to him. She turned around to look at the door. Krista was supposed to be here by now. She looked at her phone, no text. So she walked over towards him. But instead of sitting next to him, she sat in the armchair across from him.
"What are you doing here Jay? Why now? You think that just because you come back into my life I'd be accepting? You left me on my birthday Jay. In the middle of the night I add. You broke my heart into a million pieces. I don't hear a word from you for 6 years, and you're acting like every things fine," tears fell down her face. "We're not okay, I'm not okay, Jay. This," she waved her hands between the two of them. "This is not okay."
"Er," Jay began to say. However, the front door opening interrupted him.
"Erin? I know you had a bit of a rough day, so I figured I'd buy the beer and pizza again," Krista said as she entered the living room. "Oh, I'm interrupting. We can reschedule Erin. Tomorrow? Breakfast? Yeah, okay," Krista turned and headed for the door.
"Krista wait," Erin sprung up from her chair and rain in her direction. "I can't do this. He's here, and saying things."
"Oh hunny," Krista said as she wiped the tears off of Erin's face. "Babe, you need this. So what I'm going to do is first give you this," Krista handed her a beer. "I'm going to leave the pizza here as well. And when or if he leaves you call me and I'll be here in thirty seconds flat. But you need to find out why. Closure babe. Okay I'll see you later," Krista leaned in and kissed Erin's cheek. She backed away slowly watching Erin nod her head. "You'll be fine," Krista reassured.
Krista walked out the front door and Erin sighed. She turned and walked back into the living room placing the pizza and six-pack on the coffee table between them. She popped the lid off her beer and grabbed a slice of pizza before returning to her chair. She took a bite of pizza and washed it down with a sip of beer. She looked to Jay who was eyeing her curiously. She nodded and he leaned forward to take a beer and a slice of pizza. She took note that they were still able to communicate without speaking.
"So you still drink the same beer huh?" Jay asked.
"It reminds me of some very good times," Erin sighed.
"Of course it does. Being 18 and in high school the cheap beer is the way to go. I just thought now that you're some big shot lawyer you'd move up to the more expensive stuff," Jay looked down and continued eating his pizza.
"Why change what you love?" Erin shrugged. "I've decided to give you time to explain yourself. I can't promise anything, considering I'm still extremely heartbroken, and angry with you. But you now have the floor," she nodded for him to begin explaining why he left in the middle of the night.
"I told you about my dad being in the army, and I said I would never want to leave the one person I love for months at a time. He said if I ever join the army and followed in his footsteps he'd cut me off, and I'd have no family left," Jay sighed. He looked down at his half eaten pizza and the beer between his legs. "As a teenager I took that as a threat. Not wanting to be without the support of a family. You especially. But when I turned 20 I realized that I could live without my family and do what I thought was best. So I joined the army around February of that year. At first I didn't hear anything from them so I thought nothing of it. Until a week before your birthday they called and said I had to be at training camp in a week. I was heartbroken. You were, well are, my life Er. I love you. I didn't want to worry you, so I left in the middle of the night. I thought that if I just cut you off cold turkey, you'd be so angry with me you wouldn't try to contact me. You would move on with your life and not have the boyfriend who is halfway across the world worrying if you're going to get that phone call," Jay tore his gaze away from his pizza slice and up towards Erin. Tears again rolling down her face.
"Why didn't you just tell me?" She asked. "You left without an explanation. Just a piece of paper saying happy birthday. That was the worst day of my life Jay. And you were wrong I never moved on, I was so angry with you, the world. I walked around for a year just going through the motions. Eating, sleeping, and doing homework. I wasn't a person. It wasn't until I met Krista that I had become some semblance of a person," Erin let the tears flow.
"I admit, I went about it all wrong. I thought leaving you while you were sleeping would prevent my heart from breaking completely. I left and didn't tell a single soul where I was going. I got back a couple days ago. My parents don't know where I've been. And they're going to be pissed as hell when they find out," Jay sighed. He too had tears falling. "But I never stopped loving you, and I don't think I every will. You've been my other half my entire life. Even when I knew you were too angry to want to hear from me. You still complete my soul and seeing you like this. What I did to you? It breaks my heart more than it was. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, and I'm sorry I did it. But I'm here for good. I got a letter last week while in my bunk. I got accepted to the New York Police Academy. So from now on I'm going to be here. No leaving, and I don't want to spend another day without you."
Erin stood and placed her beer and pizza on the coffee table. She walked over to the cushion next to Jay. She sat down and faced him. Her lips lightly grazed his. They enjoyed the feeling of each other's lips and taste for seconds before pulling away. "I don't want to spend another day without you Jay," Jay stood and picked her up. Erin placed her legs around his hips. Jay kissed her as she pointed in the direction of the bedroom. He placed her down next to the bed. Their lips still fused.
"You're still not completely off the hook. You've got a lot of making up to do. But you're the love of my life Jay," Erin smiled.
"Is that mine?" Jay asked as he pointed to the t-shirt lying on top of the comforter.
"I found it in my laundry basket a couple weeks after you left. I haven't spent one night not wearing it since. It was the only thing I had left of you," she sighed.
Jay crashed his lips to hers and gently laid her on the bed.
XXX
"You know all the guys in my platoon always got letters from their girlfriends, family, wives. They'd always laugh at me for never getting any. Saying I didn't have any significant other. I told them what I did, and I got slapped by all of them," Jay said as Erin's head lay on his chest.
"Yeah it was a pretty shitty thing you did. When do you start at the academy?" Erin asked as she mindlessly drew circles in his chest.
"Next week. So mrs big time lawyer lady, should I find my own apartment?" Jay asked.
"I mean I need someone to help me make this place feel like home. I need you here so I can keep an eye on you. Plus if all your stuff is here it'll be hard to pick up and leave in the middle of the night," Erin smiled as she looked up to see Jay frowning.
"I'm sorry I did that," Jay's frowned continued.
"I know you are. I love you being here though. And I love talking to you, but I have work tomorrow and I have to sleep," Jay nodded and kissed the top of her head.
"Good night Er," he watched her until he found her asleep. He closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep as well.
XXX
Erin jolted awake at the sound of her alarm. She looked to the other side of the bed and saw Jay absent from the spot she thought he was in last night. Was it all a dream? She stood and pulled on her t-shirt from the night before. She walked out to her kitchen and saw a shirtless Jay flipping pancakes. "I thought it was all a dream," Jay turned with a smile.
"No dream Er. It was real, one hundred percent. He put a plate of pancakes and a cup of coffee in front of her.
"I know that now. But it scared me that I didn't wake up to you."
"The army has me trained for early wake-ups," he leaned across the counter to kiss her lips.
"Yeah, the army also made sure you kept in shape," she smiled and winked.
"Erin Lindsay, are you checking me out?" Jay laughed.
"Absolutely," Erin bit her lower lip. "Do you want to join me in the shower after breakfast?"
"Absolutely Er, but if you're going to go to work you need to keep your strength up," Jay winked.
XXX
Erin dressed quickly and ran to grab her brief case off the table by the door. "It wasn't supposed to take that long Jay," she screamed at him seeing him smile.
"Call me when you're doing lunch I'll come join you," Jay kissed her goodbye.
"Yeah, yeah," she nodded and ran out the door. She still had a little time to stop for her usual coffee. She walked in rushing in.
"Erin Lindsay, A. you're late, and B. you never called last night," Krista mentioned as she handed Erin her coffee.
"We'll talk about it at lunch, say 12:30? We can eat here," Erin suggested as she glanced down at her watch.
"Yeah sounds good, now get to work you goof," Krista commanded.
Erin took the couple blocks to the courthouse with a light jog. She walked into the courtroom with a minute to spare. She sat at her usual spot and shook her clients hand. She wrapped up the case around 12:00 and decided to call Jay to tell him to do lunch at the café between her apartment and her office. She walked slowly to the café. She got there earlier than Jay had.
"Hey, I thought we said 12:30?" Krista asked.
"Crap, sorry I forgot. This morning was a hectic nightmare," Erin said as she sat at her usual table. "Jay joined the army," she mentioned as Krista sat across from her.
"The army?" Krista asked surprised.
"Yep, the army. Guns and Afghanistan, he said all the right things last night and then I kissed him. And we took it further in the bed, and again this morning in the shower," Erin smiled. "And he makes me happy, and he cried and I cried and I tried to live without him. But I can't. He's my life; he makes it fun and exciting. Plus he got into the police academy, so he's staying in New York."
"I have to say, this is the happiest I have ever seen you Erin. I'm happy for you."
Suddenly there was a large figure standing at the end of their table. Erin looked up and smiled at Jay. She scooted over towards the chair by the window. "Krista this is Jay, Jay this is Krista," Erin introduced them.
"Right the girl who came with the pizza and the beer," Jay laughed as Krista nodded.
"Ah the man who has this one unable to stop smiling. When I met her in college I didn't know she could smile. Now she can't stop. As the best friend though, I'm obligated to say, if you hurt her again I will come and find you and I will hurt you. I have my resources, just a fair warning," Erin sighed and Jay nodded.
"I wouldn't have it any other way. Thanks for looking out for her when I wasn't able to." Krista nodded.
"What does everyone want for lunch? My treat," Krista stood.
"Oh, it's okay I can pay for it," Jay said pulling out his wallet.
"Jay, she owns the place," Erin smiled as she pat his shoulder.
"Oh, okay. I'll have the special I saw when I walked in, that sounds delicious."
"Give that grilled cheese that's to die for," Erin smiled as Krista walked away to put the orders in. "You're amazing you know that?" Erin asked Jay.
"I'm not that amazing, but you do look beautiful all dressed in your professional clothes," Jay leaned in and kissed her cheek.
"Hmmm, tonight I need you all night. I don't have work tomorrow. So you'll have me all day. What are your plans for the rest of the day?" Erin asked
Jay's smile widened. "Well I was going to move all of my stuff out of storage and into your apartment. But I need a key to do that," he smiled.
"Oh right," Erin said as she dug through her purse to get her key. "I don't have another spare, so be careful with this one. Also I'll need you to let me in when I get home from work."
"Anything for you Er," Krista walked back with their lunches.
"I would love to join, but my cashier just called out sick. So I'll talk to you later, call me later. We'll do drinks. It was nice to meet you Jay, I look forward to getting to know you," Krista waved and walked away.
"She's lovely," Jay smiled.
"I know. One of those people who you can't help but love," Erin smile. "Eat up boy, I only have another half hour until I have to get to a meeting," she laughed as he piled the food in his mouth.
"This food is delicious," he mumbled as he piled the rest of his sandwich into his mouth.
"She's also the reason why I haven't died of starvation," Erin reminded him.
"So you still haven't learned to cook?"
"I've taken classes, but the instructors call me useless and usually tell me I'm never going to become a good enough cook," she laughed.
"It's a good thing I'm back then. Chef Jay to the rescue," she laughed.
"Yeah, good thing. Any way, I've got to get back to the office. I have a meeting with my clients in ten minutes. Have a good rest of your day, I'll see you tonight," she stood and leaned down to give him a kiss. She began walking in the direction of the door when she heard Jay yell.
"I love you Erin Lindsay!" Erin turned her head to look at Jay. She winked and continued on her way.
Jay had plans for tonight. He wasn't going to move in, not today. He didn't actually have anytime.
XXX
Erin walked into her apartment building. She hopped into the elevator riding it to the very top floor. She's not used to it yet; the idea that she's actually living in a penthouse in New York City. And the love of her life is upstairs and moving in. She got off of the elevator and into the hallway. She knocked on the door so Jay could let her in. The door opened and she saw Jay with a smile on his face, and the apartment filled with candles. "I thought you were moving your stuff in today? Why don't I see any boxes?" Erin asked, eyes searching the apartment.
"I had other plans today," Jay smiled. He took her brief case and her coat and placed them in the closet next to the door. He took her hand and led her to her kitchen table. "Sit my love," Jay commanded as he pulled out her chair. He went back to the kitchen and came back with 2 plates of food.
"Jay," she sighed. "You didn't have to do all this, but I'm very grateful you did," she smiled and began eating her food.
Jay pulled out a black velvet box. "Er?" Erin's head popped up and her mouth dropped open.
"Jay?" Erin asked. "We've only been together for less than 24 hours," Erin reasoned.
"We've been together for much longer than that. I love you, and I want to you that I'm not going anywhere this time. I want to grow old with you Erin Lindsay. I want to have kids, and grandkids. I want a daughter running around the front yard who looks exactly like her mother. I want you to be my wife," Erin had tears in her eyes.
"Okay," Erin nodded.
"Okay?" Jay questioned
"Okay Jay, I'll be your wife. Buy I think we should have a little boy who looks just like you," Jay stood and rushed over to her side. He picked her up and gave her loving hug and a passionate kiss. He took her left ring finger and slipped the engagement ring on her finger. He went back to kissing her and walked her back into the bedroom.
XXX
"You know I got this ring in England. I was walking through the streets of London, and I saw some guy get down on his knee and propose to the love of his life. And I thought of you and me. And if I never left we would still be happy and together. That's the moment I knew that the day I come home I was going to find you and get you back, because I love you. I always will. And I thought about the future we always planned before I was the asshole who joined the Army," Jay looked down to Erin's intense gaze. She nodded allowing him to continue. She stroked his bare chest and kissed above is heart. "So I walked into the next jewelry store I saw and I looked through the cases. I saw that ring and I knew it was the one. Its simple and elegant just like you, but its rich and vibrant like your personality, and its beautiful and shiny like your appearance. And I love every thing about you, including your flaws. So every time I was missing you I looked at that ring and it reminded me of you."
Erin looked into his eyes and leaned up to kiss his lips. "It's beautiful Jay. I love it almost as much as I love you," Jay looked down and kissed her again.