Disclaimer - I don't own Life with Derek

Emily was moving away... Describing me as sad was an underestimation. And as selfish as it sounds; when you know that you're going to lose someone that means the world to you, you don't want to be reminded of them ever again. And if you get reminded of them, something snaps inside of you. You'll feel lonely, no matter how many people around you.

Okay, Casey. Breathe. You can do it!

I closed my eyes briefly, while taking a deep breath and then I nodded to myself and stepped inside.

"Hey, mom!" I chirped.

Mom was sitting on the couch, watching some cooking show, I suppose. "Oh.. hey, sweetie!" She said.

"Where is everyone? It seems so... quiet. Too quiet, actually." Or maybe it was just the fact that I already felt empty with Emily leaving, that an empty house, which was usually filled with noise (Marti was mostly the cause) and felt so lively (Derek was mostly the cause), was suddenly feeling like the loneliest place on earth.

"Edwin and Lizzie are at David's, Martie is at the grocery store with George and Derek's out with Sally." Mom explained, her eyes glued on the TV.

I nodded merely to no one.

Beat.

I cannot bare this any longer! I sighed deeply, hoping mom would catch up.

It worked. She looked up at me. "How was school, sweetie?" She asked, then took a closer look at me, realization finally hitting her. She frowned. "Casey, honey, have you been crying?"Her voice was drained with concern and she took my wrist and led me to the couch.

I sat down and figured that crying was okay now. So I didn't hold it in any longer and sobbed and sobbed, cried and cried... sobbed a little more. Yeah, I was a mess.

Mom hugged me and stroked my head. Her eyes were filled with concern and I just made her whole shirt snotty... I felt really bad about it. "Mom... Em -" I was cut off by a sob that escaped my mouth. "... and then I... but she-" Sobbing. "... away... what... I... mom..." I muffled between sobs. It felt like choking.

"Casey, sweetie... It's okay, it's okay. Calm down first, honey. Sssh..." She whispered softly, as she rubbed my back comfortingly.

A few minutes had passed and I could still cry a whole a river but I had a little of my dignity left. Derek would've laughed his butt off, if he'd seen me like this, so I stopped. My eyes felt red and puffy and my face was burning. My cheeks were wet and - too much information? Sorry.

I got out of mom's arms and finally faced her. "I'm sorry, sweetie." Her voice was soft, yet it hurt.

I looked down on my lap, not really knowing what to do with myself. Is it really coming to an end?

Mom put a hand on my shoulder and gave me a sad smile. "Is it very far?" She asked warily. Almost child-like.

I looked up. "She's moving to France, mom!" I chuckled pathetically, throwing my head back. "At least she's still on the same planet, right?" Mom's response was a light smile. I smiled to myself with glassy eyes, a thought suddenly crossing my mind. "I bet Derek doesn't even know where France is."

I had decided to write a letter to Emily - pouring all my thoughts, feelings and fears on a sheet of paper. I also made a photo album and a playlist with songs that held so many memories of the time we shared with Em.

I had given it to her the next day and we said out goodbyes. Yeah, fine! Some tears fell...

Even Derek had hugged Emily in the school, even though normally he doesn't do hugging, especially not in public. That really showed how Derek cared and that meant a whole lot for Derek to do such a thing. "Take care, Emily." He even smiled. Not a I'm-the-best-whadda-ya-gonna-do-about-it, but a genuine smile. So I smiled.

"Oh! And give Klutzilla here a call from time to time. You know how she is," He smirked, and pointed his thumb over his shoulder where I stood. "She's not very good at socializing..."

At least it brought a good laugh out of Emily. My response to that however was, "De-rek!". This made him laugh.

I couldn't sleep very well that night so I got up and made myself a hot chocolate and while I was at it, I took a paperbag out of the drawer, in case I'd cry and hyperventilate again.

Taking a seat in the kitchen, I wrapped my hands around the mug and let it warm me. And I stole a glance on the clock, as I took a sip. My eyes felt so weary, yet I couldn't find any sleep. Ugh, I was a mess!

"3 am..." I mumbled, not believing that I was awake that late on a school day.

I put the mug down, when I heard the entrance door open. Narrowing my eyes, I tried to get a better look but it was pretty dark. I heard a loud noise followed by a muffled 'Ouch!'.

Derek, I thought with an eye-roll.

I didn't really care why he was coming home so late and I just hoped that he didn't see me. Fortunately, he made his way upstairs, without noticing me.

I leaned back in my seat and let out a sigh, taking my hands off the mug. How was I going to survive without my best friend? I felt a tear rolling down my cheek. I feel so lonely...

"Why am I so selfish?" I exclaimed, pacing around.

Paul's eyes just followed me, one hand on his chin. He looked pretty confused... Poor Paul. But I really had no idea how to handle losing my best friend!

"Casey, the human is always selfish in a way." He answered, leaning forward and clapping his hands together. "No matter what we're doing, we always do something that has someting in it for us - even if we do it unconciously." He explained. "We're always thinking of ourselves," He raised his eyebrows. "Even if we wanna help someone."

"Okay," I breathed out. "Yeah, I get it." I sat down, and bit my lip. "Still! I'm having selfish thoughts and it's making me feel terrible!" I exclaimed desperately and poor Paul flinched a little at my random outburst. Sorry, Paul.

"I mean, she's moving to a whole new country! It's probably even harder for her but still," My voice rising on the last part. "Here I am, thinking about how I'm going to cope without her by my side!" I pouted. I was really angry with myself.

"Look, I understand where you're coming from, Casey. But the truth is, it's going to be hard for you both! And it's okay to feel like this - she's probably feeling the same way too." He told me. "It's okay to be selfish and to miss your best friend. Give it time."

Maybe he was right.

I nodded, a small smile - that didn't quite reach my eyes - forming. "Thanks, Paul."

"Hey, that's what I'm here for." He said softly, returning my smile. "Time's up!" He then announced.

I grinned, rolling my eyes. "Way to ruin the moment, Paul!"

He chuckled. I did too.

I was standing on my locker and looking at some pictures I had taken with Emily, when my stupid, obnoxious, immature dumb step-brother walked into me, bumping his shoulder into mine, causing me to drop the pictures. "Der-ek!" I huffed.

Derek just smirked, which made me even angrier. And with Emily leaving, you better don't mess with me! I was ready to scratch his eyes out. Bad. Move. Venturi. I narrowed my eye.

He looked down at what I had dropped. Instead of picking them up for me, of course. Stupid Derek! I kneeled down and picked them up, growling.

"Awe, sorry, Case," He told me in a tone that would make others believe that he was genuine about his 'apology', but I knew better. I rolled my eyes at him. "I forgot that Emily was the only person who was strong enough to pretend like she enjoyed your company.." He shook his head in a dramatic way. "Tsk, tsk, it's sad, really."

I saw red.

A feeling of sadness, bitterness, frustration and maybe even shame combined rushed through me.

"What's wrong, Derek? Did Sally make you cry again? Do you have to remind yourself how 'manly' you are again by trying to make your sister feel bad?" I growled.

"Step-sister." Was all he had to say with a frustrated look, which I know he used to cover up his defeat with, before making his way past me.

I smirked on the inside. Casey 1 - Derek 0

"Hey! That was pretty impressive." I heard someone snicker.

"Huh?"

"Telling your brother, Derek Venturi off like that - Impressive." Another voice said.

I turned around to see a group of three people leaning on some lockers. One girl and two guys.

"Oh," I said dumbly, feeling a blush forming on my cheeks. "Thanks."

"You're Casey McDonald, right?" The girl with red hair and green eyes asked me. Her hair was in a bombshell, she had smokey-eye makeup and a leather jacket on. She was looking pretty... rad. I liked it!

"Uh, yeah." I answered, wondering how they knew me and how come I never noticed them? "How do you know my name? I'm pretty sure I've never seen you guys before."

One of the guys chuckled. He had black hair that was a bit galled up on the front and crystal blue eyes. Handsome boy, I gotta admit. Who am I kidding? He looked gorgeous! "We're not around here very often." He told me.

"We're skippin'." The blonde guy with messy hair and brown eyes shrugged. Man, he looked gorgeous too! "And we know almost everyone here." He added.

They're skipping school? I tried to stay calm and collected on the outside but on the inside I kinda... freaked out.

"Wanna have lunch with me and these two idiots?" The girl offered, pointing at them over her shoulder.

The one with the black hair just winked at me playfully and the blonde one looked rather bored.

Did I mention how gorgeous they look?

I bit my lip. I was really torn... On one hand, I really do need someone to eat lunch with to not look like a complete loser but on the other hand... they seem too rebellious for me.

I looked at them.

They looked at me.

I looked at them.

What the heck!

"I'd love to!" I beamed.

They just looked at each other, raising their eyebrows but grinning.

Did I say something wrong?