An Endless Nightmare
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters and the universe belong to J.K.Rowling. The plot belongs to Sammael Sin. I own nothing.
Chapter One
More Than Solitude
It was a sunny afternoon in a suburb of England. A little boy has just awakened on long bench in a small church. He slowly used his long, frail arms to help himself into a sitting position. His eyelids reluctantly opened, his two black, bloodshot eyes obvious said that he had been crying ceaselessly all day. His gaze fell hopelessly at the cross as he began to kneel, saying the same prayer again and again...
As it was getting dark, he stood up, moving his weak, sore and swollen body beneath the baggy clothes back to Spinner's End.
Severus Snape was an 11-year-old boy. He was very small and skinny, a bit too small for a boy at his age, a look that resembled a malnourished child muggles have on telly asking for charity but with an overgrowth head. He always looked pale like a patient on a fatal disease. He wore shoes 3 sizes too big for his feet and old clothes from his father.
Overall, this vision seemed to be made for people to mock him as an extra-terrestrial, and not encouraged anyone to be too friendly with him.
… pathetic … needless to say …
"You're home, Sevie?" the voice was deep and toneless. But as he saw the smiling face of the voice's owner, Severus jumped into the house and received a tight hug from Eileen Prince Snape, his mother.
"Mom.. please tell me that you have lied to me this morning."
"You know I never lie, my dear, even a lie to make you feel better."
Severus pulled himself off the embrace, his black eyes shone a greatly hurtful feeling, a croaked voice spoken out of his thin lips.
"Why.."
"Because I was.. I am… an evil woman. I didn't marry your father because of love. I married him…for the person I love."
"What about me? Do you love me as much as you love… her?"
"Do you know, sweetheart.." said Eileen tenderly, her black eyes were emotional, yet mysterious as a deep well. "I'd never dream of loving anybody more than I've loved her, until I knew I had you."
The same black eyes of the little boy widened.
"Yes, I agreed to marry your father merely for you, darling." said Eileen as her long, thin fingers caressed the sunken face of Severus softly. "And now.. it's time to make another sacrifice for another one I love the most."
"And what about me? What am I supposed to do without you?"
"Sevie, dear, you've still got Toby."
Severus stared at his feet silently.
"Don't you love your father, sweetheart?"
"I do. But he never loves me back, does he?"
"That's what he says, actually he really loves you.
If not, he might have run away already… he must have run away long ago."
Severus stayed awake up late that night, lying carelessly in his bed, smelling a faint, perished odour from the water nearby, pondering about the mysterious letter from today's morning.
It was a beautiful day. He woke up early to get the post as usual, but things were unusual that day when he noticed a letter addressed to him .. an ancient-looking letter as if from the medieval age.. still.. he felt strangely familiar to it. His shaking hands started to tear when a thought strucked him that it could be mistake, he normally received no post at all, and being all too scared of Tobias Snape, he went to his mother.
Eileen read the letter slowly twice before she got up and proposed a morning walk.
"Sevie, sweetheart" said Eileen softly under the clear blue sky "I want you to listen very carefully … I'm going to die, love."
It was like standing in front of God himself in the judgment day and being told that he had to live eternally in the most horrible hell. He stood stunned before his mother, crying loudly like a baby.
"Nooooo!!" his thin arms and fragile hands tried desperately to hold her tight, tears sprung out of his eyes. "No, you're lying, you're not dying … you're not going to die."
"I have to die and I am going to." said Eileen slowly but determinedly. "I need to save Freya's life."
"And who is this Freya?" asked Severus, "Why do you have to die for someone?"
"Freya was my lover, dear, it all happened before you were born."
Severus gave a jerk. Eileen continued.
"She was a very special girl, my Freya. Since the first day we've met, I've always known I could die for her, the girl … the woman I'm so in love with."
"And you'll leave me and Dad? Don't you love him? Don't you love me?"
"I love you, Severus; I love you…so much. But it's another kind of love with Freya. I know I should feel this love with your father but I just can't. Freya is the one for me, like the only one for your father could only be Matthew Evans."
At that moment, it seemed like the world had shattered into pieces for Severus Snape. The next thing he knew, he was awaking at the church with extremely bloodshot eyes.
A loud veil has awakened him this time. He stomped out of his room and ran quietly downstairs; searching for the source of noise, pausing halfway down as he realized it was yet another fight of his parents.
"It's been years now! And you're still in touch with the wife of that bloody Potter?"
"Look who's talking…" Eileen retorted back. She looked so calm, unlike in other times. "You… you still love Evans too, don't you? It was first love. It's unforgettable for anyone, Tobias Snape."
Tobias felt his mind reeling rapidly as he recognized the pallid face looking back at him. The same frightened visage of his wife he had grown accustomed to .. has gone, it was the haughty, cold and emotionless expression he saw the first time he met her.
He could feel the pride of the Princes shine through her deep black eyes. Before he couldn't overpower her logically anymore, his strong hands grabbed her neck instinctively and his big arms held her lean body tight.
"No!! Dad!! Don't hurt mom!!"
Tobias Snape released his wife as he turned to his son grudgingly instead and punched him hard in the face, making Severus screamed and kneeled in pain.
Severus helped himself up absent-mindedly as blood made its way down his chin, wondering why Eileen who always protected him was still standing there quietly.
In a flash of light, he thought he glimpsed sadness and guilt in his father's green eyes above the crook nose, but had gone as fast as it came.
"I won't… ever let him go to that freak school."
"Severus is a true descendant of the Princes, he has every right to learn and control his power." said Eileen quietly, now she didn't look like Eileen as his wife at all. Her voice echoed powerfully in the small living room. "Tomorrow I will escort him to London. He needs stuffs for his new school."
"And I will never pay a pence for that place of bullshit." said Tobias angrily.
"I've got money and I don't need yours at all."
"What? You've been hiding my money around?"
"It's MY money!"
Severus stared crossly at both his parents, he had no clues to what was going on. Tobias, at last, resorted himself in the only mot-eaten sofa, turned his back from his son's bleeding face.
"Sod off…"
Severus did not dare move an inch, but that irritated his father even more.
"Just sod off!" yelled Tobias. "Why are you still here?! Stay away from me!!"
Tears suddenly welled-up in his midnight black eyes. He ran away, away from the painful truth.
… His family was breaking down …
… What should he do …?
… Oh, god .. What was he supposed to do …?
"Father! Father! Open up, please!"
The church gates were opened. There revealed a kind-looking priest, he was tall and thin, his silvery hair glowed by the moonlight, his silvery eyes stared bemusedly at the small figure.
"Severus? Oh, what happened to your face?" an anxious expression were shown in the silvery orbs, before turning to sympathy. "I see, it's Snape again, isn't it?"
His long fingers touched the bruises softly. The head covered with black, greasy hair nodded, then answered with a sob, tears suffused in his eyes.
"M-my dad .. he threw me out. H-he .. he hates me. H-he said he doesn't want to s-see me again."
The priest, being the boy's godfather, sighed, trying to console him.
"No, son. Tobias wasn't being truthful, I know it. When you were born, you see, he was … overjoyed."
"But he makes it hard to understand." said Severus tearfully.
"One day … you will understand."
How is it? Do you like it? Don't you like it? Please, please, PLEASE review!!
That's the only way how I know to improve…
A/N This fic was translated from 'My Wlord's Severus', a Harry Potter fanfic in Thailand written by Sammael Sin.
It was written shortly after HBP so there were some mistakes according to DH's Prince's Tale.
I hope you try to look past it and enjoy!! PLEASE!! I'm serious.
It's great for some people like me who can't get enough of the misery in Snape's life as the Prince's Tale is my favorite chapter. :)
Next chapter : we're meeting Lily at Diagon Alley, stay tuned!