Hi everyone! This is my first fanfic... ^ . ^ I'm so proud! Encouraged by
another writer to make my own humor fics... I decided that it might be
worthwhile to write a little sour humor to threaten the sanity of the
general public. Just joking... my writing will (hopefully) not be THAT
bad... *giggles* So, as I was saying.... on with the story.....
We must follow the general writing rituals to purify thy works..... ~ . ~*Meditates...just joking*
DISCLAIMER:----where I am forced to admit the truth :(
Me: *screams at the little half bald man in a business suit* WHADDYA MEAN I DON'T OWN DBZ?! I THOUGHT YOU SAID IF I WROTE ABOUT THEM...YOU'D GIVE THEM TO ME!
little bald man:ahem....I said no such thing....
Me: DID TOO!
little bald man: did not...
Me: uh huh!
little bald man: nuh uh...
audience: SHADDUP! WE KNOW YOU DON'T OWN IT, AND THAT'S TOO BIG OF A DISCLAIMER ANYWAY! SO GET ON WITH THE FIC!
Me: OK OK! *glares at little bald man* liar..
little bald man: *slips off quietly...sweating*
now....what you've all been waiting for..... the fic...mwah ha ha ha....
Diabolic Disasters- Anything that can go wrong, WILL go wrong.... ^_^*
Once upon a time.... floating a few thousand light years away from a tiny blue marble in the vast universe of intelligent...and less intelligent beings... there was a man. Not just any man.... this man, was one of the heroes of the Earth, the small planet mentioned before. No, it wasn't Superman.... in fact, he was short, not to mention he shaved his head. (DBZ fans, guessed it out yet? If you said no, you're a baka.) This man was just waking up.
Krillin's eyes snapped open as he wrinkled his nose in disgust. He cast an annoyed glance around the room littered with clothing and training equipment. Krillin levered himself up and yawned, slowly crawling out of bed. Damn...one day, I'll make Goku-
"YAAAAAAAH!" Krillin screamed as he tripped over a hidden barbell and crashed head first into the dirty laundry.
Goku, who had been eating in the kitchen, heard the crash and rushed to see what happened. Due to his urgency, he ripped the door off the hinges as he punched it open. With a loud slam the door fell to the floor. Krillin saw Goku emerge in the doorway.
"Hey Krillin...you... huh? HA HA HA HA!!!" Goku laughed as he saw Krillin sitting on the floor, decorated with underwear and an annoyed look on his face.
"Yeah yeah..real funny," said Krillin sarcastically as he flicked the last set of boxers off his head.
"So, you up to some training today?" Goku asked in his usual cheerful manner.
"Guess so... if I recover from the smell of your dirty underwear," replied Krillin with a slight edge on his voice.
"OK! Bulma cooked us breakfast... half of it is burnt, and the other half is not cooked enough. You know, the usual."
Krillin rolled his eyes and got up off the floor. He gave a sigh as he headed toward his wardrobe, picking out his usual orange gi. For a week, he had lived with Goku, Vegeta, and Bulma. He was just about tired out. It wasn't exactly his fault that the space ship had run out of fuel. Goku insisted that dried feces worked fine, like in the pioneer days, that Chi Chi once made him read about when he really bothered her. Bulma said that she was not going to dry anyone's shit, and Vegeta just wouldn't donate. Krillin was against it, plus... when they shared their survival story, it wouldn't be exactly heroic that your solid waste had been dried and burnt so the ship could go. It was Goku and Vegeta's fault that they were out there. Vegeta had been using the ship as a gravity room, and Goku had dragged Krillin to Bulma's house "to say hi". Goku got into a fight with Vegeta whether it was a gravity room or a ship. Krillin's friend just couldn't accept the fact that it was both. Vegeta was causing a royal rampage because Goku had invaded his training session. The commotion was so loud that it brought Bulma in and she started bitching out at them both. Goku still insisted that it was only a ship, and accidentally pressed a button, sending the ship flying into space to an unknown destination.
Krillin winced as he heard a feminine scream tear through the ship. The last week had brought a new meaning to hell. If you knew your math well enough...you'd know that Vegeta+Bulma=something bad. They were practically at each other's throats, and what made it worse was that they couldn't avoid each other, making them both testy.
"Well, excuse ME Mr. Porcupine head.... it's not my damn fault that you and that dolt can't get along!"
"Onna! I am-"began Vegeta.
"Yeah yeah," Bulma said cutting him off, and throwing her blue hair over her shoulder. "I'm the Prince of Asshole Bakas...blah blah blah etc. Save me the lecture....," she muttered, turning to go.
"How dare you defy me you simple onna!"
"Damn, can't you keep your royal ass attitude to yourself?" Bulma spat, looking back over her shoulder.
"Hey guys.... can't we just get along until we make it back to Earth?" Goku suggested meekly poking his head out from the corner.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK?!" screamed Bulma whirling on him.
Both saiyans winced at the sharp impact on their ears. Bulma was fuming, her face turning red, and her lips slowly turning purple. The three boys could swear she had smoke coming out of her ears.
"NO ONE HAS A DAMN CLUE WHERE WE ARE! WE'LL NEVER MAKE IT BACK TO EARTH!"
"Bulma...? Please stop yelling?" whimpered Goku, holding his hands over his ears.
"ARGH! ALL OF YOU JUST SHOOT YOURSELF AND SO I CAN BE RID OF YOU!"
"Saiyans are immune to bullets," retorted Vegeta in a matter-of-fact way.
Bulma muttered a curse under her breath and kicked Vegeta in the shin as hard as she could. Then she stormed off and slammed the door to her bedroom. Only then, when she had finally left, Krillin dared to come out.
"Hm...she's in a good mood today. Don't you think?" smiled Krillin.
"Yeah..." agreed Goku.
*giggles*
Like? Like? Want more? Or are you pleading with me to stop the deft torture? mwah ha ha ha.....
We must follow the general writing rituals to purify thy works..... ~ . ~*Meditates...just joking*
DISCLAIMER:----where I am forced to admit the truth :(
Me: *screams at the little half bald man in a business suit* WHADDYA MEAN I DON'T OWN DBZ?! I THOUGHT YOU SAID IF I WROTE ABOUT THEM...YOU'D GIVE THEM TO ME!
little bald man:ahem....I said no such thing....
Me: DID TOO!
little bald man: did not...
Me: uh huh!
little bald man: nuh uh...
audience: SHADDUP! WE KNOW YOU DON'T OWN IT, AND THAT'S TOO BIG OF A DISCLAIMER ANYWAY! SO GET ON WITH THE FIC!
Me: OK OK! *glares at little bald man* liar..
little bald man: *slips off quietly...sweating*
now....what you've all been waiting for..... the fic...mwah ha ha ha....
Diabolic Disasters- Anything that can go wrong, WILL go wrong.... ^_^*
Once upon a time.... floating a few thousand light years away from a tiny blue marble in the vast universe of intelligent...and less intelligent beings... there was a man. Not just any man.... this man, was one of the heroes of the Earth, the small planet mentioned before. No, it wasn't Superman.... in fact, he was short, not to mention he shaved his head. (DBZ fans, guessed it out yet? If you said no, you're a baka.) This man was just waking up.
Krillin's eyes snapped open as he wrinkled his nose in disgust. He cast an annoyed glance around the room littered with clothing and training equipment. Krillin levered himself up and yawned, slowly crawling out of bed. Damn...one day, I'll make Goku-
"YAAAAAAAH!" Krillin screamed as he tripped over a hidden barbell and crashed head first into the dirty laundry.
Goku, who had been eating in the kitchen, heard the crash and rushed to see what happened. Due to his urgency, he ripped the door off the hinges as he punched it open. With a loud slam the door fell to the floor. Krillin saw Goku emerge in the doorway.
"Hey Krillin...you... huh? HA HA HA HA!!!" Goku laughed as he saw Krillin sitting on the floor, decorated with underwear and an annoyed look on his face.
"Yeah yeah..real funny," said Krillin sarcastically as he flicked the last set of boxers off his head.
"So, you up to some training today?" Goku asked in his usual cheerful manner.
"Guess so... if I recover from the smell of your dirty underwear," replied Krillin with a slight edge on his voice.
"OK! Bulma cooked us breakfast... half of it is burnt, and the other half is not cooked enough. You know, the usual."
Krillin rolled his eyes and got up off the floor. He gave a sigh as he headed toward his wardrobe, picking out his usual orange gi. For a week, he had lived with Goku, Vegeta, and Bulma. He was just about tired out. It wasn't exactly his fault that the space ship had run out of fuel. Goku insisted that dried feces worked fine, like in the pioneer days, that Chi Chi once made him read about when he really bothered her. Bulma said that she was not going to dry anyone's shit, and Vegeta just wouldn't donate. Krillin was against it, plus... when they shared their survival story, it wouldn't be exactly heroic that your solid waste had been dried and burnt so the ship could go. It was Goku and Vegeta's fault that they were out there. Vegeta had been using the ship as a gravity room, and Goku had dragged Krillin to Bulma's house "to say hi". Goku got into a fight with Vegeta whether it was a gravity room or a ship. Krillin's friend just couldn't accept the fact that it was both. Vegeta was causing a royal rampage because Goku had invaded his training session. The commotion was so loud that it brought Bulma in and she started bitching out at them both. Goku still insisted that it was only a ship, and accidentally pressed a button, sending the ship flying into space to an unknown destination.
Krillin winced as he heard a feminine scream tear through the ship. The last week had brought a new meaning to hell. If you knew your math well enough...you'd know that Vegeta+Bulma=something bad. They were practically at each other's throats, and what made it worse was that they couldn't avoid each other, making them both testy.
"Well, excuse ME Mr. Porcupine head.... it's not my damn fault that you and that dolt can't get along!"
"Onna! I am-"began Vegeta.
"Yeah yeah," Bulma said cutting him off, and throwing her blue hair over her shoulder. "I'm the Prince of Asshole Bakas...blah blah blah etc. Save me the lecture....," she muttered, turning to go.
"How dare you defy me you simple onna!"
"Damn, can't you keep your royal ass attitude to yourself?" Bulma spat, looking back over her shoulder.
"Hey guys.... can't we just get along until we make it back to Earth?" Goku suggested meekly poking his head out from the corner.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK?!" screamed Bulma whirling on him.
Both saiyans winced at the sharp impact on their ears. Bulma was fuming, her face turning red, and her lips slowly turning purple. The three boys could swear she had smoke coming out of her ears.
"NO ONE HAS A DAMN CLUE WHERE WE ARE! WE'LL NEVER MAKE IT BACK TO EARTH!"
"Bulma...? Please stop yelling?" whimpered Goku, holding his hands over his ears.
"ARGH! ALL OF YOU JUST SHOOT YOURSELF AND SO I CAN BE RID OF YOU!"
"Saiyans are immune to bullets," retorted Vegeta in a matter-of-fact way.
Bulma muttered a curse under her breath and kicked Vegeta in the shin as hard as she could. Then she stormed off and slammed the door to her bedroom. Only then, when she had finally left, Krillin dared to come out.
"Hm...she's in a good mood today. Don't you think?" smiled Krillin.
"Yeah..." agreed Goku.
*giggles*
Like? Like? Want more? Or are you pleading with me to stop the deft torture? mwah ha ha ha.....