Nobody Can Punish Me Except Me
Seamus POV :O
When Walker was pointing that gun at the two of us, me and my son.I don't think him shooting me would be any punishment, I was dead the moment I touched my son, so if he shot me I'll almost thank him. However though him shooting my son was not something I wanted to happen; believe it or not. If you don't I would not blame you. I sometimes don't believe me. As soon as Walker cocked the gun,I was almost begging for him to just shoot me inside my head. Outside I was begging for him to let me live. Brendan could not see my weakness,my weakness being that I want to die. I do feel guilty about what I put Brendan through, though I never say it through Walker gave me no choice, it was do or die. I refused point blank that I ever touched him as Walker kept prodding me and prodding me.
Brendan begging me to tell him why. How could I do that to my son? Its a question I been asking myself for years, I cant answer myself either. My life is no life to live, I don't know when it all went wrong.I wish I could go back and change the version of events though I can't,nobody can now. Brendan told me that I scared him as a child, telling me how the walls felt like they were closing him on him as he heard my footsteps.
I never wanted to be the monster under the bed, or the monster in the closet I wanted to be the person who scared all those of.I wanted to be the hero, yet I'm the villain the monster,the devil. It dose not matter which word you use to describe me because I'm all of them. I know,nobody needs to tell me. Brendan was going to shoot me when Walker untied him.I was begging my own son for mercy. He was not going to kill me, that is one way I would not want to perish in.
As soon as Walker mentioned Cheryl though it all changed.I came from begging to live to begging him to kill me I kept saying, after I was forced to say sorry. I wanted to say sorry for so many years,now I have and yet this is where I'm begging for him to kill me so Cheryl will live, Brendan refused as I had to watch him and Walker having a brawl,the gun sliding across the carpet and Walker running out.I could hear sirens outside,I did not think he could get very far.
I mangered to untie myself,as Brendan helped me up. God knows why,I don't deserve nothing from him. I hear the door go open,with Cheryl and Steven in the door way. I don't care about Steven, he is not my problem. I was so relived to see Cheryl,my heart went at normal speed when I saw her.
Fin. Yeah I cant do POVs.