A/N: This story takes place after the events of the third Professor Muggle novel. If you haven't read Professor Muggle, Professor Muggle: Year 2 and Professor Muggle and the Lost Witch you will be rather lost. Events in this story take place a few years after Lost Witch. A large 'thank you' goes out to Headless Huntsman and all the denizens of The Teachers' Lounge.

It All Started With A Book

"Harry, are you sure about this? I mean, it's not like I'm a journalist. And now you're Virginia's godfather, so there's definitely no way I'm objective." I looked over at Harry and watched him nod. "Really?"

"Really, Hank." He adjusted his glasses and his eyes changed, becoming very focused. "I want to get out ahead of this.'

"I'm pretty sure that ship's sailed." I picked up a copy of the first volume of The Potter Adventure Series. "Or according to this, it rode away on the back of a dragon with you and your harem."

I felt bad because it was all, well, partially my fault. When I had been in New Orleans a few years ago I'd brought back a copy of what was known as The Potter Adventure series; a group of books that were fictionalized accounts of what happened to my friend Harry Potter. Highly fictionalized accounts. Batshit crazy fictionalized accounts. Somehow those stories hadn't made it over to the UK but now, somehow, the British underground book trade was full of them. Who knew there was an underground book trade?

"Let's just finish this up, Hank. I can't take too long."

I nodded. "Yes sir, Head Auror, sir."

Unfortunately Harry never got a chance to respond as an Auror interrupted, whispered something in his ear, and that was that. So much for getting out ahead of the Potter Adventure Series in the UK.

Harry dismissed the Auror and sighed. "Hank, I've got to do something now but what about tomorrow? Feel like a trip over to the UMS? We could do the interview and then you'd have time to see your family. Ministry will take care of the portkey, of course." He smiled and took on a mock-serious expression. "You are still the Muggle Consultant for the Auror Department. That's it. Use that if you get any..."

"Harry, with two kids at home of course I'll get flak. At least Nonky's there. Ok, ok, I get it. I'll clear it with Mel. Just owl me the details later." After Harry left I took a look at my watch. Half ten. Melody and the kids were over at Forthingsgate, my mother-in-law's place for the day, and I wasn't expected anywhere until supper. It would probably get me into some trouble but I needed some new music, and I knew exactly who my partner in crime would be.

Leaving the Ministry and walking to the little parking lot close by I pulled out my mobile phone, powered it on, and called Mike Greene. Besides being my old Muggle college roommate and being married to Cho, the Charms professor at Hogwarts, Mike had an added plus; he was a working actor in the Muggle world so he had to have not only a working phone but a mobile phone available at all times. Of course he answered immediately.

"Hey Mike, Hank here. Up for some music shopping? There's a place that sells vinyl we haven't checked out yet." A buzz went through my phone and I looked down, since it could only be a few people. Not many had my number. "Shit, sorry, Mike, it's Mel. I'll call you back." I switched over to her call. "Hi honey, everything ok at home?"

I listened for a while and realized that my little record shopping expedition with Mike was postponed. I'd forgotten about watching the kids while she and her mother went looking for a dress for some reception that night. A reception that I'd promised her that I would attend, as it was being held at Forthingsgate, and it was a press thing. Not what I wanted to do, but at least those things are pretty painless. That's what I thought, anyway.

-ooo-

"The dress looks fine, Mel. You butt looks great, actually." I ducked to avoid the swat. "Seriously, love, you look fine."

"Behave, Henry."

I watched my wife smooth down her hair and take a drink of the non-alcoholic punch. So far it had been the typical Forthingsgate reception; all of my mother-in-law's society and philanthropic friends, some of the people who were the ones who did whatever-cause-it-was this time, various other minor celebrities and the such commingled with the media there to cover the event. It was a time of polite chit-chat, boring music, decent food and the promise of an early evening after all the official photographs had been taken.

"Um, Mel, what's this for, anyway?"

Melody rolled her eyes. "And I thought you actually paid attention the other day." She sighed. "This is the reception for the new research center for St. Mungo's. Mum and several others contributed to the new wing."

"Mungo's, new research center, got it. Um, so what are they researching?"

"Merlin, Hank! Do you have new invisible headphones from George or something? Is that why you didn't hear a word of what I told you the other night?"

"No, I don't have invisible headphones but that's a damned good idea. Of course my students would probably use them in class, but that's beside the point. Yes, I was listening but I didn't remember. Ok?" I pulled a glass of chameleon champagne off of a tray that floated by. "So besides your mum's friends is anybody else going to be here?"

"Hermione and Ron, for sure. Hermione has been involved with the paperwork, well, her and Percy. And no, thank Helga, George will not be here. I don't need you two mucking things up tonight. Remember, Hank, this is about St. Mungo's. Act accordingly."

"Yes, dear. Of course, dear. Wouldn't dream of it, dear."

Melody shook her head and held up two fingers. It was her reminder that she was taking care of two small children.

Hermione and Ron hadn't shown and it became obvious after visiting with a few people that not only had they not read any of my books they didn't really know who I was. In a way that was kind of insulting, but in reality I had fun with it, introducing myself as a different person with each drink. Firewhiskey? I was Michael Corleone. Glass of water to pace myself? Inigo Montoya. Flaming Dragon? Francis Sinatra, but you can call me Frank. So much for being a minor celebrity in the Wizarding world.

To be honest I was a little buzzed when Hermione and Ron showed up. Hermione said hello and then went to find Melody, so at last I finally had someone else at the reception who wanted to be there even less than me. It was obvious that he was only attending for Hermione's sake; even though he had on the formal dress robes and looked all spiffed up and clean I could tell that Auror Weasley would rather be down at his local or talking Quidditch. He downed a glass of chameleon champagne, put the empty down on the floating tray and took another glass.

"So, Ron, highlight of your social calendar for the month?"

"Laugh it up, Boyd. Harry already told me you're going with him to the UMS. I know there'll be a lot of paperwork. Your favorite."

I shrugged. "I'll have Edith help me. Yeah, she's your assistant now, but..."

"Whatever." He leaned back against the wall and surveyed the crowd, milling about amongst the elegantly decorated tables. "At least this is for a good cause." He looked over quickly to me and then returned his gaze out to the crowd. "Neville say anything about this to you?"

"What, the reception? No...why?"

He sighed. "Sorry, thought he would have, close as you two are...he's involved in this because of his parents. Not publicly, but he's involved. Ran into him down at the Leaky a while back and he...you won't say anything, right?"

I nodded. I knew of Neville's deepest desire, to have his parents returned to a normal life. I knew how many times we'd talked about it, how much of his own money he'd sunk into a possible cure, of all the time he'd spent reading and researching, all of it fruitless. I hadn't known of his involvement with the new thing at St. Mungo's, but I knew that once we started Hogwarts for the term he'd eventually tell me about it, probably over a drink in my room. Instead of saying that to Ron I just nodded.

"Sure. No problem, Ron." Out of the corner of my eye I saw a couple heading over to us, directly to us as it was obvious there was no other reason to come in that direction. There were no drinks, no tables, it was just me and Ron standing against the wall. "Uh, Ron? You know these two?"

"Nope."

Before I could say anything else the couple was there next to us, him extending his hand. "Professor Boyd? I'd like to thank you."

I shook his hand. "You're welcome. What'd I do?"

As the man looked over to what I assumed was his wife I took the two of them in; he was tall, at least six foot one or so, ridiculously good hair, trim and probably one of the 'beautiful people' of the wealthy wizarding charitable set. She reminded me of a trophy wife from the looks of her but for some reason there was a lot more intelligence, mostly in her eyes. Tall, honey-blonde hair that fell down around her shoulders with the air of someone who used to be a model. I really wanted to dislike them but remembered to keep an open mind.

The man looked over to his wife. "Faith, this is Professor Boyd, Hope's Muggle Studies professor."

With that sentence everything clicked. I only had one student named Hope in Muggle Studies, Hope Humphries, daughter of Brian and Faith Humphries. That in and of itself was not interesting, that I met the parents of one of my students, but Hope Humphries' father was not just any old person; he was my wife's ex-husband. The man who married my Melody when they were very young and very drunk and had a very short marriage.

I shook Faith Humphries' hand and smiled. "Very nice to meet you."

"As my husband said, thank you, Professor." She smiled and took her husband's arm. "Hope was going through a little phase..."

"She was spoiled and coddled, Professor." Brian gave his wife a pointed look. "You know that's the truth, dear." He turned back to me. "I know she hated losing house points for Ravenclaw, but I believe your detentions did her a world of good. She's actually reading for enjoyment now, not only to get ahead in her studies."

Before I could respond I saw Hermione and Melody walking towards us, oblivious to who we were talking to, as the Humphries had their backs to them. Of course the minute that Melody came up to me, handed me a drink and turned to them I felt her stiffen up momentarily."

"Melody."

"Brian."

An awkward silence descended and then I felt Ron's elbow in my side. "Well, I'm glad it helped. I don't like giving detentions and taking away house points, but I think Hope's finally realized that in order to become Minister for Magic it helps to know a bit about the Muggle world these days."

A slight chuckle came from Ron who held out his hand. "Merlin, don't get him started. I'm Ron..."

"Of course we know you, Mr. Weasley." Faith Humphries shook his hand. "As well as you, Mrs. Weasley." She turned to Melody. "And Mrs. Boyd, I do enjoy the direction you've taken Witch Weekly. Very engaging." With a smile she turned to her husband. "I believe we've taken enough of their time, dear."

After the Humphries had left Ron looked over to Melody. "You know, he does seem like a nice bloke. Lot more hair than the one you've got now."

"Honestly, Ron." Hermione rolled her eyes. "Melody, I take it that was..."

"My ex-husband." Melody took my arm and looked up at me. "And you know I don't care how much hair you have, Hank. It was just odd seeing you two standing there. Very, very odd."

I kissed her on the top of her head. "Oh come on, you know it was bound to happen eventually. The wizarding world is pretty small when you get down to it. Plus I'm at Hogwarts...unless they sent their daughter to one of the other few magical schools...see what I mean? Besides, it's no big deal. Actually, they were thanking me for giving her some detentions, so that beats the usual 'my child did nothing wrong' argument I usually get from parents."

Ron leaned over. "What'd she do?"

I shook my head. "Parent-student privilege."

He leaned closer and whispered. "George told me what..."

Quickly, and louder than I planned, I blurted out "She didn't do her homework because she said Muggle Studies was useless if she was going to work in the Ministry someday and be the Minister."

Hermione struggled to cover her chuckle by covering her mouth with her hand. I looked down and my wife simply smiled at me.

"I had lunch with Angelina the other day, remember? I know all about you and George and your little trip..."

Before she could finish my mother-in-law's house elf tugged on Melody's elbow and pointed across the room. There, standing next to the Head Healer of St. Mungo's, was my mother-in-law, and to be honest Lane Bramble looked a little bit miffed. She looked at us and tapped her watch.

"Uh, Mel, I think we're in trouble. Your mom is doing the watch tapping thing again."

"Great." Melody smoothed her hair and straightened her glasses. "Well if I have to be in this picture so do you, Hermione. Come on." She grabbed Hermione's arm and the two women through the tables towards the people standing around for the photo op.

Ron glanced at me. "Drink?"

"Hell yes."

"About time." Ron grabbed an entire tray of drinks as it floated by. "I'm not used to you with proper language. It's just wrong."

I grabbed a flute of chameleon champagne and shot it in one go. "Fuck you, Weasley."

He laughed and slapped me on the back. "Much, much better."

When we made it to the area where all the picture participants were milling about Lane took out her wand and held it to her throat. With a quick Sonorous her voice filled the room. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you could all have a seat...thank you. Before we take the picture I'd like to have Head Healer Paxaro say a few words."

The short, round form of the Paxaro, a man with even less hair than me, made his way towards Lane and replicated her Sonorous. With a semi-squeeky voice he surveyed the crowd. "Thank you, Lane. I would like this time to thank the donors; without such generous and charitable souls we would not be able to undertake such a worthy endeavor. I would like to thank Lane Bramble for her tireless efforts and her gracious offer of hosting tonight's event. Thank you, Lane." He smiled at Lane who nodded at him. "And I would like to thank the members of the Witches' Guild for their fundraising efforts. Ladies, thank you. I would also like to thank DAS Enterprises for their contribution of not only Galleons but of cutting-edge magical equipment, some of which is highly experimental."

I smirked when I heard that, which made Melody give me a look. I mouthed 'later' to her but she didn't agree as she pulled on my sleeve. I leaned down and whispered in her ear. "It's Draco's organization, its the Malfoy family initials. Draco, Astoria, Scorpius."

She raised and eyebrow and seemed surprised. I turned back to the Paxaro.

"...and last but not least the generous endowment from Enid and Reginald Worpinsnapper, who sadly could not be with us tonight but instead have sent their representative to not only attend this grand function but to also take the pictures, Ms. Rowan Wright from New York."

I heard Hermione make an exited sound next to me as the assembled crowd clapped appreciatively. "Is she a big deal?"

"Yes, Hank, she is; she's the most celebrated fashion photographer in the UMS. Her wizarding photos are in all the best magazines and some of them are in galleries."

"I'd love to have her do a shoot for Witch Weekly." Melody leaned across me to talk to Hermione. "Can you imagine what that would do for our circulation? Especially the fashion issue?"

"Get your mom to introduce you, Mel. She's the big wheel here tonight." Before Melody could respond the crowd burst into a large round of applause and I saw Lane and Paxano holding a large, fake bag of Galleons with an absurdly large number written on it. The flash went off and the crowd started milling about again, but with Lane, Paxano and the Witches' Guild standing up in front for photos. "I think that's our cue, Ron."

Ron tugged at his tie, loosened it and unbuttoned the top button on his dress robes. "Oh yeah. Hate these bloody things."

"Oh no, Hank. You're coming with me to talk to mum. You should ask her for the introduction. You know you can talk her into almost anything."

I glanced over to Ron. "Shut up, Weasley." I surveyed the crowd around the photographer, who could only be seen from behind and then just a portion of her head. "She's surrounded, Mel. Give it a bit and let the crowd thin out."

"Oh no, she'll have left by then. I'm not going to miss my chance at an introduction. Besides, maybe she's read one of your books...maybe she's a fan of yours. You never know. "

"That's buttering me up and it totally worked." I sighed. "Ok, come on, but if you don't get to actually meet her it's not my fault."

We made our way slowly through the crowd, stopping and talking with people every now and then, mostly people that Mel knew from some press events or something like that, and eventually we made it up to the spot where the 'famous photographer' was taking pictures of Lane and Paxano with a certificate from the couple that couldn't be there, and that's when it hit me. I knew exactly who Reginald and Enid were...George and Angelina Weasley. Reginald was one of George's aliases when he wanted to go out and not be 'the World Famous Weasley' as he liked to say. At least this time the alias went for a good cause; the last time I'd seen him use it was when he tried to stick me with a rather large bar tab from a Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes trip I accompanied him on in Canada. It was while I was thinking about that when I felt Melody tug me in the other direction.

"Hank, I'd like you to meet Ms. Rowan Wright."

I turned to say hello and it was like going back in time. Still the same green eyes, blonde hair and the mole on her cheek. Holy shit.

"Hank, what's wrong?" Melody looked at me oddly and then she looked over at the photographer. "Ms. Wright?"

She let the camera go slack and held it in one hand at her side. "Hank...you lost a lot of hair. Merlin, what are you doing here? How did you get here?"

"Hank?" Melody looked up at me. "What's going on?"

I swallowed hard. There was no way this was actually happening. "Mel, her name wasn't Rowan Wright when I knew her. It was Christine. Christine Rowan." I looked at Christine and some things finally started clicking into place. "You're a witch, right?"

"Yes." She nodded, looked over to Melody and then back to me. "Your wife?"

"Somebody had better start explaining something, fast." Melody put her hand on her hip. "Henry Aaron..."

"MacDonald Boyd." Rowan shook her head. "I never put two and two together. Hogwarts, right?"

I nodded. I wanted to say something but I couldn't.

Rowan looked over to Melody. "I dated him for a while in college. Well, he was in college."

"Bloody brilliant." Ron started laughing until Hermione elbowed him.

"Ron!" Hermione hissed. "I can't believe you...yes I can." She stepped up, took his arm and smiled at us all. "It's been a lovely evening but we need to retrieve our children. I'll set up a time so we can get all of the kids together soon, Melody. Good night."

As Hermione hustled Ron away I stood there between my wife and my ex-girlfriend, but it was different than earlier when I'd been with the Humphries and Melody. Christine Rowan was what Mike Greene called my 'voodoo woman' ex-girlfriend, the one that got away, all those sorts of things. Now here she was, in front of me, after all those years. Surreal didn't even begin to describe it.

"Listen..." Christine brushed her hair back from her face. "I've got to go, I've got a private shoot early in the morning, but I'm here for another day or so. I think I owe you an explanation." She saw the look of surprise on Melody's face. "Probably both of you an explanation. And Melody, your mother said something about Witch Weekly. If it is ok with you I'll send you an owl." Suddenly she stepped forward and kissed me on the cheek. "It is good to see you again, Hank. Nice meeting you, Melody. I'll look forward to your owl."

As she left I knew there would be a rather long conversation that night with my wife. I also knew that I had to tell Mike Greene what had happened. I leaned down and kissed Melody on the lips softly. "Listen, I know...shit, I have no idea. Let's go home. I'm sure Lavinia will give us a report on the kids. I'll fill you in."

For a second I thought she was going to be angry at me but her eyes softened and I saw that mischievous glint in her eye. "Oh, you will most certainly fill me in about..." she waved her hand in the direction that Christine had left "...that."

"Absolutely."

As we walked out of the main room to one of the designated Apparition points I knew that it would be a long, long night of retelling things that I had forgotten about for a long time. On purpose.