"Do you have an extra one of those?"

The roof is dark, and crisp snow falls in a light sheet over the concrete. I didn't think anyone would be awake at this time of night, which is why I chose now of all times to come up here and smoke, but of course she was. I don't think she ever sleeps.

"What, no lecture?"

I toss her my lighter which she freezes in the air, the regular blank expression painting over her face. She's wearing a baggy black sweater that slinks over one shoulder with black leggings underneath. She's floating over the surface of the roof, and honestly I don't blame her. The concrete is fucking freezing.

"How many times have I told you not to throw things at me? And no, as long as you don't lecture me."

I extend my hand towards her, a cigarette places between my index and middle fingers. She ignites the cigarette mid air before it even touches her hand, and I shrug as she drops the lighter to the ground in front of her. It had been a hell of a long day. Not that we had to go and fight anyone, we hadn't had a call all month, but we had a city council meeting to deal with. There were a lot of people that would rather risk dealing with the ridiculous villains that terrorized Jump City themselves than dealing with the collateral damage left behind from the Teen Titans. It was a solid argument, and here lately the rules and regulations of superheroes has become extremely tight. We were still one hundred percent funded, but as of right now we did no light work. Only villains, no bank robbery and hostage situations, which was understood. It didn't make it any less boring though.

The entire day had been spent signing papers and listening to new guidelines set by the Jump City townspeople, which was as boring as it was mind numbing, and I definitely needed to catch a break.

"Raven?" I take a draw of my cigarette, blowing a mixture of smoke and steam out into the air.

"What?" Raven's voice wasn't one you would expect out of your average 17 year old. It was sturdy, solid and mature. It was confident.

"Our job fucking sucks."

I drag my eyes over to her direction, and I can see her try her hardest to hide her smile.

"Don't be so melodramatic."

"You're right." I finish my cigarette, throwing the bud off into the bay. "That's already your job."

It quiet for a while after that, and I can tell that we're both mulling over the ideas of our new campaign. Yeah, Jump City has their divided opinions about us, but it wasn't like we were going anywhere. It was as if we won the election for presidency, but could never stop campaigning for votes. It was our job not only to protect Jump City, but to represent.

The Jump City council, including the mayor and her cabinet, had arranged a brand new campaign for the Teen Titans including all sorts of visits, hostings, and even media scandals. We (according to the council) wanted people to like us again, to want us to go back to busting purse snatchers and gas station thieves. Why? I have no fucking clue. But it wasn't up to me, it was up to the city.

"You're irritated."

I snap out of my temporary dip from reality, my face turning to meet Raven's gaze. Empaths, who do they think they are? Just over here peeking into my emotions with no consent.

"Yeah, I'm irritated. Don't act like you aren't."

I needed another cigarette. I was so irritated, that I couldn't even take the time to notice that Raven was actually talking to me. It's not like me and Raven don't talk, but she definitely never goes out of her way to speak to me (especially recently.) She came up here to bum a cig, sure, but she's never gone out of her way to hang out around me. It was odd, and as I light my third cigarette, I take notice to it.

"Why are you up here anyway? It's cold as fuck. You never meditate in the snow."

Raven joined the Titans at the extremely young age of 13, myself being 15 at the time. I thought she was fucking weird, and she probably thought the same about me. Everyone became increasingly aware of her meditation schedule, so not to interfere with it, and one thing that always held in my memory was her dislike for snow. She would generally meditate on the roof every night for about an hour, through rain or sun, but not snow. When it snowed she settled for the common room, occupying a corner and mumbling to herself as she floated in the air. She had no reason to wonder up to the roof, except maybe to talk to me.

"I didn't come up here to meditate. I came up here to ask for a cigarette."

She winces at the word, and I can tell it's something she didn't like about herself. Shit, I definitely didn't like being tobacco's bitch either, and I tried to get it out of my system only once per week. I'd wait until almost three in the morning, making sure everyone was asleep, and chain smoke through a pack in record time.

"Yeah, you don't really come off as a smoker to me."

We finish our cigarettes in silence, the crisp air wrapping around us in a blanket as the snow paints the concrete roof a solid white. It's too damn cold for me, and as the wind presses against the right side of my face I decide it's time to head back inside.

I press my hands into the snowy ledge of the roof, swinging my legs back from over the edge and pushing my body up from my sitting position on the ground. I cast Raven a quiet goodbye, reminding her not to stay out too late and risk catching a cold, and I'm not really expecting a reply as my hand clasps against the door handle.

"Garfield."

I pause, not really knowing if I like the way my real name rolls off of her tongue. I try not to dwindle on the subject of Raven's tongue as I turn back to face her, and she is surprisingly closer to me than I thought she was. She's recently learned a new trick: how to subtly teleport without the use of a flashy portal. She was never about cosmetics really, and although this new party trick was more practical, it was a little inconvenient for the rest of us considering how unpredictable her teleportation had become.

I could feel her cold breath press lightly against my chest, and even with her floating off of the ground her face is barely neck level compared to me.

"I just wanted you to hold the door." She stares me down, and it's always been unsettling how Raven never averted eye contact. She was intimidating as hell.

"Uh, yeah. Of course."

I pull open the door and it tugs along against the snow, and as she slips past me into the dark hallway I release a sigh of quiet relief. It takes a lot of energy to be around Raven and not piss her off, especially for me. I feel like I've been dodging tripwires through the entire month, and as I close the door and my eyes adjust to the darkness of the hallway I notice she's not even there. She must've teleported to her room, why didn't she do that in the first place?

I take a few steps, allowing my body to relax in the quiet solace of the dark hallway. Raven had seriously been acting weird lately, like, not her normal weird. She was being weird in ways I didn't know if I was comfortable with, or way too comfortable with. I mull it over in my head as I stride down the hall, subconsciously counting my breaths in between steps. It was a terrible habit, and as I counted to seven I paused. It was the slightest of noises, one a normal person would have never noticed, but the gentle brush of fabric against fabric almost echoed in my ear canals. It was coming from behind me. I don't even make it to my eighth breath as a cold hand closes around my neck from behind in one swift motion.

My back slams hard against the concrete wall, and as the thought of grabbing the emergency button on my wrist communicator pops into my head another cold hand rips it off with the ease of ripping off a price tag. I kick up, into whoever's chest, hard enough to knock them into the opposing wall. My eyes scan the floor in the unlit hallway for my communicator while my attacker recovers.

I spot it in the corner behind the door, my impulses kicking into overdrive as I turn and dart down the pitch black hallway. My line of vision is focused, and I have a single goal in mind: to protect my friends from who ever this mother fucker is. I'm two footfalls away from the end of the hallway, and I can feel success at my fingertips when a light flickers like a lightning strobe, covering the entire hallway in a bright snow white and then back to darkness. My mind fogs, and the flicker of light disorients me before my entire body freezes mid-sprint.

It feels cold, so fucking cold, as if my body is literally physically frozen. I feel like I'm having sleep paralysis, as if my head is awake and my body is not, and the world is fuzzy around me. My eyes search around the room, taking their time to readjust to the darkness around me, but I realize something terrifying. My attacker is behind me, watching me.

"Look, I'm not going to be timid." The cold, concrete hand sturdily snakes around my neck once more, and the paralysis spell previously infecting my body melts under its touch. I still have no control of my body, but as I move it's as if a puppeteer has taken the reigns. My spine presses smoothly against the wall, and I keep my eyes closed partially out of fear. I know exactly who my attacker is, I could smell her. Given, I didn't know it was her until she spoke, but the correlation of her authority and manipulative tone sparked a match in the pit of my stomach between my hips.

I open my eyes, and grin down at her lopsidedly. This was the stuff of my dreams, (kind of my nightmares too,) and as terrified as I felt, I couldn't help but be a little turned on. Raven's eyes, which are a perfect mix of blue and purple, are locked into mine. I was starting not to mind that eye contact thing too much.

"You definitely are seeming a little tense."

She doesn't laugh at my joke, and as she continues to glare up into my eyes I say a silent prayer to whatever god is listening that she can't feel my struggle against the prison walls of my own body. I'm trying my damndest to will my body to move, but it's limp against her touch. She's turned my own body against me, and I'm trapped behind the walls of my own green skin. She's in control, and what she wants my body reacts to. I'm not really to sure how I feel about that right now.

"I need to talk to you."

"I don't know," I snicker, not trying too hard to not piss her off anymore. "I'm kind of tied up right now."

Raven doesn't move, doesn't respond in any way, shape, or form to my joke. I guess it didn't land too well.

"I-" She starts, but something inside of her tells her to stop. Her mouth hangs open as she releases her grip, and my body slumps off of the wall as my feet hit the ground. I still don't have full control, but at least she's doesn't have her hand around my fucking throat anymore. I mean, it wouldn't be too bad in another context. "I want to… stay in your room tonight."

My eyes widen, probably as wide as they can open. This is the last fucking thing I would ever expect to here exit Raven's mouth. She's still holding eye contact, and the confidence behind her voice is unfaltering. Maybe she wasn't joking about not being timid.

I try my hardest not to say it, I really fucking do, but it leaves my mouth before I can even take the extra second the rethink.

"Do you want top bunk or bottom bunk?"

The cold feeling fueling my body from my toes to my head disappears in one solid wave, the shear warmth of fire returning to replace it. It hits me hard like a freight train, and I gasp as I fall to my hands and knees in front of a tiny five-foot-seventeen-year-old girl.

Air pours in and out of my lungs through my mouth like I hadn't been breathing for the past five minutes, and the small spark that had previously lit between my hips was a full-force, forest fire. I guess whatever cold-spell Raven had put on me had suppressed it, but somehow also made it twenty times worse.

"Holy shit," I slowly crawl to a standing position, my hands planted on the wall to support me. "I don't give a fuck what bunk you want as long as I'm in it with you."

I say the sentence in between gasps for air, my eye shut as tight as possible as I hold myself up against the wall.

It started about a month ago, this. I wouldn't really dub it a relationship, because me and Raven already have a relationship, it's just not a functional one. It was the "I-only-tolerate-you-because-I-live-and-work-with-you" type, and I was totally cool with that. Yeah, me and Raven had gotten a little closer as the two of us grew up, but we were definitely not done growing. Our "relationship" had quite a lot of room for effort.

So a month ago when Raven teleported into my room while I was mid-changing clothes, I definitely kind of lost it. My cool, that is. Not that I had any cool before that, but seeing Raven just appear into my room in her pajamas at three in the morning is definitely one way to take a guys cool away.

It's only happened twice so far, and hey, I got it. She's a teenager dude, shit, I'm still a teenager. Being a seventeen year old superhero fucking sucks, and you're definitely limited in people available and willing to bang.

No, we hadn't had sex, but I'm working on it. I'm working so fucking hard on it.

To be completely honest, I had only ever had sex once, but something about Raven told me I had a little more experience in the field than she did.

When she first came into my room, yeah, it seriously tripped me out, but it was actually super cute. I hate to admit it, and I would never say it to her face, but the image of Raven asking me to get into bed with her is something that regularly pops into my head in the shower. And in my bed. And when I'm eating cereal and shes across the table from me and the entire group is eating breakfast and I have to get up to get ready for the day but I can't move until my boner goes away.

When she asked the second time, I jokingly replied "You don't have to be so scared, I don't bite. I mean, unless you want me to."

Honestly, I was starting to regret mocking her.

The comment alone had set her off, and therefore, the second time she asked was a no-go. How can one get rejected by the person who was asking them for sex in the first place? I really don't know. It's a gift, honestly. And again, we hadn't really had sex. We're getting there though. Maybe.

I rest my forehead against the wall, really wishing she would have continued the cute little teleporting-to-my-room-in-the-wee-hours-of-the-morning thing instead of the physically-attacking-me-in-the-hallway thing. But damn, Raven taking lead like that was actually really fucking hot.

I feel the heat steadily growing up my stomach and into my sternum, and fuck, it almost hurts. It unhinges something inside of me, something carnal I can't quite put my finger on, and when I lift my forehead off of the wall and stand as straight as I can I realize I'm not in the hallway anymore. I'm in my room.

I turn sharply, my back now facing against my bedroom door and my body facing the rest of my room. And Raven.

She's still wearing what she was wearing on the roof, her collarbone peeking out from behind the cable-knit fabric of her sweater. Goddamn, even when she wasn't trying she was stunning. Raven's always been fucking devastating, but I knew better than to try to touch the sun. She could eat me whole, chew me up and spit me out, and then eat me again. Boy's like me were probably her breakfast, and even though she may not have a lot of experience when it came to sex I am more than willing to experience it with her.

"You know what you can't do."

"Yeah, whatever."

She's off the ground in a second, maybe even under a second. My body swallows hers, and as I toss her down into the bed and her eyes meet mine I can't help but long to do what I'm not allowed.

She had one rule: no kissing. How fucking stupid is that?

She didn't want me to think that this was anything more than it was: two horny teenagers trying to relieve the stress of being two horny teenagers. And then, like, everything else with the superhero stuff. Whatever.

My body aches, and I figure she's doing some weird-invasive-empath thing. I've never fucking felt like this before, and god I want to fuck her so hard she has to float over the floor for the next two weeks, but something isn't right.

I don't feel comfortable about it. About this.

I pull myself away from the bed, kind of half looking at Raven to gauge her reaction. She sits up, not so much looking concerned as she is curious, and it kind of pisses me off even more.

"Are you doing this, this, thing? Are you making me feel this?"

I'm pointing to my face, like it accurately defines the emotions coursing through my body down to my fucking dick, but she understands.

"You don't like it?"

"Well, yeah, I do but-" I cut myself off, flailing my arms in the air around me in some lame attempt to gather my words.

She was doing this to me to turn me on, to make up for the not-kissing thing. At least that's why I think she's doing it.

I'm a feely kind of guy, I craved touch and affection and foreplay. The little things build up to the really big things, and the whole "we-can't-kiss-because-we're-only-friends-but-we're-still-gonna-bang" thing didn't settle with me well. If anything, this weird, heat thing she had done to me was only making my cravings worse, unbearable even. I wanted to do what she wouldn't let me, but I didn't want to do anything she didn't want.

"Look, I get you're like, using me like a personal boy-toy or whatever, and that's great. I love it, really. But I really need to…"

I trail off as I move back to the bed, my knees planting on the sheets between hers and slowly pushing her legs apart as I shift my weight. She's looking up at me tentatively, and I know what I'm about to do, but I don't know if she does.

My hands slide under her shirt, and I press my thumb the perfect amount of rough into her ribcage as my hands cradle her sides. Her eyes are so fucking wide, and all the confidence bullshit from before is out the window. I am on fucking fire, and she is melting under me.

"I need to do this."

She doesn't have time to argue, doesn't have time to yell at me or call me an idiot, and I swear as my lips crash into hers I feel like a fork in an electrical socket.

My eyes are closed, partially because I'm scared as hell about the repercussions of breaking Ravens rule, but as I continue the kiss and dip my hips into hers I feel her kiss back. It's kind of rough at first, wild and unknowing, and we both fumble hard.

I pick her up, wrapping my arms around her waist and keeping her hips and lips in contact with mine the entire time, and move her up on the bed so that we're not sideways anymore. When I drop her down I stay in between her legs, looking down at her and standing on my knees on the bed. She's a mess, her face somehow flushed and blushed at the same time, and her eyes are full of emotion that I never get to see.

"That was my first kiss."

I shrug, cocking a little grin as I lift the edge of my shirt over my head. "Tonight's a night for firsts, babe."

I expect her to retort at the comment but she doesn't, she just watches, and for some reason that makes me think of Terra. Comparing this to losing my virginity to Terra is completely day and night. At the time my feelings for Terra were really construed and complicated, and if anything having sex with her was my last ditch effort at showing her I loved her. It was soft, and weird, and neither of us had any clue what we were doing. Just a pile of teenage emotions thrusting against each other in the same bed, her blonde hair layed out over the gray pillows. She would never close her eyes, and if she did it was out of natural reflex. Something about closing her eyes scared her, made her feel like she was letting her guard down. She made little mewling noises and although I thought it was so great at the time, it's nothing compared to Raven. Terra was the day and Raven was the night, and Raven fucking consumed me.

I lean down, my shirt discarded somewhere on the floor, and my let my lips barely brush hers. I feel a push from behind her, she thought I was going to kiss her and quickly reciprocated with an equal force. I grin as she settles back down, loving the way lust looked on her and wanting to absorb all of it like a sponge.

I know it's a total douchebag way to think, but I reveled in the fact that I was going to hold not one, but two of Ravens firsts. I wanted her to be all mine, wanted her to leave herself in the sheets of my bed and for nobody else. I'll be damned if some new brooding moody kid joined the Titans one day, I might be out of a job. That job being Ravens personal fuck toy.

"Stop playing with me."

She spat it out, angrily through closed teeth, and I liked it. Her lips hit mine, and she's rough and direct and has seemed to wrap her grasp around this kissing thing fairly fast. I part my mouth, using my tongue to coax hers, and as I do I feel her hips roll over my dick in the most perfect way. I cave down, moaning into her open as only my elbows support me over her.

I'm the one that pulls away from the kiss first, and she seems angry until I dip into her neck and lightly nip at the base of her jaw. She damn near squeals, and it's perfect, and it's just enough to fuel me into doing more.

"Let me see this, you're not gonna need it."

I grab the huge piece of fabric draping over her small frame, and to be completely honest, I can't really figure out how it works. I'm starting to get frustrated, the fire inside of me fuming and with no kindling to burn. Fuck it.

I rip the sweater down the middle, pulling it off of her in one solid motion and looking down at her exposed chest. She was like old art, delicate and beautiful.

She looks mad, and it makes her look even hotter, and I snort and lean back down into her swiftly. "I'll buy you another one."

It's all I can say before I'm biting the edge of her collarbone that's been toying with me all night, and my hand sneaks down to the part of her leggings that resides between her thighs. I touch her tentatively, and she's already suppressing moans from me kissing her roughly down her chest. As soon as my fingers press up against the thin fabric of her leggings, her eyes flutter open, and her pupils don't really seem focused in on anything in particular. Her back caves under my touch, and it gives me the confidence to press a little harder, slowly moving my fingers up and down against the smooth fabric.

"Wait-wait…" She's breathing so hard and her hands grip the sheets beside her, and this is all really awesome but it all seemed a little… suspicious.

"Raven?"

She stops, the sound of her name reminding her who she is and where she's at, and her body relaxes and grows rigged again. Good fucking job, me.

"Yes?"

"Have you never orgasmed before?"

She pauses, and not because she doesn't want to tell me, but because she didn't know the consequences of me knowing.

"No. I don't see how that's important."

Oh, it's definitely fucking important. I'm blown away by the fact this girl, this drop dead knockout of a woman beneath me, had never experienced orgasming in her long seventeen years of living. That's probably why she's such a total bitch all of the time.

"You've never masturbated or like, anything? Nothing? Maybe it happened and you didn't-"

"It's never happened Beast Boy."

Aaaaaaand we're back to Beast Boy. I'm quickly backpedaling, but maybe I was trying to. I didn't like the context of the situation anymore; I didn't want the thought of Raven's first time to be with me in the same bed as another girls first time was taken, horny and looking for a quick release. She would regret it later, and I would regret it later too. She was special, one of a kind, and she deserved something that was the same way.

"I don't want to have sex with you."

She sits up swiftly and all in one motion, her hair a mess as it barely brushes the top of her shoulders and her breasts exposed with a cute line of soon-to-be hickeys dotting down to her belly-button.

"What? Why?"

I shrug, pushing myself off of the bed and grabbing for a shirt. "I don't know, I'm just not feeling it right now. Maybe you can go hit up Robin or something."

As soon as I say it I'm angry at myself for even putting that thought out into the world. Robin and Raven have a good five year age difference, and the thought of him having my firsts kinda drives me up a wall a little bit. I shrug off the invasive thoughts, not liking the territorial tone I've developed. That isn't me.

She's watching me get dressed just like she watched me get undressed, and jesus christ my dick is so hard I could cut a diamond. I turn around from facing the wall, and her eyes dart up to me mine. I grin, and she blushes, and it's definitely something I'm going to bring up later on.

"I know you wanted to."

"Well, I don't anymore. Jeez, peer pressure much?"

And just like that, she's gone without a word. My room is empty save for her torn sweater on the floor. I pick it up, holding it close to my face and smelling the velvet vanilla and cigarette smoke. It smelled like Raven.

I push it under my bed, deep to the other side closest to the wall. Monsters hide under the bed, and this stupid torn sweater definitely made me feel like a monster. It was hot and in the moment, but ripping someone's clothes off of them was something expected of me. Beast Boy. I wasn't a beast.

I layed back down in my empty bed, my back pressed against the same sheets she pressed against. I felt extremely lonely, and all at once, but before I could begin kicking myself I tried to remind myself that it was for the better.

Raven didn't want me to kiss her, she didn't want to feel any emotions other than the feeling of want, and need, and sex. I broke that rule because of a stupid impulse, because of a stupid empath-spell thing that she had done to me that was still coiling around in my torso.

I broke Ravens rule, the one she had set in place to prevent any unwanted emotions toward me, but it didn't work. Now I had unwanted emotions towards her.

Well, shit.