Riley doesn't really use Facebook beyond keeping in touch with distant family and friends. He's not too much of a meme person and a lot of what he does see on Facebook doesn't really interest him. He'll hop on about once a week, and like whatever photos his mom has posted, and maybe make the occasional status post. Sometimes there's something scientific trending that he'll take a look at, but mostly it's not really his thing.
So he chalks it up to boredom and insomnia that he finds himself scrolling through his feed one night at two in the morning. He likes the photo of the barn cat and her kittens that his mom posted and comments on the photo Matt posted of his rather impressive recent catch. One of his cousins is posting a ton of Pokémon Go stuff that he has to slog through before he finds something that catches his interest.
"What's this?" he mutters to himself.
It's a post that one of his few friends from school shared. It's a link to a video on YouTube that's titled "Everything ASEXUAL and AROMANTIC (Part 1) | The ABC's of LGBT". He shrugs to himself and clicks on the link; if he's not going to sleep he might as well learn something.
Oh, he thinks fifteen minutes later, after he's watched the video and suddenly has a lot of information to assimilate. He's never really had a problem absorbing a lot of information at once, but it's not usually information that strikes such a chord with him. He finds himself clicking on the link for part two of the video and then part three.
He watches all three videos one more time, mulling over all the different terms and definitions they cover. He didn't expect to come out of watching these videos with anything more than some new knowledge. He definitely didn't expect to learn some things about himself - especially things about himself that he hadn't even realized actually had terms and definitions. And he absolutely didn't expect to spend the rest of his night watching more videos and doing even more research.
By the time golden beams of sunlight start to stream in through his bedroom window, Riley has more questions than answers. It's like there was a door in his mind that he's walked past all his life and never thought to open, but now that he has, he can't think of anything else.
Later that same day, he tries not to be too distracted at work. Normally focus is his strength, but Chase is flipping burgers and making jokes whenever Riley brings him an order. Riley's feelings for Chase haven't exactly changed, and given the research Riley spent all night on, Chase's presence prompts Riley to ask himself more questions. Despite Riley's best efforts, Chase has never been as distracting as he is today.
He's doing an awful job of pretending nothing is on his mind so he isn't surprised when Shelby slides into the booth across from him while he's on break. She's got that determined look on her face that says she's not leaving until she's satisfied.
"Okay, spill. What's bothering you?" she asks in that tone of voice she uses when she takes charge of a situation.
Riley's eyes flicker to where Chase is patiently trying to show Koda how to flip a burger. That's only going to end in disaster. Shelby follows his gaze and her lips turn up in something like a knowing smirk.
"It's not as simple as you think," Riley preempts.
"Are we talking about Chase's burger lessons or your crush on Chase?" Shelby teases.
Riley bites his lip and tries to order his thoughts. He's not sure how to put into words what he's only just figuring out himself.
"It's complicated," Riley says.
"It's okay if you like him, Riley," Shelby says. Her support is nice, but she's missing crucial information.
"No, I know that," Riley says. He takes a bite of his food to give himself time to think about how to say what he wants to say.
"You know you can talk to me about whatever."
"It's not that I don't want to talk about it. I'm just...not sure how to," Riley admits. "I only just figured some things out last night."
Shelby nods and gets that understanding look on her face again. "No wonder you're so distracted. It's not like you."
"Well, when I say 'I only just figured some things out' I mean I started questioning things I never really questioned before," Riley says. He sucks in a deep breath. "I think I'm asexual. No, I'm about 99.9% percent positive I'm asexual and-"
"Wait a second. Before you go on, I want to make sure I understand so I'm gonna need you to explain something to me," Shelby cuts in. Riley's actually grateful, fully realizing she stopped him from going off on what would've been an embarrassing ramble. "What do you mean by asexual?"
"Uh, well, for me it's a lack of sexual attraction. So like, I find Chase hot and I want to do relationship-y things with him, like go on dates and stuff, but I don't want to, uh, do anything with him." Riley can't help the hopeful look he gives her. "Does that make any sense?"
He can practically see the wheels turning in her head as she absorbs what he's just revealed. He trusts her to get it. She may not completely understand, but she's the kind of person who thinks that accepting how someone feels is more important than understanding it. She's probably one of the best friends he's ever made.
"It does, but I'm sensing that isn't the real problem here," Shelby finally says.
Riley sighs and tilts his head ever so slightly towards the kitchen where Chase is back to working diligently. "Not only is he straight as an arrow, he's the definition of thinks about sex every six seconds. Even if he was interested in me, he'd never be happy in a relationship where he's not getting any."
Shelby turns her head so she's studying Chase as well. Chase looks over at them and wiggles his eyebrows at Shelby. It's harmless flirting because they all know Shelby only has eyes for Tyler, but it's typical Chase. He likes flirting with women.
"Okay, I can see why you'd think that," Shelby says as she turns her attention back to Riley. "Here's the thing though: he was an absolute mess when Doomwing... when you were unconscious. And I don't mean in the same way we all were. It was obvious that you mean something more to him than the rest of us do. It's not my place to put a name on it, but I think you should talk to him."
Riley continues to stare at Chase and bites his lip. Chase is working, but he's also throwing quick, concerned glances their way. Ever since the mess with Gold Digger, Chase has gotten really good at recognizing when something is wrong or bothering his friends, and he's clearly figured out that something's up.
"I'm serious," Shelby says, drawing Riley's attention back to her. "Talk to him. The worst he will say is that he's not interested in that kind of relationship."
"He could say worse," Riley mumbles, looking down at the table. His mind has come up with a million awful ways for that conversation to go.
"He won't and, deep down, you know it. If he was that kinda person, the black energem never would have chosen him." She's got a point, but he still can't help but worry. "Besides, he keeps looking at you. He's worked out that something is wrong. You know he won't let that go. And given the way you keep staring at him while looking all crestfallen, he's probably also worked out that whatever's wrong has something to do with him. I know you're not going to lie to him, so you might want to figure out how you're going to tell him."
Riley snorts. "Yeeeah, having this talk here was strategically not the best move for me to keep my secrets."
"Just talk to him, Riley. If he's a jerk about it, I'll mess up his pretty face for you."
Riley grins then, watching her stand up. "That won't be necessary, but thanks, Shelbs."
"Anytime, baby raptor."
Riley groans. "I told you guys not to call me that."
"I know, why do you think I did it?"
Riley chucks one of his napkins at her as she dances away, laughing as she goes. He really does have the best friends. Even if they do keep trying to treat him like he's much younger than he is.
XxXxX
Riley isn't all that surprised to find Chase casually leaning against his apartment door when he finally makes his way home. He'd gone for a run through the park after work to try and settle his mind and to figure out how exactly he was going to talk to Chase. He's still not sure what to say, but he's no longer feeling as anxious about it.
"Hey, mate. Nice run?" Chase greets him, flashing that easy-going smile of his. As usual Riley is struck by how gorgeous Chase is and briefly wishes things could just be easier.
"Yeah, really got the heart pumping," Riley says as he smiles back and goes to unlock the door. Chase follows him inside and takes a seat at the same spot on the couch that he always does when he's over. "Want anything to drink?"
"Water, please."
Riley fetches a bottle of water for Chase and a sports drink for himself and heads back into the living room. He hands the water to Chase and Chase says, "Cheers, mate," before he takes a sip.
Riley hesitates for a moment before taking a seat at the other end of the couch. He takes a couple of deep gulps to stall and let Chase start the conversation.
"I can tell you're not quite ready to talk," Chase says, because of course he can see that. "Why don't you go shower, 'cause I can't imagine you feel all that great sitting here all sweaty. We'll talk after, yeah?"
Riley can't argue with that, so he doesn't. He turns on the TV for Chase to entertain himself and then heads off to shower. Normally he enjoys a nice hot shower - he's been known to luxuriate until he's used up all the hot water - but with the conversation he's got waiting for him, he can't relax as fully as he normally would.
After he has gotten dressed, Riley pads back into the living room to find that Chase has settled on watching some extreme sports show. He mutes it as soon as Riley sits down next to him and turns his full attention to him. It's a little overwhelming to have Chase's full, undivided attention when he knows they're about to talk about his feelings.
"You can tell me anything, mate. I won't judge you," Chase says when the silence stretches between them. He cracks a bit of a smile, his eyes twinkling.
Riley is too nervous to smile back. "I'm gonna hold you to that."
"Riley, chill bro. There's not a lot you could say that would upset me," Chase says. What he doesn't say is that they both know that Riley is actually really good at saying the things that have actually upset Chase in the past, at least the few times they've argued. Thankfully, there hasn't been much of that since the incident with Cavity.
"Okay," Riley says and then goes on before he can chicken out, "I like you. Like really like you. I think I have since the first week we met, even if we didn't quite understand each other yet. You're funny and attractive and you'd do anything for those you care about, but… I don't… want to be with you like… that."
Riley keeps his eyes on Chase as he pours his heart out and he sees his friend's reaction play out in the expressions on his face. He watches Chase's face go from something that might be thrilled, to somewhat smug, and to settle on confused. Very confused.
Not exactly the reaction Riley was hoping for, but so far it's not the worst his mind has cooked up so he'll take it.
"I don't quite understand," Chase says after a few moments where he's clearly tried to wrap his head around Riley's blurted confession. "You like me and want to be with me, but you also don't want to be with me?"
Riley groans and buries his face in his hands. "Why can't I just be normal?"
"What? Hey now, none of that," Chase says. His big hands grab Riley's wrists and gently pulls them down. "Whatever you're feeling is alright. I'm just trying to understand, yeah? Don't put yourself down just because I'm a little thick."
"You're not," Riley says quickly. "It's just not really an easy thing to explain."
"I'm willing to listen, if you want to try." Chase says it so earnestly, so desperate to understand what Riley is trying to tell him, that it actually puts him a little more at ease.
"Okay, let me start again. Do you know what asexualtiy is?"
Chase's face screws up in thought. "Isn't that a form of plant reproduction or something?"
"Well, I mean, uh, kinda? But that's not… it's got other meanings too."
"And what are they?"
Riley frowns and bites his lip. "It can be, uh, when someone doesn't feel sexual attraction."
Chase is quiet again, clearly deep in thought, and Riley appreciates the fact that his friend is taking this seriously. Not that he doesn't know Chase can be serious and focused when he really needs to, but it's nice all the same.
"So, stop me if I'm wrong here. You like me and you want to be with me, but you don't want to have sex with me?" Chase asks. The way he said it is so much clearer than Riley's fumbling attempt and he wishes he could have just said that to begin with.
"I understand that's probably not something you're interested in both because I'm a guy and, I know you like sex but-"
"You being a guy isn't a problem," Chase interrupts. "I just want to throw that out there while we're confessing things here. Strictly speaking, I'm not as straight as you all think I am."
"Really? Huh. Thanks for telling me." Apparently the night is just full of surprises for them both, but there's still the heart of the matter: "Still, you can't tell me you want to be with someone you'll never get to have sex with."
"I'm also not the sex fiend you all seem to think I am either," Chase says. "I know I've kinda projected that image. Yeah, sex is great, but, for me, it's not the most important thing in a relationship."
"And what is? What's the most important thing to you?"
"You."
Riley's heartrate picks up. He can feel his cheeks flush as his lips curl up into a shy smile. No one can ever say Chase isn't a charmer.
"Look, why don't we go eat at the diner, my treat, and we can talk some more?"
Riley's smile gets even bigger. "Are you asking me on a date?"
"Do you want it to be a date?"
"Yes."
Chase gives a delighted laugh. "Well then, it's a date."
As they stand up to go, Riley realizes that hadn't even considered this a possibility. He owes Shelby so much. And just thinking that makes him groan. She's never going to let him live this down.