Whiskey Lullaby
'She put him out
like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart'
Lily had done it again. She refused to go out with James. He had even changed for her, hoping she'd look twice. But she didn't. She still acted as though he never existed. She never knew the full effects of each rejection. To her, he was only fooling around and would dump her right after one date. But to him, he was serious.
He had fallen in love with the red head and she took it as a joke. Each rejection shattered a piece of his already broken heart. But this time it was different. His heart had shattered for the last time. He was now a fully broken man.
James was sitting on the couch in the common room staring into the fire. He had been there for quite some time just staring at the fire. When he finally moved his gaze from the fire, a flash of light caught his eye. There, lying on the floor near the couch was at least a dozen Firewhiskey bottles.
Spotting one that was empty, a thought filled his mind. He slowly went and picked up the bottle and smashed it on the floor. It made a loud, piercing noise, but no one was around since it was dinner time and everyone was in the Great Hall. He stared at the broken pieces for a moment, as though he didn't know what to do. Then, slowly he picked up a piece of glass and brought it down on his wrist.
'He spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away
a little at a time'
After twenty minutes of cutting his wrists, the apin dulled out. Deciding that he'd rather feel the pain than reality, he dropped the blood soaked piece of glass and turned to the unopened whiskey bottles.
There had to be over a dozen unopened bottles just lying there, begging to be drunk. James of course had been drunk numerous times, due to drinking after each rejection. But this time was different. He was going to drink all of the firewhiskey in hopes of ridding himself from the heartache. To him, if he was dead Lily would be a lot happier. All he ever wanted to do in life was to make her smile and laugh, even if it meant killing himself in the process. So he picked up a bottle and began to drink.
'But he never could get drunk enough
to get her off his mind
Until the night'
He drank and drank, not moving from his spot on the couch, not even to bandage his wrists. After about a half hour James had drunken through half of the Firewhiskey bottles, and he still couldn't get her out of his head. His mind was clouded over in a mist and his body felt numb yet he still saw the fiery red head.
So he began to drink even more. When a full hour had passed, James had drunken twelve of the whiskey bottles. Now, the whiskey was taking its toll. His heart beat loudly in his chest, while his blood boiled through his veins. He clutched his heart and wait for it to burst. Then, with his last bit of strength he searched for a quill and paper and quickly scribbled something down before dropping the whiskey bottle and collapsing to the ground.
'He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees'
Remus and Sirius were on their way back to the Gryffindor common room, their arms full of food for James. They all knew that he cared deeply for the red head but it appeared that she didn't return the feelings. She always shot him down, not even bothering to think about what was happening to him.
They also knew that the rejections were starting to take its toll on James, and they didn't know how long it would be before he did something he might regret. They reached the portrait and spoke the password. They chambered into the room, and at that exact moment they heard the shattering of glass on the ground and a body hitting the floor.
'We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her 'til I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby.'
They two boys rushed over to help whoever it was, but as soon as they reached the couch they gasped in horror. There, lying in a puddle of blood was none other than James. He was cuts all over his face from the broken whiskey bottle and wrists were still bleeding, which proved that all the blood must be his. Remus bent down to feel a pulse and gasped at how cold his skin felt. His normally tan skin was almost as pale as a ghost which meant something was horribly wrong.
Placing his to fingers on James' neck he waited, and feared for the worst but let out a breathe he didn't know he was holding when he felt a very slight pulse. It was faint but it was still there. "Sirius, bandage his wrists right now. We need to take him to the hospital wing right away." Remus practically screamed. Sirius, not wasting anytime, quickly tore off some of his robes and wrapped them securely around James' wrists. Then without saying a word they levitated James up to the hospital wing, praying he wouldn't die on the way.
When they reached the hospital wing, Madame Promfrey came over to see what all the noise was about. When she saw the state of James, she nearly had a heart attack. They makeshift bandages were now completely soaked with the crimson liquid while he was becoming even paler. She quickly levitated him over to a bed and quickly brought over curtains.
After twenty minutes or so she turned around and faced to two boys, her apron covered in blood. Her voice held a grim expression. "Well I have good news and bad news. The good news is that he's still alive. The bad news is that he is in a coma. I'm surprised since he lost so much blood and has severe alcohol poisoning. I don't know when or even if he'll wake up." The two looked at each other as though they had been punched in the face.
'lalalalalalala
lalalalalalala'
Madame Promfrey bowed her head and walked away into her office to clean up. They looked at James and the sight shocked them. He was hooked up to some kind of breathing machine, tubes were sticking out everywhere, and the new bandages on his wrists were already sporting signs that blood was seeping through. There were also fresh cuts adorning his face from the glass when he hit the floor.
They glanced at his wrists one last time and this time noticed something peeking out of one of his hands. Sirius went forward and carefully pulled the paper out of his hand and opened it up. Written on the paper was 'I'll love her till I die' and underneath that was sparkled 'Lily'. The writing was scratchy and uneven; proving that he had wrote it right before he collapsed. Sirius pocketed the note as silent tears fell down their faces as they prayed for their friend.
'lalalalalalala
lalalalalalala'
It had been about a week since James had last asked Lily out, and since then there has been no sight of him anywhere. He wasn't outside under the giant willow tree by the lake or in class pulling pranks on the Slytherins. He wasn't even seen in the common room. It was as though he simply disappeared into thin air. Even stranger was that the Marauders were barely seen also.
When you actually saw them, Sirius and Remus looked dead tired. The usual sparkled in their eyes was gone. And with James suddenly missing, it worried her to no end. She had started to develop feelings for James at the end of last year. She had begun to see him in a new light and it started to scare her. She had never felt that way and she didn't know how to control it. She thought that if she ignored him and just kept rejecting him that the feelings would go away, but they didn't.
And they just got worse since James disappeared. She spotted Sirius and Remus leaving the classroom and knew that now was the perfect time to corner them and find out what was going on.
"Sirius! Lupin! Wait a sec!" she yelled down to them. It looked as though they were in a hurry to get somewhere since they flew out of the classroom so fast, but they stopped none the less. "what? We're kind of in a hurry to get somewhere." Sirius said in a tired voice. "where's James? Is something wrong?" she asked with concern in her voice.
Sirius once dull eye flashed and filled with anger. "where's James! Where's James!" he screamed. Every person and sound stopped at that moment. "why do you care all of the sudden? You never cared before? But we might as well tell you since it is all your fault!" he said, his voice full of venom. Lily looked surprise. What had she done?
"James is in the hospital wing right now in a coma. He is in a coma from severe alcohol poisoning and blood lose. He has alcohol poisoning and blood lose because he slit his wrists and drank over twelve bottles of firewhiskey. He drank twelve bottles of firewhiskey because of you. You and rejecting him! Every time you rejected him he's drink a little more. Yet he still cared so much about you.
He even changed for you but you wouldn't even look at him twice." He said coldly while tossing his note at her. She picked it up and read it and gasped, dropping the note. And Sirius continued. "a part of him broke each time you rejected him till he finally broken completely. And now he tried committing suicide. And this is all your fault!"
'The rumors flew
but nobody knew how much
she blamed herself
For years and years'
Lily teared down the corridor leading to the hospital wing to see if what they said was true. She burst into the room and saw curtains shielding a bed. She quietly walked over and pushed her way pass the curtains and gasped in horror. James was lying on the bed, tubes everywhere and cuts all over. His bandaged wrists were still bleeding a little once in a while since every time Madame Promfrey changed the bandages the wounds reopened.
Yet, even in a coma he looked peaceful and handsome, but this was more than Lily could take. She slowly backed up and tore out of the room as fast as she could. Tears stung her eyes as she raced through the school not even bothering to know where she was headed. She ran and ran till she could run no more and collapsed. She looked up, after wiping her eyes on her sleeve, and saw that she was in front of the kitchens. She walked into the room and immediately tons of house elves rushed over.
She told them she wanted some firewhiskey and went to sit down at a table. In no time there were two bottle of whiskey placed on the table. She picked up a bottle and without caring, popped it open and began to drink.
'she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away
a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough
o get him off her mind,
Until the night.'
Within an hour, Lily had drunk her way through seven bottles of firewhiskey and was working on her eighth. She tried to forget life and drink away her problems but no matter how many bottles she drank it was never enough. Her mind was clouded over in a hazy mist yet she could still see James' face. She wanted to forget him.
So she drank more. Slowly, she could feel the effects of the whiskey, and slowly felt herself falling into the darkness. Her heart beat faster as she dug into a pocket in her robes in search of something. She pulled out a picture of James and held it close as she let the darkness consume her.
'She put that bottle to her head
and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time
it was bigger
Than the strength she had
to get up off her knees'
Remus was on his way to the kitchen to fetch food for himself and Sirius. They had been in the hospital wing almost all day, praying that there would be a sign of James waking. But there was no change. He was still in a coma and no one knew when he would wake. He didn't even know why he bothered getting the food.
They barely even ate it anyway. Remus stepped inside the kitchen and knew something was up. Usually the house elves would be running over to him, but there were none in sight. Instead, they were all crowed around something on the floor. Upon getting closer he saw a mass of auburn hair and feared what he would see next. The house elves moved out of the way so he could get close and he gasped. There, lying on the floor was Lily unconscious, clutching a picture and a whiskey bottle.
'We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby.'
He raced forward to feel a pulse. he felt a slight pulse and was glad that Lily hadn't resorted to slitting her wrists. He looked around and visibly paled at the sight of the eight firewhiskey bottles. He looked at her hand and saw a picture of James was clutched tightly between her fingers.
Even in this desperate situation he smiled. She really did care for him despite what she said. So levitating her he quickly brought her to the hospital wing to be treated, hoping that she'd be ok.
When Remus arrived, Madame Promfrey was busy with James so she didn't hear him come in. Lupin slowly brought Lily over to the bed next to James when Sirius looked up and gasped. Madame Promfrey turned around to se what was wrong and paled. Without even bothering to ask what was wrong with her, she busily set to work trying to help her.
Within a few minutes they were told that she too had alcohol poisoning and would be knocked out for at least a few weeks. This was slightly better news, since they thought she might too be in a coma.
'lalalalalalala
lalalalalalala'
it had been about two weeks since Lily had been admitted to the hospital wing. everyone was wondering where their heads had disappeared to. Neither showed any signs of improving or waking up any time soon. Lupin and Sirius even sat there the whole two weeks, never moving. They never moved to eat or sleep. They just sat there staring at their friends, wanting to be there when they woke up.
But there was a heavy price. Not eating or sleeping was taking its toll on the two boys. They had become too weak and thin. Alarmed, Madame Promfrey told Dumbledore who came in and told them that if they didn't at least eat something they would be dead before their friends woke up. So reluctantly they left to get something to eat from the kitchens followed by Dumbledore, not even noticing movement coming from Lily's bed.
'lalalalalalala
lalalalalalala'
Lily cracked open her eyes, the lights blinding her. Looking around she saw that she was in the hospital wing. All that she could remember was drinking then falling into darkness. Then it all came flooding back to her. She looked over at James to find him still sleeping in the position she had last scene him in. getting up quietly, as to not alert Madame Promfrey that she was awake, she walked over to James bed and sat down next to his head. She pushed some hair out of his eyes and whispered "com back to me James. I love you." And with that she kissed him.
'lalalalalalala
lalalalalalala'
James slowly came out of his coma, pain flooding his body when he felt a pair of lips upon his. Opening his eyes he saw a mass of red hair. She started to pull away when he placed his hand o the back of her head and kissed her back. When they kissed they felt electricity flood their bodies. Slowly they withdrew and Lily pulled him into a tight embrace, stroking his hair. And then they knew there would be no more whiskey lullaby's for them.
'lalalalalalala
lalalalalalala'
A.U. : this is ma first song fic...there ma be more...so please be kind nd reveiw!