Function
A/N: I was sad when I wrote this. But I can't really remember why, I wrote it a while ago, back a little before or sometime in Christmas. Ah well, I'm bad about writing out depressed, angsty stuff if I'm depressed and angsty XD Here is the outcome of such emotions.
But, on another note, I'm SO SORRY! DX I've disappeared for so long o.e See, I got a job, and it turns out, the place I got my job, is a nightmare. I love my managers, and my job, but the store itself…. O.O you have no idea. It….it….it's….I just can't even put it into words. Lol I have NO time now XD But, we're getting things worked out at work, and I have been getting some days off here and there, so I'm hoping to start writing again. :3 Please….take this tiny peace offering and the note that I am starting and almost finished with the next chapter of Loki Who.
Rating: T (For a little Blood)
Warnings: M/M paring –We all know I ship Tony/Loki-
NOTE: I don't own the Avengers or Loki. Everything belongs to Marvel.
-When Violence is all you've ever known, all you've ever seen, then how, pray tell, do you function without it?-
The city burned, the bright orange flames brighter than any of the lights. The fire glowed happily, eating away at the buildings and destroying everything in their path, even the concrete falling victim to the flames, melting and bubbling under the overpowering heat of fire. Loki smiled softly; the thick, choking smoke mixed with the stench of blood burned his eyes and throat. Looking down at his boney hands his brilliant green eyes seemed to glow in the night, and he stared at the blood on his hands, and a twisted smile split his lips. It was mixture of shame, pleasure…. joy and pain. It was so bitterly sweet that Loki felt drunk on the wretched mixture of self-loathing hate and power. And he constantly craved more, always more. It was never enough, there would never be enough. Loki knew this, and it pulled at his heart, but also filled him with a since of relief. It was something familiar to him, the slaughter and cries, the blood and fires….the pain and sick enjoyment. Loki knew he needed the familiarity, had to have it to function, and he was weak because of it, and that disgusted him. Growling loudly Loki hissed, his skeletal hands running through his hair and dampening it with the warm, red, sticky substance that coated his fingers. His sharp teeth ground against one another as he continued to ponder his weak heart and mind, but was suddenly roused from his thoughts when he heard the familiar hiss of rockets, then the cling of metal hitting the ground softly, carefully.
Loki, hands still fisted loosely in his dark ebony hair turned, looking to Tony with confused eyes. His mind was a chaotic mess, it always had been. Stark retracted his mask and let Loki see him, frowning softly as he slowly made his way over to the other, Loki still sitting at the edge of the building, his thin legs dangling over the side. Stalling beside him, Stark looked down, his warm brown eyes holding both rage and concern for Loki. Tony looked like he was ready to kill Loki, and not have a shred of guilt about it, but the billionaire also looked worried, as if he were ready to take the Demi-god in his arms and hold him tight.
The Trickster sighed softly, his body thin and boney. "Hello Tony…." Loki said softly, his voice blearily audible over the burning city and cries of its inhabitants.
Tony slowly sat down beside Loki. "Hey'a Loki, what happened?" He asked, a cold edge to his voice as he gestured to the crippled city.
Loki bit his lip softly, both twisted amusement and twisted self-hatred painting his face. Pulling at his hair softly, Loki bowed his head.
"I needed it…." He said softly, his eyes radiating both pleasure and pain. "I-I can't…." Loki bit his lip again, harder this time.
Tony waited, waiting for an answer-knowing fully well that his next actions would be chosen on the Trickster's words.
Loki felt his heart beat hard in his chest, winced as it beat painfully with emotion that he always keep locked away. Sucking in a deep breath, Loki looked back at Stark, his eyes bright and tortured.
"I-I can't ….I don't know how-I can't function if I don't…." Loki whimpered, a tormented smile, both joyfully pleased with his work, but also disgusted with it, stretched his thin pale lips as he laughed wretchedly. "It's all I've ever known." He said softly.
Tony frowned sadly, shifting slightly as Loki's laughing got louder, more erratic and strained. Wrapping cold metal arms around the Trickster, Stark pulled him close, Loki grabbing onto him as if his life depended on it. Stark's frown deepened….while Loki's life didn't depend on him, his sanity did. Tony knew he was the only thing keeping Loki tethered to what little sanity he had left, to awareness and feeling. He knew he was the only reason the blackness in Loki's soul hadn't over taken him, and Stark knew he was the only protector of Loki's last few shreds of humanity. And it hurt Tony, because despite this, Loki suffered so much. It was the only thing he fought against more than Loki, the only mission he was constantly on. Keeping Loki safe, protected from the harm of the world and its cruelty, was the one thing he always fought for. But despite how much he tried, how much all of the Avengers tried, Loki still suffered, and in turn, made others suffer, and it ripped and torn at Stark's heart violently, viciously. Tony held Loki tighter as the Demi-god laughed harder, the sound soon turning into confused, dry sobs.
"T-Tony….I-I don't know who I am anymore, I don't know what I am…." Loki whimpered softly, clinging to Stark, soaking up the comfort Tony gave him greedily.
Stark said nothing, only tightened his grip on Loki as he helped the other up, Loki's legs wobbling as the emotions wreaked havoc on his body.
"Come'on," Stark said softly. "We have to go." He said, leading Loki away and to the S.H.I.E.L.D carrier not far off, the others waiting inside.
Loki followed, his heart hurting and his brilliant green eyes dimming, losing a little of the light in them as Loki shut down, his heart hardening over again as he put up his protective wall. He could function again, now that he'd had his fill of destruction, and he smiled widely, the emotions died away and the burning emptiness of hate once again took over. Loki sneered hatefully at the others, his sharp teeth clicking as he snapped them together. Stark put down his mask again, the metal hissing shut, and he frowned. His heart beating painfully as he watched Loki retreat back into himself. He watched Loki disappear, and the living embodiment of hate take his place.
A/N: Yeah….I like the emotional basket case that is the mixture of the real Loki and the Marvel verse Loki XD It makes for great vent writing.
I'm so sorry I didn't do anything on here for so long DX I feel so bad about that.
