Once upon a time, in the (extremely) little village of Ealdor – a village of immeasurable beauty, if slightly short on inhabitants – there lived a young Warlock and his family. If you haven't guessed already, his name was Merlin.
Merlin's mother was the kindest woman in the entire kingdom, and his sister Helen (destined to marry a handsome knight) was just as lovely.
Merlin didn't know if his father was lovely or not, as he'd been chased out of the picture by a crazy king (*cough - Uther – cough*). Nonetheless, Merlin liked to imagine that he was lovely as well.
However, sadness fell upon this pastoral home, and Merlin was forced to travel to the great city of Camelot to keep the magic secret. There he met a princely prat, and history would never be the same.
It was during this time, that Merlin's sister Helen met the dashing Knight Cenred. After a whirlwind romance, in which Cenred rescued the damsel from a peculiar weather phenomenon, the two married, and Cenred revealed that he had a Kingdom of his own. Thus Helen became queen of Escetia.
Escetia was a wonderful kingdom, as long as you obeyed Cenred's rule. He was quite the Machiavellian, and everyone knew that crossing him was not wise. A lesser known fact was that Escetia was also the party Kingdom, the Las Vegas of the Dark Ages, and the future inspiration for Monty Python's Spamalot.
It is an even lesser, lesser known fact that the name Spamalot did not originally come from a mystery canned meat, but from the aforementioned Queen of Helen, who had a habit of "spamming" the neighboring Kingdom of Camelot. Daily a messenger arrived at the gates of Camelot, with a suggestion on how the Prince should rule the Kingdom once he ascended the throne. It was all for the love of her brother, who she missed dearly, but the daily onslaught of anonymous suggestions, were beginning to bother the Young Prince (although it was a bit funny how they enraged his father, who immediately assumed sorcerers were attacking the throne…again).
Arthur was flattered that his kingly aptitude had earned such attention, but he felt intimidated by the criticism, and forced into ruling a certain way. When he complied with a suggestion, hundreds more flooded the medieval post office, and when he ignored them…the letters turned cruel.
All subtly aside, HELEN (whoever you are), you sound pretty cool. You're a fan of Merlin, and have found a community of fellow Merlin lovers. That sounds like a match made in heaven.
That being said, it's starting to make some writers uncomfortable that you're asking them to add you into their story. If you want to put yourself into the Merlin world, why don't you make a profile and write one yourself. I'm sure this community would love to claim you as an edition to the site, but posting anonymous reviews, and then bothering writers who catch on to your spamming is not fun for anyone.
Love,
A Concerned Community Member
And if you really are just spamming for the sake of being annoying
(which I don't think is true)
...seriously?