(A/N: Just a small oneshot, I still plan on updating my other fics soon. Please enjoy and some reviews wouldn't hurt, I hope you find it as amusing as I did when I was writing it. If not, well, at least I had a good laugh)
OZ: De Great an' Terrible
It was an unseasonably warm day for that time of year; a high of 78 on the last weekend of November and practically unheard of in New York. The residents of Bayville were enjoying the warm sunshine through family football games of the front lawns, children flocking to the local parks in droves and a massive game of tag had been formed in one neighborhood that consisted of at least fifteen players. Dogs barking joyously, children laughing, birds singing, insects buzzing… It felt more like summer than the end of autumn. Those who had fled New York for a Thanksgiving in a warmer climate were kicking themselves now and those who were stuck in below freezing temperatures were cursing the fortune of the small town. Up a winding road, quite a distance from those parks and suburban homes, the students at Xavier's school were out of doors and enjoying the warm weather too. Their first thought was a sympathetic weather witch had been at work but Storm insisted that the change was entirely the work of Mother Nature. A touch football game had been started but soon had to be monitored by aforementioned weather witch as there seemed to be a bit too much touching in the coed game. At the moment, Hank, Jean, Amara and Jubilee were in the kitchen creating something with marshmallows and cardamom for a special dinner/impromptu cooking lesson with Thanksgiving leftovers. Jean and Amara usually returned home for the holidays but Jean being newly engaged to Scott seemed to think her place was there at his side. Though Rogue speculated to Kitty that it was because Jean had already started to play house and she didn't think her mother would allow Jean to take over things there. Amara had been harboring a crush on Roberto for the longest time and her course of action had seemed to stay and stare at him longingly when she thought that he wasn't looking. There were quite a few of the students there since they would be flying to visit their loved ones for Christmas and hadn't felt the need to leave, come back and leave a few weeks later.
Out on the back patio, far enough away from the commotion being caused by the other students and far enough away from the kitchen windows, two young women reclined casually in a pair of chaise lounges. They had gotten wind of the cooking lesson in the kitchen and had decided to sneak out so as not to get roped into it as Jean was on some weird bent about everyone needing to learn how to be a gourmet cook all of a sudden. They had met up with Gambit and Colossus, who were doing a little sneaking out of their own since they had heard Scott was recruiting anyone he found around the mansion to do some impromptu repairs and unnecessary upgrades. Kitty was very glad as she had donned a pair of adorable shorts that she hadn't been able to wear before the weather turned cold and an off the shoulder boho blouse that showed off her figure; the look in her Russian's eyes told her that it was a fetching outfit indeed. Remy was busy oogling Rogue's figure and didn't notice Kitty's ensemble. Over the past year, Rogue's goth wardrobe had shifted a bit toward the elegant and Victorian, perhaps maturing a bit. The layered black lace skirt she wore was merely that, tiered, shorter in the front and the bottom tiers growing longer in the back so her rarely exposed legs could be seen from her nylon covered knees down. When she walked, the skirt swayed and Remy caught a glimpse of a lace topped thigh high being held in place with a garter belt. Her dark green corset top pushed up her creamy bosom just enough to draw the eye but not enough to appear indecent; though it was sleeveless, a black mesh bolero and black opera gloves covered most of her arms and shoulders. A smorgasbord for his eyes to be sure but he was soon assailed with the scent of her shampoo and perfume; the mingling of rose, orange blossom and a hint of sandalwood that he always found incredibly heady. The foursome made their way out to the backyard patio; Remy keeping very close to Rogue and Piotr shyly holding Kitty's hand; and decided to stay there since they didn't want to deal with attempting to take one of the vehicles without being seen. Rogue also protested since there would still be plenty of Black Friday shoppers out clogging the roads, not to mention anyplace worth going such as stores, theatres and restaurants.
Kurt had been creeping about, attempting to get out of the Cyclops' work detail and joined the couples, even being so bold as to sneak in the kitchen with Kitty for an ice chest filled with drinks. Upon their return, Kurt realized that he needed snacks and decided to head back in; as soon as he bamfed away, Cyclops rounded the corner. Their field commander, decided to have a bitter moment and ask the two young men to work on a few of those unnecessary adjustments around the mansion; he was about to recruit the girls when Kitty blurted out something about having cramps. Rogue glanced at Kitty and then back at Scott who seemed flustered at the mere thought of menses and nodded slowly as Scott mumbled something incoherent and rushed away, calling after to Remy and Piotr. Rogue and Kitty Pryde merely gave their Cajun and Russian cohorts rueful grins as they made themselves more comfortable in their lounges. It had been well over a year since the Acolytes had switched teams and made their home with the X-Men, well at least three of them; Sabretooth was God-knows where and Pyro only lasted about a month before he decided to leave and find someplace with fewer smoke detectors. Colossus had been drawn to Xavier's cause from the beginning, finding it far more honorable than Magneto's had ever been and the petite brunette Shadow Cat had been an added bonus. Gambit had found the cause honorable enough but he would readily and unabashedly admit that 95% of his reasons behind joining up had more to do with a certain, silver-streaked Rogue; and no, he didn't mean Pietro… who was also God-knew where doing God-knew what. While the Russian and the Cat had begun with a shy flirtation and were now steadily dating, celebrating tedious anniversaries etc., the Cajun and the Rogue had a rather unorthodox relationship.
Gambit's almost immediate and unrelenting pursuit of Rogue left him with a punch in the gut, two cracked ribs, several bruises and abrasions… all within the first two months and those were merely Rogue's initial reactions. He then had to deal with Logan's reactions to the situation. Nightcrawler was also wary or the Cajun's pursuit of his schwester but he soon began to admire Remy LeBeau's persistence… and his durability. Anyone willing to be sent sailing through a few walls for a woman or rather by a woman and come back for more had to be committed… or should be committed. Kurt soon noticed that Rogue's resistance to Gambit was not out of disgust or dislike. It was an odd mixture of the instinct to protect herself and the need to see if he really would come back for more. Thus began the prevailing rumor around the mansion that Gambit had to be a masochist and Rogue, a bit of a sadist. Neither attempted to dispel the rumors but seemed rather amused by them though they neither confirmed nor denied them. After a few months, even Wolverine had to commend Remy for his perseverance and seemed to accept the unconventional relationship; after Rogue's eighteenth birthday that is. Overprotective though he may have been, he didn't really see any excuse to intervene once the girl was technically legal. Rogue's powers were still for the most part uncontrollable, especially after her run in with Ms. Marvel but what Stripes and the Cajun did after hours wasn't really any of his business unless it somehow effected the younger students. In fact, Logan actually preferred Gambit's company over Cyclops' and it was the team leader who, for whatever reason, still seemed to have a problem with the former acolyte. Perhaps it was because the younger kids like Jaime, looked up to him, like he was a modern day James Dean with his leather duster and his Harley and his careless regard for most of the rules of the mansion. A rebel that Scott could never bring himself to be. Why the intercom system needed to be upgraded when Forge said it was working perfectly was beyond everyone but Remy and Peter were selected by Scott to upgrade it; Forge had volunteered to help since he was bored tinkering with other things so they made quick work of it.
When they had finished two young men bid Forge adieu and made their way back to their young ladies, they found Logan and Kurt there as well. Logan opened the small ice chest beside him and handed Remy an icy brew that he had brought out once he had seen that there was only soda in the chest; secretly the hirsute instructor wished Scott was around to see. The stick in the mud leader still fumed that he couldn't prevent Remy from drinking on campus when the younglings weren't present since he was 21. Seeing Scott fuming amused Logan to no end sometimes; as an instructor, he really had to set a good example so poking at him would have been inappropriate. Remy accepted the beer and slid behind Rogue on the lounge; he leaned back against the lounge and pulled his jolie chérie with him so her head was resting comfortably against his chest. He took a swig of the beer and his hand surreptitiously slid over her hip and before Logan could utter a warning growl, Rogue picked up his hand and placed it around her waist. She had been talking to Kitty about something and didn't even pause in the flow of her sentence as she moved his hand causing Logan to chuckle. Piotr sat down on the chair beside Kitty's lounge and the tiny brunette slid over onto his lap without even breaking her eye contact with Rogue or noticing that the large Russian blushed brightly.
"So th' intercom systems are all upgraded?" Rogue asked dryly, tilting her head back to gaze up at Remy as soon as she had finished speaking with Kitty. "All crises' averted? Th' citizens of earth are safe f'r another day?"
"Yeah," Kitty giggled. "Who knows if we would have survived the night without that upgrade."
"Forge did most of the work," Piotr answered as Remy was still glowering. "He did not even require our assistance. If anything, I think we may have even slowed him down a bit. Although, he seemed rather pleased with an adjustment that Remy made. He was grinning quite widely when he discovered it."
"What did you do?" Rogue grew tired of craning her neck and slid her head to his left shoulder so she could still see him.
Remy merely chuckled, bringing the bottle to his lips when Rogue swiped the bottle, took a drink and handed it back before Logan could protest. "Watch it, Stripes," he warned.
"Ja," Kurt spoke up. "Cyclops might need a few lightbulbs changed in order to avert the next disaster."
"You'd think his first priority would be extractin' that ramrod he has shoved up his ass," Rogue muttered. "And hopefully he gets Jean ta help him with that."
"Maybe not help," Kitty mused. "She would have to, like, supervise the removal."
"But not b'fore they sat around for an hour an' worked out a strategy for it," Rogue smirked.
"Jean would supervise mais Scooter would form a special team for de extraction den give dem a three hour lecture on just how dey need t' work as a team t' pull it out," Remy added.
"He would tell them to arrive an hour later than they were supposed to," Kurt chimed in again. "Just so he could give them another lecture about coming late."
"I bet 'e knows all 'bout comin' early," Remy muttered.
Rogue gave an unlady-like snort. "That would explain a lot wouldn't it? Like why Jean's so good at givin' directions?"
Logan let out a choking sound as he attempted to cover a laugh with a cough and took a long drink of his beer. They all gave their instructor stares that ranged from surprise to amusement and he pretended not to notice.
"Rogue!"
They all looked up sharply as a voice called out from seemingly nowhere, loud and deepened in register; like Andre the Giant with a megaphone. It took Rogue a moment to realize that it was coming from the com system and that the pompous, insistent tone could only belong to their "fearless leader". But what could have made the coms… Remy was the only person not looking around to decipher where the voice was coming from and he was covering up a smile by taking another drink. Biting down on her lower lip, Rogue caught his eye and shook her head.
"Rogue!" The eerily flanged voice sounded again. 'He sounds like a Goa'uld,' Rogue thought and then silently cursed Remy for making her watch Stargate reruns with him.
"God?" Rogue bit back a smile and looked about, feigning apprehension, causing her companions to chuckle.
"What?" The booming voice asked, the com picking up Rogue's voice since it was she who responded. Then the voice spoke again, slightly muffled, someone in the room with Scott must have been trying to tell him of the malfunction. Laughter could be heard from the other side of the com and from the lawn where the others were playing football. Upon realizing the voice was Scott's, the game came to an abrupt halt. Ray and Bobby jogged over to the patio to hear both sides of the conversation and soon others followed, trying to stifle their laughter as Cyclops spoke again. "What do you mean? What kind of problem?"
More faint, muffled voices could be heard near Scott. "But the systems were just upgraded…. Gambit!"
"Nice goin' Swamp Rat," Rogue turned and pretended to glare at Remy but her emerald eyes were dancing. "Ya pissed off God. Now we're all screwed."
The boys hanging over the wall that surrounded the patio burst into loud guffaws and Remy tried to appear penitent but failed. "Gambit!" Scott boomed over the com again. "What did you do?! How do we fix this now? This is a vital tool and in the event of a crises, we can't afford to have malfunctions like this!"
"Mebbe it's the words y' usin', Scotty," Remy quipped. "Mebbe y' used a phrase tha' triggered somet'in. Try sayin' somethin' else."
"Like what?!"
"Try: I am Oz, de great an' terrible!"
That was all it took for everyone to dissolve into laughter though Scott was still lecturing over the com; fueling the laughter instead of actually coming outside to continue scolding the mischievous Cajun. Rogue had her head resting on Gambit's shoulder, the effort of laughing and sitting upright proved to be a bit too much for her at the moment until she felt him shift behind her. He was fishing something out of the pocket of his battered Levis, arching his body slightly as he did so and Rogue's laughter died as his groin brushed against her backside, sending delightful flashes along her nerves and a hot flush to her face. She sat up, took a deep breath and focused on the small box that he had pulled from his pocket, it looked like a remote with a dial in the middle with a few buttons at the bottom.
"What's that?" She leaned in close to speak though it really wasn't necessary since the others were laughing so hard around them that they weren't paying any attention.
"Jus' a little remote control Forge 'appily whipped up when 'e noticed m' special upgrades," came the husky whisper in her ear that made her shiver.
She blushed harder and couldn't bring herself to look at him so instead, she stared at the remote but she was sure that he noticed anyway since he chuckled as she kept her gaze focused. Her back was still pressed against his chest so of course he noticed her shiver; just like she felt the vibration from that amazingly sexy chuckle. Purposely wrapping his other arm around her, he put his fingers on the dial, pressing her body closer to his. "Hey Scott," Remy tilted his head up as he called so as not to yell in Rogue's ear. "I t'ink y' breakin' up, could y' say dat again?"
"I said that you should be thinking a little more about the team and less about yourself!" As Cyclops was speaking, Remy turned the dial and the voice bellowing out of the com became increasingly high pitched. "Teamwork gives us our foundation on what we need to do as a group to be successful in combat. If we are going to succeed with our mission as a whole then we need to remember that no job is too small or too unimportant."
A few of the other students were now rolling on the ground, clutching their bellies as they laughed, gasping for air because if an outsider were to come along, they would have thought Mickey Mouse was addressing them. Remy had been turning the dial incrementally until it reached the other end of the device. The girlish Mickey Mouse voice just kept droning despite the fact that he could have stopped at any time but their leader was so caught up in scolding the Cajun, that he didn't realize this: "Just because you felt that this job wasn't important or worth your time is no reason for you to behave so childishly. Our team is only as good as it's weakest link."
Rogue's cheeks hurt, her belly ached and tears were making their way down her face so fast that she was sure that her mascara was running. Wiping her eyes and her cheeks with the backs of her long, black opera gloves, she turned to Remy and gasped out: "Ya know he's eventually goin' t' come out here an' as soon as Hank and Ororo recover from this, they'll be down here too. Might be better if they didn't find ya for a while."
"Aw, chere," Remy's laughter had faded as soon as she had spoken and now practically purred in her ear. It made her toes curl. "An' here I t'ought y' didn' care."
"Ah'm sorry," she purred back, unable to help herself. "Did ya'll get the impression Ah cared?"
Remy's arms were still around her at this point but after another moment, his hands dropped to her hips and he lifted her to a standing position as he rose himself. Handing the remote to Ray, he shouted over the laughter: "Knock y'selves out, homme." Not bothering to watch the look of pure glee on the other young man's face, Remy took Rogue's hand in his and sprinted across the lawn. Neither the Logan nor the other students noticed the two southerners sprinting down towards the lake as Ray was busy twisting the dial so their fearless leader's voice was switching timbers from very high, to very low and back up again.
Once they reached the pond, Remy turned to look at his belle chérie; her pale cheeks were attractively flushed, her eyes were glistening from the tears and the laughter and pretty much wiped clean of the dark makeup that usually obscured her features. For a moment, he forgot to breathe; when he regained his composure, he reached over and pulled her close; knowing that she would either comply or toss him into the lake. Her demure smile was all the encouragement he needed to make use of the time afforded him since they could still faintly hear their fearless leader's lecture. A look of annoyance crossed Rogue's face as she glanced back in the direction of the mansion but she graced him with a sly smile and to his dismay, extracted herself from his embrace.
"C'mon, Swamp Rat," she cast him a sultry gaze and took his hand in her gloved one, pulling him in the direction of the lake. "Ah'll bet we won't be able ta hear anythin' from the boathouse."