The fire raged higher and higher in the nights sky, firemen running in all directions as they fought to get the flaming blaze under control. Our now smaller family sat on the bonnet of one of the many police cars in the area, staring off into the distance as we remembered the loved one we'd just lost. Our father was holding my baby sister as I clung to his sleeve , seeking comfort and reassurance. Tears cascaded down my cheeks as all my emotions were brought to the surface.
We didn't know it now, but due to this tragic event our lives were being planned out for us. Our worlds were about to be turned upside down and our lives were about the become a living hell. Our lives would never be the same again and we would never be able to go back to our old lives.
Our father would soon become engulfed in self-pity and pain and leave me, a four year old child, to grow up ahead of time and do the best I could at picking up the pieces to our now broken family. Finding his only form of relief from the buzz that can be found at the bottom of the bottle, handing me the responsibility of raising my sister.
My baby sister, Samantha, would never really know what it is like to live without a mother because she would always have me there to help her. She would always pray that we would all get through our ordeals altogether, as a family. But she would eventually move off to college, leaving me and our father behind.
Then there would be me. Only able to take my form of release by isolating myself from the world around me where my own thoughts would be allowed to run wild and free, where my emotions could be allowed to break through the near indestructible walls I will near to retreat behind.
But for now, we allowed ourselves to release all of our emotions for one of the last times. In a few days our father would pack up everything we would need and we would hit the road, moving from one motel to the next, never staying in one place for too long. This one event would be the only thing needed to chance our lives.
It would change them in ways you could never imagine.
Change in a way we never asked for.
In a way we could never forget.