Dream Evil

By Shadowgate

…

It was an ordinary afternoon in South Park. The children just got out of school. Craig entered his home with his friend Clyde and they walked fast Ruby who was in the kitchen. They didn't' see her.

When they sat down in the living room Craig said to Clyde "I had a dream last night and I must share it with you because it's incredible."

Clyde "what happened?"

Craig explained "I came down to the living room and Ruby was watching Mister Rogers. I just groaned and then not long after that"

Ruby interrupted "oh Craig if I was watching Mister Rogers it's not like you would have had to sit down and watch it with me."

Both Craig and Clyde stop in their tracks.

Craig asked "how long were you spying on us Ruby?"

Ruby explained "I wasn't spying on you. I saw the two of you in the kitchen when you both walked in and had you turned to your right you would have seen me. I just now came out of the kitchen. I'll admit I did interrupt your conversation rudely though but I wasn't spying though. It's like this force went through me and boom I forgot all manners whatsoever and I'm sorry for that."

Craig said "well alright that sounds honest."

Clyde said "I don't know Craig she does sounds like a little sister surveillance camera."

Ruby said "well Clyde I'm not" and flips off Clyde.

Craig stated "I know lots of little sisters are human surveillance cameras but mine isn't like that."

Clyde said "knowing how honorable you are I now believe that and I apologize to Ruby. I guess I deserved the finger."

Craig said "Ruby you flipping people off can get you in trouble."

Clyde said "oh what a hypocrite big brother. You've flipped off the school counselor and that's to his face. You didn't wait for him to turn his back."

All three kids giggle.

Craig said "oh Clyde."

Ruby said "I'm sorry for flipping you off Clyde."

Clyde responded "I'm sorry calling you a little sister surveillance camera Ruby. It was a rush to judgment and wrong."

Craig said "good thing you did that on your own Clyde because if not I would have made you do it later."

Clyde responded "understood Craig."

Craig went on to say "Ruby sometimes things will work out perfectly. That force that just went through your head and led you to interrupt me I've no doubt believe was intended by the stars that shine. Astrology controls us Ruby so you don't even need to apologize but I do need to you to go sit at the living room desk in the corner designated for you. This dream has something in it that you can't hear about.

Ruby said "whoa Craig a dream you can't share with me but with your friend Clyde."

Craig said "kids share their dreams with their friends all the time."

Ruby said "I know that Craig but if I have a bad dream I share it with you."

Craig said "well I'm your big brother and it's good we have that relationship but the dream I had contains something inappropriate and Clyde is a good friend and has a good heart."

Ruby said "he has good eyes I can see into them."

Ruby and Clyde continue with their direct eye contact.

Ruby looks deep into Clyde's eyes and says "oh they're lovely like the light blue ocean as you see it on a tropical island."

Clyde smiles and Craig says "that will be enough both of you."

Clyde said "what did I do, she was the one looking in my eyes."

Craig said "I realize that Craig and lots of girls do. Now Ruby I want you to go sit down over there and I'll tell Clyde my dream because it has parts in it that are really bad and you can't hear about it. I know you'll share a bad dream with me when you have one but I had one that was super bad and I have to protect you because you're my little sister."

Ruby said "well I understand that completely oh and as you said your friend Clyde has a good heart and he's the perfect one to share it with."

Craig said "that's right Ruby."

Ruby said "however I should check to make sure."

Clyde was wearing a Terrance and Phillip t-shirt so when Ruby put her hand over his heart she immediately felt a thumping from within his chest."

Ruby said "hey Craig his heart is in really good shape. I can feel his heart beating."

Craig smiled and pretended not to be irritated and Clyde smiled at Craig with a look of surprise.

Craig said "alright Ruby you know his heart is beating strong with no problems so now you can go take a seat."

Ruby took her hand off Clyde's chest and Clyde said "don't feel bad Ruby lots of girls have wanted to play doctor with me so Craig don't give her a hard time."

Craig said "that defense does not amuse me as I know you're a ladies man but I don't want your newest lady to be my little sister."

Clyde said "understandable."

As Craig began to get started on his dream he stopped and said "okay maybe I'm about to go overboard but Ruby I'd like to ask you to go into your room."

Ruby said "Goddamn it Craig."

Craig exhaled and Clyde said "if it's something really inappropriate maybe you should discuss it in front of your sister so you can have a talk about good touch and bad touch."

Craig said "you know what maybe you're right Clyde. Anyway how'd you know that was the content of the dream and extreme violence wasn't?"

Clyde said "I took a guess."

Craig said "Ruby please come join us."

Ruby walks over and Craig puts his arm around her.

He gets back to explaining the dream.

"I walked down in the living room and saw Ruby watching Mister Rogers. I just groaned because as we all know big brothers don't care to sit down and watch Mister Rogers with younger siblings. Well then the worst of the worst happened. Mister Rogers pulled his pants down and started jacking off.

Ruby asked "what does jacking off mean?"

Craig answered "that's' where a guy squeezes his wiener until it gets really big."

Ruby said "oh and after that it's big enough where he and mommy can make a baby right?"

Craig said "right."

Ruby said "oh Craig if I had a dream like that I'd sure need a hug. It must have freaked you out to see Mister Rogers do that on television while I was watching. You need a hug Craig."

Ruby grabs Craig and hugs him as tight as she can.

After that Clyde said "I agree with Ruby that you Craig need a hug."

Clyde grabs Craig and hugs him tight.

Craig says "alright you guys have hugged me now let's get serious."

Clyde said "we are being serious."

Craig said "alright well now you all know my wild dream. The things that happen in South Park aren't always pretty."

Clyde said "that's true and anyone can have a nightmare."

Ruby said "even someone as tough as my brother."

THE END