Haze
Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Diaries.
Summary: I wanted to explore the episode where Damon calls Caroline useless.
I saw him. Damon. I gathered will, wrapped my anger around me as a shield and walked over to him. Because even I know that I wouldn't be able to walk away from him. I was full of purpose and self assurance. Then the familiar haze over came me and I become willing puppy Caroline.
Throw a party, Caroline. Throw a party. It repeats in my head. My heels click as I step, confident. I will please him. And throw a party because this means he loves me again right? Or at least wants to be near me. Angry Caroline throws herself against those thoughts but I push her away. Why ruin my chance to be around him again?
I put on a purple dress, bruise. I smile in the mirror and try to restrain the silly girl face. Moving through the crowd, dancing my way towards him, the blue eyes beckoning me. I ignore the look that says I am not welcome.
He leaves me trembling on a bar stool. Shallow and useless. I am nothing. Nothing without his touch. I long for the haze and push myself into the cups and arms of anyone else.
When a warm arm wraps tighter around me all I can think is that it's not him. This arm is sweet, comforting, and chaste. I turn my head to fit into the crook, knowing that I am giving myself another lie to turn to. I seek comfort here only because the one I want refuses me. Shallow and useless.