Love The Way You Lie Chapter 1: Love The Way You Lie, a final fantasy viii fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, if I did, things would have ended a lot differently. Also I do not own Love the Way You Lie. That's all Eminem and Rihanna.

~*~*~*~*~*~*Love The Way You Lie*~*~*~*~*~*~

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

She bit her bottom lip hard, wincing at the sting before releasing her bruised flesh from her teeth.

Hyne, anything but this again.

She slid down the wall trying to focus on the pain so she wouldn't let the tears escape. She wouldn't let him win by seeing them fall… this time.

She wouldn't let him know how much he had hurt her, yet again.

He had enough evidence of that without having to see her emotional pain.

She hit the floor hard and threw her head back forcefully knocking it against the wall. How could she be so stupid to keep doing this? What was wrong with her?

Her arms wound themselves around her knees, pulling them towards her chest, her chin resting on top. She could hear him throwing something, a low thud before a loud crash. She winced burying her head into her hands.

Do not cry, do not cry, do not cry.

He was coming closer now, his obscene curses growing louder, the knocking down of walls more dominant, their home falling apart around them.

A single tear fell. She shook her head hard and pulled her knees closer, tighter.

Please, just let me become invisible… Just once, let him not see me…

His heavy footsteps so close she could feel the floor vibrate beneath her. She squeezed her eyes shut tight, waiting for the last string to be cut.

Just… waiting for her world to completely stop…

How… why… had it come to… this?

What had she done wrong?

How could she… they, deserve this?

Why… Hynedamnit why?

She clasped her hands behind her head her fingers tangling in her hair before tugging harshly.

Funny, she had asked herself all of these same questions…last time…

A chair went through a window so close by she could feel the cold air rush in before she heard the crash.

She could hear the soft tinkle of the glass as it landed, could feel the brush of the small pieces like sharp dust fall all around her.

She let out a sharp gasp before inhaling a soft whimper.

So much pain. For the both of them.

She slowly lifted her head. Her eyes wide, not frightened, just… remorseful, staring in front of her, refusing to glance sideways.

The cursing stopped, the pounding stopped. The heavy, angry footfalls… stopped.

She could hear his ragged breathing. The harsh intakes and the wheezing exhales.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him standing there, his fists clenched tight, knuckles white.

She let out a slow sigh, raising her head up before letting it fall back against the wall with a soft thump. She closed her eyes and tilted her head opposite of him.

Hyne, the pain… Was this what the end felt like?

Was he just going to stand there and watch her fall apart?

The hated tears slowly began to fall… Leaving wet unwanted paths down her swollen cheeks…

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right

It's like I'm in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I suffocate
And right before I'm about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it

Why am I doing this?

Why can't I stop?

I'm leaving this path of destruction everywhere I turn.

Hyne, I hate to see her cry. But this anger, this betrayal…

Fuck…

I didn't mean for it to go this far, but now I… can't stop…

She didn't even bother to ask me how I felt before she just came to a conclusion and bottled it up inside.

Didn't she know it was hurting me as well?

Did she even care?

The fuck! I thought we were stronger than this.

Guess I was wrong, wouldn't be the first time.

Like shoving my fist into this wall is so wrong, but damn it's better than being aimed at her.

Bam.

When will this rage die down?

Shove, bang, bam, crash

Fuck it, if this is it, I might as well tear this whole mother fucker down with me.

Can't handle the memories anyway.

Where did she run to now?

Hell, do I even care?

She couldn't stand up to me for me, then who gives a shit if she's huddled in some little corner crying.

Fuckin' pathetic.

I can't believe she's doing this again.

Pushing all my buttons, pressing at the wrong issues, bringing up the past like she knows something about it.

Fuck her.

Who needs this shit?

Hynedamn.

I remember just yesterday we were happy, kissing over there, sitting in that chair her in my lap.

Didn't have a care except for if the damn thing would hold up our weight, and if it could stand the pressure if we made love on it…

So happy… happy in love. Couldn't wait to get her out of those shorts, to just hold her close, feel her heart beat.

I knew it couldn't get any better than that, never have that feeling again of being complete.

Fuck it. Fucked up memory, cause all the while she was sitting there holding me, she was thinking bout that bullshit, doubting me the whole time.

What the hell? Does she think I'm not man enough to take it?

If I could take her in that chair then I can take her drama bullshit, but what does she do…..

Fuck, I don't care, just that chair needs to get the hell outta here.

I can't stand to see that lying piece of shit anymore.

Clank, crash, bang, clink, clink, clink

There, that's better now, I can think just a little bit clearer.

Look at all that broken glass, just like us.

Shattered over that stupid chair.

Damn, there's that picture of me and her, just last year.

We were the perfect pair.

See how beautiful she looks?

What the hell happened to that girl?

How'd she become this shell I'm up against now? The fuck am I doing here?

How could she let this shit come between us?

Fuck.

Did I do it?

Did I push her away…

Damn, can this get any more confusing?

I can't take this no more, I'm headed out the door..

Shit there she is…

What do I do?

What can I say now?

Now she's standing up, walking towards the door…

Wait

Where you going?

She glances back at him, her eyes full of anguish, how could he not know?

He's killing her, she's breaking right here in front of him,

I'm leaving you

Is this panic I'm feeling?

Why can't I breathe?

Did she just say what I think she did?

Oh fuck no, she doesn't get to be the one to walk away…

No you ain't

Come back

Her eyes widen as she stares at the door in disbelief, her hand over the knob, shaking.

Is he really trying to stop her? After what just happened?

She closes her eyes and looks away. The tears fall silently, landing on her hand scalding the skin, yet she feels so cold. She wraps her arms around herself.

She knows exactly what he's thinking…

We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind in his bag
She's Lois Lane

I… don't know what to do…

She knows I love her more than anything…

But this isn't the first time, she's said those words…

Or I've pushed too far.

But Hyne, it can't get any better than being with her.

Yet, then again…

There are those times. Like that night at the bar, or the time at the tailgate party.

Fuck, she's just too damn beautiful, and hell maybe I'm too insecure…

Are we going right back there again?

To that feeling of…

When it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

She shivers as she remembers that night. He promised it would never happen again…

She looks up at him for the first time, she stifles a gasp covering her face with her hand before he can see her pain.

She trusted him, believed in him.

And look at how he repaid her.

Smashed her into a million pieces like that window. Shattered her heart, her trust, her love.

Could she really forgive him now? She looks into his eyes but all she sees is the seething rage.

Will he ever really mean it when he promises her that he'll never hit her again?

Does he ever truly want to change?

Is it some way for him to get off and make himself feel stronger?

Or is it cause she stays with him and lets him do it….

He always seems so sincere, so ready to make it up to her.

For the next few weeks, he's her knight in shinning armor. He can't get enough of her, or her of him.

Those are the days where she can feel the magic. Blush at his words, her heartbeat erratic.

He can be so wonderful, so beautiful…

Just to turn right back around and become a monster.

No more excuses, no more beautiful lies.

She turns away from him wipes away a tear right before she reaches for the door and whispers quietly;

Hyne, I really fucked it up this time.

She's really gone now.

I'm here alone in this empty house.

Fuuuuck, I blew it man…

I always knew I could never be good enough.

But over this… This is bullshit.

Why couldn't she just open up?

If she had then the paranoia wouldn't have built up inside of me.

But no, she kept it bottled up deep inside, wanting me to make it right when, shit, I couldn't read her mind.

And then wham, this is what it boils down to.

I've left holes in the wall, a broken window, and somewhere laying there's a busted bottle.

Fuck, wish I could cage my demon, but this rage always gets the best out of me…

I wonder where she's gone now…

Far away if she's smart.

Look at these hands how could I do this to her?

How could I leave a mark on her spirit.

Fuck me, there's glass in my fist.

Why can't I feel the pain?

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling

She gasps for breath, leaning back against the door.

She places her hand on her chest and realizes it's not moving.

Panicking she grasps the doorknob, opening her mouth to scream for help, unable to make a sound.

How will she be able to live without him? She can't…

She's given him everything. Every piece of her, now belongs to him.

She falls to her knees, burying her head in her shaking hands.

She closes her eyes tight, but all she sees is him.

Standing in front of her, holding out his hand a rose clenched in one fist with a smirk on his full lips… the first day they met.

Even now her stomach jumps at the memory.

Her hand falls from her face to land on her belly where she begins to rub furiously.

Damn butterflies.

Who would've known they would lead her to this place.

Sitting in front of her front door, unable to breath, unable to move, in so much agony…

She leans against the door, praying for support, tired of being frustrated…

Only to fall back as the door swings open…

Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face

The fuck?

She's still out here?

Is this some sick joke?

Some way for her to point and laugh?

To triumph in my pain?

Yeah, I'm the one who hit her, but shit, who's the one bleeding?

Not her. Gotta love the fuckin' irony.

I can't help but yell now.

Fuck, was there ever a time we got along?

I know there was, those fucking chills.

The amazing sex.

Those stupid, full of shit, overwhelming feelings…

There was once a time when I would never hurt her.

Before she became a fuckin bitch.

Shit, did I just say that out loud?

Fuck me.

Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down
Pin 'em

So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both

She stares at him in disbelief.

He was the one who started this, he was the one who became violent…

But she….

She's the bitch?

She grinds her teeth, knowing somewhere deep inside that she can't take this.

She feels the snap as her hand flies up out of her control, shoving him back hard.

He stumbles back apparently caught unaware.

She leaps forward, crashing her body into his, reaching up blindly her claws bared.

Grabbing the first thing she feels, she pulls as hard as she can causing him to yowl, bringing her fist down hard and fast, she opens it to see a fist full of hair fall to the ground.

When had she become so violent?

She gasps and releases a trembling sob.

How had she become this?

What had she done…

She feels a calloused hand palm her cheek. A rough thumb gently wiping away the falling tears.

Him, it's his fault. He's the one who has transformed her into this… monster…

She shoves away from him and raises her hand back to let it fly and land on his cheek.

Her hand seems paralyzed and her breath whooshes out in shock.

She looks up to see his eyes widen as he stares at her in… Awe?

Fucking man, to respect her for this.

She feels the anger boiling, steaming from her pores.

Her fingers curve and her nails sink into the smooth skin, her other hand curling around his upper arm, nails biting the flesh.

Her lip curls as he whispers another promise and lifts a blood covered hand to place on her shoulder.

Blood on his hands.

Is this a sign?

Her eyes narrow as he continues to spout his love, his promises, his never agains.

All of them such beautiful words she's been longing to hear.

All of them, such a beautiful lie.

Digging her nails deep into his cheek she moves her hand down in a quick slashing motion, watching fascinated as the blood starts to well up in the scratches left in the wake of her revenge.

She lifts her chin up high in triumph.

Finally, he has a small dose, or at least a taste, of his own medicine.

As they say, all is fair in love and war.

A sadistic smile slowly forms on her lips as she watches his eyes turn dark with rage.

She's sure that her entire body is shaking, convulsing with shock and panic, but she can't feel it…

All she can feel is the blessed cold her small victory has brought.

Even when he pushes her against the wall, all she knows is that she can hear laughter, her laughter, dark and menacing.

His fist raises and falls, she's on the ground now on her hands and knees.

Her shoulders shake as the tears and laughs slowly drain the last of her sanity away.

She feels him shove against her, pushing her over and onto her back.

She looks up at him with tears pouring from her eyes and her body rocking from her desperate laughs.

Oh yes, sweet insanity.

Somehow it makes her feel reassured, to know that she is crazy, that there is semblance of reason to the "whys" and "what's" the consistent questions that seem to be the foundations in her world…

She has clearly lost her mind.

Oh look, his fist is raised again.

She closes her eyes and waits for the inevitable, it's only fair that it should be his turn now…

So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sounds like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game

But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Shit I….

Just did it again.

So much for the promise, so much for the never again.

Fuck, she just… attacked me?

And I couldn't take it like a man.

I just hit her, I want to do it again.

Damn, this isn't supposed to be me.

I am not this…

How can I be this?

Fuck, how is she laughing and crying?

How messed up in the head is she?

Why is she moaning… oh fuck I'm crushing her with my weight, she can't breathe.

Hyne be damned.

Where do we go from here?

Fuck she's trying to leave!

I have to block the door to keep her from leaving me again…

Even with the wad of hair in her fist and the blood dripping down my cheek…

Fuck me, maybe I'm as crazy as she is.

The fuck she doin? Climbing out that hynedamn window!

She cries as she climbs out of the window, sliding over broken glass slicing skin in the process. She falls to the ground next to a broken chair. Glancing back in the house she sees the pot on the stove, the fire is still on the water now bubbling as it boils.

How did life go from being so simple one minute to so fucked up the next?

Cooking dinner peacefully to pain blazing, blood falling profusely.

Fuck this. Fuck him. Fuck love…

She stares down at her hands, how did she become this? Inside her heart is breaking, she hears his hoarse voice calling her name gently. She wraps her arms around her waist tightly as the tears fall unmercifully.

Why? Oh God, why does she want to answer his call and see him smile.

Her head is pounding from where he's hit her. She pushes her hair back off her swollen eye and busted lip.

So Hynedamn crazy.

She starts to turn…

Now I know we said things

Did things that we didn't mean

And we fall back

Into the same patterns

Same routine

But your temper's just as bad

As mine is

You're the same as me

But when it comes to love

You're just as blind

I… don't know why I'm calling her back, but somehow I know I fucking need her.

I don't care that we just tore each other apart.

Fuck, I just hit her hard.

But damn, she's not a fucking saint either.

Look at my face, proof she's just as bad inside.

I know we're both hotheaded as shit.

Throwing things, yelling, hitting it's all the same as last time.

It hasn't ended but shit, I can't just let her leave like this.

I watch her from the window, fuckin' broken doll, damn she's so gorgeous.

I want her back in my arms, fuck baby just turn around.

Come back inside, let's bleed together…

Try and work through this.

I watch as her shoulders shake her head falls and her feet turn.

Shit, she's… Fuck this is my last chance.

God, let me do this right…

Baby, please come back

It wasn't you

Baby it was me.

Maybe our relationship

Isn't as crazy as it seems

Maybe that's what happens

When a tornado

Meets a volcano

All I know is

I love you too much

To walk away though

Come inside

Pick up your bags off the sidewalk

Don't you hear sincerity

In my voice when I talk

Told you this is my fault

Look me in the eyeball

Next time I'm pissed

I'll aim my fist

At the drywall

She looks up at him with a smile, her heart in her eyes, there are those lies that she loves to hear, there's the words she needed to believe.

She climbs back in through the window and slams her body into his.

She kisses him passionately, fiercely, deciding to give him another try. Another chance for future disappointment, but right now she can't seem to force herself to care. All she needs is him, just this one last time…

Next time

There will be no next time

I apologize

Even though I know

Its lies

I'm tired of these games

I just want her back

I know I'm a liar

If she ever tries to fucking leave again

I'm a tie her to the bed

And set the house on fire…

My mind is set, this is it, there will be no next time.

I grasp her hair in my fist and pull her back taking in her busted face.

I let her know just how I feel now that she's back.

Fuckin bitch better never try to leave again.

But that's when I hear the sirens.

I panic; fuck did the neighbors hear us?

Two cop cars in the drive, fucking officers with their guns in their fist beating on the door without a flinch.

She's opening up the door, damn this is it.

Before I know it there are cuffs on my wrist.

I'm pushed out the door and towards a car.

I hear her cry and feel my heart clench.

Fucking prick laughs in my ear, I shove him hard and curse in the wind.

I look back one last time and Fuck…

The Whole Damn House Is On Fire!

She's down on her knees. No way could this have just happened! Her whole world is on fire, and all she wanted was to be with her liar.

To be continued…..