Time for her to go – her style.

Fanfic by missjade

Ten.

There was something that she hadn't told him.

Something that she wouldn't even in her wildest dreams thought of saying. It was almost a forbidden thing for her to even think about it. And yet there she was, standing in front of his house and he with his arms crossed, waiting for her to speak.

She opened her mouth but no sounds came out, so she closed them again. If she wasn't feeling so anxious then, she would have thought how stupid she looked, opening and closing her mouth like a fish. Clasping her hands together in front of her, she could feel the cold night air pirouetting around them. She shivered.

"Sakura."

"Eh?"

"It's getting late."

"Ah, yes." Indeed it was late.

Very late.

Nine.

She thought of the past years and the time spent accumulating her feelings for the young shinobi in front of her. Had it all been a waste? They say good things happen to those who wait.

She had waited.

Waited for god knows how many years.

She looked at him straight in the face and yet again, she could not make out what he is thinking. Those dark eyes, when will it ever see the light? When will her image ever be reflected in those dark ebony pupils of his?

And is this really how it's going to end? Sakura shook her head slightly. Even though she desperately hoped for a different resolution, there could only be one answer. And it was simple.

"You should be getting home now." He continued in his deadpan voice.

She merely nodded, secretly admitting defeat in front of the unsuspecting shinobi.

He was right, she should be home now.

Tonight, she should be going back to square one.

Eight.

She was nervous.

Too nervous in fact, that she made up an excuse earlier that the only reason she came to his house tonight was to check up on him. Pathetic reason but it was something nevertheless.

His last mission (as she was informed by Tsunade-sama) nearly cost him his life and he was luckily to have survived with just a gash on his left leg. Of course she had made a great deal of it, warning him of what not to eat and what not to do as she concentrated on healing him. She even wrote a list of the things she told him on a piece of paper to make sure he follows them and now it was neatly stuck on his fridge door.

All of this just for the excuse of stalling for more time, so she could build up the courage to say what exactly she had meant to say.

But why? Dammit, why now?

She's finally allowed to be close to him. Finally given the chance to be beside him when he needed the support. Finally showed him how she still felt despite what had happened over the past years. Why must the spiritual being high above torture her like this?

To put it bluntly, her efforts were truly in vain.

Seven.

"Ne, Sasuke-kun, I've been here too long, haven't I?" She asked quietly.

He raised his right eyebrow (something that she found cute every time he did it) questioning her. "That's why I said it's getting late." He said a matter-of-factly, unfolding his arms and placed them in his pockets.

"Do you want me to walk you home then?" He proceeded forward, but she held his arm.

"There's something I've got to tell you."

Six.

He stopped in his tracks and looked down at her, indicating that he was listening. She looked away, letting go of his arm. She took a breath in and let it out slowly.

"Sasuke-kun."

"Hn?"

"…"

"Saku-ra-"

"Can you still feel it?" She asked quickly.

"What?"

The question troubled the man and without really knowing what to do, he took a step towards her and cleared the distance between them. She looked up and he unexpectedly could see the sadness in her usual bright emerald eyes.

"The feeling of loneliness." She answered. Then she reached out and encircled her arms around his body, hugging him. His body immediately stiffened but she didn't care. She didn't care how uncomfortable she made him feel. Tonight, besides her – he also needs to confirm his own feelings too.

"Even though the two of us are standing here together, being this close, you can still feel the loneliness can't you?" She asked.

Five.

Hearing no answer from the prodigy shinobi she continued on. "I love you. I love you and don't pretend that you don't know that."

"Sakura…"

But she interrupted him. "Ne, Sasuke-kun…what I want to know is…do you feel the same way too?"

He made no movement nor did he indicate that he was going to say anything.

But really, what did she expect?

Four.

After a few seconds of contemplating her question, Sasuke began to let his body loosen up and opened his mouth to say but before he could answer or do anything she had jerked herself away from him and turned the other way.

"You don't have to answer me Sasuke-kun. I mean, it's quite okay now." She said, her tone of voice quavering a bit. "You know, I always tried to tell myself that being near you doesn't mean anything. That I shouldn't hope for anything more."

But it was never like that.

Every time she was near him, her heart would start to beat really fast and her cheeks turning red – something that Naruto never fails to mention. She was fortunate enough to be able to talk to him normally though; being serious when needed to (especially during missions) or not saying at all but still be comfortable with each other. However, no one knew that 'inner Sakura' was trying hard to control herself not to jump on him or even refraining herself from hugging him.

It was heart wrenching, being close to him but not close enough.

Three.

"I convinced myself that it was okay, that even if I feel that way, it was enough because you're right here with me." Sakura explained.

"Sakura –"

"But of course!" She gave a small laugh, interrupting him. "I thought this is how love is; to love the person unconditionally and unselfishly. You wouldn't believe before that it was satisfying enough to just be able to see the person I love everyday without having to call them my own. I thought that this is my style of loving you - Sakura's style."

At this point, tears were threatening to fall but she quickly wiped them away. This was no time for tears. She has to be strong – because this is it. This is goodbye.

"But recently I've realised that…no matter how close you are to me, no matter how much I open up to you. I can never reach you."

Two.

She could hear the seconds ticking away.

"I guess it's time for me to go now."

She could feel her whole body tremble but she won't give in. She has to stay strong – because this is it.

This is it.

This is goodbye.

She turned and looked at him for the last time that night and gave a small smile of acknowledgement. "Sasuke-kun, goodbye."

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Sasuke-kun.

Goodbye.

One.

Sakura walked ahead, never once looking back. She knew there left no other reason for her to stay because the reason was already clear in her mind.

'This is what love is – my style, Sakura's style. Sasuke-kun…can you see now?

I'm letting you go.

For you, for me – I'm willing to make the first move.

And also my last.'

Zero.

It was after all, time for her to go.