HOMELESS

My twin sister, Pam, and I sat sipping coffee at Village Cappuccino. Her right ankle was wrapped in an ace bandage and a pair of crutches leaned against the wall behind her. She told me it had happened Friday night.

"All afternoon I'd been thinking about going down at Heron's Roost. It was date night. You know, they have that outside bar that faces the river. Still, I wasn't sure whether or not to mention to Buddy. He's already gone out drinking a couple of nights this week, and we had a good fight about it just the other day."

"Uh huh," I said. This wasn't news to me.

"So then I thought, why should that stop me from going out and having a good time? We got there around 5 o'clock. I ordered a glass of wine; he ordered a beer and promised, like he always does, that he was only going to have a couple. It was hot, humid, seemed like it was going to rain.

"For awhile we talked about his work. You know he doesn't take my work seriously. Calls it a hobby because I don't make any money at it. I will though," she added defensively.

"I'm sure you will," I said.

She continued.

"Coco Loco was starting at seven. Our waiter said they're one of the best bands in town. I figured Buddy was planning on staying for more than a couple when he ordered appetizers. I usually end up eating most of the food and he just picks at it. I knew where this was headed," she said. "Same place it always does."

"And you sat there like you always do." I replied.

"I didn't want to piss him off. You know how he gets."

I didn't say anything, just took a sip of coffee.

"So, anyway," she went on. "We stayed and waited for the band to start. They were good," she admitted. "We were having a pretty good time singing oldies and, like everyone else, complained when it started raining because the band had to stop for awhile.

"That's probably when we should have left. He was already on his fifth beer and I was a little pissed about that, and I should know better than to keep drinking when I'm a little pissed off."

"Uh huh." What else could I say? I know my sister. Pam works hard, goes to church, volunteers on all sorts of committees, but sometimes when Pam gets riled up, crazy things happen.

"It rained like hell. The place was packed. Everybody stayed outside and moved closer together to keep from getting wet. We met some people. It was fun.

"Then I overheard a lady mention she couldn't do anything with her hair and wished she could shave it off. So I told her how I'd shaved my hair off when Candy was diagnosed with breast cancer."

Pam can do that. In a heart beat she can strike up a conversation with anybody about anything.

"So, then what?" I asked.

"When the rain stopped, the band started up again. I was dancing by myself, like usual. A bunch of people were dancing. Then hair lady's husband comes up and asks me to dance. You know I'm not like that, so I said no. He nods his head, yes. That made me uncomfortable, so I went and pole danced in front of Buddy."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, afraid to hear her answer.

"Well, I just kind of danced in front of him flirty like, suggestive, twerky. You know. I don't want Buddy thinking I'd dance with other guys just because he doesn't like to."

That's true. The only time I've ever seen Pam dance with another guy is if it's family.

"So, go on."

"My feet were wet. So was the deck. It was a little slippery too and next thing I know, my feet slip out from under me and I'm flat on my back looking up at a bunch of legs and butts. Buddy helped me get up. My leg and my foot hurt real bad. I knew then it was time to go home. He agreed. Imagine that. He agreed. So we left. I was limping."

I wanted to ask her how much she'd had to drink, but I didn't.

"The parking lot lights sobered me up. You know my eyes are sensitive and those lights were like hot, white rods piercing my eye balls and boring into my brain. Suddenly, right then and there, I decided I wasn't getting in the truck. He'd had way too much to drink. That's my point. He wants to drink and drive, another thing we always fight about. I mean, why don't we just call a cab? But no, he thinks he's made of titanium or something. So, I started walking."

"Walking? What time was it?"

"I don't know; but I was determined to walk home. I could hear him behind me, calling my name and yelling at me to get in the truck. I didn't listen and just kept walking."

"What were you thinking?" I asked. I'm the boring one. Never in a million years would I consider walking off in the middle of the night by myself. I don't even like to take the trash out after dark.

"For awhile I wasn't thinking anything," she answered.

"Did he come after you?"

"At that point I didn't care if he did or not. I was just glad I'd taken a stand. Maybe he did, but then I crossed to the north side of the road."

"North? But you live south."

"I know, but I started thinking about walking to Colorado. Don't ask me why. So, I walked west on 527, then north on Orange River, then west on Myrtle Avenue headed towards the interstate."

"Oh my God, Pam."

"I walked quite a ways. My foot was hurting so bad I finally sat down to rest under a tree by Taco Bell. I was thinking to myself I'm not going back when this girl walks by talking on a cell phone. It was then I realized I didn't have my phone with me. Not only that, I didn't have ID, no money, nothing. So I ask this girl 'Where you going?' For a minute there I was going to ask to use her phone. But I didn't.

"'I'm just out walking' she says. I ask her why. So she gets off the phone and tells me this story about how she's just had a fight with her boyfriend. She offers me a cigarette, menthol no less. I smoked it anyway."

Pam struggles with quitting smoking. I've never smoked. "You used to smoke my Salem lights." I didn't know what else to say.

Pam continued. "Yeah well, she goes on and on about this, that and the other, and her kids are with this guy, but now she's going to meet up with somebody else. Suddenly I need to get away from her. You know what I mean?"

Boy, did I.

"So I told her I had to go and when she asked me where I was going, I told her, 'to Colorado'. Can you believe I said that? Sheesh." She shook her head.

Was that remorse I detected?

"I knew I wasn't going to get very far on foot and that's when I figured I needed a bike. And, you know, that had to be a premonition, because as I'm walking farther up the road, this guy rides a bike into the parking lot in front of this mini mart. I walked right up to him and asked if I could have it.

"You didn't."

"Yes, I did. I mean, I had to have a bike."

"So what did he say?"

" He said 'No', but I insisted. He said he couldn't let me have it because it was all he had. 'But I really need it' I told him, and when he asked me why, I told him I was on my way to Colorado and I certainly couldn't walk all the way there. He asked why I wanted to go to Colorado, but then he says 'Sorry, it's none of my business.' Isn't that just the sweetest? Then he says he has to go in the store for something and leaves me standing there by his bike. Now, you know, I could have stolen that bike right then and there."

"But you didn't."

"No I didn't. I wouldn't do that. Honestly, I did think about it though. When he came back out, I asked him why was the bike all he had. He tells me he just got out of jail. That probably should have scared me, but it didn't. He didn't seem scary. I mean, he was a little guy, smaller than me. It was hot out, but you know, he had on a blue ball cap and a dark blue, long sleeve jacket and dark blue pants, you know, like those Dickie work pants you get at Wal-Mart. I asked him what he'd been in jail for. He said he got a DUI and had spent the last six months in jail. Can you believe it?"

What I believed was that if he'd spent six months in jail, he'd probably been charged with more than one DUI, and she probably wasn't any safer with him than she would have been getting in the truck with Buddy, but I didn't say anything. I'm learning. Silence is golden.

"Then he asks me, 'What's your name sweetheart, so I told him…um… my name is Sally."

"You didn't!"

"Well, I couldn't tell him my real name."

"Well you didn't have to tell him mine." I got up from the table then and walked to the counter and asked for a refill. I had to cool off. I took a deep breath, poured some half and half in my coffee and went back to the table and sat down.

"Anyway, I didn't tell him your last name," Pam said. "Don't worry about it."

Easy for her to say. "So, then what?" I asked, shaking my head.

"Well, he asked me if I'd been drinking and I told him yes. Then he asked me if I'd had a fight with my husband and I said no and that was the truth.

"So then he asks me why a respectable lady like me is out walking alone in the middle of the night, and then he apologized again saying it was none of his business. 'What makes you think I'm respectable' I ask him? 'Look at you' he says.

"Like, what's to look at?" she asked me.

"Well, you're not skanky." I said. She just looked at me.

"'Why don't you go home?' he says to me. 'Nope,' I tell him. 'I'm not going home.' Then he tells me to come on, he'd walk with me awhile, tells me it isn't safe for me to be out there by myself. I told him I wasn't afraid, that I had God to protect me. 'Thank God you do' he says. Wasn't that sweet? So I ask him his name. 'Victor, what's your name?' Sally, I tell him again. I think he was testing me because he'd already asked me once.

"You didn't tell him your name." I said, but she ignored me.

"Then I figure, if I'm lying, maybe he is too, so I ask him, 'How do I really know you're Victor?' and he shows me his ID. I could barely read it because I didn't even have my glasses. I could read Victor on the ID, but I couldn't read the last name. Then he asks me if I have ID and I pulled out my empty pockets and showed him I didn't have a thing on me."

My sister and I both have families. I swear, I wanted to shake her but all I could do was shake my head again.

"We kept walking. Then Victor tells me it isn't safe to go any farther tonight, but I wanted to get as far as I could before I stopped. I was afraid if I stopped, I wouldn't keep going. He kept insisting it wasn't safe. 'There's nothing out there. It's stupid you going out there walking by yourself in the dark. Come sleep at the camp', he says, 'when you get up in the morning you can decide then what you're going to do.'"

"What camp?" I ask her.

"That's exactly what I asked. 'A homeless camp,' he says to me. Then I ask him, 'what do you mean a homeless camp?' 'I already told you,' he says. 'I'm homeless because I just got out of jail.' Well, that didn't tell me anything, but I didn't push it. The wine was starting to wear off, and I was getting tired. I told him I just wanted to lay down. 'You should go home then,' he tells me. 'Nope I'm not going home,' I told him."

"Why didn't you go home, Pam?"

"I don't know. It was five miles in the other direction. My foot was killing me and I'm so tired of the yelling and the drinking. I was still imagining Colorado and that wonderful mountain air."

"It's October, probably already snowing out there," I said.

"I know."

"Well, did you stay in this camp?"

"Yes, I did. It's up there across the street from Aldi's behind the medical center."

"Christ, that's up there by the hood."

"That's what Victor said. How come I didn't know that?"

"Because you're ignorant." I was still mad at her for using my name.

"That's why he said I should stay in the camp for the night. I'd be safer. So, right then I tell him I wasn't going in there if he thought we were going to have sex."

"Oh my God."

"Well I had to get that straight right off the bat."

"What did he say?"

"He stops walking, looks right at me and says, 'Ok, no sex.' Then he tells me he believes I'll make it to Colorado because I'll probably talk my way there. He turns away from the road and walks behind a big brick building. I didn't know it was the medical center until the next day. I saw the woods and had my first regret right there. I had no idea what was in those woods, but I followed him because I wasn't afraid of Victor."

"You're scaring me to death."

"Well, don't be scared. I'm fine. Anyhow, I followed him along a trail. The bushes were wet. The ground was wet. My legs and my feet were wet. Everything was wet."

"What were you wearing?" like that mattered. The whole thing seemed unreal to me.

"Jeans shorts and a black and white top."

"Tsk!" I was amazed at her audacity. "Then what?"

"He said he had three comforters, he just had to find them. I was hoping they were dry. Then I felt bad for thinking that. I wondered many times he'd slept in the rain. We walked farther and came to a small clearing. I saw two tents and he walked toward one. I'm thinking, well at least I'm going to sleep in a tent. But then, like he read my mind, he says we can't sleep in the tent, it isn't his, but the comforters are and so he was going to get them. All the time he's shushing me to be quiet, which, believe me, I was. Some guy from the other tent calls out 'who's there?' 'It's Victor. I'm just getting my comforters.' He never said a word about me.

"He roots around in this tent and comes out with his arms full of blankets. One's in a clear plastic bag like you get when you buy a new comforter, and I'm standing there wondering how he got a new one if he's homeless. Then he walks away from the clearing and into the bushes again.

"I'm looking at all the trash laying around and thinking about snakes, but mostly I just wanted to lay down. 'This spot is good' he says. So he spread out one blanket and then spreads another one on top of it. 'There,' he says, 'lay down.' 'No sex,' I say. 'No sex,' he says. I lay down. The blanket smelled like cat pee. He unzips the clear plastic bag and takes out that comforter and puts it on top of me. I couldn't believe how comfortable it was. Then I felt him lay down next to me. I was glad he was there. I wasn't scared. I felt safe with him." She paused then and just stared through me.

"When did you go home?" I asked her, because obviously she had. After all we're sitting here having coffee. But Pam had to tell the story her own way.

"I woke up sometime later with a banging headache. My mouth tasted like garbage and I had to pee so bad. And, of course, I thought of Buddy. I hoped he hadn't called the cops, and I was thinking he was probably worried sick.

"Ya think?"

"I was a little surprised he hadn't driven up Myrtle Ave. and found me. I mean I was walking in broad day light."

"I thought you said it was night."

"Well, you know what I mean. Anyway, a light was shining in my eyes but it was only the moon, and bright as anything. I was surprised the mosquitoes weren't worse. Victor was still asleep and I didn't want to wake him up. He'd been so nice to me.

"I was feeling guilty as hell and like a total idiot because I didn't want to go to Colorado anymore. I wanted to go home, but it was still dark and I was going to have to walk. So I laid there until it started getting light, hating myself, hoping Buddy hadn't called the cops and wishing Victor would wake up.

"Then he rolls over and starts running his hand up and down my side. That scared me, so I sat up and Victor stood right up.

"'Alright' he says to me, 'what're you going to do?' 'I'm going home,' I say. 'That's right,' he says to me. I go and pee behind a bush while he folds up the blankets. We carry them back to that clearing where the tents were. From inside the other tent a guy calls out 'who's there' and Victor says, 'it's me, Victor, and I have a respectful lady with me. She's okay.' Victor disappears behind a bush and I'm frozen to the spot. The guy in the tent calls out, 'What's your name?' I pretended I didn't hear him. Then he asks again. 'What's your name?' So I told him."

"What'd you say?"

"Sally."

"You're a mess," I said.

"Well," she whined.

"Just tell me the rest," I said with disgust.

"Okay. Then the guy in the tent says 'Nice to meet you." And I say 'nice to meet you too'. I couldn't see his face but I figured he could probably see mine. I was mortified. That little interaction right there; I mean the whole normalness of it, the manners thing from a homeless guy out in the middle of nowhere. That got me, so I start walking out of the woods and I hear someone behind me and I'm praying it's Victor. I hear 'Alright' again and I know it's him.

"It was lighter in the parking lot than it was in the woods and I kept going, still limping. When I didn't hear him anymore, I didn't look back and I hoped he'd just stopped and was watching me go now that it was day light. Next thing I know he's right there beside me. 'I had to stop and brush my teeth' he says.

"Well, I just looked at him and thought about the brilliance of that one simple thing. I didn't even have a toothbrush. I didn't have a damned thing so I said to him 'the next time I get a hair brained idea about walking off I guess I better make sure I have a toothbrush."

"Yes, you better,' he says to me. He's pushing his bike and asks me again what I'm going to do. I tell him I'm going to the mini mart to call my husband. Then I realize I don't even know if they havea pay phone and I don't have a quarter anyway. When we get there, he goes inside ahead of me and asks the clerk if I can use his phone. That's when I called Buddy."

"What did you say to him?"

"I said I was sorry to worry him, told him where I was and asked if he would please come pick me up?"

"What did he say?"

"He said he'd be there in a few minutes."

"That's all?"

"That's all."

"Did Victor stay with you until Buddy got there?"

"No. He asked me three times if I was really going home and I told him I was. Then he says to me, 'I don't want to see you here again when I come by later.'

"'You won't,' I tell him. Then you know what he says to me?"

"No what."

"He says to me, 'What's your name again? Sassy?'"

"Sassy, that was a good one. And frankly, it embarrassed me, but I figured I deserved it so I said 'yeah, my name's Sassy.' I looked down at my sore foot. It's swollen and I'm wondering if something's broken and I see my stupid self flat on my back on that stupid dance floor. When I looked up he was riding away."

"You were lucky." I told her.

"It was more than that," she said. "I think he was my guardian angel."

I nodded and took another sip of my coffee.

THE END