AN I don't own Marvel or any of its characters! Winterwidow one-shot fluffy implied
When Steve walked into the compound, all eyes went to him. And to the strong, muscular man who shuffled behind him and hid his face from them. Natasha watched them scan into the security system. She doubted that he would remember her-not at first, at least-but she remembered him and she hated those dead eyes and that defeated weight to his shoulders. She wasn't going to say a word, though. Not yet.
At the table, Fury and Tony glared at the oncoming pair but Natasha was there as a mediator, a peacekeeper, so she wasn't worried. She noticed, though, how Bucky flinched away from them. It was hard thinking of him as Bucky, now, when she was so used to knowing him as the Winter Soldier-Winter, when they were alone-but she was doing her best not to let their history show. He didn't seem to recognize her, more concerned with the men at the table.
"Buck, you remember Tony and this is Director Fury." She watched them stop beside the table and she watched Bucky glance them each over. He removed a gun from each of his sides and placed them in front of Fury and Tony, in front of her he placed a blade.
"What is..? Why is he doing this?" Steve shrugged and Bucky turned his face to the ground again when Tony tried to stare at him but Natasha felt her stomach drop. She choked and pushed the knife back across the table to him, hand shaking.
"No," Bucky's head shot up at the Russian but she just shook her head. "No, take it back." He did, wordlessly, but left the weapons in front of the others. Natasha couldn't breathe. The others stared at her, clearly aware that she saw something they didn't, but only Tony dared break the silence.
"What is he doing?" Natasha had to force herself to swallow hard and suck in a deep breath. She couldn't look away from that face or those cold, grey-blue eyes that she knew so well. He was strong and she could see where he'd started to rebuild, started to remember and heal himself, but that old habit so bluntly shoved in her face just shattered her.
"He's arming you." Bucky stared back at her. Something in his face flickered, but it wasn't recognition as much as it was surprise that she knew.
"Why?" Natasha winced but she couldn't make herself look away. She knew those eyes, that face, and she knew that cold apathy in his expression so well that she hated it. He wasn't supposed to look that hopeless.
"Because you're his new handlers," she whispered, barely choking out the words. "In case you want, or need, to put him down." Tears slipped out before she could stop them but those damn eyes bore into her until she could feel her heartbeat in her head. She was up and out of the room before she could blink. From the hallway, she heard their silence and Steve started to get up and go after her-she heard him mumble an excuse-but he was stopped. More silence. She bolted down the hall towards one of the rooms so she could hide but she felt the eyes on her-it was too late. When she did slip into one of the side doors, she knew he was close behind. She left the lights off and just slid to the floor, trying to stifle the tears. Why did it affect her so goddamn much!?
"May I come in?" She jumped at his voice, just outside the door, but stuttered out a yes. Silently, he joined her in the darkness. He didn't touch her, surprisingly, or try to console her he just sat cross legged in front of her on the floor and wrung his hands.
"I'm sorry." She shook her head, still trying to scrub the tears from her cheeks, but he just sighed. "I didn't mean to upset you." She made herself breathe. He didn't remember her, she had to keep telling herself that, and it wouldn't have made that much of a difference if he had. But somehow everything he did, every little quirk or habit that she recognized, managed to completely destroy her heart.
"No, it's not your fault. I knew you… back then." But he didn't look surprised. Had Steve told him that already? It wasn't in either of their files that she could remember but how else would he have known?
"I know." She gave him a quizzical look. "I remember you, Natalya." That one sentence knocked the wind out of her and she almost fell to the floor, barely catching herself with a hand on the cement. But Bucky-Winter, whatever she wanted to call him-just sat there.
"You.. remember me?" Suddenly, all the urges that she'd been suppressing came bubbling to the surface. She wanted to reach out to him, to take his hands in hers, to feel all the new scars and reassure herself that he was okay. But she couldn't, because he didn't remember her. But if he did?
"Of course I remember you,Talya. You were one of the best things that ever happened to me." The tears refused to be stopped and just poured out even as she choked and tried to silence herself. But he just sat there and looked at her.
"Can… Can I hug you, Winter?" He nodded, still managing to keep that dead empty expression, but she didn't care. She was across the room in an instant and pulling him into her arms in the tightest hug she could manage-but he didn't flinch away. That dead, emotionlessness slipped away and he hugged her back. The desperation in his grip, the way his hands shook against her sides, and even the way he buried his face into her shoulder all screamed of emotion and memories that she'd assumed were gone. But he just held her as she cried, waiting until she could breathe again.
"Talya," She kissed his temple to show she was listening. "I want to tell you something I was never allowed to before." The switch back to Russian made her nervous but nothing could compare to the relief of holding him like that after so many years… She was a little drunk on the feeling, to be honest. And the fact that he remembered her? She was willing to hear anything he wanted to say.
"You can tell me anything, Winter." He stroked her hair and nuzzled into the crook of her neck but he hesitated. Was it something bad? If he dropped some bomb on her like he was going to die soon or like hydra still had control of him she would kill him. No, not seriously because she could never bring herself to do it. But she would be angry.
"I love you,Talya, I love you so goddamn much. I kept forgetting and they would have killed you if I said anything but-"
"I love you too, Winter." He collapsed into her, as if he could finally relax having said what he needed to say, but she just held onto him. Never, in a million years, would she have imagined this. Dreamed it, maybe, but never consciously. To have him safe and human and here was more than she could have ever hoped for but this? This was heaven.
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