Author Note: Hello all! This is my second attempt at writing an H/D fanfic (the first one kinda fell off). But in any event I am ready get this show on the road. And hopefully finish this time. Enjoy!

Summary: Harry thought living a lie would be easy, but without love what is a marriage? He thinks all hope is lost until he reunites with a certain blond-haired Slytherin. Will love spawn from this new union or is Harry destined to be alone forever? Eventual H/D.

Disclaimer: I in no way own Harry Potter, although I wish I did. I give all the credit to the genius of J.K. Rowling.

Marriage is hard and not in the typically dysfunctional way we are accustomed to. We see the families that appear to have it all put together so nicely, but that's only an outsiders perspective. Things come undone behind closed doors. The stitches that were once holding everything together dissolve like sugar crystals in boiling water and even though you should be terrified that your life is falling to pieces, you are so acquainted with the misery that all you feel is numbness. And no matter how many times you convince yourself that you deserve to be happy, you remember the image you are trying to uphold for your children, your family, your friends, and all those other people that you could care less about but still seem to hang onto your every word. This is the never ending battle of reality versus fantasy, and realism always wins out. So, you continue to ask yourself the same question: "Is this really worth it?" and every time, you come up with the same answer: "I have no choice".

After another grueling day at the Ministry office, Harry Potter unlocked the door to his immaculate home only to be assaulted by a very small, but surprisingly strong, pair of arms around his kneecaps. Lily Potter's large green eyes were staring up into her father's startled orbs of the same color, an enormous smile plastered on her cherubic face.

"Daddy you're home!" she squealed, emphasizing her excitement by squeezing her father's knees even harder.

Harry couldn't help but smile despite the slight pain of his kneecaps pressing together. Lily had the power to turn his most stressful days into brighter ones.

"Yes, sweetie, Daddy is home and he is so very happy to see you." Harry replied, releasing Lily's arms from his sore knees and placing her on his hip. Even at 9 years old, Harry couldn't stop himself from coddling her. She was growing up fast and he had to spend every moment he had showering her with love before she grew too old to acknowledge him. That meant Lily got whatever she wanted. With just a simple bat of her long lashes, she had Harry eating out of the palm of her hand.

"How was your day today, Daddy?" Lily asked as Harry carried her from the foyer into the kitchen.

"My day was great!" Harry lied. "Daddy was busy today with a lot of paperwork but you have just made everything so much better." Truthfully, Lily's presence really did brighten Harry's day, but any day as Chief of the Auror Department was a day in hell. Piles and piles of cases that needed to be signed, sorted, and filed away were still lying in his office. He had barely gotten through a third of them before Ron came by to drop off another batch. Even his apologetic expression did nothing to make Harry want to throttle him any less.

"I'm glad I could make you feel better." Lily said beaming. "Mommy and I went shopping today in Diagon Alley. You want to see what I bought?" she asked excitedly.

"Ah. So your mother was out spending my hard earned money again, was she?" Harry said, slightly failing to hide his disdain.

"So this is how you speak of me when I'm not around, is it?" Ginny Potter-Weasley replied, arms folded and eyebrow raised at her husband as she sauntered into the kitchen. She had become remarkably stunning as she grew older. Her hair was still the same fiery Weasley red it had been back at Hogwarts, but now cut into a sleek and modern shoulder length bob with a feathered bang. She wore an emerald green sundress with a pair of yellow stilettos and yellow diamond earrings that resembled sunflowers. In any event, Ginny was gorgeous.

"No sweetheart. I also speak this way when you are around." Harry replied with a cheeky grin. He hated to go back-and-forth with Ginny this way in front of Lily, but it was damned hard to cope with her attitude sometimes.

"Charming." Ginny stated sarcastically. "Lily darling, why don't you go get your new things from your bedroom so you can show Daddy." Ginny said, pasting on a beaming smile to ease the tense atmosphere.

"OK Mommy." Lily said, oblivious to the tension between her parents.

As soon as Lily was out of earshot, Harry and Ginny turned to face each other, eyes glaring. They hadn't always been this way. Once upon a time, they were actually in love. The "newlywed phase" is what they call it nowadays. Then, it was obvious that they were made for one another. You couldn't see one without seeing the other and the gleam in their eyes when they caught sight of each other across a room was intense enough to make your breath hitch. Harry and Ginny loved each other more than anything else in the world, but after the first few months of marriage things began to change. Harry got promoted and was spending less and less time at home with Gin. Ginny became lonelier and lonelier the less Harry was around. Saving the lives of strangers became more important than sustaining a relationship with his wife and she strayed. She met some nice French bloke that was vacationing in Britain, one thing led to another, and let's just say they frequented a few hotel rooms. It wasn't until Harry just so happened to be meeting with a client at the Black Swan Hotel that he noticed his wife across the lobby. Obviously confused about why Gin was following him, he was shocked to discover that it wasn't him she was there to see, but François. It took all he had not to storm over in a jealous rage and hex them both into next century, but he kept his composure, finished his meeting, went back home, and drank himself into oblivion. That night, when Gin came home, Harry was waiting for her. To say the least Ginny was more than surprised to find her husband home and drunk.

FLASHBACK

"Harry, honey. I didn't see you sitting there." Ginny uttered, slightly flustered from shock. She walked into the living room where Harry was sitting on the sofa nursing a rather large glass of Brandy.

"I bet you didn't see me sitting in a lot of places today, sweetie." Harry replied, his speech slightly slurred and heavily sarcastic.

"What are you talking about?" Gin asked, growing more and more nervous by the second. There was no way that Harry could know what she had been at the hotel tonight, right?

"I saw you, Gin." Harry said, emptying his glass and placing it on the coffee table. He attempted to stand, stumbled a little, but managed to remain upright. He slowly began to walk towards Ginny. With every step he took forward, she took one backward until her back was pressed against the living room wall and Harry was standing close enough that she could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"I saw you tonight at the hotel with a man; a man who wasn't me!" He yelled, slamming his hand into the wall inches from Ginny's head. She jumped, startled and afraid. She started to panic. What was she going to do? He knew. He knew that she had been unfaithful and there was nothing she could do about it. Ginny looked up into Harry's unfocused eyes as tears ran down her face.

"I am so sorry." She said, the tears suffocating her speech. "You weren't around and I was out doing some shopping and I ran into François about a month ago and he was charming and sweet. At first, he was just a friend. Someone to talk to while you were at the Ministry for hours on end. But things quickly became physical and I was feeling so lonely and unwanted that I gave in. I felt horrible about it. I mean, how could I do that to the one person that I love more than anything?"

"Yeah, well I'm asking myself the same damned question. How could you do this to me, Gin? I trusted you and you threw it all away for a quick fuck with a guy that probably won't even remember your name when he goes back to wherever the hell he came from. Don't you see, Ginny? He was using you!" Harry fumed, pacing the room. If he wasn't careful, his magic would go bonkers and ruin the entire room, maybe even the whole house. He needed to calm down, but what was a man to do when he found out his wife had been sleeping with someone else for more than a month? Surely, he wasn't expected to take this lightly. In an act of desperation, he screamed a deep, guttural cry of anguish and punched a hole through the wall. Thankfully, this time it was far away from Ginny's head.

"Harry, baby, you need to calm down." Ginny pleaded. She had never seen Harry this angry before and frankly, it was scaring the crap out of her. In hindsight, Ginny would've thought this unwise, but in that moment she decided that what Harry needed most was comfort.

Bad idea.

As Ginny walked towards Harry, speaking softly and soothingly, saying "Everything is going to be fine" and "We will get through this", Harry grew angrier and angrier. By the time Ginny had reached him, he had become so angry that when she touched his shoulder, he swung back viciously and landed a hand to her face that sent her flying onto the sofa. Both of them stood there in shock. Ginny holding her rapidly bruising cheek and Harry glaring at her without an ounce of remorse in his eyes. She didn't know whether it was the Brandy, his anger, or a combination of both, but from that day forward Harry would never be the same.

"Don't you dare touch me, you whore." Harry bit out, stinging Ginny to the core. "No, everything is not going to be fine. You cheated on me, Gin. In case you haven't noticed, that is not something that you do when you are married! I can't believe I walked around for a month and didn't know that you were sleeping around. Well, you know what? I have had it with your lies and infidelities. It is obvious that this marriage isn't working. I want a divorce." Harry stated.

At that moment, all the air rushed out of Ginny's lungs. Her life was plummeting into a dark, painful abyss and she was powerless to stop it. Harry wanted a divorce. All those years of dating and she finally gets the man of her dreams and she screws it up, no pun intended.

"Harry, you aren't thinking straight. Please, don't do this." She pleaded, standing from the sofa and tentatively walking toward him. "I know I fucked up, Harry, but we have to at least try and work things out. We can't throw a 5 year relationship down the drain just because I made one mistake. Yes, it was probably the worst thing I could've done to you, but I promise it will never happen again." She cried, tears freely falling from her eyes. Harry just stood there, taking it all in. Could he get past this? Ginny broke his trust and he couldn't fathom being able to trust her ever again, but shouldn't he at least consider it? They had been together for 5 years and that was a lot of history to just chalk up and throw away.

With a sigh, Harry looked into Ginny's hopeful eyes. "Look, Gin, I don't think I will ever be able to forgive you for this. You've made your bed and now you have to lie in it." And with that, he turned and walked away from Ginny, and his marriage. In a lasting effort to convince Harry that he was making a huge mistake, Ginny grabbed his hand. Harry pulled it away faster than a Seeker snatching the snitch . It burned to have her touch him after she had done Merlin knows what with that French bloke. Menacingly, Harry turned around to glare at Gin.

"I told you to keep your filthy hands off of me!" He yelled, raising his hand as if to strike her again.

"STOP! Don't hit me, please." Ginny pleaded. "You might hurt the baby."

Time froze. A chill went down Harry's spine as he contemplated the words that had just lefts Ginny's lips. Baby? If things weren't bad enough, now he had to live with the fact that his wife was pregnant by another man! Harry collapsed, completely dazed. Luckily there was a chair nearby and before he could crash to the floor, Ginny rushed to guide him into a seat. This time he didn't pull away.

"Harry I was going to tell you, but I just didn't know how." Gin explained, searching for the words that would snap Harry back into reality. After a long, grueling pause, Harry finally spoke.

"How long, Gin? How long have you known?" he asked, softly.

"Three weeks." She answered. "I was going to tell you, Harry, I swear."

"Is it his?" He asked. He was staring off into space, not even able to acknowledge Ginny's presence at the moment. He was afraid of what he might do if he allowed himself to look at her. Ginny stood there, wringing her hands, grasping for the right words.

"IS IT HIS?" Harry yelled, finally snapping out of his stupor to look at Gin. She was terrified.

"I don't know." She stammered finally. "I don't know Harry. It all happened so fast. When I started having symptoms, I immediately set up an appointment with a Healer. She confirmed that I was pregnant and I panicked. I didn't tell you or François for obvious reasons. It would've only complicated things."

"Oh and things aren't complicated now? My wife could be carrying another guy's baby! How the fuck did you think that would make me feel on top of everything else?" Harry yelled, standing from his seat, towering over Gin. She gasped and backed away clutching her abdomen.

"I knew you would react this way. I was planning on getting a paternity test without either of you knowing. If the baby turned out to be François's then I was going to abort it, but if it was yours I was going to tell you the good news." Ginny explained.

"Good news huh? And you were going to leave out the little detail about you cheating on me?" Harry asked, still fuming.

"I was going to tell you eventually, I swear. I was just waiting for the right time."

"And when would that have been, Gin? After the baby was born? After it left for Hogwarts? After it graduated? Honestly, I don't think you would've ever told me if you could've helped it." Harry replied, pacing again.

And with that Harry stormed from the room, leaving a distraught Ginny in his wake.

END FLASHBACK

After that night, things were never the same between Harry and Ginny. He resented her for what she did and she was utterly miserable at the thought of it. They grew apart more rapidly than they had anticipated. The only thing that held them together was the baby. Shockingly, and much to the relief of Gin, the baby turned out to be Harry's. His first son, James Broderick Potter, was born March 3 at a whopping 8 pounds, 2 ounces. He had the jet black unruly mane of his father but the gentle, warm brown eyes of his mother. The moment that Harry laid eyes on him, he knew that he had to keep his family together. It didn't matter that he and Gin had fallen out of love; this child deserved a stable family and home. And Harry would be damned if he gave him anything less.

"I don't want to spend any more time with you than you want to spend with me." Harry said, opening the fridge in search of a snack. He had skipped lunch that day in light of the loads of paperwork that covered his desk.

"At least we both agree on something." Ginny replied with a sarcastic smile. Harry just gave her a bored look and took a large bite from his apple.

"Where are my boys?" Harry asked, realizing for the first time that he hadn't seen James or Albus since he'd come home.

"They're out playing quidditch in the back yard." She answered. It wasn't long before a beaming James and a troubled Albus came rushing through the backdoor.

"I beat you fair and square, Al. Stop being a crybaby." James said, shoving his younger brother as he went to raid the fridge for something quenching to drink.

"I am not a crybaby!" Albus yelled. "You cheated and you know it, James."

"Speak of the little devils." Harry said, relieved that he now had better company to keep.

"I'm not a devil either, Dad." Albus replied, huffily sitting at the counter near his mother.

"And I'm not little. I'm nearly in my 3rd year at Hogwarts." James retorted, puffing his chest out with pride.

"That you are Mister Big Shot." Harry said, playfully wrapping an arm around his oldest son's neck and mussing his hair. James put up a good fight and finally removed his head from his father's death grip, unscathed and still smiling.

"What about me, Dad? I'm going to Hogwarts too in the fall." Albus declared, not wanting to be left out.

"You sure are. And that means you're growing up pretty fast Al. Before you know it you're going to be making kissy faces at girls." Harry said teasingly.

"Oi Dad. That's just gross." Albus replied, face scrunched in disgust at the thought of kissing a girl.

"I agree. And besides, the only girl you're allowed to kiss is me." Ginny stated, grabbing Al's face and proceeding to plant a massive kiss on his cheek. This time it was Albus' turn to fend off a parent. They could be downright embarrassing sometimes.

"Why don't you boys get cleaned up for dinner. I can smell you from here." Harry said, holding his nose and feigning revulsion. With that, both boys left the kitchen laughing at their father's antics. Not long after they left, Lily returned with an armful of shopping bags.

"And what is all this?" Harry asked, taking the bags from his daughter's small arms. It looked as if lugging them from her bedroom to the kitchen had really taken a toll on her.

"It's everything I bought today. I didn't think it would be so heavy until I had to haul it all from my bedroom." Lily responded, more than a little winded from her trek. Harry couldn't help but smile lovingly at his daughter.

These were the moments that he savored the most and it made putting up with Ginny worth it. He didn't know what he would do without his children; James's stubbornness and loyalty, Albus's shyness and whit, Lily's beauty and spunk. All very different and yet all equally lovable in Harry's eyes. Things would be even more perfect if his marriage wasn't fraudulent. Putting on this constant charade of perfection was taking a toll on him. He wanted to be genuinely happy to see his wife when he came home, not dreading her existence. Harry had always been a hopeless romantic. Growing up without parents and having to deal with the horrors of the Dursley household had pushed him to do anything he could to avoid that kind of life. He had always dreamed of having a loving family, tons of friends, and the perfect job. Two out of three wasn't bad, but was it enough? The honest answer was "NO". He had never dreamed that he would be married to a woman he didn't love. Though he loved her once, he no longer loved Ginny. Yes, she was beautiful, intelligent, funny, and the mother of his children, but he simply wasn't attracted to her anymore. At first he was content with just going through the motions, but now he got the feeling that he was missing out on something. He was nearly 40 years old (35 to be exact) and he didn't want the rest of his life to be a lie. He had held on to his marriage for quite some time, but now it was time to move on. Harry wanted a divorce. And he was serious this time.