The Black And Red Church
Nagisa
Kayano had told me she loved me only once. We had been in my bed. Both of our hair down. My hair is blue, hers is green. After she said I lay there for a while. Holding her in my arms. In the end I could only say the following.
'Thank you'. I know it wasn't what she wanted to hear. But I didn't know if I felt that way about her. I cared for her a great deal. But I didn't want to be dishonest either. She nodded softly.
'I'll take whatever you can give me, for now you just being here is enough for me' she said. It was unfair I get that okay. It's not like I was trying to hurt her. But I suppose I should consider my impact rather then intent. I fucked up I know I did. Kayano pulled away from me in the end.
'I'm going to go take a shower and get out of this uniform' she said.
'I think you look good in your uniform' I said.
'You think it makes me look sexy?' she said.
'Yes I do, well then sir I will have to arrest you for sexually objectifying a police woman' she said. I laughed at that. As she slipped off. We weren't what you would imagine when you think of cops especially not in this city. We are both short with long hair that is vibrant colours. She's cute. I look more like a girl then a man in uniform with a badge. But then again our city is not exactly conventional one either. I look out the window from Kayano's apartment. Our city. Well it was easier to consider it ours now. There were those who would still disagree but we would return this city to the old days. That is what Korosensi our commissioner of police says. In the year 76 we will return this city to the good old days.
Kayano and me were called to Korosensi's office early the next day. He had a new case he wanted to speak with us on. Our commissioner was a handsome and young man of only about thirty or so.
'Greeting lovebird rookies' he said. I bit my bottom lip. The word love had become a rather sensitive one for me since the other night. 'I need to investigate a number of cold cases and one current one'.
'Are they linked?' I said.
'You're a quick one Nagisa' said Korosensi 'they do seem to be, it might be a copycat killer, but the reason I am suspicious is because the killer of the crimes several years ago was never caught. In light of the recent homicide I'm re-opening the case'. He handed Kayano the files.
'We will look into it sir' said Kayano.
'Very good also a new transfer rookie will be joining look over the files before he gets here' said Korosensi.
'We will sir' both Kayane and me said together.
'Good and remember our motto?' Korosenesi.
'The Law is not perfect' both young officers said. Korosensi nodded and dismissed them with a wave of his hand. We headed to Nagisa's desk. We fanned the papers out. It was only then that we realized just what this Cold Case actually was.
'The Black And Red Church Killer' I said. There had been six victims over the course of two years. Then nothing. Silence. Until now ten years later. A young woman had been found hacked to death not far from where the first murders had taken place. It just had to be this case didn't it? This case of all bloody cases. That one cause she could never solve and now I have to. Kayano busied herself with the files while I headed back to my desk to pick up my badge and keys. It was then he stepped up to me. I looked up.
'Nagisa it's been a long time' said a tall, lean young man. His hair was red and his eyes like amber. I gulped.
'Karma?' I said.
'The one and only' he said 'I'm with you on this case the Black and Red Church Killer'.
'Yeah the commissioner said someone new was joining us' I said 'oh this is my partner and girlfriend Kayano'. The green haired woman shook hands with Karma.
'How do you two know each other?' she said.
'We're just old friends' I said. Kayano narrowed her eyes 'we went to school together and we were cadets together' I added. Karma didn't say anything, I couldn't read his expression either. All I could was swallow. We spoke briefly about how we were going to handle the case. We would start with questioning the old suspects and then move onto family members of the victims. We would also question friends, family and lovers of the newest victim. Lastly we would see what forensics had turned up on the body. It was agreed that Kayano would continues through the files while Karma and me questioned the old suspects. I could feel her eyes on the back of my head as I left with Karma. We took a police car and he was driving.
'So a girlfriend?' said Karma.
'Yes' I said.
'I'm not surprised you've mate someone new. I was expecting it actually but I wasn't expecting it to be someone like her' he said.
'The fact that she's a cop?' I said.
'You know that's not it' he said.
'Well why not just come right out with it then?' I said.
'You've swapped teams is what I am saying' he said.
'By that do you mean that she's a woman?' I said.
'For fuck sake yes that is what I am talking about' said Karma 'you never told me you liked girls'. I didn't say anything so he continued 'does she know about your past then? About me and the other guys?'
'Karma it really is none of your business' I said.
'Right, I know it's just a surprise is all' he said 'but as long as you're happy I guess it really doesn't have anything to do with me'.
'It doesn't' I said. He stopped the car. We were outside Kunugigaoka University now to speak to Professor Asano. I followed Karma inside the building. Asano was a professor of Mathematics. He had been at this University for over ten years. He is at the very top of the suspect list for the B&R killer. We found him in one of his lectures. We stayed until the end. I wasn't really paying attention never had much of a head for maths. I loved English in School, in another life I would have been an English. It had been Karma who had been the mathematically one out of the two of us. One the lecture was over we headed down to speak with the Professor. He was a tall and powerfully built man with red hair. His eyes however struck him as rather dead looking. His brow furrowed as he took in our uniforms. The police uniform for doing this type of work was black trousers, a white shit and blue blazer. The blazer was sewn with the Police symbol of an Eagle. We kept our real badges attached to our belts along with our guns.
'What can I do for you police officers?' said Asano.
'The case on the Black and Red Church Killer has been re-opened due to a recent murder' said Karma 'you were questioned about this before ten years ago. We would like to talk some more about this'.
'Very well how about we do this in my office' said Asano 'officers?'
'Officer Shiota and Akanberan' said Karma.
Asano's office is a handsome room but small. It was also full of books. He sat behind his desk and we drew up sits. His desk was separating us from him. I narrowed my eyes. Suspects liked having a desk between them and us. It made things more impersonal, provided a barrier of protection. Psychological of course. I allowed Karma to do the questioning and stayed silent. Most of it was just standard and routine stuff.
'Your alibi in ten out of the twelve killings was your wife' said Karma 'would it be possible to speak with her?'
'No' said Asano 'she is dead'.
'I'm very sorry for your loss' said Karma. It was right then I saw it. A muscle in his jaw twitch causing him to frown. It lasted only a fraction of a second. My line of work requires one to be able to spot when people were lying. Most of the time I was right.
'You have a son as well?' said Karma.
'He and I are estranged from one another' said Asano we have not spoken in years. It looked like this was going to be very much a dead end.
'Any idea of where to find him?' said Karma.
'I'm afraid not' said Asano. Karma and I left feeling rather empty handed.
'So a dead wife and his only son doesn't speak to him' said Karma once we were back in the car 'I've always wondered what counts as a successful marriage but that is not it'.
'No it really isn't' I said.
'Right Nagisa so who is next on the list' said Karma. We spent the day questioning witnesses and other old suspects. The most recent murder victims parents and boyfriend-that one wasn't fun but we didn't gain anything solid. We broke for lunch feeling rather dejected and wore out. We stopped for sandwiches and juice. We had them in the car. Karma bought some doughnuts as a desert. Yeah the stereotype about police and doughnuts is more true then you would think. Then again fish and chips is also really popular with us in this city. I guess that makes us a blend between the Brits and Americans.
'So how did you and Kayane meet?' said Karma.
'Can we not do this' I said.
'It was just a question' said Karma 'we have to work together we might as well try to get along right?'
'Sorry this is just strange for me' I said.
'There are stranger things' said Karma 'it's only awkward if we make it so'.
'We mate through work, parking duty you know' I said.
'Right, makes sense how long have you two been together?' he said.
'Just over a year' I said 'what about you anyone in your life?'
'There was but that's over now' said Karma 'we were even living together and everything'.
'What happened?' I said.
'I don't really know it felt like we would be talking and this curtain would come down over his eyes and mind. I knew there were things he wasn't telling me. I'm not saying I had to know everything but it was like he was being crushed and wouldn't let me help him. Maybe I could have put it aside if it didn't come up with his substance issues. I tried sticking around but when he relapsed the last time I finally left' said Karma then he laughed 'sorry I did not mean to become so deep'.
'You're okay break ups are tough' I said 'when did you two part ways'.
'About two months ago' said Karma. I nodded. 'So I know we agreed it was none of my business but are you...straight?'
'I'm not straight Karma' I said 'there is such a thing as bisexuality you know'.
'Yes I know that' said Karma 'so bi huh guess that does explain a few things'. We sat in silence for a while.
'Does she know?' he said finally.
'After you two meeting I do have some explaining to do' I said 'but I have never lied to her about my sexuality. I just never told her about you. She knows I was engaged once but not if it was man or a woman or whatever'.
'When did you figure out you are bisexual?' he said 'you said you were gay back when we were together'. He took out a packet of cigs and offered me one. I didn't usually smoke but to hell with it.
'After we broke up I did a few crazy things to get over you' I said 'after that was over, I decided to start dating again. I signed up to online dating and I thought to myself why not try dating girls and thus here we are'.
'Just like that?' said Karma.
'Well, being gay was never exactly quite the right fit for me' I said 'but it was like there was no other options. By the time I learned what bisexuality was I was in love with you so I told myself really mattered any more. The truth was I wanted it to be just one or the other. No one likes a switch hitter not the gays and not the straights. So I tried to be one or the other but it just doesn't work like that'. We stayed silent.
'If it did then there would be far fewer gays never mind just bisexuals' said Karma 'shits not easy'.
'You think people would choose to be straight if they could?' I said.
'A lot of people would but I wouldn't' he said.
'Kayane is straight but is more of a feminist then any lesbian I've ever mate' I said. Karma laughed.
'The way you phrase things is funny' he said. I smiled. I had missed this, I had missed him. All it took was him coming back into my life to make me realize how much I missed him. We wouldn't be getting back together or anything like that but that didn't mean we couldn't be friends.
We arrived back and talked to Kayane about our efforts. She has been going through every file, news article and even fictional representations of the B&R Church killings with a comb. I decided to save my ideas about Asano until tomorrow when everyone was sharp. She had a few interesting idea but it was getting late and we all wanted to be home. Kayane linked arms with me as we walked to her apartment. She was behaving just as she had always done. It would have been nothing out of the ordinary except that Karma come back into my life. She knew something was up and was pretending that everything was normal. Just wait until we got to her apartment. I wasn't worried though. I knew I had done nothing wrong. As soon as the door closed behind us she turned to me.
'So who is he really?' she said.
'You remember I told you I was engaged once' I said. She paused. Then nodded for me to continue 'we fell out of contact after the engagement was broken off. I had no idea he would be transferring here'.
'Okay is that everything then' she said. I nodded. 'You never told me the full story, I will respect that. I hope though you will one day'.
'Is there anything else?' I said. She shook her head but her eyes closed. My conversation with Karma ran through my mind but I pushed it out of the way. She took my arm again and we decided to start making dinner. Everything went back to normal a little too quickly.
Karma
Well this is pretty. Go somewhere new to get over heartbreak and just find another older heartbreak. Never had I been any good at cooking. My last ex boyfriend had been and so is Nagisa. I liked men who could cook but I couldn't. So I got a Chinese. Most of the people from work I didn't know. Maybe coming here was a mistake. Nagisa, I remember always teasing him before and after he became my boyfriend. I heard someone pull out the chair beside me. Turning I was surprised to see Korosensi.
'Mind if I join you' he said.
'Not at all sir' I said.
'We're not in uniform no need for those formalities' he said 'I'm worried about you Karma'.
'Why you don't even know me?' I said.
'Maybe not but you're a member of my team, also I heard about what happened before you transferred here and about your past with Nagisa' he said.
'How did you find out about all that?' he said.
'Your previous commissioner and I had a little chat, he was worried so he called me. Also once I knew about that I did some reading on you from your reports from the police academy' he said 'I don't mean to invade on your privacy or life but you do seem lonely. You can talk to me if you want'. Karma paused and then finally nodded.
'I'm wondering if coming here is a big mistake' I said 'I left to get away from one bad situation and now I'm in another one. I really do like Nagisa and it was wonderful being around him again. But he's with someone new and I don't want to trudge up the past for him'.
'I understand all that but you see moving doesn't solve anything' Korosensi said 'your problems will only follow you'.
'So are you saying I should go back?' I said.
'No' said Korosensi 'that isn't facing the problem either besides going back is not how you solve things'.
'Then how do you solve having to deal with ex boyfriends' I said.
'Why not change your perspective' he said 'is Nagisa an ex boyfriend who hurt you and you hurt him? Or is he perhaps an old friend you have wanted to reconnect with for a long time?'
'I suppose it does depend on how you look at it' I said 'I use to enjoy teasing him so much'.
'Well go back to that' he said.
'Well yeah I guess I should' I said 'I did miss him a lot but there is one thing you're overlooking is he worth it?'
'I don't know enough to answer that for you' said Korosensi.
'Right' I said 'there are no easy answers to this shit is there'.
'No there aren't' Korosensi said. Our food arrived. We eat in silence. But before we parted ways I put out my hand to shake his.
'I heard a lot of good things about you sir' I said 'looks like they were true'. He grasped my hand in his to shake it but then jumped back in pain. I smiled before showing him the buzzer. 'Welcome to the real Karma'.
'A prankster' said Korosensi 'I will pay you back for you that'.
'I look forward to it' I said. Now I felt a tiny bit better. I did not move back to my old job. Instead I stayed and continued working with Nagisa and Kayane. The latter proving to be a really lovely girl. I mean that sincerely. Really I can see why Nagisa fell for her. Maybe I would if I was a heterosexual and she wasn't with him. She made Nagisa happy as well. I am happy for them but it always made me feel more lonely then when I saw other couples. But anyway even though I was settling in and working away with Nagisa and the others. There was still one problem. I missed my ex-boyfriend. Nagisa let me talk about it a lot. He would just nod and smile. He was always a good listener. He never asked me about the guys name. Thankfully because I didn't want to be spreading gossip about him. I knew there was something in his past that he wasn't telling me. After all you don't just relapse like for no reason.
'Why was the last time the final straw for you?' he said once.
'I guess I just ran out empathy' I said.
'That happens' he said.
'You know Nagisa you should just quite the force and become a therapist. I have the perfect skirt-suit at home for you' I said.
'I'm a guy and you know it' he said. He smiled at me. 'That's more like the Karma I remember'.
'Something I've been wondering when did you start putting your hair in pigtails?' Karma 'you use to wear it down'.
'Kayane started tying it up when we first mate, I liked it because it was something different' said Nagisa. I was about to make a move to pull out the elastics and run my hands through his long blue hair but I caught myself. He is with someone else. I throw away my chance with him after all. Besides I can be happy for him can't I?
Nagisa
My friend Tomohito Sugino-who I nicknamed Tomo-and I have a tradition of going to the pub every Saturday just after work. We both thankfully got Sundays off. It was a relief really to have to him to talk to about Karma. He and I had been friends since the Academy. He knew all about Karma. Tomo was a lot taller then-around Karma's height actually- with blue black hair and eyes. He was a big fan of baseball and if he wasn't police his career of choice would have been as a professional sports man. We sat in our usual corner with our usual cocktails (I swear he is the gayest heterosexual I have ever mate and I'm the one who's Queer).
'So' said Tomo 'how do you feel with Karma being back in the picture?'
'It gave me a bit of shock but I'm alright about it he's had a tough time recently and he is a good guy really so I'm okay with it' I said.
'What about Kayane?' he said.
'I told her about who he is and our past' I said 'well most of it. She's fine with it all'.
'If you say so' he said.
'What's that supposed to mean?' I said.
'Do you love Kayane?' he said.
'That's rather personal' I said.
'You're dodging the question' he said 'you were in love with Karma once, you might still be for all I know. Seeing what you were like back when you and him broke up...it really is difficult to believe you're okay working with him and your girlfriend' he said.
'It doesn't matter what you believe' I said 'I'm telling you how it is'.
'Alright I won't keep pressing the matter' he said 'speaking of work how is the cold case going?'
'There is a reason why it is cold' I said. He snorted at that.
'I take it that means it is going badly' he said.
'Yeah even the fresh part of it' I said.
'Who was the victim and how did they die' he said.
'They were found in the church, with the same old symbol branded on them' I said 'we should have the results of the autopsy soon. Hopefully that will give us some kind of lead. I would hate for this one to be put back on the shelf...again'.
'Especially after doing all that questioning with the ex' he said. My phone was vibrating. I took it out.
'Speak of the devil' I said answering it 'Karma what's up?'
'The autopsy report is back' he said.
'And?' I said.
'Well this new homicide isn't just some copycat' said Karma 'they were all killed with the same weapon meaning that it is either the same killer or they have some kind of relationship' this just keeps on getting more painful. She will be delighted, I have to talk to her it's the only way. 'Karma I'll come back to the station as soon as I can I just got to make a call' I said. Hanging up I grimaced at Tomo in an apologetic way and then called my mother.
'Nagisa dear' she said 'how are you?'
'Mom' I said bracing myself 'I've been put on a new case'.
'Well I'm not surprised you are so smart and-' she started but I interrupted her.
'It's the last case you worked on' I said. Silence.
'You don't mean that case?' she said.
'I'm afraid so' I said 'I need you tell me everything and anything you can do to help me, not over the phone. I will come by tomorrow'.