Chapter 1. I count the ways I let you down
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. This word described Rumple's life the best at the moment. He screwed things up with Belle again. And this time he wasn't sure if he could fix this.
He didn't know what hurt the most, that she didn't want to see him again , or what she said to him.
''Maybe I was wrong, Maybe you are a monster. Maybe you haven't changed at all.'' Her words whispered through his head. It was like the pieces of his heart broke in even tinier pieces.
When he lost his son, his Bae, all he had left was Belle and her believe in him. And now he had lost that too. He stared down at the teacup in his hands. It was like he was back in the dark castle again, she was gone and all he had left was her chipped cup.
Damn you Zelena, if it wasn't for you I'd have both of them with me, was all Rumple could think. He needed to fix things with Belle. Tell her that he had changed and that killing Zelena was a mistake but that he understood it now. Tell her that he loved her and that I would everything to prove her that he had changed. He knew that wouldn't be easy. He had screwed up so many times. Even back in their land when he sent her away. He still regretted it even though she said she understood him. How could she if he didn't understand it himself? Then you had that time with Regina, She also forgave him, but why would she do that, he wasn't a good man for her, even Rumple knew that himself, even after all they have been through. And that you also had that time when her father kidnapped her and she didn't want to see either of them ever again. And last but not least he had killed Zelena and to do that he had proposed to her with a fake dagger. He had to admit it was a really stupid thing to do, but he couldn't let that bitch get away with murder. Especially not Bae's murder. Oh damn, this was gonna be really hard.
When Belle ran out of Rumple's salmon house all she wanted was to go to her apartment and never leave it again. She felt tears running down her cheeks but she didn't care. How could he do that to me? I thought we were past that, how could he marry me without telling me this? Do I even mean anything to him? All this questions were running through her head but she didn't know the answers. How could she be so stupid to believe this, that this time it would be different, every time she gave him another chance he did something like this. But every time she trusted him again. Well, not this time. This time he had to show her that he had changed. Until then I will not forgive him, she promised herself.
When she arrived at her apartment, she realized how little time she had spent here. She was always at Rumple's. Dust was gathering around on the furniture and she really needed to clean things up before locking herself up in here. But she couldn't lock herself up in here without buying some food first, she realized when she opened up the fridge. She grabbed her bag of the bed where she had threw it down when she came in, and walked out of her home – it should be her home, but it didn't felt like it- and went to the grocery story.
She walked on the main street when she suddenly heard somebody yelling her name
''Belle!''
That sounded awful familiar, the only person she didn't want – couldn't – talk to right now.
Rumplestiltskin.
''Belle!'' he yelled when he saw her walking on the main street. He had decided to go to her place and convince her that he was sorry and that he had changed, when he saw her walking around. When she didn't turned around and respond to his call, he first thought that she didn't heard him. So he tried it again, this time a little louder
''Belle!''
Again no reaction. Damn you, leg, Rumple thought and he started to run in her direction.
''Belle darling, please we need to talk'' he said when he stopped behind her, grabbed her shoulder and turned her around.
''No Rumple, we don't need to talk. I don't want to hear any more lies, I'm done with it.''
''Belle, I promise, I'm changed''
''No you're not, if you were changed you wouldn't have done this. And I don't only mean lying to me, but also killing Zelena. Indeed, she was an evil witch but I believed you were better than her, but now, I'm not so sure anymore.''
''But Belle..''
''No Rumple, I don't want to hear it. You broke my heart when you lied to me. You said you trusted me. You trusted me with a god damn fake dagger. I thought I meant more to you than this.''
''But Belle, you do, I love you more than my own life, and I would do anything to show you that I have changed, that I can be a good man for you.''
''You know what Rumple? Show me. Show me that you can be brave and selfless. When you can prove me that you are changed, that you're a better man, maybe then I'll be able to forgive you. ''
''What do you want me to do sweetheart?''
''Oh no, not like this, I'm not going to give you some task you have to fulfil. Oh no, you're gonna have to do it because it's your own choice. Not because I say you have to do it. '' and with that as her final words she turned around and walked away.
Earlier that day
It was so dark, Belle wasn't even sure if it was day or night. It almost felt like the asylum again, but this room – was it even a room? – didn't even have a window.
She couldn't remember much, the last thing she could remember was kissing Rumple goodbye and leaving to go to the library, she had to do a few more things before she could finally open it, but after that memory she knew nothing about what happened next. She did know that there had happened something, otherwise she wouldn't be here.
She let her eyes get used to the darkness and looked around. Was that her purse standing one the ground over there? Did they really just left it there? She walked over there and grabbed her purse, hoping there was something in there that could help her escape.
Where is my phone? She thoughed while going through her purse. They – he/her?- must have grabbed it before leaving the purse over here. Is there something else I can use? She thought when suddenly she felt it. Rumple's dagger. She could summon him and he would come and save her.
''Rumplestiltskin I summon thee'' She whispered to the dagger.
There happened nothing
Nothing? How is that possible? He can't resist the dagger, he has to come. She thought and she started to panic. What if something bad had happened to him? What if he couldn't save him because he had to be saved himself? Tears where fallen down her cheeks when she started to think what could have happened to him.
She kept crying for the next few hours till she didn't have any more to tears and she was too exhausted to cry. She needed to stop crying and find a way to leave this place.
First, she needed to get things straight to know what happened to her. Okay she thought first I need to know what I do remember. My name is Belle French, Gold I mean. I'm married to my true love Rumplestiltskin. He proposed with his dagger, and with that dagger I could summon him to save me. But it didn't work. So that mean something awful has happened to him, otherwise he would be here right know. The last thing I remember is walking to the library and then, nothing. There has to be a way to remember what has happened between that final moment and the moment I wake up here in this room.
But before she could even think about a way to remember this, the door opened and Rumplestiltskin ran to her, grabbed her by her shoulders, hugged her and whispered in her ear,
''My darling Belle, is everything alright? What happened? who did this to you? Are you hurt?''
''No Rumple I'm fine, I'm not hurt, I don't know what happened to me. But what happened to you, why didn't you came for me when I summoned you, what happened?'' She asked him.
''Belle..'' he said, trying to find a way out of this.
''Rumple, what's going on?'' And then she realized it. There could be another reason when he didn't came for her. If the dagger wasn't real, he didn't have to respond to it.
''Rumple.. please tell me this isn't a fake dagger?''
''Belle..''
''Rumple, Tell me!''
''Sweetheart..''
''Rumplestiltskin, you're gonna tell me if this dagger is real or not, or I'll kill you. ''
''Kill me dearie? That's gonna take a lot more..''
''Answer me!''
''Belle.. you.. you have to believe I didn't do it to betray your trust but..''
''So it's a fake!''
''Yes it is.''
It felt like Belle's heart broke to pieces. So their whole marriage was based on a lie? But if he had the real dagger that means he could..
''Rumple, did you kill Zelena?''
''She killed Bae sweetheart..''
''Answer me!''
Rumple sighed. ''Yes I did.''
Belle's grief turned to anger. ''You lied to me, how could you Rumple? After all we have been through?''
''Belle, I know you're upset, but please let me get you out of this.. '' he looked around the little room. ''Room.. and the we continue this conversation if you want to''
Without waiting for her respond he transported them to his house.
''Rumplestiltskin. Why did you do this? You married me for God's sake when you knew it was all based on a lie''
''Sweetheart.. it wasn't all a lie my feelings for you are real please remember that.''
''I'm trying to, but all I can think about right now is all the times you betrayed my trust. I should have known it wouldn't be different this time. '' She sighed and looked him straight into his amber colored eyes. ''Maybe I was wrong, Maybe you are a monster. Maybe you haven't changed at all.''
''Belle, don't say that! I'm changed, I really am. I am so sorry, please let me make this up to you.
''How would you wanna do that, give me a red rose? A necklace? You can't make this up by giving me presents Rumplestiltskin. And how do I know this isn't some way to regain my trust again so you could betray it later all over again. I can't take this anymore Rumple. The lies, the pain, the tears. I just can't do this anymore. I just.. don't wanna see you again'' She turned on her heels and walked out of the house leaving Rumple behind with tears in his eyes. He walked to the door, closed it, and starting to do the thing he was good at. Destroying things. Just as he destroyed the thing he had with Belle.