25
Sheldon heard the door open and sat up straighter. He hadn't realized he'd dozed off, but seeing he was lounging in his spot, he must have. Looking at his watch, he noticed it had been nearly two hours since the guys had departed. Leonard had left with Raj to crash on his sofa since the baby shower was still going strong when gaming night broke up.
Rubbing his eyes, Sheldon hoped it was Amy coming into the apartment and not some stranger. His mother had already informed him she would be staying at a hotel this time around as the extra room was now a nursery.
"Sheldon?" his name was a whisper.
"I'm here," he said, reaching up to turn on the lamp, giving his eyes another swipe in the process. He yawned and looked up at her. "Did you have a good time?" Amy was practically bursting with the smile she was sporting, and the sight of her so excited shifted something in his chest.
"It was wonderful! We played games, and talked and opened gifts, well, I did anyway. Wait until you see all the loot we got!" It was then he noticed the large bags she was carrying, spilling over with stuffed animals, and blankets and toys. He was on his feet in an instant, trying to relieve her of her burden. "No, that's okay. I've got it." He took the larger of the two despite her protests, placing it on the coffee table. "Did everyone go home already?" she asked.
"Yes. Howard has turned quite domestic and kept whining about how late it was getting. I think Raj's complaints weren't helping. He kept moping about not being invited to your shower."
"Well, no offense to Raj, but I'm glad Penny kicked him out."
Sheldon was confused. "I thought you liked it when he hung out with you all on girl's night."
"I do. But this was different. I wanted to be with just women. A baby shower is a traditional time of female bonding, talking about children and childbirth. It would have been strange to have him there."
"But he's your Lamaze coach," Sheldon pointed out. "He's going to be there when the baby is born, I would think it would have been beneficial for him to hear about the experience from other women."
Amy had crossed to the kitchen, filling the kettle, placing it on the stove. "It just would have been weird, okay?"
"Fine." Following her to the kitchen, Sheldon thought about her words. "Would it have been weird if I'd been there?"
Amy seemed to be contemplating for a moment, then said, "Yes."
"Interesting." Another stretch of silence. "Why?"
"Because it just would have been." Amy replied. "Besides, you're not going to be at the birth, and all the graphic descriptions would have made you sick."
Amy wasn't exactly angry, but he was perplexed. Was she mad because talk of all the squishy and bloody stuff did make him nauseous? He didn't want her upset. In fact, it was the last thing he wanted, for many reasons.
He'd been waiting for her to come home, not so he could witness the gifts, but so he could give her one of his own. Sheldon thought about when the best time to give it to her would be, and decided this night, which was all about Amy and the baby, would be perfect .
He was proud of himself for having found a token to give her that expressed what he couldn't say. She wanted him to be excited about the baby, and little by little he was becoming more accepting of the idea.
Sheldon had been walking from the bus stop when he'd seen it. He'd never even noticed there was a jewelers on Los Robles, and he must have passed the shop, unseeing, hundreds of times. The street lamps were just coming on and an object in the window caught the light, practically winking at him. Stepping closer, Sheldon saw it was a pendant, and he began to smile. It was exactly what he never knew he wanted, and Sheldon didn't hesitate a moment before entering the store to buy it.
Now the small, cardboard box rested in his pocket, as it had all evening, since he was unsure when Amy would be returning. Now she seemed anxious, and he was the cause.
"Amy," he said, placing his hands on her shoulders. She was standing with her back to him, facing the stove, and jumped when he made contact. Immediately, Sheldon dropped his hands.
"I'm sorry!" she exclaimed as she turned around. "I wasn't expecting you to touch me."
"I'm sorry, too. I should have let you know I was behind you." She was staring up at him, head slightly cocked, looking like she was trying to figure something out. Sheldon locked his gaze with hers, and for a moment they simply stared at each other. She had the oddest expression on her face, and for some reason, he found himself wanting to kiss her. More and more he caught himself battling with his attraction to her. Ever since the day she'd made Rice Krispie treats, it was if a dam had burst, all of his feelings breeching the banks, washing him away on a tide of emotion. He didn't know why he kept fighting. He knew Amy wouldn't object if he kissed her, she was always angling to get him to. Why was it so difficult for him to let go? Licking his lips, swallowing to try to relieve his suddenly dry throat, Sheldon all but whispered,
"I have something for you too." Now he could read her expression. She was surprised.
"You bought me a gift for the baby shower?"
"No, it isn't or rather wasn't for your shower or I would have wrapped it and sent it with my mother." Sheldon walked back over to the sofa and patted the spot next to him. "Come sit down." Amy was still eyeing him with caution and it was causing a nervous twisting in his stomach. What if she doesn't like it? She'd just settled herself next to him when she jumped up.
"What now?" he sighed with exasperation. He'd gone over this moment so many times in his mind, he wanted it to be perfect. He hadn't counted on Amy bolting every time he tried to give her the gift.
"The kettle," she said, clicking the stove off. "The water was about to boil. As long as it's hot, would you still like some tea?"
Taking a deep inhale, Sheldon tried to find some patience. "Fine." In truth, he could use something to calm his nerves. He'd been so sure Amy would love the pendant when he'd seen it, but now he wasn't so sure. She didn't wear jewelry, other than the plain wedding band, and maybe she wouldn't like a necklace.
"Sheldon, what's wrong with you? You're so jumpy. Something happen at your gaming night?"
"No, it's not that," he said, accepting the mug Amy offered him. "Can we just sit down?"
"You're making me nervous," she confessed. "You're sure nothing's wrong? It's so unusual for you to have fallen asleep on the couch when you could have gone to bed."
Sheldon was looking down, fiddling with the tag on his tea bag. "Maybe I don't like it when you're not there." Peeking back up at her, Sheldon was surprised to see how moved Amy seemed. She was blinking back tears, biting her lip. "Well, I've gotten used to you being there, and you know how much I hate having a routine disrupted." Amy just nodded, taking a sip of her tea.
"What did you want to tell me?" Her voice was husky with unshed tears, and he found he needed to swallow in order to speak.
"As I said," he coughed, "I got you a gift as well." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the white box. It was obviously some kind of jewelry, and Amy's trembling fingers had gone to her lips.
"Oh, my." Looking up from his hands to his eyes, she whispered, "You bought me jewelry?" Sheldon simply nodded, handing her the box.
"I saw this the other day and thought of you. I. . .I hope you like it." Sheldon couldn't recall when he'd been so nervous. Normally, he would thoroughly map all possible reactions to be prepared for any outcome. This time, however, he just wasn't sure what she would do. He watched Amy's smallish fingers lifting the lid, and saw her freeze, the lid of the box in her right hand, the bottom in her left.
"Sheldon. . . ." she breathed, staring at the pendant nestled on a bed of cotton. He recalled how elegant the lines were and how he'd envisioned the thin silver chain gracing her neck. Amy pulled the necklace from the box and he gazed fondly at the three stylized figures that formed an asymmetrical heart.
"It's you, me and the baby," he explained when she still hadn't said anything. Her hands were shaking, and he took the necklace from her before she dropped it. "Would you like me to put it on you?" Amy continued to be speechless, but was nodding enthusiastically. She turned around, lifting her hair to aid him in clasping the delicate chain. Once hooked, Sheldon couldn't stop his fingers from playing along the curve of her neck. Her skin was so warm, that his hands felt cool against her. He heard her suck in a breath, but didn't remove his palms. Instead, he smoothed them over her shoulders, coming to rest on her upper arms. Amy twisted in his grasp, tears once more shining in her eyes.
"Do you like it?" He was still uncertain in the wake of her silence.
Amy's hand rested over the pendant, clasping it to her chest. "I love it," she croaked, no longer trying to rein in her tears. "I love you," she said, launching herself at him.
Sheldon should have been prepared for this particular reaction, but he wasn't, and again found himself knocked back against the arm of the sofa. When he felt the hard frame of the couch connecting with his lower back, he decided he needed to add another pillow for the next time Amy came flying at him. Then Amy's words began to seep into his consciousness. I love you. He wasn't sure how to process that when the rest of his cognizant brain was dealing with Amy pressed up against him, kissing him so hard he thought his jaw would crack.
"It's perfect, Sheldon," she murmured, running her hands over his chest. He'd started to push her away, but Amy was having none of it. He felt her tongue sweep across his bottom lip, and when he started to protest, he found her mouth on his again, tongue mingling with his own. For a moment he struggled against her, when a wave of something seemed to crash over him. It's like that night, he thought briefly, remembering how everything had seemed so surreal. He'd blamed the alcohol, but now he realized it was Amy he should be blaming.
The struggle with her was nothing compared to the war waging within himself. He didn't want this! He didn't want her touching him, did he? And. . . .Oh, God! A zing flashed through him as she shifted, pressing her pelvis against his. When our bathing suit areas mash together, boy howdy is it magic. And it was. Still, when he opened his mouth to protest, instead of an injunction, a moan escaped him. He didn't return her declaration of love, instead her name was his exhale.
"Amy. . . ."
She continued to kiss him and cognitive abilities were receding by the second. His mind was spinning, he was dizzy and he couldn't decide whether he wanted her to stop or not. When she pulled away for a moment, he found himself struggling for breath, blood pounding in his ears. Sheldon swallowed again, gazing at Amy only long enough to realize the desire in her eyes was no doubt being reflected back at her. He was the one to move forward this time. Tentatively, his lips touched hers, and she was the one sighing. The kiss intensified. He intensified it, and the knots in his stomach twisted even tighter. His fingers were in her hair, skimming through the strands, holding her to him. He could kiss her forever.
As soon as the thought flashed through his mind, she was gone, pushing herself off him.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to . . . . I shouldn't have thrown myself at you like that. It's just that. . . . Oh, Sheldon, this is so sweet, so perfect. . . ." Amy was speechless, holding the pendant, gazing at it with such affection, she was once again overcome. He couldn't have wished for a better reaction. She had resettled herself next to him, and Sheldon found he missed her warm weight, the feel of her stomach and the baby pressing into him.
"Don't cry," he said, reaching over to wipe an errant tear. "I gave it to you to make you happy."
Sheldon's fingers were automatically wiping the moisture on the fabric of his pants, until he realized what he was doing. Amy would be upset at the action, believing he thought her full of germs. Before he could apologize, Amy's arms were around his neck "I am happy, Sheldon."
Again he didn't push her away. What surprised him the most was that he truly didn't want to. She felt right in his arms. He should be assigning her a strike with all the unscheduled touching. She should have to take his class three times over just for her actions this evening, but somehow, he didn't care. He kissed her neck. Sweeping her hair over her shoulder, Sheldon pressed his lips to the soft skin just below her ear, smiling against her increased pulse. As her breathing hitched, he trailed down the column of her throat, kissing the chain resting on Amy's pale skin.
Her breaths were raspy, and her eyes were closed. Sheldon combed his fingers through her hair once more, relishing the silky feel, and brought her head and lips to his once more. The action pushed her breast into his hand, and swallowing his fear, he squeezed gently. Never would he have thought Amy could make the sound she just produced. Somewhere between a moan and a cry, the sound was the most arousing thing he'd ever heard. Everything about her was fueling his desire. He was losing the battle with himself. Why did he keep holding himself back? This is what he'd been striving for, a way to touch her, a way to make Amy happy, and by extension, making himself happy.
It feels good, he thought. The fear was still there, but little by little, it was diminishing. Trailing his hand over her abdomen, Sheldon couldn't help but feel awe mixed with apprehension. This is what happened the last time I gave into my base instincts. Would something equally life-altering happen if he succumbed again?
"Oh, Sheldon," Amy moaned, pressing herself further into him, and now she was the one kissing him. At the same moment, they broke apart, each inhaling, trying to replenish starved lungs. Running his palm over her cheek, Sheldon met Amy's gaze. Within the depths of her eyes, he saw more emotions than he could track. There was desire, certainly, but there was also the love she'd just proclaimed. He'd seen that look before, and suspected what it represented, but he wouldn't allow himself to dwell on it, because if he did, he knew his eyes would be reflecting the same emotion. And he wasn't ready to admit to it. Not to himself, not to her. It was the ultimate surrender and he wasn't ready to capitulate. Not even to her.
Sheldon had been so lost in his thoughts, he hadn't noticed Amy moving off him until she was standing next to the sofa, offering him her hand. Sitting up, he accepted her silent invitation with another wave of trepidation. He may be naive, but he knew what she was asking. He wasn't sure if he'd reach the conclusion she was hoping for, but he could try for a step in the right direction. For her. Only for her.
Sheldon stood, giving her a slight nod, and watched as Amy walked towards their bedroom, glancing over her shoulder as she went. He smiled, hoping to reassure her.
"I'm just going to get the lights." Her returning smile was shy, and for all her bravado, Sheldon realized she was as nervous as he was, which in a strange way, lent him some comfort.
Finishing the routine of closing the apartment, Sheldon approached the door to his room. Would he find Amy naked, under the sheets, waiting for him? Now his breath was coming in short little pants and he felt his heart racing, but not in the way it had been before. He was terrified and afraid he would hyperventilate, passing out on the threshold to his room. Would Amy rush to him, naked, trying to revive him?
Moments ago this seemed like a good idea. Now he was not so sure. His palms were sweating, and no amount of swiping over his pants seemed to dissipate the moisture. He couldn't stand there forever. Besides the need for his REM cycle, he knew Amy was waiting for him and it wouldn't be long before she came to see where he was. For a fleeting moment he thought to escape across the hall, but Leonard wasn't there, and how would he explain he could sleep in an apartment with his neighbor, who was a woman, but not his own wife?
"Sheldon?"
The sound of her voice jolted him from his paralysis. "Coming," he squeaked, pushing the door open. To his great relief, Amy was fully dressed, lying on top of the comforter, head propped in her hand. Her "come hither" pose caused him to swallow again as he slowly approached the bed.
Sheldon tried to move forward, but he just couldn't make himself take a step closer to the bed. Closing his eyes, he tried to summon the will to lie down next to her. She's not going to hurt you or make you do something you don't want. She loves you. It was probably that which scared him the most. I can't disappoint her.
Amy looked up at him. He expected her to be angry, as she often was when he'd upset her. But she had a warm, understanding expression on her face, like you would for an animal who didn't comprehend your words or actions.
"It's okay," she said. "Let's just go to sleep."
No, he thought. I'm not going to take the easy way out. I'm her husband. I need to act like it. "I. . .don't want to." Sheldon poked at the comforter, not meeting her gaze. "I. . . I think maybe we should try again." He looked up then and saw Amy watching him.
"Okay," she nodded, still scrutinizing his actions. He sat on the opposite side of the bed, and taking in a lungful of air, reached over and grasped her hand. As if they'd planned the move, they lay back at the same moment, staring at the ceiling. Slowly, Sheldon began to run his thumb over her's, their hands still clasped. Amy was frozen next to him, allowing him to decide what direction they took.
Rolling on to his right side, Sheldon's gaze met Amy's and he thought she looked as apprehensive as he felt. This shouldn't be so hard, he thought, and decided that was the problem—the were both thinking too much. He slept next to her every night, this should just be an extension of that.
"Roll on your side," he instructed. "Like we were going to sleep." Silently, Amy obeyed, and when she was settled in her usual position, Sheldon took his place behind her. Sliding his hand over her side, he began rubbing her stomach, feeling her shiver slightly.
"Are you cold?"
Her voice came out a stutter. "N. . .No." Her intake breath was a sharp hiss. He started to remove his hand, but Amy clamped hers over his, holding his hand on her abdomen. He began rubbing circles over her belly, and little by little she loosened her grip on him.
As his circles became larger, Sheldon found his hand at the hem of her top. He could feel the heat radiating off her and wanted to touch the warm, taut skin, so close to his fingertips. Amy hissed again as his cool hand made contact.
"Don't stop," she whispered. Emboldened by her response, Sheldon slid his hand further up under her shirt, caressing the skin that turned to goose flesh at his touch. His fingers felt the material of her bra, and it was all he could do not to jerk away. Swallowing, he closed his eyes and gently caressed her breast.
"Oh. . . . "
Sheldon felt another zing to his groin. Knowing he was the one making Amy moan gave him an immense feeling of satisfaction. Unfortunately, lying on his side, Sheldon only had one hand free.
"Amy, roll over onto me, but stay on your back." He knew it was an odd request, but it would give him another hand to touch her. Amy did as she was asked, and Sheldon groaned as her bottom made contact with his growing erection. Realizing the effect she was having on him, Sheldon suspected she was wiggling around on purpose. He was about to tell her to lie still, but the friction felt good. Too good, and it was causing him to loose focus. Fighting to stay in control of his body, Sheldon reached around to cup Amy's other breast. Their position was sort of a backwards hug, but this was one embrace he was in no hurry to extricate himself from.
As he fondled her breasts, running fingers over tight nipples, Amy's breaths came in short gasps intermixed with little mews that had him hardening even further. She was moving faster now, hips arching up, begging for his touch.
"Touch me, Sheldon," she beseeched, and he slid one hand over her belly that was rising and falling with each breath. "No, here." She took his hand, guiding him to the junction of her legs. "Touch me here." Her skirt had traveled up to nearly her waist in their tussling, and Sheldon felt the smooth, hot skin of her thigh against his palm.
"Oh, dear lord," he swallowed, wondering if he could fulfill Amy's appeal.
"Please, Sheldon!" Amy panted, practically screaming her request. He closed his eyes and employed every trick he knew to empty his mind. He'd fought so long to put up barriers to keep his desires in check that it wasn't going to be easy to knock them down. He heard his own voice in his head: Let yourself feel. She loves you. She won't hurt you.
Sheldon's hand ghosted over Amy's panties and she moaned again. This time it was drawn out, full of longing. It would take so little to make her happy, to give her completion. Stealing his resolve, Sheldon slipped his hand under the waistband of her underwear, caressing her soft curls. Amy gasped and he almost abandoned his goal.
"Don't stop. Please don't stop!" Moving his hand further south, Sheldon was thankful for his long limbs, and it briefly crossed his mind how well they fit together, even if it wasn't a conventional position.
She was wet. So ready for him, and again he nearly quit his task. Amy's head was on his left shoulder and each puff of breath she exhaled blew tendrils of hair over his face. He started to panic thinking of the germs and dead skin cells falling onto him when Amy ground herself against him.
"Oh, Lord!" he cried, germs suddenly the last thing on his mind. His hand slipped lower, and he found Amy had spread her legs, pushing herself against his fingers. He could smell her scent even stronger now, and rather than be repulsed, he found it intoxicating.
His fingers seemed to have a will of their own as they plumbed her depths. Amy was practically sobbing now, she was so close. Sheldon didn't know when he'd started to move his hips, but here he was, bucking in time with her.
Turning his head so his lips were touching the outer shell of her ear, Sheldon whispered, "Come for me, Amy." The sound of his voice seemed to trigger something within her and suddenly she arched off of him.
"Oh, God! Shellllldon!" She practically crashed onto him, causing him to wince as her weight settled back on his hardness. She wasn't the only one who'd been close. He needed her off of him so he could get to the bathroom to finish what they'd begun.
Amy's breathing was slowing as she turned to look at him. It wasn't easy after what had just transpired, but he met her gaze. Her face was flushed, eyes dark, and she was sporting the most contented smile he'd ever seen. Even her monkeys didn't produce such an overwhelmingly satisfied grin. He'd been so taken with her reaction he hadn't realized her lips were on his until she was kissing him.
"Thank you," she breathed, settling down next to him, head on his chest. He didn't want to make her move, but something had to be done about his own condition.
"Amy, I. . . ." And before he could explain his dilemma, she seemed to figure it out for herself. Rather than move aside so he could get up, Sheldon realized the sudden pressure on his genitals wasn't from his hand, but hers. "Amy! No! Don't. . . Oh, God," he moaned. It felt as though he'd called out to the deity more times in the last hour than he had his entire life.
She was gently squeezing him, running her fingers along his rigid length. "Do you want me to stop?" she whispered. He couldn't think. His mind was numb. All that existed was her hand and the glorious sensations she was evoking. How come it never feels this good when I do it? If it did, he'd never leave his room.
"Do you want me to stop?" she repeated, lips pressed up against his ear.
"Yes. . .No!. . .I mean. . .Ohhhhh." His hips were moving again, pressing himself into her palm. "God, Amy. . . ." He'd lost track of where she was on the bed. All he knew was her hand hadn't left his cock and it could stay there forever when it felt that good. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Sheldon noticed he felt the mattress dip and realized she was moving. She was between his legs and the caressing fingers were now fumbling with the zipper on his pants.
He felt her undo the button on his waistband, starting to pull down his underwear, when he tried to push her away. He was too close and if she touched his bare skin, he knew he would explode. "You have to stop. . . ." he wailed, but he must not have sounded convincing, because she released him from his pants, and Amy wouldn't do something he truly didn't want her to.
As the cool air met his flushed skin, Sheldon had to bite his lip to keep from crying out; the sensation was pleasure and torture combined. Then he felt something he could never have imagined. Amy's hot mouth was suddenly surrounding him, tongue caressing his shaft. He let out a strangled yelp, sitting up and trying to push her away, but she was having none of it.
"Please, Sheldon. Let me do this for you." He was frozen with indecision. Mortified, terrified, aroused, curious, he couldn't decide what it was he wanted. All he knew for certain was if he didn't relieve the pressure in his groin he was going to go insane.
"I can't let you," he gasped, quickly heading for a panic attack. The germs—from both of us—the mess. . . . He couldn't really see her. The only light in the room came from the window and it only lit portions of her. The occasional glint of her hair, the outline of her shoulder. The anonymity of the dark was bolstering his courage. He needed release and he couldn't deny her mouth on him was the most incredible thing he'd ever felt. Finally, he nodded, and lay back down, closing his eyes.
At first he felt nothing and he wondered if Amy had changed her mind. He couldn't blame her. If he'd consciously planned on pleasuring her, he would have lost his nerve. Just when he thought she'd changed her mind, Sheldon felt the feather-light touch of her fingers running up and down the length of him, and if it was possible, felt himself stiffen even further. As her pressure increased, he decided he wanted this, and if for some reason she choose to stop, he would die of frustration. Every primal urge he'd ever suppressed seemed to be clamoring for attention, and by God, he was going to see they were met.
When Amy's tongue lapped the head of his cock, he nearly shot off the bed, the electric jolt had him panting and clutching the comforter with such force, his knuckles ached.
"Amyyyy. . . . " he rasped, as he was once again engulfed by her sweet mouth. He couldn't keep track of what she was doing. All he knew was he was moving closer and closer to a point of no return, like a runaway train, steaming down a mountain.
He could feel the end was in sight and he couldn't. . .not in her mouth. . . . He was struggling to extricate himself, but Amy was having none of it. Giving him one last powerful tug, his entire body went rigid and the world exploded in a shower of sparks.
Sheldon lay panting on the bed. Even though he was still mostly dressed, his body was covered in sweat, and the need for a shower was overwhelming. His limbs had gone slack, and he wondered if he was even capable of walking the short distance to the bathroom. Amy lay next to him and the tension between them was nearly as intense as his need to shower. Never had he ever felt so out of his element. What did one do at a time like this?
Amy's gaze seemed to be focused on the ceiling as they lay side-by-side, unable to look at each other. The embarrassment was growing worse by the second when she reached over and took his hand. She said nothing, and neither did he. Finally, she squeezed her fingers around his, and after a moment, he returned the gesture.
A/N: Chapter 26 and the rest of the story will be posted in the "T" rated section.