Author - Laura

Rating - pg13 for language, sexual themes.

Disclaimer - I do not own gossip girl. K?

This had always been a ritual between Chuck and Blair. A ritual absolutely no one knew about, except them. When times were rough they would meet at the palace bar, no questions asked, and drown their sorrows with hard liquor. This usually led to confessions, which neither would claim to remember in the morning.

Blair Waldorf wasn't one for getting drunk. Her mother would never allow it, because she would embarrass her of course. Though, she would drink around Chuck, because she could trust he wouldn't take advantage of her, and he wouldn't tell anyone about their private conversations. Honestly, she trusted him, and she knew he trusted her in the exact same way.

Chuck bass however was what you would call an alcoholic . There wasn't a time when you didn't see him armed with a scotch in hand. No one thought anything of it though. Chuck spent most of his nights at the palace bar anyways, trying to pick up a women, or two. The nights when Blair texted him to meet at the palace bar, he shooed the women away instantly.

It was raining hard outside that night, which didn't help Blair's mood one bit. Just running from the taxi to the hotel caused her hair to become tangled and matted, and her make-up to run. Her eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep, and her stomach faintly growled. When was the last time she ate? She shrugged, did coffee count? Usually she would be running to the bathroom to fix her appearance, no one could ever see her looking so disheveled. That was the thing about Chuck though, he made her feel beautiful even when she was looking her worst. All she new she need right now was him, and gin.

Blair never began drinking without him, but knowing fully well he would be late she decided to start without him. Chuck Bass, he was always "fashionably late" as he liked to call it. Blair rolled her eyes thinking this, it was just plain rude as far as she was concerned. Blair was never late, except when with Chuck. He would whisper something in her ear, and she would be all his. Then afterwards she would hiss at him, as she struggled to re-apply her crimson lipstick and fix her once beautiful curls. Blair Waldorf is NEVER late she would scoff, and walk out the door leaving Chuck trailing feet behind her, and smirking.

She swirled the liquid in her glass and began to think of all the times they had done this before.

They were only fourteen when this began, and when Chuck began to drink constantly. He texted her only saying three words. "palace bar. 8." She scoffed, the palace bar?! They were only fourteen, and if her mother found out she would be furious. But she went anyways, curious as to what he wanted so badly.

She ran in the bar, as it was raining . Blair hated the rain. Thankfully she had brought an umbrella. She stalked over the bar slapping Chuck's arm to get his attention. Clearly he was already wasted. "What do you want Bass?" she said with no emotion. She didn't hate him, but she didn't like him either. He was Nate's best friend, and the biggest pervert she had ever met. Every word he spoke was laced with sexual undertone.

"Waldorf. Using last names I see. I just want a drinking buddy, and I couldn't get a hold of anyone else. I thought you would enjoy letting loose for once, pull the stick out of your ass perhaps?" he said with a chuckle.

Blair rolled her eyes, always insulting her. "Well, I'd rather have a stick up my ass, then be a pompous ass." she smirked, thinking it was a clever comeback. It would be a few years before she became pure evil, and had decent comebacks.

" You've never been drunk before, have you?" He said smirking, and then let out a hiccup. "So, it's not a big deal. I'm waiting until I'm older" she murmured. "It's not like I'm asking you to have sex with me Waldorf." he paused. "Although…" " Don't even think it!" She cut him off. "Fine. One drink, and then I'm gone."

Half a dozen drinks later she was still there. Giggling like a little girl. Chuck never saw her giggle, it was kind of nice. She did another shot, and looked over at Chuck smiling. "So, why did you ask me here anyways? There has to be someeeeething going on." she brushed up against his shoulder. He blushed. Why was he blushing? It was his best friends girlfriend. The only person he could not violate.

He wasn't planning on discussing the reasons why he needed to drink until he passed out. But he looked into her beautiful doe eyes, and couldn't resist. She looked too trustworthy.

"I've been having a rough few months." he sighed, looking into his empty glass. "I just need a night without my mind torturing me." he blurted out. She giggled some more. "Chuck Bass? Rough time? How is THAT possible, you have everything." "actually, I don't." he snarled. This startled Blair. "Chuck .. I didn't mean anything by it. It's just … what's wrong?" she questioned

He looked down at the floor, and she swore she could see tears forming in his eyes. Chuck Bass didn't cry. "You can tell me, really. I don't judge…" he let out a bitter laugh. "Blair Waldorf doesn't judge? That's like saying I have performance anxiety." She narrowed her eyes. "What I mean is, for you I will make an exception."

"It's my mom." he said quietly. Blair looked up at him, she could see the fear in his eyes. She knew his mother, granted she hadn't seen her months, but she never thought anything of it. "What about your mom?" she said slowly, as if he was a toddler. They stayed silent for what seemed like an eternity. "She's really sick." he finally said. "Chuck, I'm sorry." she said immediately. And put her arm on his shoulder. He brushed her off and shrugged. "It's okay. Look, I should get you home, I'll get the limo."

Both of them stumbled outside, and Blair fell on her ass, bursting out into laughter. Chuck, rolled his eyes and helped her up. "Chuck, I don't feel so good." she said, swaying back and forth, and then proceeded to the sidewalk to hurl a few times. Chuck ran his hand through his hair. "Blair, I know your mom. She's going to freak if you go home like this. Just stay with me at my suite." he reasoned. "Chuck! I'm not your whore. I'm still a …… virgin." she whispered giggling, as if that had any relevance. Chuck put his hands in the air. "Hey, I'm not going to try anything, contrary to what you believe, you're my friend." he said with a sincere voice.

She looked at him for a few minutes, and then nodded slowly accepting his offer. He helped her up into the hotel, in the elevator, and into suite suite 1812. He sat her on the bed and handed her one of his shirts. He walked into the bathroom to change, so she could change as well. When he came out she was still in her clothes passed out on the floor. He lifted her on the bed and took off her shoes, and put the covers over her. Then he slowly climbed into bed, and snuggled in with her. He might be yelled at and slapped in the morning, but it was worth it.

The next time they had a meeting at the palace they were 15. Blair had been the one to text Chuck. "Palace bar. 8. Don't start without me." was all she wrote. He had a feeling he knew what this was about. Just a few days ago Serena had left for boarding school without telling anyone, even her best friend Blair. Chuck knew why she left though. She had slept with Blair's boyfriend, and his best friend Nate.

Blair sat alone at the palace bar. He was half an hour late! She was furious with him, and Serena, and Nate. Everyone. They were all abounding her, and she felt like she was drowning. She rubbed her stomach. She had overate at dinner, because she wanted to punish herself. Though, her mom knew about her "condition" and it was impossible for her to throw up without her mother or Dorota finding out. She looked over at the bathroom, it was so tempting. Self destruction felt good, and getting fat was just not acceptable. Sprinting towards the bathroom, she looked under all the stalls, and locked the door.

Slowly she knelt down , and pushed her finger down her throat. It burned, but she didn't care. She did it a few more times until there wasn't anymore to throw up. Sitting there, she watched the contents of her stomach leaving the toilet. Her eyes stung with hot tears, and she wiped them on her hand, along with her make-up. Quickly she stood up and went to the mirror and re-applied the smudged makeup. Trying to cover her blotchy eyes, and bright red nose.

She wasn't able to cover up the evidence well enough, so she decided just to leave. Chuck was probably fucking some hooker or something, and she really didn't care right now. When she walked out, she ran right into Chuck. He was leaning against the wall at the palace bar. He wasn't smirking though, he had a concerned look on his face.

The truth was, he saw everything. He was late because he was debating whether or not to meet her. Chuck wanted to tell her so badly about Nate and Serena. Lying to her was impossible. So, he paced around his room for half an hour deciding what to do. It was 8:30 when he left his suite, only thirty minutes late, she would be there. But definitely give him a hard time about his tardiness. He was about to walk to the bar when he saw her leaving for the bathroom. She looked anxious, sad, and guilty? After she went in he followed, he heard the lock of the door. So he put his ear up against the door listening intently to make sure she was okay. When he heard her throwing up, and then the sobs that came afterwards he knew what was happening.

"…Blair, I'm sorry I'm late." he said in a sincere voice. Blair scoffed. "Early booty call? Whatever, Bass. Have your fun." she began to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist. "Bass, let go." she snarled. "Blair, just stay okay? You are in desperate need of alcohol and so am I." he pleaded. He didn't know how to confront her about what he just heard. Maybe once he had some scotch in his system the words would come easier.

"Yeah, fine. But you're buying." she plopped down on one of the stools. "Martini please" she said, with too much politeness in her voice. "Scotch." Chuck said. They sat in silence for half an hour, looking into their drinks as if it would perform a trick. Chuck broke the silence first. "Blair. I heard you in the bathroom." he blurted out. She glared at him. "Dorota didn't cook my supper well." she snapped. "Then why were you crying?" he questioned. "I don't know. Maybe because throwing up isn't pleasant?" she rolled her eyes. He wasn't buying it. "Blair, just be honest with me. Ok? I wouldn't judge." she scoffed. "Chuck bass wouldn't judge? That's like saying, she thought hard for a minute. "That's like saying Serena is a good friend." he smirked. "for you I'll make an exception."

"I'm just stressed. Okay?! Serena left without a note, a goodbye, anything! My parents are constantly fighting. And Nate. Don't even get me started on Nate. He's … avoiding me. Not answering my calls, texts. I just … " she sighed. "He was the one person keeping me together, and now he's just breaking me further." a single tear left her right eye. "It's just too much to handle right now." Chuck bit down hard on his lip. He wanted to tell her so bad, but she couldn't handle it right now. "Blair, it's all going to work out." She rolled her eyes.

"Just listen. Serena has always been a bad friend. I'm sure she will come crawling back soon asking for forgiveness. Parents fight, and I know yours can work it out. Nate's just stressed right now, he's not even talking to me Blair. Plus, he's a virgin too. He'll probably last eight seconds, and that's no good for you, right?" he chuckled. She glared at him. "I know this isn't reassuring, but I'm here. Ok?" Why was he being so nice? He needed to stop drinking right now. Blair slightly smiled. "You aren't THAT bad Bass. I wouldn't drink with anyone else." she giggled.

She hopped off the stool. "Well, I should get going." she began to walk away. "Bass?" Chuck turned around . "Yes Waldorf?" I didn't mean to, … you know. Just don't tell anyone. Ok?" she said quietly. Chuck sighed. "Just don't do it again. You're too beautiful to be doing stuff like that." She nodded and walked away. She smiled like an idiot from the time he said that, until she climbed in her bed. She wouldn't do it for two weeks. Until her father left her for France, and another man.

The next time it happened. They were sixteen. Chuck was seducing some women at the bar when he got the text. "Palace Bar. 15 minutes." He quickly shooed the women away, and waited for her. Chuck Bass didn't wait for anyone.

Blair stomped in the palace, in a long trench coat. Her make-up was smeared, and her hair matted from the rain. She sat on the stool beside Chuck. "Just Vodka. Keep it coming." she snarled. Her trench coat had slightly been undone and showed she was wearing some pretty revealing clothes. He smirked. "Waldorf, I'm flattered. My suite?" She had no idea what he was talking about until she looked down and saw her coat had come undone revealing what she was wearing. She let out a bitter laugh. "Don't flatter yourself Bass."

"Don't torture me Waldorf." he groaned. "You're my best friends girl friend, but all I want to do right now is ravish you." he smirked. "Do NOT talk about Nate." she spat. Wiping a tear from her eyes, they were filled with anger. Chuck sighed. "What did dear Nathaniel do this time? Smoke a joint before your date? Looked the wrong way at another women?" he teased.

"I fucking hate him and Serena." she spat. Chuck's eyes widened, she knew. "Really?" he said, trying to appear uninterested. After a few minutes she began her rant. "You know what that skank did? She slept with my boyfriend! My boyfriend for fuck sakes. Who does that? That bitch is going to be ruined!" she yelled. Everyone turned and looked at them. "What are you looking at?!" she spat to an old women. Chuck was stunned. This wasn't Blair at all. Of course she was a bitch, but not like this.

"Blair." he said quietly, hoping she would quiet down as well. "Why are you blaming only Serena for this? It's takes two." Nate was his best friend, but he shouldn't get off the hook so easy. "Because I need Nate." she sobbed .

The next time this happened they were seventeen. And their relationship had changed a great deal. She had slept with him twice, for what she thought was revenge. But became more than she would ever admit. Her thanksgiving had been horrible. First Serena confronted Blair about Chuck, and it turned into this big unessacary fight. So what if she slept with Chuck?

Then her father didn't come, and worst of all he didn't call to tell her. After being angry with her father she finds out it was her mother who un-invited him. Causing her to binge, and purge. She hadn't done this since being with Chuck. He made her feel worthy, so she didn't feel the need to. Thankfully she made up with Serena. But she was still quite upset. So she sat in bed watching Breakfast at Tiffany's.

Her phone started to vibrate . It was a text. All it said was "palace bar. 5 minutes." She knew instantly it was from Chuck. Why did this make her feel so good? She was falling for Chuck Bass, how wonderful. She hurried around her room trying to find something sexy to wear. She settled on a short black dress, and red heels. She applied her crimson red lipstick because that was his favourite, and was out the door.

He was already sitting at the bar. Probably because she was 15 minutes late, but she needed to look good. She took a seat beside him. "Martini, please." she said. "Waldorf, you're late." she smirked, and gulped down her drink. "fashionably late." she smirked back. "So, why did you need me Bass?" she grinned. He was defiantly rubbing off on her.

"I had a bad day." he sighed. "Me too." She sighed. He looked at her. "you want to talk about it?" he said. She shrugged. "Not really." he looked a bit upset by it. "It's just, I thought you could get my mind off the day." she smirked.

The next time they did this they were still seventeen. Though this wasn't a pleasant encounter. It was one of the worst days of Blair Waldorf's life, and Chuck's too. Nate had just found out about Chuck and Blair's affair, she was fighting with Serena, and she had just been dethroned. All she had was Chuck now, or so she thought. She texted him. "Palace bar. 8"

He rolled his eyes at the text, he was already there, and already wasted. He didn't need to hear her ranting about how Nate had dumped her sorry ass. Because he had dumped his sorry ass as well. Blair came in quietly and took a seat beside Chuck. He just starred at her as she declined a drink from the bartender.

She sighed. "I came to congratulate you in person." She began her rant. "You ruined my relationship with Nate." He rolled his eyes and took another drink of his scotch. "And Serena, all of my friends. Even little Jenny thinks she's too good for me. So, Bravo! Just like you wanted. I have no one to turn to but you." she said quietly.

"Actually, you don't even have me." he said. "Enough." she said. "I'll try to be more succinct." he paused. "You held a certain fascination, when you were beautiful, delicate and untouched. And now your like, one of the Arabians my father used to own." he looked down for a moment. "rode hard and put away wet." he said with no emotion. "I don't want you anymore, and I can't see why anyone else would." he took another drink of his scotch.

Blair sat there for what seemed for an eternity trying to process what he had just said. Realization hit her pretty quick that she had no one. Slowly, she got off the bar stool, and walked out. Secretly hoping Chuck would call out after her.

They never met at the palace bar again. Until now.

Blair decided to make an exception though.. Just like that night, realization had hit her. She couldn't live without Chuck Bass in her life. Her whole life had been miserable since they ended. They were on and off all through high school, until college. They now hadn't spoken in two years. Even though she hated to admit it she missed him desperately.

All this time without him she was a wreck. She only focused on her work, because anything else was too difficult. She was over-worked, and lonely. So she decided to leave him a text. All it read was. "Palace Bar. 9." Chuck immediately knew who it was from. Though he was in the middle of bedding some girl, he shooed her away after he saw the text from Blair. He ran his hand through his hair. They hadn't talked in years. What could she want? He sighed. He needed to go down there and find out.

He arrived at 9:30, and quietly walked up to Blair, and took a seat beside her. "Bass." she said. "Waldorf." he replied.

A/N - I hope I wasn't to out of character! I wrote this in only two hours, and usually I take much longer. It's a bit rough. But review if you enjoyed. I left you at a cliffhanger ! Should I continue it as a future-fic. Let me know!