I was watching the Grammys last night and I heard a clip of the song, "Rehab" being played. I had been thinking of a story idea along these lines for a while and thought of what a perfect song it was for this story. I looked up the lyrics, and it wasn't quite as good a song as I thought it was, but I had some ideas niggling in my head and wanted to write something out anyways. So I fudged with the lyrics and order, etc. a bit and worked on it a little, and here it is. I guess it's a songfic, but I'm not really sure if I did it right, since I mixed up the lyrics like I said. Anyways, this is the first story I've ever published for this site, but I've been writing a little bit before. I think it's a bit OOC for Takato, though. Please let me know what you think of it, and whether I'm as horrible at writing as I think I am.

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REHAB

She stood next to him as he bent over the rapidly disappearing body of his friend, huddled next to him and sobbing.

"Guilomon! Don't go! Please!" he whispered.

"Takato…"

"Please…"

"You promised you wouldn't let me leave your side…" the digimon whispered, lying prone on the ground as his data leaked out in thin streams.

"I'm sorry, Guilomon! I'm so sorry!"

"It's so dark, Takato. There's no bread. And no smells," the digimon whined softly.

"Please forgive me, Guilomon. Please!"

"I'm sorry, Takato…"

I've got to think of something, Takato thought frantically as the last wisps of Guilomon's data started to disperse. There! He had it. Frantically he fumbled for a card to swipe. "Biomerge activate!" he cried, hoping desperately for the surreal experience that was himself and Guilomon merging into one. Maybe he could fix it before it was to late.

Nothing happened. Guilomon disappeared.

"GUILOMON!"

Rika bowed her head. "I'm sorry, Takato."

Takato stood up and turned to her, lashing out with a punch to her face. "JESUS CHRIST, RIKA! DO YOU THINK I FUCKING CARE IF YOU'RE FUCKING SORRY OR NOT?"

Rika blinked back tears, holding her head. She had never heard Takato swear before. Takato ran away, as fast as his legs could carry him, farther and farther, away from the scene in Shinjuku Park, where his best friend and partner had been killed.

---------------

Takato sat on his bed, his body heaving in a sob. Guilomon was dead, and all because of a stupid mistake he had made. He had dropped his modify card just as the Wild One was about to close in for the kill. He had been planning to have Guilomon digivolve to Growlmon at close quarters and be able to vanquish the Wild One in one single attack. He'd been trying to impress Rika at the time. How stupid.

The Wild One had charged at Guilomon and delivered a devastating attack. It wasn't long after Guilomon's data started to dissipate that Gargomon, using a Modify Card of Henry's, had finished it off. Takato hadn't even had the pleasure of killing the Wild One himself.

Angrily, he ripped his goggles off his head, hearing the elastic thread snap, and wrenched them into pieces, twisting them until they broke with a deeply satisfying snap. He smashed the plastic lens to pieces and hurled it out his window. "AAARGH!" He wanted more than anything to wreck something now, to make something hurt. He slammed his head against the wall, as hard as he could, over and over, until a dark purple bruise had formed. Panting, he lay down in his bed, huddled over the covers, and fell asleep.

"Takato?"

"Guilomon!"

It was dark and cold and he couldn't see a thing, not even the dots and swirls that appeared before his eyes if he closed them.

"Takato, I'm scared. It's so cold and it's so dark and there isn't any bread here. I can't even see you. Where are you, Takato?"

Takato heaved another sob and was about to reply when a savage sound entered his ears.

Takato sat up in bed, his heart palpitating wildly, wondering where the sound came from, hoping for a moment that his friend had returned, until he saw that one of his textbooks, balanced haphazardly on his desk, had slid onto the floor. He tried to go to sleep, but all he could think about was the dream he'd had.

Shit. Now he really, really, had to pee. How could he be so shallow? He leapt out of his bed, feeling his heels slam onto the floor, and stumbled into the bathroom.

As he was leaving, he saw his father's razors arranged on the sink pile. He took one and examined it carefully, a thoughtful look in his eye. He held it above his forearm and imagined raking it across his wrist. He must of stood there for five minutes, contemplating, until a thought screamed in his head, Grow a pair of balls and do it! He savagely sliced it across his forearm. The biting pain of it felt so much better than the emotional pain he had inside him. He sat on the toilet seat, spilling blood all over the bathmat, and then the door opened.

Rika Nonaka had come to try to comfort Takato. Now she stood there, her mouth agape as she stared at Takato's wound and the bloody razor in his hand.

They tried to make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no.

"Takato!"

Takato saw the bruise on her face from where he had punched her, and was wracked with guilt. He looked away.

Rika unhesitatingly bent over and hugged him, getting blood all over her shirt.

I know I've been black but when I come back you'll know, know, know

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Takato went to school the next day, despite his parents urging him to stay home. Finally they let him leave. They only wanted what was best for their son.

I ain't got the time and I my daddy thinks I'm fine

He tried to make me go to rehab, but I won't go, go, go.

He wore a long-sleeved shirt to cover up the bandages on his forearm. His parents still didn't know what he had done the night before, and he felt guilty about it. But he wasn't sure he was sorry.

He couldn't pay attention during first period, even though he rarely could anyways, as his high school Chemistry teacher was frankly about as interesting as road salt. His teacher suggested after class that he go home and try to cope.

He walked slowly out of the school, sitting on a bench at the park and staring at a tree until three in the afternoon, when Jeri came by.

Wordlessly, she came and sat down next to him.

They sat there for a few minutes until Jeri spoke.

"Takato, I think you should see someone."

"See who?"

"I know a really great psychiatrist who helped me when…"

"I don't need a shrink."

Jeri sighed. "Takato, I know how you feel, if you would only let me help you, we could work things out!"

"I don't want a shrink," Takato replied dully.

"Why don't you come with me?" Jeri asked. "We can talk."

"Fine."

They walked for a while in silence. Finally, they stopped. "Where the hell are we, anyways?" asked Takato dully.

Jeri winced, then replied carefully, "I'm not sure. We've been walking a while. It's a pretty bad section of town, though. We should probably get back home."

"Let's stop and get some food first," Takato said, indicating a convenience store. Jeri really didn't want to stay, as she had heard so many stories on the news about terrible murders and gang wars in this area, but she was glad Takato was perking up, and didn't want to disappoint him by saying they should go home. So she agreed, and they went in and bought some snacks.

They were sitting on some chairs and munching, when the door was violently forced open and a man in a ski mask came in, pointing a gun at the cashier. The cashier's eyes widened, and he frantically unlocked the cash register. "Hurry up," the man hissed, his eyes darting from side to side, his gun shaking as his arm trembled with nerves, clearly showing just how afraid he was.

Takato could hear distant sirens, which caused the man to panic. He aimed the gun at Jeri, who was angrily getting up and was obviously about to engage in some kind of combat with the man. Takato remembered how she had taken up karate recently, as she was aiming a kick straight to the man's crotch.

Takato was surprised to hear that the gun didn't make a loud blast like in the movies. Pop, pop, pop. Jeri and the cashier collapsed.

The man said "why do you think you here,"

I said "I got no idea
"I'm gonna, I'm gonna lose my baby
"so I always keep a bottle near"
He said "I just think your depressed,
"kiss me here baby and go rest"

Takato rushed towards Jeri, who was gasping like a dying fish. Blood welled up, soaking her shirt. "Jeri…" Takato said, sobbing. "Not again!"

Jeri opened her mouth gingerly. "Takato, I'm sorry. I'll miss you." Then her eyes widened as she stared at the ceiling. "Takato! I can see him! Leomon!" she cried, standing up and stumbling forward to embrace them. She grabbed Takato instead, and then nearly pulled him down as she slumped forward and fell again. She blinked, and whispered faintly, so faintly Takato had to bend over and hear, "Goodbye, Takato. I love you."

"I love you too," Takato whispered, but his words fell on deaf ears.

---------------

He woke up in a clean, white room. Rika, Henry, and his parents were all sitting next to him. He could feel a dull throb in his shoulder.

"You're awake!" Rika said, running over to his bed.

"What happened?"

Rika cast her eyes away. "They found you unconscious next to Jeri," she said. "They tried to help her, but… they couldn't."

Takato turned his head and stared at the wall.

"You were shot in the shoulder. The cashier was still alive and told the police a man came and robbed the store. They know you weren't the shooter." Rika winced, knowing she had made a blunder.

Takato sighed. "I just wish I could say I'm sorry," he finally said after a few minutes.. "To the both of them. I mean, I live in a fucking bakery for Christ's sake. Jeri and I could have gotten some food for free."

They sat there for a few minutes, not knowing what to say, until a doctor came in. Accompanying him was a woman, wearing a white dress. She obviously was not a doctor or nurse. "Takato, now that you're better, we think you might want to talk to Mrs. Ijuni here," he said, indicating the woman. "She'll be able to talk to you."

"Don't want to talk."

"Takato, we only want to help you. Please let us," Mrs. Ijuni said.

"Don't want help.."

The woman spoke. "If you want, we can just sit here. We don't have to talk about anything."

Takato let out a gusty sigh. "Fine."

His family left, leaving him alone with the psychiatrist. They sat there for a very long time, saying absolutely nothing. Finally he opened his mouth to say something. Ms. Ijuni looked at him hopefully.

"Is there a bathroom here?"

She hid her disappointment very well, Takato noted, detached. "Down the hall to your right," she replied brusquely.

When he came back, Ms. Bateman spoke.

"Takato, given all that you've been through, I think it might be best if you visited me in my office every week. We don't have to talk about anything, really, all you have to do is sit. We could even play a board game if you really wanted to, and I think it really would be best for…"

"I thought we weren't going to talk."

She fell silent.

I'd rather be at home with Blake
I ain't got seventy days
Cause there's nothing
There's nothing you can teach me
That I can't learn from Mr. Hathaway.

I just ooh I just need a friend
I'm not gonna spend ten weeks
have everyone think I'm on the mend

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It was only two days when they released him from the hospital. He heard dimly through the walls the psychiatrist telling his parents he was clinically depressed and they should keep him away from sharp objects. He sighed again as his parents thanked the doctors and drove him home in silence.

He went to school after a few days, determined to pay attention in class. As he was leaving, he took a different route home. Standing on a street corner was someone he knew from school. Rai was a known pothead and general loser. They had been friends in kindergarten, but then Rai's mother died and his father had started an alcohol addiction. He had soon been removed from class because he was becoming a bad influence, and they had been estranged. Takato had always wished he could have known Rai longer, and maybe have helped him. On impulse, Takato turned to him.

"Hey, Rai?" he asked. "Could you do your old friend a favor?"

---------------

Takato sat on his bed, staring at the box Rai had given him. They were full of syringes and needles. He stared at them. Do I really want to do this?

It's not just my pride

I just wanna wait till these tears have dried.

He started shaking, and then he thought of Jeri and Guilomon. Maybe I'll see them again, he thought. He took one of the syringes and carefully stuck it in a vein in his arm, slowly pressing down until all of the drugs had left it.

He thought after a while he could see Guilomon. Giddily he stared at him. "Guilomon?"

Guilomon stared at him. Takato thought he could see a little disaproval in his eyes. He took another syringe and stuck it in his forearm, hoping that he could see Guilomon more clearly. He also thought he could make out Jeri, too.

"You're there!" Again and again, he emptied more and more milliliters of whatever the hell was in those things into his system, untill the world exploded into a kalidescope of colors. And then he saw them, crystal clear, right in front of him. "You're there…" he slurred thickly. "You waited for me…"

They tried to make me go to rehab, I said

And then he walked toward them and

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Rika walked slowly over to the Matsuki bakery, letting herself in through the side door. "Mr. Matsuki?" she said. "Do you think I could see Takato? I think maybe I could help him out a little bit."

"Sure. He's up in his room. We understand that this is… difficult for him. If you think you can help, go for it."

Rika climbed up the stairs, her hands in her pockets. She opened the door and found Takato lying on his bed, his back to her. Something caught her eye and she looked at the floor.

There were empty syringes there. Dozens of them.

Then she noticed Takato wasn't breathing.

She stared.

"No…"

… no, no.