For Larxenefirefly's Hitsuhina contest! *Warning* Angst in the beginning. But ending's worth it, I promise!

Enjoy!

I hadn't truly spoken to her in almost a decade.

It wasn't as if we'd fought or anything. It was simply how things worked out, time after time. There always seemed to be something that kept us apart, something that provided a reason for us to not make contact. And to my dismay, many times, almost too many times, it was my fear of something that might've…changed. Something that might've changed since she'd left, since we'd drifted so far apart. She'd become distant, like she'd found herself a goal of some sort. After that, it had been too awkward to talk to her in the manner we'd spoken with as children. It didn't seem right to be at that much ease with someone who'd become almost a complete stranger.

I still remember the last time we spoke, and I mean really spoke. A day in a life that felt perfect, and now was lost in the unreachable depths of the void called the past, the keeper of lives lived, loved, and forgotten.

My life in the past, however, was not forgotten.

(Flashback taken from the dialogue and drawing of Bleach: -17.Prelude for the Straying Stars)

"See you later, Shiro-chan!" Momo chimed as she gently patted my spiky white hair, smiling kindly at me as she did so.

I merely scowled, a scowl that many had pointed out had grown with me and now appeared on my ten-year-older face frequently.

I'd been a child then, immature, selfish, and hurt. Momo and Granny were the only ones who eased my pain, yet now here Momo was, leaving me.

"I told you not to call me that!" I snapped, cold and distant as usual despite the fact that my only friend was going away.

She giggled as she turned and began to run. "I'll call you by your real name when you're old enough to go to the same school as me!" She called back as she ran for the gate, for her first day at the Shinigami Academy.

I merely yelled, "No way! I'm not going to that Soul Reaper school!"

Momo ignored my comment. "I'm going to be living in the dorms now, but I'll come see you on my vacations!" She said as she dashed through the iron wrought gate.

And with that, she was gone.

And yet, my childish self couldn't help but add, "Don't bother. Momo…you stupid bed-wetter…"

I cringe whenever I recall that day, that precious day that I'd squandered as a child. To this day, to this moment, I still feel bothered that those had been the last meaningful words we'd exchanged for so long a time. How much I would've said had I realized that that would be my last carefree moment with her! And yet, the inevitable happened, at least inevitable to me now. She'd begun to visit only very rarely, and when she did her attention and words were fleeting and awkward. Again with that feeling she gave off, the feeling that she'd found herself a goal. Soon, she did not visit at all.

And then, I'd entered the Academy. She'd kept her promise, after I'd graduated and becoming Captain she did call me by my real name, but it hurt me even more. The pain of a formal, "Hello, Captain Hitsugaya." as some of the very few words she said to me was unbearable. And after continuing our semi-silence for eight years, she'd left for a two year mission in the real world without saying even goodbye. Even though we hadn't really spoken beforehand, the confirmation that no, I wouldn't get even a glimpse of her today, was one of the worst things to know throughout the course of my daily life.

And there was always the question: Why?

Why did it have to be so, that I feel so distant from her that I can't bear to speak with her? Why had this…tension formed between us, a tension that prevented us from forgetting all of those fleeting, distant words and forming friendship anew? Why hadn't she said goodbye?

Why hadn't she tried to speak with me either before she'd left?

Had she been too ashamed to be seen with me, the icy, child prodigy? Was her goal to important to her that she couldn't bring herself to share it with me? And then…her leaving for two years. How could she leave without even a formal goodbye? The doubt that my questions created…it weighed down on my scarred heart like an iron anchor, as if some deity had decided to lay the burden of the universe upon it. And yet, the reason for that weight was so petty! It was as if some god with a sick sense of humor had decided to destroy a relationship as innocent and pure as childhood friends with a reason so small, yet so powerful. That reason isn't even entirely clear to me, either. All I know is that after that fateful, precious day, we began to drift, like leaves from the same tree caught in two different gusts of wind. Yet I had to ask, over and over: Why did it have to be me and Momo?

Momo…my dear, sweet, beautiful Momo…

Why have I lost you?

My thoughts obscured my awareness of the world around me, like a veil between the world and my senses. I fiddled with the bluish green sash of Hyorinmaru's sheath around my shoulders as I absently kicked a pebble in my path. It skidded, each tumble and roll of it mirroring the turmoil that was my mind at that moment. But suddenly, the comforting sound of the small rock hitting the concrete pavement changed as it landed on the sandy ground of the training courts.

I looked up, startled at the sudden change in surrounding. My broodings of Momo, of everything, momentarily left my mind as I took in the area around me. It was a pleasant day, sunny yet with enough of a nip in the air to content my wintry weather preferences. The sandy arena that was the training ground was freshly raked, and the trees lining the place had sunlight streaming through their leaves. The odd cherry blossom trees' flowers also had light going through their delicate petals, and the clashing green and pink light danced on the surface of whatever it touched. Invisible birds sang their songs in the distance, and an occasional hell butterfly fluttered by as it continued on its way towards whoever its burden was for. Normal butterflies dotted the powder blue, slightly clouded sky at less regular intervals. There were several shinigami training in the sunny part of the arena, usually in pairs or groups. Only one shinigami occupied the shaded part of the arena, protected by the looming shadow of a nearby building. I breathed in deeply. I did prefer winter, but it didn't mean I couldn't appreciate a perfect spring.

I almost smiled. Hyorinmaru had noticed me slowly drowning in my depressing thoughts, and had insisted that I come here and train with him. I really did owe him one. My darker contemplations had returned to my mind, but lay on the fringes of my thinking along with more involuntary thoughts rather than being in the center of my attention. Hyorinmaru's smirking within his steel confinement was almost palpable.

I totally told you so. He said smugly, his words echoing in my head in the thought-like manner that Zanpakutou speak with their counterparts.

Fine, you did. I said as I shrugged off my white captain's haori. I removed Hyorinmaru from his turquoise sheath, much to his delight.

Bankai? He asked, pleading tones underlying his words.

I shook my head. Shikai for today. I'm not up to that, and there're too many people around.

Reign over the frosted heavens, Hyorinmaru. I thought. Ever since achieving bankai, there hadn't been a need to say the command out loud.

A chill fell over the arena as Hyorinmaru sprouted a chain from his hilt, tipped with a steel crescent blade. Many of the other training shinigami stopped and looked over, save for the one in the shade. After seeing that a Captain was training, the majority of the people began to leave the field, save for the person in the shade and a few people in fights too intense to stop immediately. A small boy accompanying a group of trainees, probably the son of one of them, fainted from the release of my reiatsu. This concerned me somewhat, but Hyorinmaru stoutly reminded me that this happened often and that the child would reawake within a few minutes.

He'll be fine, there goes his mother now. The dragon stated. Indeed, a woman I recognized to be from the Third division hurried over and picked her son up. Now then, how about trying an ice bridge to warm up? He continued, chuckling somewhat. Warm up, get it?

I ignored the bad joke and did as he suggested, creating a bridge under my feet and that carried me over the arena in a low, graceful arc. I was doing fine, crouching as the bridge carried me a couple of feet off the ground, until I decided to look down for the young boy and chanced upon something I hadn't expected to see today, not today especially. The shock of seeing it caused me to involuntarily stop the ice flow completely, the abrupt halt making my feet slide forward slightly on the slick bridge, causing me to almost slip. It was good that the field was empty, for the move seemed comical even to me. But I barely cared. I was too busy staring at the hauntingly familiar figure of a girl with her chocolate brown hair up in a bun, covered with cloth and tied with dangling ribbons.

She had her back to me, and had her unreleased Zanpakutou out and was gracefully swinging it through several Tai-Chi-like sword maneuvers. First, she thrusted forward, and then twisted her wrist slightly to change the direction of her sword's tip, changing her foot work as she did so. Her right hand flipped the weapon in a graceful twirl that made it land in her left, where she performed several other patterns, shifting the weight on each foot continuously. She continued through every maneuver imaginable, the patterns becoming more and more difficult and complex as she carried on. Finally, she executed a complicated flip that caused her to turn around and face forward. Her eyes were completely focused on the shining blade, but I suppose the intensity of my gaze caused her to look up. She gasped, and dropped the weapon she had had complete control over just seconds ago.

"Shir-Captain Hitsugaya?" she whispered.

I merely nodded, slightly dumbfounded.

To my dismay, she bowed to me. "Pleased to see you again, Captain. How long have you been training at this court today?" She nervously looked behind me as she rose from her bow and eyed the slowly melting ice bridge.

At first, I couldn't speak. My mouth felt drier than paper. Finally, I managed to rasp out, "When did you return from your mission, Hinamori?"

She flushed. "A few days ago, Captain."

My world began to tumble to pieces. A few days ago? She's been here that long, and I haven't seen her? I looked down at my hands, which were clutching the hilt of Hyorinmaru tightly.

To my surprise, I saw her smile the tiniest of smiles in my peripheral vision. "You've gotten taller than me while I've been gone."

I looked up, shocked. Indeed, I had gotten taller than her. After a lifetime of looking up at her, I was almost looking downward now. Again, I was at loss for words. An uncomfortable silence began to drag out, and Momo started to look more uneasy.

I cleared my throat. "So, how was your mission?"

She suddenly looked very tired at the mention of it. "Oh, well…it was alright. Tiring, but occupying."

I nodded.

"Captain…how have you been?" she whispered.

I shifted uncomfortably. "Fine, I guess. Not much has happened over the past couple years. My bankai matured somewhat, but that's about it."

She smiled weakly at this. "That's good to hear. It'll be full-fledged soon, I bet, what with your intellect and all."

I nodded again. "Yeah, I guess…"

The curiosity burning inside of me was beginning to get somewhat unbearable. After so long of doubting, the aching desire to understand was eating me from inside more rapidly. It was at that moment that I decided that…I had to know. I felt my expression involuntarily become pained from the thought of every question I'd asked over the past few years, and Momo saw the change. Her own expression became strained, and I regretted showing my feelings. Nonetheless, I had decided.

Before I could say anything, she spoke. "Captain…what's wrong?"

"Hinamori…" I looked down at Hyorinmaru's blade, unable to meet her gaze. My voice dropped down to the barest of whispers as I asked, "why didn't you say goodbye?"

She looked as if she was about to cry. "Captain Hitsugaya…I…"

I looked up at her, too uneasy to say anything. I hadn't wanted to make her cry.

Momo looked down at the sandy ground, clasping her hands as she did so. She looked like a child being chastised by its teacher.

"Captain, that question's been bothering me for two years now. And to this day, I still can't answer it completely. That day…I just…couldn't bring myself to face you, after so many years of hurting you. I've felt so incomplete, after realizing was I'd done to you after I left for the academy. I didn't notice it for so long, and that was what hurt me the most. But I can imagine," She looked up at me, tears now streaking down her cheeks, "it hurt you more."

There was a heavy pause.

"Toshiro, I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye." She whispered.

My tongue seemed to be made of leather, and moved sluggishly. It took me a moment to coordinate it enough that I was sure it would be able to form coherent words.

"Momo…it's alright…" I managed to croak out.

At this, more sparkling tears began to form at her eyes. She wrung her hands together as she tried to speak, finally managing to choke, "N-no! It's n-not alright! I p-promised you that I wouldn't leave you, and I did! I left you even before I went on m-my mission!" Then, her voice became stronger as she looked at me and looked into my eyes with a gaze that felt like it burned. "Don't try and tell me that I didn't hurt you, Toshiro! Don't tell me that you didn't feel it too!" At this, she began to sob. "Our friendship fell apart, and oh, it was all my fault…all my fault…" She collapsed to her knees, kneeling and bowing her head as if in repentance.

Almost instinctively, without thinking, I kneeled beside her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, cradling and holding her head in the crook of my neck.

"Oh, Momo…shhh…it's ok…it's alright…"

I continued to croon to her, gently comforting her as I wiped away her tears until she was only sniffling. I held her, hardly believing that after so long a time of not being able to do so that today, of all days, I could. I breathed in her scent, a scent that smelled so much like home and happiness to me that it was almost paralyzing. I stroked her hair, its silkiness triggering nostalgic memories of my doing so as we would lie side by side at night in the Rukongai. After so long of feeling the emptiness of her absence, after so long of feeling the pain of her distant words…everything felt right.

I pulled back from her, looking at her beautiful face as I smiled, a true smile that hadn't been on my face in almost a decade.

"Momo."

She sniffled.

I almost laughed. "Momo, you baka*. It's not…all your fault, you know." As I said this, my faint smile faded, and I looked down ashamedly. "I should've persisted on seeing you more even after you left for the academy. I could barely speak with you because I didn't, and that grew into what we've experienced these past few years. You had a dream, and I should've supported you throughout it. I'm…I'm sorry too, Momo, for not being there for you, through everything."

A solitary, glittering, gem-like tear slid down her pale cheek. "But if I hadn't left-"

I quickly placed my finger on her mouth, silencing her. "Momo, we were both destined to become Soul Reapers. It was just difficult to accept it and adapt to that fact, that's all." I smiled, remembering a conclusion I came to while in my darker contemplations. "Our old lives are held in the past. Our life before you left for school is in it, and so are the lives we had after you left. And yes, they are three separate lives." My smile widened as I placed my hands on the sides of her shoulders and helped her up. She stared at me almost blankly as she rose. "But now, Momo, this is another life. We can forget or love the lives we had in the past. But this life is now, and we should live it."

I raised my hand and wiped that lone, sparkling tear off her satin cheek and held it up to the golden sunlight, marveling at the way it caught and bended the light. The tear rolled off my finger, falling gently down to the earth until it hit the sandy surface of the ground with a muffled splash. I looked back at Momo's face and smiled.

She looked up, staring into my eyes with such a look of wonder that it might've been a hundred years, not ten years, since she'd seen them. She smiled up at me.

"You have a way with words now as well, now?"

I chuckled. "I guess, but I doubt I got it from training my bankai."

She smiled kindly at me, the same smile she'd had that day so long ago. "I missed you, Shiro-chan." She whispered.

I smiled, a tiny smile, and went up and hugged her tightly. She laughed and patted my hair, just like she'd done when I'd been a child, except this time she didn't have to reach down. "I missed you too, Bedwetter-Momo." I whispered into her hair.

Just then, a shard of light caught my eye. I looked down at its source, and saw Tobiume's blade reflecting the sunlight of the day, muffled slightly by the sand it had been dropped in. I released Momo and crouched down and picked it up, marveling at the slightly pink tint the steel seemed impregnated with. I straightened and handed the sword to Momo, touching her hand slightly as she took it.

"Speaking of training, how about some sword practice?"

Momo smiled. "That sounds perfect, seeing as I never got to spar with you before."

We bowed slightly to each other, and then began to slowly practice our swordsmanship. We moved fluidly, our swings and thrusts slow to start off with but then quickening with each meeting of steel. It was like a dance, graceful and seemingly choreographed.

Throughout the remainder of the day, we practiced, each swing and flash of our blades in the sunlight the confirmation that with this, a simple sparring, we were forging a friendship anew. And at the end of the day, when the sun was down and the Seireitei was quiet, we walked back to our divisions hand in hand, as equals, as friends.

Meanwhile, in the Mess Hall

"Yup, Renji," an only slightly drunk Matsumoto slurred, "I totally did it. You owe me that 200 Yen."

Renji scowled as he reached into his robes for the money. "I don't get it though. They hadn't spoken to each other in ages! How the hell did you manage it?"

Matsumoto winked. "Oh, I just told Momo that she should practice her sparring, and got a little favor from a *certain* icy dragon."

~The End~

Hope you liked it! I hope it wasn't too angsty in the beginning, but it had a happy ending, no? For Larxenefirefly's Hitsuhina contest. YE MUST REVIEW BY CLICKINGETH ONITH THE BIGGETH GREENETH BUTTONETH~!!!!!!! eth...xDD