Author's Note: This one-shot goes along with the 2003 film "Peter Pan." Peter's thoughts during specific scenes of the movie. Enjoy!
He's watching her sew his pesky shadow to his bare feet, and he feels a scream born from pain trapped deep inside his throat that is aching to be let out, but he keeps it locked away. He's embarrassed for a moment thinking of how he had been caught crying before her at the foot of her bed because his shadow wouldn't stick. He studies the way she sews with such ease, and he feels his heart thumping against his chest in a way he has never felt for as long as he's lived, and he's lived for a very, very long time. He feels it again when Wendy moves closer and closer, so close he can feel her breath on his lips. She says she wants to give him a thimble, but she never succeeds in doing so. He doesn't think anything of the feeling after that, for what bothers an adult would never bother a child.
He's thrilled that she agreed to come along with him to Neverland. Sure, she insisted her brothers tag along, but Peter Pan didn't mind all too much. He watches her as she jumps along the clouds above his home. Her grin spreads to her eyes, where he can see a twinkle that sends a warm feeling throughout his body. He's eager to teach her all the things of his home, to show her every nook and cranny of the vast land he and the Lost Boys inhabit. He does. She loves it, just as he hopes she would.
He introduces her eventually to the Lost Boys, and they love her. He knew they would. The boys insist she become their mother figure. They celebrate with shouts, hollers, and whoops of glee when she agrees. Peter also shouts with joy, but stops suddenly.
He thinks to himself, She'll leave like they all do.
For some odd reason, Peter finds himself wanting desperately for her to stay forever in the land that never ages. Peter Pan wouldn't let Wendy Darling leave. He couldn't. She'd just arrived.
He's soon distracted when the Lost Boys holler at him, telling him that Wendy is going to tell a story. He skips in joy, and goes to join the group. She begins her story, and he watches her, never taking his eyes off of her for the smallest moment. He doesn't think he's ever seen anything as beautiful. He wonders about this for a fleeting moment, but not too long. No, never long enough for it to be a worry in the mind of Peter Pan.
They drift down from the sky until their bare feet touch the cool grass below them. She's not smiling anymore, and he wonders what he has done. The fairies encircling them have dispersed. Wendy begins talking of things that bother Peter, things that he can't understand.
"What do you feel, Peter?" she asks him. She's questioning him, and he can't do anything but stare wide eyed at her in fright. She's crying now, and he feels a storm begin to erupt from within him. He can't understand what she's trying to say to him. She's talking about feelings and growing up and anger, jealousy, and love.
"I will not grow up. You cannot make me! You'll be banished just like Tinkerbell."
"I will not be banished," Wendy exclaims.
"Then go home! Go home and grow up, Wendy."
He watches her eyes water, and he wishes he could take back his words, but it's far too late. He's hurt her, and he doesn't think he can bear staring at her for a minute longer. He feels something stir within him as Wendy Darling yells at him, and it hurts. His heart aches. So, he does the only thing a child can do in such a situation. He runs, or rather, he flies away.
"We're going home," she says, turning away from Peter.
He gapes in shock at her words. He stares off, not caring much for anything going on around him. Her words tear a rip through his heart, and he begins to wonder why Wendy Darling is such an important matter to him. She'll leave just like the others, he had told himself. The time has only arrived. That's all. There will be others.
"We must leave," one of Wendy's brothers whispers.
"If you wish it," Peter murmurs.
I don't wish it, Wendy. Don't leave me here. Please. Say you won't go.
"If you wish it?"
Say you won't leave me.
"If you wish it!"
Every bone within his body orders him to release all hope. He hears the distant yells of the Lost Boys, but he can't make out their words. He can hear Captain Hook taunting him, his words like sharp daggers. His wounds are hurting badly, and his temple is viciously pounding. He feels the warm trickle of blood flowing down his forehead. He hears the beautiful sound of bells chiming around him. He feels the sound ease his nerves. The bells become a distinct voice among the chaos around him.
"Wendy," he manages to utter.
The bells chime again, ringing louder. They sound so wonderul.
"Peter!"
He somehow finds the strength to keep his eyes open. He sees her approach him, and everything is once again alright in his vast, endless world.
"Peter!"
"Don't forget me, Peter Pan," she whispers. He holds her hand in his own, holding onto hers a bit too tight. The time has come, he realizes.
Peter feels his excitement slowly begin to trickle away into nothingness, and he begins to find it harder to stay lifted from the ground. The tips of his toes skim her windowsill. He looks behind her, where the Lost Boys are having a delightful time without him. They'll all grow up soon, and Peter Pan will not, for all children, except one, grow up.
"I will never," Peter Pan answers Wendy Darling.
He can see it in her eyes, the fear she has. She believes he'll forget her, he realizes. He doesn't think he could ever.
"I promise. I will never forget you, Wendy Darling. I don't think I could even if I tried."
He thinks of a life for himself in which he stayed in London. He could live with all the other Lost Boys, John, and Michael. He could live with Wendy. She would love that, but would he? He fears growing old, becoming an adult.
To live would be an awfully big adventure, he thinks.
He thinks of the unknown world he'd have to grow accustomed to, and he pushes the entire proposition away, for that is what a child does. They cannot face their fears once directly faced with them. So, Peter Pan says nothing, and he knows that perhaps this is the last time he would ever see Wendy Darling.
"Oh, Peter. You'll have many more adventures. Our time together was only but one."
He looks away from her because he doesn't think he can stand looking at her hopeful, dazzling eyes much longer. He doesn't think he could survive it. Wendy Darling will forever be the one joy Peter Pan is barred from.
"Wendy, can't you stay? Can't you come away with me?"
"I can't, Peter. I wish I could, but we all have to grow up," she tells him.
He shakes his head.
"Not me."
She gives him a weak smile.
He feels himself ready to leave. The churning in his stomach tells him he'll fall into a waterfall of tears if he stays much longer, so he whispers his final good-bye.
"Good-bye, Wendy."
He wills himself to not turn back to look at the nursery window. He flies onward to the paradise that needs him to exist. Doomed forever a child, oblivious to all things, Peter Pan will never truly understand the ache inside of him that continues to grow until he feels ready to collapse into a useless heap.
Even when he realizes he is heartbroken, he won't think too much of it, for Peter Pan has far better things to worry about, such as his next big adventure. So, Peter Pan flew on, straight until morning, looking only once behind him.
"Good-bye, Peter!"
All good stories must come to an end, as did the tale of Peter Pan, Wendy Darling, and Neverland.