Listen to the Rain

by Somnis Veritas

After 5 long and difficult years together, Bill and Tom finally did something that they should have done a while ago; let each other go. Now, heartbroken and alone- Bill thinks of the five things that drew them closer to each other- and wonder where was it that things had gone wrong. Was it love? Could they had done something different? Could they turn back time and make it better?

1. Chapter 1

Sitting alone in the small studio, the figure sat curled up against the couch, his makeup smeared and his hair a sloppy mess tucked behind his ears. In his slender hands clutched the overly large shirt that he was wearing; black and white manicured nails clutching the fabric tightly as he brought it closer to his face. One leg was drawn up to his chest, the other haphazardly propped up on the coffee table in front of him. Inside, it was cold, the space unfamiliar to him as he looked around and felt a sudden rise of sadness and regret. Memories lurked in every corner and shadow, and he honestly didn't remember how his home, his sanctuary, felt before he had left it. There was the remains of shattered glasses and various other items, left exactly where he had hurled it during a fit of heartbreak, torn magazines and broken picture frames littered the ground as he sat alone. The curtains were thrown back recklessly, the dull light of the evening clouds providing all the light he needed to see, which was enough for him to calm down and stop. Outside, it was raining, the quite rumble of the thunder and the tears that fell did little to wash away the sinking feeling of his heart, but did manage to soothe him into a more catatonic state.

Taking a deep breath, his dark maple brown eyes closed, the scent of cologne and- what was the word to describe that feeling and smell? There wasn't a word for it that Bill could even think of. It was just a unique mixture of man and, well, Tom. The smell brought back the feeling that his studio was lacking. It smelled like... home; the place where he could run to when he was scared. The smell that always was wrapped around in the strong arms that would hold him when he was feeling restless, wipe away his tears when he cried or stroke back his hair and lay beside him when he was sick. He could feel it too, the warmth of another body, holding him closely or the low tenor of his voice when he soothed the younger man, easing him to sleep. Now, it didn't so much feel that way anymore, the feeling of being where he belonged was gone, leaving behind the bitter scent of regret, the sour tang of loss and the more overpowering smell of better times. At the thought, a chocked sob escaped his lips, followed up a soft hiccup, the fourth noise that could be heard besides the hum of the air conditioner, the assault of the rain as it pelted against the window and the abrupt thunder that streaked across the sky.

What had he done to deserve this? What happened between them that created this gap? Did love leave them? Did fate decide they weren't good enough together? Bill wasn't sure of that answer, but what he did know was that it wasn't always like this, just fight after fight followed by the slam of a door and silence. He knew for sure that there was a time where they couldn't let each other go and always looked forward to each others company, a time when all they wanted to do was get to know each other, hold each other, and laugh together. Tom used to be so much fun, spontaneous, loyal, charismatic and funny. He used to be laid back and honest, but stupidly stubborn and loud. Their relationship was once so surreal, so perfect that sometimes Bill wondered when he would just wake up; yet somewhere, along the line, those moments faded into the background, leaving behind a spiraling relationship that was destined to end, no matter how hard they didn't want to let each other go, no matter how many times they begged and pleaded to start anew.

Bill turned his head slightly and looked at one of the photos he had tossed recklessly on the ground near the couch he was sitting on. After a moment, he unfurled himself and bent to pick it up, recognizing it as the first picture he had ever taken with Tom. It was a silly picture of them, snapped while they were running to the entrance of the building that Bill had lived in, using the teddy bear that the other boy had won him at the fair as an umbrella. Both of them ducked awkwardly under the huge plush animal, Tom grinning at the camera in a cheeky manner as Bill stared ahead, one hand holding the furry arm as the other held the keys as he tried to block the lenses view. Tom had printed the image out and put it into a frame as a gift from their first date, seeing as the younger raven haired boy had to throw out the prize that he had won into the trash since it was wet and starting to smell like sewer water. It was a memento of their first date and adventure- where Tom spent a whopping twenty dollars to win something that wasn't rigged, followed by having to drag and stuff the huge toy around for another hour.

Blinking, the boy ran his fingers over the image of the other man's face, running over the colored ink of his high cheekbones, the curling corners of his lips, the black cornrows that fell about his shoulders. And then, he was scowling. What had gone wrong? He was so perfect, everything about him may have not be considered the 'ideal man' for the people who were friends with the younger male, but still, in Bill's eyes, he was everything that he could possibly want. He was willing to overlook the imperfections just for him- and yet when did they start to see past then and focus on the more insignificant things?

Turning his head away from the photo, he looked out the window, the tears dried long ago, thinking back a few years. In fact, about five years ago, where something so simple, something so overlooked brought them together: the rain, of course.