A/N: So this is a little oneshot. It's different because I don't think I've written a LWD story that wasn't Dasey, and this isn't Dasey (obviously isn't Anti-Dasey, it just doesn't have it). Anyway, this is basically a song fic without all the lyrics messed up in between everything. There's a little bit of the lyrics at the beginning and end. The song is "Should've Said No" by Taylor Swift...That's an awesome song. And it's a country song and I don't really like country all that much. Obviously if you've heard the song you'll pick up on the references to the lyrics that are shown here. It's about Sam cheating on Casey and it came to me when I started listening to the song...So here goes...R&R! Thanks! -Mac
Disclaimer: I don't own Life with Derek. The lyrics belong to Taylor Swift's song "Shouldn've Said No".
Should've Said No
"You should've said no, you should've gone home. You should've thought twice before you let it all go."
No. It's a simple word. It is only two letters. It is easily pronounced. So easy, in fact, that I'm going to say it right now.
"No." I shook my head to emphasize my point. "No, Sam."
"Casey, just let me explain." It came out as more of a whine than a request, which means he had crossed the line from reasoning to begging.
No. It's a simple enough concept. I don't understand why some people find it so difficult to excercise it. I don't understand why he couldn't use it. If he had been so agains what had happened, why didn't he use it?
"There's nothing you can say. Nothing can change this." I replied, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over. I had already cried enough tears over him. I refused to cry anymore. Not now. Not here.
"I know that Case, I know that." Sam responded, shifting onto his other foot to block my way again. "I made a mistake."
School had just let out awhile before this scene broke out, though this all started yesterday. I had found out yesterday. I was currently standing on the front steps of our school. Sam was in front of me, blocking my path to the parking lot where my car was parked. My getaway. He wouldn't budge, he wouldn't let me escape. A small crowd had gathered around to watch our fight play out--as if we were part of some soap opera broadcast for their viewing pleasure. I knew Derek and Emily were somewhere behind me, mainly because I was their ride home.
I just wanted to go home. I wanted to get away from him so I could get over this and move on. He could at least allow me that courtesy. He had already destroyed what was left of our relationship with a single blow, he could at least let me heal instead of clinging to the ruins.
"Yes, you did make a mistake. I'm glad you can admit that." I murmured. "But it doesn't change anything."
"Casey, please, if I could take it all back...Casey I would do it." Sam looked as if I had wounded him. I hadn't done anything to hurt him, he had done it to himself--to me. "In a second, Casey. In a second, I would."
"But you can't take it back, Sam. You can't make it go away. You should've said no. You never should have let it happen in the first place." I shook my head. "I don't have to listen to this."
Didn't he realize that he had hurt me enough already? Why did have to keep this going the way he was? I didn't want to sit around and listen to his typecast excuses of how she meant nothing to him and how he wasn't thinking straight. I didn't want to hear how I meant the world to him and how he couldn't lose me. It wouldn't have happened if he really cared about me that much. He wouldn't have let it happen. I didn't need these pitiful attempts at justifications. There was no justification for what he did.
"Casey, I was weak, I know..." Same mumbled, "We can fix this. I know we can."
"It never should have happened. There shouldn't be anything to fix." I stepped closer to Sam. "Let me go by."
"Casey, please hear me out." Sam pleaded, not moving out of my way. "Casey, I love you. I didn't want to hurt you, I didn't mean to. We can work this out. Give me a chance."
Just the fact that he could even ask me for a second chance...I can't forgive him yet. I don't know what he expects of me. I can't forgive him. I can't be with him. He thinks he's so smooth. So sly. He thinks If he says all the right things I'll fall at his feet. I'm smarter than that. I've got a resolve he won't be able to chip away anytime soon. I don't know why he thinks I'm that naive, that...that dumb.
And even if I was, did he think everything would just go back to normal? Like nothing even happened? Did he think that was possible? Even if I thought we could work through this, it would never be the same. Not like it was before. Just looking at him felt wrong. Everything about us seemed wrong now.
"You know all the right things to say, don't you Sam? But they're not going to work on me. Do you honestly expect me to believe that we could ever be the same?" I questioned. I sounded calm, but inside I was crumbling to pieces. "And your chance..."
"Yes, Casey?" He actually sounded hopeful.
He had a chance to make things right. The idea that he could even think about doing what he did, the idea that he could ever get in a situation like he landed in, was enough to hurt me. If it had stopped at that--a possibility of happening--I might have been able to work it out. If he had stopped it...maybe. But he hadn't. That was his chance. The point where he could have said yes or no. If he had just said no and done the right thing we could've got past this. But he didn't say yes...now there was no chance.
"Your chance, it was just seconds before you did what you did. The moment that you said yes, you gave up that chance." I replied, trying my best to stay strong. "You should've said no, and then you might still have me."
"Casey..." Sam said, confused.
"You don't get a second chance." I clarified. "After this...You don't get one."
"Casey, Casey...Please Casey...This isn't how I wanted this to happen. This isn't how I wanted you to find out."
"Were you going to tell me?" I asked, and watched as Sam turned his gaze to the ground. In a firmer tone, I demanded, "Were you going to tell me?"
Sam refused to look me in the eye. Or look at me at all, for that matter. He remained completely silent. I took that as my answer.
"Then this is exactly how you wanted me to find out!" I exclaimed. "Did you think I wouldn't find out? That you could keep it from me? Because you had to know that I would find out..."
"Casey, it wasn't supposed to be this way." Sam responded.
"No it wasn't." I agreed. "You weren't supposed to sleep with another girl. You weren't supposed to lie about it. I wasn't supposed to stumble upon it, as someone I don't even know gossiped about it. It shouldn't be this way, no. But you made a choice to make it this way. You have to deal with the consequences. I can't be with you after what you did."
"But Casey..."
"No."
"Casey..."
"You shouldn't be asking me for forgiveness. You shouldn't be thinking of me now. You should have been thinking of me then. I shouldn't have to be left wondering why you would do this? What could be wrong with me that you would have to go to someone else?"
"There's nothing wrong with you, Case." Sam replied, shaking his head. "You're perfect."
"Maybe you should have thought about that before." I didn't bother to correct him, though I knew I was far from perfect. "It's over Sam. Just let me by..."
Finally, Sam stepped aside, letting me get by. I took the opportunity to head for the parking lot. The footsteps I heard following me, I assumed belonged to Derek and Emily. I was at the bottom of the steps, just feet away from the asphalt of the parking lot, when I turned around. I let the question, that I couldn't resist asking, slip from my lips. I looked Sam directly in the eyes as I waited for an answer.
"Was it worth it?" I questioned, "Was she worth this?"
Sam met my gaze. He didn't look away, but he didn't answer either. He remained silent as I finally gave up on him.
"No?" I said. "That's what I thought."
I turned my back to him and continued into the parking lot. I walked away from him, everything we once had, and everything I thought we had.
No. It's a simple word. A simple concept. It's only two little letters. It's easily pronounced. I have never been one to say it all the time. I hadn't known if I was going to have the strength to use it today, but now that I have I am going to stick to it.
I reached my car and unlocked the doors for Derek and Emily, who were shortly behind me. As Derek slipped into the passenger seat and Emily got into the backseat, I sat in the driver's seat. We shut all our doors, put on our seatbelts, I started the car and then I froze. I sat there quietly, not moving. I felt Derek's eyes on me though he said nothing at first. I hoped that he wouldn't. I could just hear his sarcastic insults and 'I told you so's.' What came out of his mouth surprised me.
"You did the right thing, Case."
"Did I?" I tilted my head so I could see Derek.
"Of course." Derek nodded.
"You guys were having trouble long before any of this happened." Emily piped up.
Derek looked surprised at her comment, but he continued, "He doesn't deserve you."
This was the little bit of comfort that I was going to get. And it did make me feel a decent bit better. As much as it could I guess. I replied as I began to pull out of the parking space.
"He should've said no."
"You should've said no, baby and you might still have me."
A/N2: That was kinda pointless but whatever...Still Review! I'll love you!
So, I haven't been getting emails for alerts and stuff, so I figure everyone else hasn't either...If you're on my alerts list for this story or me as an author (and you're not getting them)...and you'd like to get them personally from me in the meantime (cause I'm probably going to be getting a bunch done soon) just email me at the address that's on the site (you know the little highlighted word email). It should give you my personal email address and if you send me yours I'll personally send you an email update sort of thing...Anyway...Review!! You know I'd love you for it..Thanks again! -Mac