March 4th

I have decided to keep a diary of the events as today I am feeling far worse than usual. I awoke this morning with a feeling of lethargy, my legs felt heavy and my neck was sore. I fear I have taken a turn for the worse.

March 5th

I am sat in my hospital bed, surrounded by pure white walls without a single speck of dust to be found. I am wearing hospital pyjamas and my hair is tied into a neat ponytail after having a cleansing shower. At first I was irritated that James wanted to rid himself of me but now I feel grateful. The hospital staff are very polite and helpful and have checked on me numerous times. James told me he would visit everyday and I do not doubt him, even now, as I know he will keep his word.

James came earlier, though I wish he hadn't. He had managed to shave himself clean and change his clothing. He looked tired but he had gone out of his way to come and visit me. Things started off fairly well, I had a more positive attitude and was eagerly chatting with him about the staff and how thankful I was that he had made such a decision. In turn he chatted to me about how good it was that I was feeling better and that he was sure I could receive the treatment I needed. Even through the intense pain, simply talking to James this way diverted my attention to a happier place. During his stay a nurse came in to tell him it was time for my medication and that visiting times were over, as he stood to leave I noticed he was eyeing the nurse from her pretty face to her body and when he attempted to kiss me goodbye I shook him off. The nurse handed me my pills pills and quickly left, seemingly unaware of the drama that had taken place.

"What's worng?" James asked, a sign of irritation in his tone.

"What do you think?" Came my scornful reply. "If you want to ogle women, ogle them in your own time."

"Shall I go?"

When I didn't reply he turned and left, slamming the door. I didn't cry, not then and not now. Instead I reached into the drawer of my bedside table and pulled out a small compact mirror, flipping the lid and examining my facial features closely. My looks had all but been abolished. My skin was swollen and lumpy, flakes of it were hanging where the skin was beginning to die, if I so much as scratched my face the skin would break and bleed. My blemishes and spots have begun to fill with pus, so tender to the touch that they would leak or even pop if I ran my fingers over them. I couldn't bare to stare at that strange woman any longer so I shut the mirror and threw it back into the drawer, pushing it way back into the dark corner of my mind where I needn't think about it.

March 6th

Though the years have been tough on me I have met a young girl who has kept me strong, she says her name is Laura. She's staying at the hospital too, though she has never told me why. Early one morning the nurse came in to check on me. When I told her my face was itching she applied some ointment which, over time, reduced the swelling leaving my features less repulsive. It was around this time that the girl came skipping by, humming a sweet melody. The nurse who was tending to me paused for a second and called her in, asking if she'd taken her medication. We struck up a conversation, or should I say, Laura struck up a conversation and I listened. She talks quite a lot and is very inquisitive. She asked me all kinds of questions and I answered as best I could.

"What's your name?"

I smiled and replied, "Mary."

"Why are you here?"

"I'm sick, can't you tell by my face."

She leaned in close to me and observed my expression, I thought she would say something unintentionally cruel, as children do, I was surprised however, when she began laughing.

"What's wrong with it?" Speechless, I simply stared at her not knowing what to say or think but before I could elaborate she continued. "I think you're nice, most people don't talk to me very much because I annoy them. I'm always being sent away and the nurses shout at me."

"That doesn't seem fair, I'm glad you came to talk to me."

"I like you Mary, I'm going to come and visit you every day." She said before taking a seat beside my bed.

We seem to get along quite well, she's a very sweet young girl but it seems people don't have time for her so she ends up bored and irritated. We were talking for hours, it reminded me of how James and I used to talk, before things got so bad. If I ever get better, I'm going to buy her a soft toy. She tells me she's quite fond of teddy bears and has taken a liking to one in particular, always carrying it with her wherever she goes despite it belonging in the children's play area. I don't know much else about her, she prefers to talk about myself rather than her personal life, she avoids many questions about her family and home life. I wonder why?

Midnight-I can't sleep. It's so quiet out on the wards yet the silence terrifies me. Perhaps it's because I'm lonely. Laura was made to got back to her own ward earlier and James didn't visit today like he promised. It's as though my whole life is crumbling beneath me, as though my entire world is being engulfed by a black hole. Not a day goes by when I don't wonder, Why me? What did I do to deserve such a fate? I must stop writing, my tears are landing on the paper and blurring my words.