What happened the first time I met her, I do not know. I thought she had looked right through me, piercing my heart with a spear that I knew not the name of. The spear of love.
Her ongoing happiness was somewhat contagious, although I allowed myself only to smile at night, thinking about her. Her clumsiness was attaching, although sometimes annoying. Her eyes sparkled every time I glanced in her direction. She was a shining star illuminating the obscure abyss I had fallen into after... Her death...
What happened is still a blur in my mind, I fog I do not wish to see disappear, afraid it might be my fault. Sometimes, when I stare at the vast sky that stands before me, I cannot help but feel this stinging pain in my heart, the wind slowly enveloping me like she did with her arms, murmuring soft lusting words into my ear that would rise up the temperature in the coldest night of winter. I never thought the feelings I had for her would rise again. For another.
'Hey! Paine!' I heard Rikku howling from the door of the Celsius' deck. I didn't turn around, if she wanted something from me, she would come and get it. I waited patiently, staring in nonchalance at the scintillating ocean of stars. The soft tingling of her chains told me she was getting nearer.
'What do you want Rikku?' I asked calmly. I was beginning to feel a little uneasy, I didn't know how to react when I was with her, she was so spontaneous it was unsettling.
'What you doin' up here Painy?' She inquired. It seemed as though she always needed to know everything everyone was doing. I turned around to face her, only to find her barely covered. The agreeable sight that was looking at me waiting for the answer didn't know that her lack of clothes had risen up an emotion in my stomach. I blushed slightly, reprimanding myself for having inappropriate thoughts about her. I was grateful for the night to have cast it's veil across Spira.
'Never call me Painy again. What do you want?' Why did she seek me? As far as I was concerned, our conversations were mostly resumed to monosyllabic responses uttered by me and questions asked by Rikku. I found out people would easily give up talking to me after a receiving such replies. But not Rikku. She even started calling me 'Painy', a pseudonym I feigned to dislike. I didn't want to get attached to her. I didn't want to suffer the pain of losing someone you love again.
'Look at me Paine.' She whispered softly in my ear. Long strands of black hair fell on my chest. Her voice lingering around me like music in silence.
I believe my heart stopped beating. I felt I was suffocating, hearing vows of eternal loving, caresses as soft as a feather exploring timidly my body.
I turned around. She was breath-taking. 'Aelle...' I susurrated.
Rikku's nudging stopped my painful daydreaming, tears had welled up in my eyes. It seemed her soul haunted me and would never let me go. I wanted to move on, start again, forget everything...
Did I really want to forget her? She had stained every single part of me with the cherry taste of her lips.
'Painy?' She murmured insecurely. I looked and drowned in her emerald eyes, forcing myself not to look further down, for fear of not being able to control my actions. I came closer, as far as been able to kiss her lips if I moved my head a little further. She was breathing quickly. A sudden redness filled her cheeks. I slowly caressed her neck. Did I hear soft longing words? I laughed, this was just too awkward.
'You'll regret that Painy!' She yelled. The waving of her arms showed the series of tortures she was going to inflict me, laughable tortures.
'I will live with regret then.' No other words were spoken. They were uncalled for.